Fun with spam #7

spam

We bloggers know that as annoying as spam can be, it can also be fun — like these five new gems I found in my spam folder today.   Most sound like they’ve been translated several times from some obscure language in a country no one’s ever heard of.

This is a good sampling of the types of spam I usually get.

The other day, while I was at work, my sister stole my apple ipad and tested to see if it can survive a thirty foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now destroyed and she has 83 views. I know this is entirely off topic but I had to share it with someone!

Sorry about your apple ipad.

I loved as much as you will receive carried out right here. The sketch is attractive, your authored subject matter stylish. nonetheless, you command get got an nervousness over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come further formerly again as exactly the same nearly a lot often inside case you shield this increase.

Um, what?

Fortunately, there are so many games available out there are your options are merely unlimited. Nevertheless, make sure that you tend to be downloading it from the safe side that won’t give up the security of your computer and become very cautious about Trojans, infections and spyware.Sun Labs makes exceptional fake tanning products.In case you clear away each of the dust to the boots, dampen your exterior floor of the footwear a bit by using cold h2o. Those which have been riveted or welded to bring the parts together should only be handled by specialists.

Scratching my head over this one.

I love your blog, dude.  Good points, I will book mark for future reference.

Dude,  no one who’s an actual person says “I will book mark for future reference.” Also, no one says dude anymore.

My name is ____ and here is my testimony. I have been trying to join the Illuminati and it has been proving abortive. I have tried so many people all to no avail until one day someone I don’t even know sent me a number and all that I have been looking for lies in the hands of that number I was wondering then I tried calling the number that sent me the number but was not always reachable then I called low and behold from then my life has been a changed one for the best. My brothers and sisters I am now a living proof that the Great Illuminati exists. From the day I called that number my life has been a changed one. I was given instruction which I doubted followed because the once I have been seeing made me really want to lose hope in all of them but at the end I was initiated as a member in Illuminati Level 6, I was given the sum of $70 million and a house in the UK with cars. My Dear Brothers and Sisters you won’t believe in what I am saying right now. The Great Illuminati exists. If you want to confirm from me call me at ______.

Uh, no thanks.

Spam, wonderful spam.

spam-in-can

Most of my spam gets auto-deleted, but some still makes it through.   Here are a few new gems dug up from my spam folder.

 

I’m not even going to read this. The headline tells me enough, and it’s disgusting.

The headline referred to was my page called “Chicken Soup.”

*****

Why people stiⅼl mɑke usе oof to read news paperrs wɦᥱn in this technological globe the
ᴡhole thingg iѕ ɑvailable օn net?

How many times was this translated and from what obscure languages?

*****

Hi! This post could not be written any better! Reading this post reminds me of my good old room mate!
He always kept talking about this. I will forward this article to him.
Fairly certain he will have a good read. Thank you for sharing!

You can always tell a spam post because of how fake and contrived they sound.

*****

Hmm it seems like your blog ate my first comment (it was extremely long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I had written and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I as well am an aspiring blog blogger but I’m still new to everything. Do you have any helpful hints for novice blog writers? I’d genuinely appreciate it.

What’s an aspiring blog blogger?

*****

Ay! I recognise this. Cramped space, reparations, irritations… and cats. Ayayay

WHAT?  (I like cats though.)

*****

Excellent site. Lots of useful indo here. I am sending it to
a few buddiies ans alsoo sharing iin delicious.
And naturally, thaks in yur sweat!

Spelchek iz yur frend.

 

 

 

 

Fun with Spam

spam

I’ve had my spam set to be automatically deleted for some time now, because I was just getting too much of it.   But WordPress still lets some spam come through.  Usually I just delete these without bothering to look at them, but sometimes I glance at them when I have nothing better to do.

Most of my spam comments are unreadable, as if they’ve been translated from Mandarin to Greek to Bulgarian to Bantu to Korean and then back into English by someone with third grade writing skills.   Or they’re so generic you’d know they’re spam even if they weren’t marked as spam because they could apply to any post–like the way newspaper horoscopes can apply to any zodiac sign.   I’m talking about this:

“Great article!  I’ll definitely bookmark this for future reference.”

Or they’re telling you all about how your Google ranking sucks and you need to purchase their SEO help.   I will never pay for SEO.   A little patience and dedication is all you need to get a decent search engine ranking.

