Processing my trip down the rabbit hole.

journaling

I’m so glad I talked about it. Everyone has been great. There have been no negative comments and hardly any unfollows, which surprised me. I’ve had a few comments like these though:

“You can’t be a narc, you’re too self aware and have too much remorse,”
“You’re a good person, so that can’t be true.”
“It’s just a bad case of ‘fleas'”
“It’s probably really just complex PTSD mixed with BPD”
“It’s probably NVS (narcissistic victim syndrome).”

Denial is understandable; I denied it too. For months. And it could be that all those things are true too. Narcissism is, after all, a result of being a victim. Narcissists are the most damaged of all victims, so damaged they became what was destroying them. And until (and if) I can get an official NPD diagnosis (which I probably wouldn’t get anyway, because I don’t fit the classic DSM criteria for NPD), there’s a possibility that I don’t have NPD at all, covert or not. Narcissists low on the spectrum aren’t necessarily bad people who have lost their humanity, but they are broken people and some want help. BPD symptoms and Avoidant PD symptoms mixed together can also look a lot like covert narcissism, but a few things didn’t fit–like the hidden resentment, envy and grandiosity I thought everyone felt.

In addition, because of the intensity of the emotions and events that led to my discovery and the surreal and almost supernatural coincidences that began to play out immediately after, as well as an enormous feeling of relief and a completely shifted vantage point where I could now see myself as others saw me, I can only believe my disorder is real and not a figment of a deluded imagination.

I feel like the copious tears I was able to shed just prior to and during my epiphany both cleansed me of some of the toxic, angry emotions I was always carrying around (suddenly I feel something closer to actual empathy!) and helped carry me to the next step of this journey, which is healing.

I know the next phase will be even more difficult. I doubt I can do it alone. I started a new blog intended to act as a therapy tool for this second big phase of my journey (and is also intended to help others in similar positions find their way), much as this blog has been a therapy tool for the first.

Because there’s no way I can afford the type of therapist I’d need, I’ve decided to search for a university clinical psychology program that uses BPD/NPD patients as “guinea pigs” to people training to be therapists, especially in reparenting/psychoanalytic (not just behavioral like CBT) techniques.

darknessintolight2

During my crisis last week I thought the shock of finding out the truth would kill me. But it didn’t and now I think it’s the most pivotal moment in my life. It also proved to me that God not only exists but loves me very much, because this revelation came after weeks of prayer that I thought were falling on deaf ears. I was almost ready to give up my faith because nothing was happening.
I was even losing interest in writing.
And then it happened, when I didn’t expect it. It hurt more than I can describe in words. But so does bearing a child–something wondrous comes after all the pain. God doesn’t always make things easy.

I’m not sure what’s going to happen down the line, but that’s not for me to know yet.
The idea to start a new blog happened after the dust settled so I think that was part of his plan for me.
If I’m right and God has taken the reins of my journey, I have faith he’ll direct me to the right therapist.
I’m both scared to death and excited as hell to meet my real self and for us to become reacquainted.

I think the true self comes out through art and creativity. For some narcissists, the “art” they produce isn’t real art but trash. But if they’re at all able to suspend their false self while creating (and I think some do), their art can be honest and beautiful because it’s coming from a place of truth.
Writing is when my true self is at its strongest. So I’m taking things from there.

I’m not sure which direction this blog is going to take. I’m not sure how to reconcile writing about narcissistic abuse without seeming like a fraud, even though that’s probably stupid because it’s not as if I wasn’t a victim of abuse. I was for my entire life until a year ago. Getting away from my narcs brought me the clarity I needed to get to this point. I don’t even want to think of what I might become if I had never escaped.

If anyone’s afraid I might abandon this blog, I promise I won’t. Just like I wouldn’t abandon a first child after having a second. However, for the time being I may focus a bit more on the new one, because of my need to write about things that would fit better over there right now, as well as mundane things like setting it up, putting some “meat” on it, and getting it established.

I’m not sorry this happened at all. I’m grateful. I feel so much better now, almost happy!

