12 weird things you might see a narcissist do.

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There are some strange things I’ve noticed narcissists do that aren’t usually mentioned as symptoms of their disorder, but seem to be common enough perhaps they should be included as additional criteria for NPD.

If you know someone who does only one or two of these things, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re a narc, but if they do several of them regularly and also seem to fit the more well-known criteria for NPD, these things could be red flags to watch out for.

1. They don’t blink when they look at you.

googly_eyes

Some narcs have a penetrating, predatory gaze. If a person of the opposite sex looks at you this way, you may take it as sexual interest (and it could be), but watch carefully: if they do not blink this could mean they are sizing you up as prey. Whether they blink or not, if their stare makes you squirm, get away. Listen to your instincts.

2. They interrupt you or talk over you constantly.

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If someone only seems to care about what they are going to say next, and don’t even seem to have heard what you said, suspect a narcissist.

3. Whatever you tell them is really all about them.

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If you say something to them about yourself, rather than acknowledge you, instead they always relate it to back something that happened to them. The Roz Chast cartoon above illustrates that well. You do not exist.

4. Their eyes look flat or dead.

jodi_arias

This is a “dead” giveaway and those eyes usually belong to someone high on the spectrum–a malignant narcissist or a psychopath. Get away from this person. The above photo of psychopathic murderer Jodi Arias shows how flat and dead their eyes can look.

5. They sometimes act psychotic.

crazy_person

All malignant narcissists are bat shit crazy, and their delusions can rival those of someone with schizophrenia. In fact, narcissists denied supply over long periods of time or who have suffered a severe loss can in fact become psychotic. Schizophrenic-like neologisms and nonsensical conversation that sounds like word salad isn’t that uncommon in a malignant narcissist living in mortal fear of losing their “mask of sanity.”

6. They have dramatic, unsettling mood swings.

young woman holding smiling face

Narcissist mood swings (mask switching) can be so sudden and inexplicable you may think you’re dealing with someone with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). For example, a narcissist mother can seem to be happily playing with her child and suddenly, for no discernable reason, start screaming at or hitting the child.

7. They are bad sports.

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They will act like babies if they lose a game. I remember once seeing a grown man in his 40’s get so angry that he lost Monopoly that he picked up the game board and tossed it across the room, while everyone looked on in horror. If they can’t win, they will ruin the game for everyone else.

8. They have dark interests or like things that make most people uncomfortable.

satanist

Narcissists, especially high on the spectrum, walk on the dark side and this shows in their obsession with things like the occult, mass murderers, the Holocaust, or weapons. They may listen to dark music such as death metal or watch slasher movies. Many people are interested in these things, but a malignant narcissist or psychopath, even if they put on a mask of being an upstanding moral citizen, usually have a secret hobby or interest in something dark or evil. They may not talk about it in public, but they have one.

9. They can’t let nature take its course.

facelift

If a woman has had an excess of cosmetic surgery including too many facelifts, she is probably a somatic narcissist living in mortal fear of aging.

10. They have an affected way of speaking.

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Dahhhh-ling, this can manifest as a fake foreign accent, or just a speaking voice that sounds fake and affected, as if they are acting on a stage. It comes off to others as more annoying than glamorous though.

11. They use exaggerated mannerisms, facial expressions, or speaking voice.

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Like actors in silent movies, who used exaggerated expressions and mannerisms to make up for fact they couldn’t speak in those films, some narcissists (probably because they can’t feel emotions the way normal people can) overact to the point of being rather hilarious. This is also common in people with Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD), another Cluster B disorder that’s been speculated by some experts on personality disorders to be a somatic form of narcissism and is far more common in women.

12. They have conversations with themselves.

talking_to_yourself

I’ve heard many a narcissist talk to themselves–and actually answer themselves back. Does this mean they are insane? Do they hear voices in their heads? Or are they practicing what they might say to someone in a hypothetical conversation ahead of time (remember, everything they do is fake, so they might have to pre-plan how they will respond to others in advance). Who knows? I just know it’s weird as fck. My ex used to do this all the time–in front of a mirror too.