The funniest ones are the ones that sound like they’ve been translated several times, and the subject matter is always completely random and has nothing to do with what you posted.   Here are two entertaining spam comments I’ll share before I delete them for good.

I agree with your statement because chapter 14 talks about how he wakes up every morning with a cheerful matter. when he so explains, ” To be awake is to be alive. I have never met a man who was quite awake.” Thoreau seems like a man with hope in nature. He  wakes up every morning and takes his time to observe the morning with a nature view.
adidas yeezy 350 boost low

I copied and paste the loader into the bin folder, ran it, got asked for license key, not sure what to do there, typed random things in didnt work either. Does the license key thing suppose to show up when you run the loader?

Here’s one of those generic spam comments.  What makes it hilarious is it was posted under a cartoon.

I think this article is very helpful for people,it has solved my problem,thanks!

Spam troubles.

spam

Until this week, I did not allow Akismet to automatically delete my spam, because occasionally a bona fide comment would show up in my spam folder.  Instead, I used to go through the folder every day and manually remove the spam after checking to make sure something wasn’t in there that didn’t belong.

But my amount of spam grew to a point where the job of manually deleting it every day grew too cumbersome.   So I had to make a decision.  Let Akismet automatically delete the spam or continue to slog through the spam folder every day?   I opted for the the auto-delete.

spam_blocker

For some reason, there are one or two people whose comments keep going into my spam folder. I have no idea why.   Their comments don’t include links or other spam indicators so I really have no idea why Akismet thinks they’re spam.   Fortunately, even though my spam is on auto-delete now,  there were still a few comments left in my spam folder (Akismet only auto-deletes the most “pervasive” spam, whatever that means) and one of the not-spam comments was in there.  I rescued the comment, approved it, and marked it “not spam.”  Akismet doesn’t seem to learn though.   It’s not the first time that I’ve had to save this particular person’s comments (for some reason I still have to approve their comments too), so I can’t guarantee their next comment won’t be auto-deleted.

I want to apologize in advance to anyone who may wonder why their comments never showed up.  Akismet’s accuracy rate is pretty good, which is why I am allowing auto-delete, but it certainly makes mistakes so don’t think that if your comment doesn’t show up it means I didn’t approve it or that I hate you.   Blame my spam-blocker.

X-rated spam?

spam

Is it just me, or are other bloggers getting more profane spam than usual containing explicitly sexual messages? It’s not really a problem, since I can just delete them, but I haven’t seen this sort of spam until the past week or two, and am wondering if others have noticed it too.

I don’t want to set my spam blocker to automatically delete my spam, since sometimes it accidentally sends a bonafide comment to spam. So I go through all my spam messages before deleting them.

Spam troubles.

spam_blocker

I use Akismet, the spam blocker WordPress offers, and it’s an excellent tool. I get so much spam I don’t know what I’d do without it.

You have the option of setting it up to either automatically delete all spam so you do nothing, or to send it to a special “spam folder” for later review/deletion.

I opted for the second, because sometimes Akismet makes mistakes. I have had legitimate comments wind up in my spam folder, as well as spam that somehow never got flagged as spam and wound up in my regular comments folder waiting to be approved.

Legitimate comments that wind up as “spam” usually contain links–I think the limit is two. If your comment includes more than two links, Akismet thinks it’s spam and I have to manually unspam it. But for some reason, one lady’s comments always go to my spam folder even though they contain no links at all!

It’s a pain having to manually go through my spam messages every day because sometimes there are hundreds, but it would be worse to have legitimate comments automatically deleted so I’ll continue to manually review all spam before I send it to the Trash.

Missed spam?

Has anyone been getting more missed spam than usual? That is, spam that winds up in your regular comments folder.

I should have taken a screenshot of one of these messages–most seem to be coming from the same source. They include a “trackback” to a blog post but are not from a legitimate source.

I’m wondering why Akismet isn’t picking these up. Next time I get one I’ll put a screenshot of it here.

Fun with spam #3

funnyspam

I hate how much spam I’m getting and most of it’s mind numbingly boring, but here’s a couple more gems worth posting before I delete them. See, spam can be fun!

Submitted on 2015/02/05 at 7:10 pm
Hi there Dear, are you genuinely visiting this web site
on a regular basis, if so then you will without doubt obtain pleasant knowledge. [That’s good to know.]