I’ll be gone for a little while.

under_construction

Blogging for these past 11 months has been an incredible journey of self discovery and now it looks like I’ve reached the end what writing alone can do for me. But it’s brought me to this point and without it I would not know the things I know now.

A few days ago I had a sudden realization and that realization is a huge breakthrough for me. Of course that’s a great thing, but its price is also a great deal of pain that I need to process and I think any further online self-therapy for the moment is going to take me too deep into something that would be best handled with professional counseling.

I detest the word “hiatus,” but I can’t think of a better word to use at the moment. I’m going to miss writing every day so much that I’m literally in tears right now, because I’ve grown to love this so much and there’s nothing I’d rather be doing. But I need to think of what’s right, not just what I want. I need to do a lot more reading and research about what’s going on with me right now and try to get a handle on it as well as find a good therapist.

I’m not ready to say what I know. I’ll come back here and write about it when I’m ready. It’s not a bad thing, it just is and it’s good that I know. I couldn’t see it before but now I can’t believe I didn’t. I will say this–that it explains a LOT. It also has answered many of the questions I’ve asked and wondered about for almost a year, but has raised new questions. My entire POV has shifted and things were not as they seemed.

I was always honest (as much as I could be at least) on this blog so I can’t write about mental illness or personality disorders again until I am ready to be honest about how all that applies to me too. I’m really going to miss that too.

I wish I could be more specific. I’m dying to write about it but I can’t yet. Change is hard but I must step back and process things, find out more. I don’t think I’ll be gone long. I just need to do a lot of thinking and sort some things out in myself first.

I’ll probably still continue to post articles about topics unrelated to mental illness or personality disorders. I don’t see any reason not to. I plan to do a “Progression of Fall” series starting sometime next month, similar to my “Progression of Spring” posts. Photography. Funny stuff. Maybe a serious article about something unrelated to this blog’s primary focus. Stuff like that. I may even be back posting before then. It might not take long at all.

I could come back within just days or a week or two if I feel ready to talk about what’s going on with me. But right now, I’m just not ready. I wouldn’t even know where to begin. It’s overwhelming and I need to step back and try to process it and get a clearer perspective on everything.

Don’t worry, I am fine. I’ve just entered a painful phase of self-growth. Writing is no longer enough and at this point could trigger things that might be dangerous to try to face alone.

I’ll miss you all very much but I shouldn’t be away very long.
I hope you understand.

If anyone wants to get in contact with me, you can reach me via email, LinkedIn or Twitter (the information is in the “Contact Me” tab). If you want to friend me on Facebook, email me and I’ll give you my actual name (which I have never used on this blog, for obvious reasons).

Peace and blessings,
Lauren Bennett

forget_me_not_lg_052811
Forget-me-not.

Bring it on!

itsmytime

This week has been very difficult for me emotionally. It started with an unnamed, free-floating but intense anxiety and panic, to the point I could barely function. A few days ago I plummeted into a black depression that seemed different somehow in quality from my prior zombie-like apathetic depressions. it felt more alive and more proactive in some way. I’m pretty sure I had an idea all along of what was about to happen but it hadn’t quite bubbled into conscious awareness yet. Its rising through the murky swamp of my unconscious caused me to panic and then a kind of grief took over but I still couldn’t name what it was.

Most of you who read this blog regularly know I began this blog almost a year ago as a form of self therapy (because I couldn’t afford a therapist). From the beginning, I committed myself to 100% honesty. Well, I’ve probably fallen short of that goal, as I’ve omitted some important discoveries and other things about myself that I simply didn’t feel comfortable sharing, even under my alias.

Last night–nearly 11 months from the day I started this online journal–I had a huge breakthrough. Prior to this, I tried to sleep but could not. When I did my dreams were upsetting and I had this overwhelming sense of aloneness and separateness. I woke up shaking and close to tears. I gave up trying to sleep and talked to 2 close Facebook friends for awhile. They’ve been a bit worried about me this week because my mood has been so erratic and I’ve done so much crying, which until recently has been unusual for me. I cried all the time as as a child but then dried up sometime during my teens.