Also see 5 More Weird Things You Might See Narcissists Do.

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About luckyotter

Recovering from BPD and C-PTSD due to narcissistic abuse from childhood. Married to a sociopath for 20 years. Proud INFJ, Enneagram type 4w5. Animal lover, music lover, cat mom, unapologetic geek, fan of the absurd, progressive Catholic, mom to 2, mental illness stigma activist, anti-Trumper. #RESISTANCE
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34 Responses to 12 weird things you might see a narcissist do.

  1. “They can’t let nature take it’s course.” That’s a good one! I’ve noticed lots of fear of aging in narcs. Sometimes they mock older people and act disgusted and sometimes they are big on plastic surgery or obsessively going to the gym.

    Liked by 1 person

    • luckyotter says:

      My mother is like that. She is quite old now though herself and the facelifts aren’t doing much for her anymore. I think she gave up. She still goes to the gym though as far as I know.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Joan S says:

    These are creepy. I agree. I swear their eyeballs could just fall out.

    Liked by 1 person

    • luckyotter says:

      These really are some of the creepier things about them. I really think they are insane.

      Like

      • imsetfree82 says:

        I do too. I wonder if it is a need for validation due to life experiences though? Sometimes its as though I nEed to remind people of my experiences because my mind often doubts itself and I’ve been told so often by my abuser and others that I’m just attention seeking or faking. Its like nothing that has happened to me feels real unless it is validated externally. I just want to feel real and my brain stop second guessing itself

        Liked by 1 person

  3. safirefalcon says:

    I’m gonna admit that sometimes I read these to see if any fit me. One thing here fits: I relate back to something that happened to me. Hopefully after I acknowledge the thing about the other person though. However I don’t do that Bon Voyage guess where I’m going though.

    And a big LOL at “Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.” 😀

    Liked by 6 people

    • luckyotter says:

      Don’t worry, IB. the “narcissist cards” one fits me too. I catch myself doing that ALL THE TIME. It’s a really bad habit.

      Liked by 1 person

    • danquality says:

      i do the same thing. i don’t do it in a competitive way, though. i do it simply to add to the conversation. admitting the fact that you do it is a good thing 🙂

      Liked by 3 people

      • luckyotter says:

        I think a lot of people do this. Most of us probably have one or two of these traits, that doesn’t make us narcissists. Narcissists would have a lot of them and also fit the psychological criteria in the DSM.
        Another one I do a lot is talk to myself. Sometimes I answer myself too. *red face*

        The only one that would DEFINITELY indicate a malignant narc or a psychopath is the flat, dead eyes. Even non-blinking can occasionally be seen in non-narcs or those lower on the spectrum.

        Like

      • safirefalcon says:

        Yeah, I’m not trying to one up when I do it. It’s more like trying to relate and saying “I understand”

        Liked by 2 people

  4. They seem to lead double lives and they do whatever they want. They don’t care who they hurt. They feel entitled and they are so arrogant.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. loricarlson66 says:

    Reblogged this on The Rattling Bones and commented:
    I lived with this for 13 years… there’s truth in every one of these

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Liberty says:

    Incredible – the very first ‘red flag’ my ex waved, even before we lived together, was when he threw the Monopoly board and all the bits across the room in a rage because he didnt win the game.
    I was stunned and horrified.
    He was only 29, not in his 40s, but still rather old to be so amazingly childish. One of the biggest regrets in my life was not turfing him out there and then, never to darken my door ever again. Instead, I put up with that shit for the next 20 years.
    Damn. 😦

    Liked by 2 people

  7. luckyotter says:

    Reblogged this on Lucky Otter's Haven and commented:

    It’s been several months since I posted this and since I haven’t written anything new about narcissism in a few days (I’m a little burned out on narcissism right now, to be perfectly honest but I’m sure that’s temporary), I thought I’d repost this one since it seems to be getting some traction and it’s also one of my favorite posts.
    Be sure to also click on the link at the bottom of the article (5 More Weird Things You Might See a Narcissist Do).