Submitted on 2015/02/05 at 6:38 pm
Previous research has suggested that the virus has been quite common in camels for at least the past 20 years, and was likely making the jump into humans. [should I be worried about this?]

Tonnemacher remains looking forward to breasts convalescence but it’s not really delaying the woman’s straight down. She has pumped up about the woman reduce and wants some other survivors to know whenever their head of hair evolves returning, they will should never think twice about at risk of your hairstylist. [sounds logical]

Puppy owners Hayley Sulley, 30, and Della Woods, Twenty nine.
The particular Athens Banner-Herald [link deleted] studies which a company director concealed the actual Navigation unit within the carry, inserted it in a handbag of clothes as well as tossed the idea into the variety container. [um, wut?]

Submitted on 2015/02/06 at 2:45 am
I knew I needed a platform for that molding
of the deer. [I really needed to know that.]

More fun with spam.

funny_spam

My spam is usually pretty boring, but here are two bizarre spam comments I got today. Bluebird of Bitterness will be proud!

A second WARNING: Probabilities are, as soon as you enter Wendy, your Arousal Meter will fill completely and quickly release, therefore invoking a far too abbreviated end towards the challenge. You are going to earn five from the likely 10 Existence Factors and move on along with your Existence, but it’s a somewhat embarrassing strategy to end factors.

Select comment mulberry bush nursery
Make contact with each of the women in your checklist at the least two months ahead of the event to determine what weekends they are 100 % free and what they like to do. It aids to get a checklist of concerns in front of you should you don’t know every guest personally, that’s sometimes the case with giant bridal events. The concerns are usually, ” What sports activities do you like to perform?” “Do you love board games?” “Are you interested in spa providers?”.

The spam of it all.

funnyspam

Yesterday a new follower (Bluebird of Bitterness–gotta love that handle) linked me to a post they wrote (I *think* Bluebird is male, but not 100% sure–forgive me, Bluebird) about the spam they get. And it got me thinking.

I never really looked closely at my spam–I’d just scan it quickly to tell if it was spam (because very occasionally Akismet–an awesome spam blocking service every blogger should use–messes up and puts legitimate comments in my spam folder, which is why I won’t have it automatically deleted), then once I determined it was really spam, I’d just press “delete permanently” without a second thought. But Bluebird’s article pointed out how hilarious some spam can be–it looks like I’ve been missing out on some great random entertainment.

So today, before I say bye bye to my spam, I’d like to share a few of these “comments” that sound like they’ve been translated, telephone-game style, about 15 times until they finally appeared in their garbled, nonsensical English incarnation and made it into my spam folder.

So, without further ado, here are my funniest spam comments today.

1. Today, while I was at work, my sister stole my apple ipad and tested to see if it can survive a 30 foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now destroyed and she has 83 views. I know this is completely off topic but I had to share it with someone!

2. I want to share my testimony on how i was able to get back my husband around September this year with the help of Dr Ekaka. My husband left me for over 3years and went on with another lady and i was unable to move on with my life because of the love i have for him last month i saw a testimony on the internet on how Dr Ekaka help someone with love spell so i never believe it but just have to try my faith which i did and i contacted him on his email: [email removed] and he told me what i need to do and after 2days i received a call from my husband asking me to come back to him it was all like a dream to me i am so happy now as we are back together again thanks to Dr Ekaka and i will advice anyone in need of help to contact him.

3. age.

4. sustain all three paragraphs all over same distance if at all to greatest article come across healthier and every aspect equally important.

5. Compass pattern on them robe on, give it a very familiar feeling.

6. “The Gezhu words, Tianhe Road, Friends Do not trust the next?” Compass Gezhu eyebrows a pick, and some do not Yu said.

7. All in all, every day the door of the General Assembly, the top four are the four natural Taizong obtained, while the last time too pure door had a third, just behind the front of the awe-inspiring College, this Heavenly cases apparently magic reign the first came in the second.

8. Tiange real mind a move, the Xiupao waved a green mask Guangcan Disciples protect all too clear in the one, the other doors were strong family have also shot, or resorted to spiritual device, or pinch broken Talisman , exhausted all means to protect his or mitigate subglottic disciples of spiritual pressure to bear.

9. Antony said he ordered the Central Bureau of Investigation, India’s main national law enforcement body, to examine all aspects of the helicopter deal.