Several things have led to my breakthrough: writing a LOT about my feelings and recovery from narcissistic abuse, reading as much about narcissism, BPD and PTSD as I could get my hands on, trying my best to always be honest no matter how painful or embarrassing (but not always succeeding), and finding God and the power of prayer. It’s been an incredible roller coaster ride.

For several weeks prior to last night, I’d been praying for the ability to regain the easy access to my emotions I had as a child, only tempered with the wisdom and restraint of an adult, of course. I kept reading, writing, and trying to elicit emotion through music, movie-watching, and self-reparenting. I knew this required making myself as vulnerable as possible. I took myself to see “Inside Out,” which loosened something inside me but not quite enough. It was like one of those almost-sneezes that never quite comes out and leaves you wanting to punch a wall in frustration. Nothing much happened after that. I was growing impatient.

dear_past

A week ago, I fell into my panicky, anxious state followed by a “wet” depression (that included tears instead of my usual catatonic apathy). I didn’t even know what I was crying about. I lost my motivation to write (in retrospect, I think this as a form of self protection when I needed it). I was snappish and irritable on the job but would come home and set aside alone time so I could just let everything out without fear of embarrassment or shame. I knew instinctively something important was about to make itself known and that scared me, but I felt a kind of excitement too.

It happened last night at about 3 AM after my Facebook friends and I ended our conversation. I read something that triggered a deep knowledge that hit me like jolt of electricity. For a few terrifying minutes I felt like I couldn’t catch my breath and I might even throw up. I felt hot and cold flashes and started to shake. What I learned was overwhelming and devastating–but I also knew I’d known this for a long time but had repressed it.

Everything suddenly made sense and I felt like I was seeing my situation and all my relationships—hell, over 50 years of my life–with eyes that had been closed since I was very young. I remembered, vaguely, that someone told me something when I was four years old. I couldn’t remember what was said or who said it but I did know whatever it was had been the catalyst when all my problems started that would not abate for over 50 years. One day when I’m ready I’ll remember what actually was said and who said it. I cried harder than I’ve cried since I was about 12. I can’t go into detail right yet about what this discovery was–I’m not ready. I may never be ready. But it’s something that although its discovery is incredibly upsetting to me, it’s also something I needed to have in my conscious awareness before I could really start to do the hard work necessary for real healing.

God answers prayers in his own time. He’s working on me. I have faith he works on all of us if we reach out with a sincere heart and ask for help. Now that I have this information that was revealed to me, the next step is to figure out what to do with it. Right now I just feel shell shocked. I have to be gentle with myself while I work through and try to understand everything that happened. I’m working on finding a therapist to help me sort it out because I think it’s too big for me to handle all by myself anymore. All I can do right now is keep on praying and writing every day and working on myself and being as mindful as I can until I find someone appropriate. I know the work ahead of me is going to be harder now than it has been and that’s okay. It may take a long time and that’s okay too. I feel like I graduated from something last night. I’m ready for the next step. Bring it on!

Somehow I feel lighter today although I’m exhausted and desperately need a good night’s sleep.
I know I can do this thing. But for the love of all that is holy, WHY DID IT TAKE SO LONG?

Movies about narcissism and psychopathy (new header topic)

clapperboard

I have so many reviews and commentaries about movies that portray narcissism and other Cluster B disorders such as BPD that I realized it needed to be a topic in the header.
I am not including documentaries in this list, just theatrical films.

Narcissism and Psychopathy

“Risky Business” (1983)

“Ordinary People” (1980)

“Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” (1986)

“We Need to Talk About Kevin” (2011)

Article from another source about movies that portray NPD.
A Streetcar Named Desire
Black Swan
Lucy in the “Peanuts” comic strips (I know it’s not a movie, relax)
Gaslight
Mommie Dearest
Schindler’s List

Borderline Personality Disorder

“Welcome to Me” (2015)

“Mary Jane Harper Cried Last Night” (1977 TV movie)

Other

“Inside Out” (2015) — not really about narcissism, but about emotions and how they work.