    Like

  8. nowve666 says:

    Why didn’t you just link to this page from Facebook instead of having part of it repeated and then linking back here? Anyway, I am 8 to a “t” as I’m sure you know and would be 9 if I could afford it. It’s good enough for Judge Judy, it’s good enough for me. BTW, what personality disorder do you think she has?

    Liked by 1 person

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  10. Ez Louise says:

    Omg I’ve just broken up with a 24yr old man *cant exactly call him a man, he is childlike… who suffers PTSD from a car accident on the gold coast and every one of these points is him!! He cannot even handle the thought that I dumped him and always speaks like he is better than he actually is. He claims to be smarter, more talented and frankly very snobbish to me very openly and to everyone else they only see glimpses. its very disturbing!! He has that dark death stare and has also been diagnosed with psychosis, when I first dumped him, he was extremely obsessive and he tried to weave his way back in and I agreed to help him as he threatened suicide, but Glad to be free, but the lies he spins about me to his friends are frustrating but the more stories he tells the more silly he looks. One thing that gave ne chills is point number ten, he talks in different accents from around the world when he answers the phone. I find that psychotic!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • luckyotter says:

      You’re better off without him, obviously. He was diagnoaed with only PTSD? I can’t diagnose him of course, but it sounds like more than PTSD…although I think personality disorders usually begin as PTSD and are complications that arise from unresolved trauma.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. brandy says:

    Well when my mom gets caught in a lie she fumbles with her hands and puts them over her mouth. Or rubs her nose. And her eyes shift a lot. One time she burnt a hole in my new carpet and offered to sweep. Right away I knew something was wrong, she never offers to help. I understand how everyone of you feel.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Eneya says:

    If you are slightly-different-than-average-you-are-a-narcisist… apparently. The only weirder comment than the occult is the reference to death metal. I get that it is not ONLY but in context but… damn, I am tired of this stereotype.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Mine screamed loud in the morning to wake me out of a deep sleep. When I woke up scared and shaking he laughed. He thought that was funny. I thought that was extremely weird and sadistic.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Kitty says:

    My ex narc husband was obsessed with serial killers. Had all the books on famous serial killers. He also was obsessed with slasher movies and dark metal music( from Norway and other places where the music of that type is so dark ) He also was in to devil worshipping. I discovered this after we were married and got the heck out of the marriage after a few years.

    Liked by 3 people

    • luckyotter says:

      My ex was like that. He brought home paintings of demons for the living room. :/

      Liked by 1 person

      • My recently ex-boyfriend is obsessed with serial killers. I stopped going to see him at his appartment sometime back in July because I couldn’t stand hearing the sounds of women scream while being murdered on TV through the night. I also didn’t want to inhale all the cigerette smoke in the air. I told him that these things bothered me, but nothing changed. So to fix the problem I decided to never go back there again and have him come to my house where I could have him leave before midnight and I had control of the TV remote.

        We are still in the band together. But we ended the romantic relationship. We are now only friends as musicians. We compose songs together. He’s devastated over the breakup. But honestly, I just couldn’t revolve around someone else’s needs. I felt the need to explore and nurture myself.

        Liked by 1 person

        • luckyotter says:

          That’s good you two can remain friends, for the sake of the band. It will take him some time to get over it and it he’s a narcissist he might start trying to hoover you back in so be careful.

          Liked by 1 person

          • I hope we can continue to write and play music together. He is now teaching me how to play all the heavy metal and leads on the songs we wrote. I learned how to play the intro to the song I’m going to share with you soon. I learned the shredding and the tremolo part. All the really fun guitar stuff I always wanted to pkay iike men play. Im learning that.

            Like

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