About Me

hear-see-speak-no-evil-by-shadowmarim
“Hear No Evil Speak No Evil” by Shadowmarim on Deviantart

For a long time I thought I suffered from The Trifecta of Victimhood (largely brought on by my lifetime of living as prey in a jungle of predatory narcissism): Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD) and Aspergers Syndrome. Try living with that combination. Never a dull moment, but I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. It’s still better than being a Narc. [my thoughts on that last remark after my dive down the rabbit hole: HAHAHAHAHA! LMAO!]

Why the laughter?
Because for awhile, from about August 2015 through December I was absolutely convinced I was really a Covert Narcissist.

It’s very confusing, but thank God I’m not one. My therapist doesn’t think I do, but Complex PTSD, BPD and Avoidant PD together can look an awful lot like Covert Narcissism.

I also suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (fall/winter type) and was recently given a new diagnosis of C-PTSD (replacing the BPD).

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7 Responses to About Me

  1. Yeah I just like totally am lost.
    No problem though – I’ll find my way.
    Oh and do watch Jumping Jack Flash.
    I think it has something to do with Adobe.
    TTFN.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Beat Company says:

    Welcome to my reading list. You are in good “Company” …

    Liked by 1 person

  3. basilica says:

    Hi. I just stumbled across your blog while looking for reviews of “Knowing the Narcissist”. I was recently diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome and suspected C-PTSD. Until a few years ago I was in a relationship with a partner who became narcissistically abusive. Ever since I was discarded I have been trying to make sense of how it all went from heaven to hell so quickly. Once I’d had time to get my head together I suspected that my ex had BPD with narcissistic traits and sure enough a few months later she was diagnosed with BPD.

    After a long wait I have finally found a counsellor who has clinical nursing experience with clients who have ASD and clients who have PDs. I finally feel like I’m understanding how much of our conflict was driven by my needs as an Aspie clashing with her needs as somebody who has BPD. The only thing is that this has led to me seeing ASD and BPD as opposite to each other in many ways, which makes it difficult for me to understand how somebody could have both, but I’m keen to find out. I’m also keen to understand how people with BPD experience the world so that I can learn from my mistakes and better empathise with people who have BPD. My ex wasn’t the first person in my life who has BPD and she won’t be the last. Thank you for sharing your experiences and I look forward to reading more.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Amina says:

    Hey luckyotter. I am a 2nd year student in college and I am doing an Extended project on narcissist/psychopaths and their children. So I wanted to ask whether you can help me in my project by answering a questionnaire that I have prepared (which I will send you if you agree) since you have been through this. Can you e-mail me if you want to participate, i’ll really appreciate it.

    Liked by 1 person

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