X-rated spam?

spam

Is it just me, or are other bloggers getting more profane spam than usual containing explicitly sexual messages? It’s not really a problem, since I can just delete them, but I haven’t seen this sort of spam until the past week or two, and am wondering if others have noticed it too.

I don’t want to set my spam blocker to automatically delete my spam, since sometimes it accidentally sends a bonafide comment to spam. So I go through all my spam messages before deleting them.

Best of Lucky Otter’s Haven

the-best-2015

I got this idea from Anna Valerious’ blog Narcissists Suck, who did a similar “Best Of” list. Unfortunately, WordPress no longer allows an “All Time” timeframe for gathering statistics, so this list will only include my most popular (most viewed) posts from 2015.
They are listed in order from most viewed to least.

If an article was a rant about some drama going on at the time and I was just venting, I skipped those for the most part.

The posts about Narcissism and the few about Borderline Personality Disorder that made the Top 50 will be listed separately from the rest. (These are my most popular articles out of a total of about 890 articles since I started this blog last September)

My Narcissism articles have proven to be my most viewed by far.

This post will also become a new static page in the header, which I’ll update on a monthly basis (for the rest of 2015 at any rate).

Most Popular Posts about Narcissism and BPD

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1. A Match Made in Hell: Narcissists and HSPs
2. 20 Songs About Narcissists #11-20 (part 2 of 2)
3. 20 Songs About Narcissists #10-1 (part 1 of 2)
4. Grandiose and Vulnerable Narcissists: How Do They Differ?
5. Famous People Who Have NPD
6. The Distinctive Look of Psychopathy: Gazing Into the Face of Evil
7. Why You Should Never Jump into a New Relationship After Narcissistic Abuse
8. Do Narcissists Cry?
9. 12 More Songs About Narcissism
10. Maybe We Throw Around the “N” Label Too Freely
11. A New Insight on Being the Only Child of a Narcissistic Mother
12. Can a Psychopath Ever Be Cured?
13. My Story of Narcissistic Abuse (Childhood and Adolescence)
14. Narcissism is a Family Disease
15. 12 Weird Things You Might See a Narcissist Do
16. The “Sex Symbol of Narcissism”
17. Sleeping With the Devil: My Marriage to a Psychopath (part 1)
18. Psychopaths and Pets
19. The Man You Love to Hate–or Hate to Love
20. Are You Being Gaslighted?
21. My Mother, the Exhibitionist
22. Letter From a Narcissist’s True Self
23. Narcissists Who Use 12-Step Programs to Further Their Agenda
24. Beware of MNs Posing as Victims in the Psychopathic Abuse Community
25. Disturbing Documentary About Narcissists and Psychopaths
26. Narcissists and Cleanliness
27. 10 Ways to Deal With a Narcissist
28. The Four Types of Narcissistic Abuse Victims
29. Could Reparenting Actually Cure a Narcissist?
30. Healing Narcissism: Stephen’s Story
31. More About the Narcissistic Stare
32. Why Family Scapegoats Become Lifelong Victims
33. The 12 Steps of “Narcissists Anonymous”
34. Sociopath vs. Psychopath: Is There a Difference?
35. Sam Vaknin: Narcissist or Narcissist Wannabe?
36. I Think It’s Iime We Stop Bashing All Narcissists
37. 5 More Weird Things You May See a Narcissist Do
38. Malignant Narcissism and the Supernatural: A Connection?
39. Eight Fun Games Narcissists Like to Play (and One They Can’t Play)
40. It’s All About Image: The Skewed Values of Narcissistic Families
41. Cerebral vs. Somatic Narcissists
42. Are BPD and Complex PTSD the Same Disorder?
43. How To Recognize a Covert Narcissist
44. The Real Reason Highly Sensitive People Get Bullied
45. Do Narcissists Have a Spiritual Purpose We Can’t Understand?
46. Are Narcissists Ever Abuse Victims?
47. Narcissist Parents Demonize Their Own Children
48. Courtney Love, Murderous Psychopath
49. On Narcissists Who Want to Be Cured
50. Do Psychopaths Hate Cats?

