If the earth was flat.

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catsmeme

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2 weird dreams I had as a kid.

An oldie but goodie.

Lucky Otters Haven

steel_wool 

I was a weird, sketchy kid who had weird dreams. When I was about 5 I had a dream about something called a “clout” that looked like an oversized steel wool pad. It was sitting on the small rug in front of my bed and I was too scared to put my feet on the floor because that clout thing was evil. It just sat there on the rug, in all its black malevolence, not moving, but I knew it was alive and meant to kill me.   I knew if I put my feet on the floor the clout would suck me down into the Hell-portal it must have come from.

When I was around  the same age, one morning I woke up doubled over with laughter.   My dad asked me why I was laughing, and I remember saying, “someone was throwing mud at my door.”  …

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Sobering thought.

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march_meme

Seen in town.

Nope, it’s not photoshopped.   WTF?

no_jaywalking

 

10 Reasons Why I Use the Word “Fuck”

Sometimes you just gotta say it.

Please leave comments under original post.

 

HarsH ReaLiTy

1. Things move faster when you yell the word “Fuck” at them. “Fucking move” works best obviously.

2. Because the word “motherfucker” has too many syllables in it and takes too long to say.

3. People have been telling me since the age of 6 not to use this word. Well fuck them!

4. The word “shit” lost its harshness years ago.

5. It still amazes me how a singular word can offend so many people just by its existence. I feel like all the Fucks in this world deserve my support now.

6. After I received my first farewell letter from a subscriber due to my language I knew I could never break up with the word Fuck ever again. Using it just makes my job easier.

7. I love words that have multiple uses.

8. I love this word when it is used as a verb.

9. I…

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10 years ago.

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90slife

America the beautiful.

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americathebeautiful

Eclipse 2017

This is so true.

Credit:  Keith Knight/Patreon 

eclipse

“Get out of my yard!”

One of the funniest signs I ever saw (taken by someone else).

pokemon

Hop on over the border, Vicente. We need you here.

God, I love this man.  Vicente Fox, the former president of Mexico, is full of snark and insights.  Here, he tells Trump why “Mexico is not going to pay for that f*cken wall,” among other things.    The jab about Trump’s Diet Coke drinking not helping with his weight is priceless.

Besides being uproariously funny, Fox seems to be compassionate, even trying to appeal to the child Trump used to be.   Unfortunately, a malignant narcissist as far gone as Trump is never going to have the insight or desire to “build a bridge across the oceans of time” to reach his child-self.     But I love the fact Fox goes there.

Hey, if Fox can’t run for President, he should apply as a regular on Saturday Night Live.