Swimming up from the jungle in my head
I’m a survivor of a malignant narcissist psychopath ex-husband and was raised by a narcissistic mother. I suffer from Complex PTSD, Borderline Personality Disorder and Avoidant Personality Disorder. I also have the fall/winter type of Seasonal Affective disorder.
As a target of people with NPD and psychopathy pretty much my entire life, I feel like I’m qualified to write about narcissism and of course my own disorders, and give advice on how to deal with those who target the vulnerable among us.
Recently, I feel a strong need to shift away from dwelling on abuse and on my past, and focus more on reaching an understanding of people with Cluster B disorders, and in so doing, understand myself.
Why the username? I aspire to live more like the carefree otter, not regretting the past or worrying about the future. Though we may be surrounded by hatred and evil, we can still find happiness, beauty and peace.
I love to write, and not all my articles will be about my disorders or even mental illness in general Sometimes I just like to write about something random that interests me, post a funny picture, or rant about something that’s pissing me off.
Starting this blog has also jump-started my spiritual journey. I’ve always believed God exists, but I always felt a huge distance between myself and the divine. I’m finding that writing is bringing me to a closer relationship with God and taking me in a positive direction that He has already planned for me. I’m also finding that more of my recent articles focus on the spiritual, not just the emotional and mental dimensions.
Blogging about stuff is crack for my soul. It’s good therapy too, and hopefully my insights and observations may help others too.
Lauren Bennett a/k/a “Lucky Otter”