I am adding these 10 articles to this list too because they were “bubbling under” the Top 50 and they’re among my personal favorites (these numbers are not their actual rankings, but they are in order from most to least popular):

51. Book Review: “Malignant Self-Love” by Sam Vaknin
52. 22 Signs of Online Destructive Narcissists in Forums and Blogging Communities
53. Why Being a Golden Child Isn’t So Golden
54. Malignant Narcissism in Fairy Tales
55. All My Narcissistic Lovers
56. Lies My Narcissists Told Me
57. Malignant Narcissists: HSPs Gone Bad?
58. Survivor Hypervigilance and The Danger of False Labeling
59. NPD vs. BPD: They Are Not The Same Thing!
60. Ten Great Things About Narcissists

Other Popular Posts

other_topics

I have included only the Top 25 here because overall, these articles ranked much lower than my articles about narcissism. A few of these overlap with the subject of narcissism and could appear on either list, but for various reasons I decided to place them here instead.

1. Anyone Remember Merrimints? Well, They’re Back (Sort of)
2. My Favorite Optical Illusions
3. My Son is Furry–Got a Problem With That?
4. On Political Correctness and the Inevitability of Offending People
5. Forever Alone
6. Mid Century Modern Houses > McMansions and Other Neo-Eclectic Monstrosities
7. People Treat Me Like I’m Stupid
8. Blogging is Not For Pussies
9. Scientology: A Cult of Psychopathy
10. 20 Truths of Blogging
11. Road Rage, Bumper Stickers, and Narcissism
12. Why IQ Tests of the Past Lacked Smarts
13. Are Millennials Really the Most Narcissistic Generation Ever?
14. 15 Insane Things I’ve Been Accused Of
15. Who Was Narcissus?
16. 15 Things That Introverts Will Never Tell You
17. How Does Aspergers Syndrome Differ From Non-Verbal Learning Disability?
18. Ten Things That Make Your Blog Suck
19. The Curse of the Aspergers/Avoidant/Borderline Triad
20. Replying To My Haters
21. Ferris Bueller, Psychopath
22. Scrambled Eggs for Brains
23. My Weird Phobia
24. Chronic Rage is a Trap, Not a Trophy
25. The Narcautism Spectrum!

Vacation time!

vacation

No, not from this blog–from WORK! For a WHOLE WEEK.

More time to write new blog posts–my REAL job. Yippee!

10 Annoying as Shit Things Bloggers Do

If you blog, please DON’T do these things!

12 ways for for non-lazy bloggers to get more hits.

rosietheriveter_blog

There are many casual bloggers who only blog for themselves or their friends. They don’t care about views, hits or visibility, and have never looked at their stats page, and that is perfectly okay. Casual bloggers can write one blog post a year and it won’t matter because the few views they get are all they care about anyway. Their sole reason for blogging is to share their thoughts, feelings or pictures with a few friends–or just get them down “on paper,” so to speak. There is, of course, nothing wrong with that.
So if you’re a casual type of blogger who blogs only for yourself or your friends or family, this article will not apply to you.

But if you’re a serious blogger, like I am, you will want to increase your readership, get more views, and be more visible on the web. I think for most of us, the primary reason we blog is for the love of it and to share our thoughts with others, but let’s be honest: that isn’t quite enough. For aspiring writers like me, maximum visibility is important because visibility helps us promote our writing. Blogging can act as a springboard to other things. An active and well-known blog can be parlayed into a writing career or even the eventual publication of a book.

If you’re a serious blogger, you can’t be lazy. You have to work hard at it, and it becomes a job. A fun job to be sure, but still a job. So I am going to give you some pointers for how to promote your blog and get as much visibility as possible. I’ve been blogging for almost a year now, and have learned enough about this along the way that I think my advice can help you too.

1. The most important thing is to write every day.
I’m serious. I’ve noticed that if I skip even ONE DAY without writing a new post, my viewership declines and I get fewer hits. Until you’re really well established or have a really famous blog (which most of us don’t), you cannot rest on the laurels of your last well-received and popular blog post. You must keep writing. Of course there will be days you can’t think of an original idea or are simply too tired to write anything original. In that case, it’s okay to post a photo, meme, cartoon, or reblog someone else’s article. If you do reblog an article though, try to write at least a paragraph or two introducing it and explaining why you’re reblogging it. Don’t reblog just for the sake of posting something. Make sure it’s something you really like or that resonates with you. Your readers will pick up your enthusiasm if you write an intro. But be careful not to do this to often. If you hardly ever post original material, people will lose interest in your blog because it becomes nothing more than a platform to promote the material of others.

2. Have a good looking blog.
WordPress has many themes and many of them are free. I think the majority of them are tasteful and easy on the eyes, and they are easy to set up. If you run ads on your blog (you won’t be doing this unless you’re a serious blogger anyway), be careful about having too many other graphics and widgets on your blog. I’m probably guilty of this, because my sidebar looks like a widget sardine can, but I can’t bring myself to delete any of them. But I don’t think this blog looks too “busy.” Don’t use background colors and patterns that are hard on the eyes or that clash with the content. Use a font that’s easy to read, not just because you think it looks “cool.”

3. No walls of text!
If you write long articles, it’s best to break them up into subheaders, “listicles” (numbered lists), or use graphics and pictures. Google Image is great for finding the perfect graphic for an article, or if you’re a good photographer, you can take your own pictures.

4. Reply to your comments.
This should be a no-brainer. If you allow comments but don’t answer them, people will think you’re a snob or that you don’t care. If you get many comments, it may not be practical to answer all of them, but at least “Like” them to let the commenter know you saw their comment. There is of course the option to not allow comments at all (which may be necessary if you are being stalked or bullied excessively) but if you want your blog to grow, I don’t recommend this. Blogging should be an interactive activity, and if you don’t allow comments, people will think you only care about your own opinion and will probably lose interest eventually. Also, don’t run people off by not allowing them to disagree with you. There’s a big difference between someone who merely disagrees with something you wrote and a bully. Disagreements can turn into interesting and lively debates and discussions.

5. Use the share buttons, even if you don’t use social media.
There are many social media share buttons that WordPress makes available. You should make all of these available under each article, so even if you don’t use social media yourself, other people will share your articles for you and that will help you gain visibility. It’s a fantastic feeling to look at your share buttons and see your counters growing. When one article of mine hit 1K shares on Facebook, I felt like I won the lottery.

6. Use Twitter and Facebook even if you hate them.
If you want your blog to grow, I recommend sharing articles on at least Twitter and Facebook, even if that’s the only reason you use these social media platforms. You can set your blog up so your articles are automatically shared to the social media platforms you choose without you having to actually go to the sites to do so.

7. Use Twitter #hashtags.
If you have a Twitter account, and you have an older article you want to promote, or one that seems to be especially popular, I recommend re-sharing it using #hashtags. The automatic share feature won’t do this for you, but if you manually share an article to Twitter, include a few #hashtags in your tweet (a box will pop up where you can do this). Hashtags are basically just one word tags that describe the content of your article. For example if you write about narcissism, and you are tweeting about a relevant article, use hashtags like #NPD, #narcissism, etc. You won’t be able to add too many so make sure they sum up the content and are popular words people search for. Doing this works because even if people aren’t following you on Twitter, if they look up a topic by using a certain #hashtag, your article will be listed and it will get a lot more views than if you do not use hashtags. It may sound #stupid, but it works for me every time.

8. Reference and link to other blogs and websites in your posts.
Not only does it appear you’ve done your research by quoting or referring to material from other blogs, every time you link to another blog or site, it creates a trackback, which appears on that blog, and from there people visiting the other blog can click on the trackback or pingback link and be taken to your blog post. It also helps foster goodwill between bloggers–most bloggers love to be credited and have their blog linked to, and they may recommend yours or link to yours in return. I can’t even tell you how many of my “referrers” are blogs I linked to months ago in a single blog post.

9. Make your content easy to find.
I’ve seen blogs you can’t navigate because there’s no option for finding what you’re looking for. That drives me crazy. No one wants to scroll through every article you ever wrote to find what they want to read (and how would they know it exists anyway if there’s no navigational tools?) At the very least, use a search bar (which you can add easily via the Widgets on the Admin page), but I recommend using a few other features too that make navigating your site easier, such as a tag cloud, a category list, a table of contents, or topics listed in the header or sidebar (mine are listed in the header and some include subtopics). If people can’t find what they’re looking for, they’ll throw their hands up in frustration and go to other blogs instead.

10. Make good use of tags and categories. I still have a lot to learn about this. I tend to use too many tags and categories, and I hear this is a no-no. I’m getting better though. Like Twitter #hashtags, using relevant words and phrases that describe your article’s content draws viewers, because when they’re searching for a topic in a search engine such as Google, tag words will make sure your article is listed there, even if it’s on page 20 to start with. As your blog grows, you will find your Google rankings rising and some articles may start appearing on the first page if they get enough views. There is no reason why you should have to pay for SEO. All you need is patience.

11. Make your blog mobile-friendly.
Just about everyone these days has a Smartphone with Internet access and many people even use it more often than their computer for reading web content. WordPress has a feature under Admin Tools for making your blog readable on mobile phones. Doing this will also increase your traffic because it makes it possible for people to read your blog even when they’re at work, walking the dog, eating dinner at the Olive Garden, or taking a bath.

12. Don’t let bullies and trolls intimidate you or destroy your will to blog. If you blog regularly, and especially if you start to get a lot of views and hits, be prepared for this. There are going to be people who won’t like you, your blog, or your content, or are jealous of you or just want to stir up trouble because that’s what trolls do. Be forewarned: it’s not a matter of if but when. Fortunately, other than nursing your hurt feelings (if you’re sensitive), dealing with these people shouldn’t pose too much of a problem. It’s pretty easy to control your haters on WordPress. You can’t block people the way you can on social media, but you can delete (or not approve) their comments. It’s your blog; you can write about whatever you wish, and if some people have a problem with what you have to say, they are basically telling you how to run your blog or even whether you have the right to blog, and neither of those things is okay. THEY are not your boss–YOU are. You can’t be fired from your job as a blogger–you can only quit. Write about what you want and put those nasty comments where they belong–in the Trash. Lick your wounds and keep on writing.

If you are being stalked or threatened (like a certain very popular WordPress blogger was recently), you can always set your blog to private or password-protected for awhile until the dust settles, or disable comments. With any luck, you won’t ever have to do either of those things.

When Narcissists Claim to be Victims of Narcissists – Who is the Narcissist?

One more great article from a fantastic blogger about narcissists who claim to be victims of narcissists…and then write about them. How to protect yourself in the blogosphere and identify who’s really a narcissist…and who is not.

If you blog about narcissists you will, sooner or later, probably be accused of being a narcissist. Don’t take it too personally. Just learn how to be wary and protect yourself.

Blogging about narcissism can be very crazymaking indeed.

anupturnedsoul's avatarAn Upturned Soul

NPD - ELizabeth Bowen

If you’re searching online for information about Narcissists, Narcissism, Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), Narcissistic parents, being a Child of Narcissists, an ACoN – Adult Child of Narcissists, being in a relationship with a Narcissist, being a Victim of a Narcissist, How to Play the Narcissist’s Game and maybe win, How to Piss a Narcissist Off (which is one of the most popular search terms in my stats), or any other variation on the theme, you will be inundated with results.

The subject of Narcissism is trending, a Hot Topic.

The internet is bursting with information about it, from professionals, experts in the field, and from people like me who are sharing their experiences and working their way through them publicly.

Why share your private story publicly?

If your particular Narcissist has managed to isolate you and surround you with people who are on their side, then the chances are that…

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