“Why Crazy People Make Better Bloggers”

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I know my blog can get pretty crazy sometimes. I’ve made no bones about my struggles with several mental disorders, my disastrous marriage to a psychopath, my history as an hypersensitive head-banging, hair-chewing child-dartboard, my early-adulthood stint with Scientology, my current poverty, my own narcissistic tendencies, my somewhat offbeat religio-political views, my unpopular opinions, and my tendency to be a socially awkward underachiever, among other delicate, controversial, and sometimes embarrassing things most people wouldn’t tell their second-best friend (or maybe not even their best friend).

I’ve gotten a lot more comfortable posting things about myself that are extremely personal or potentially embarrassing, knowing full well that thousands of strangers all over the world know things about me even my own children don’t know. I call this “running naked in public.” It’s liberating once you get used to it. (Of course it helps that I use an assumed name, not my real one). I feel like being this honest has made this blog more interesting than if I just posted my latest cookie recipe or about how to grow healthier backyard tomatoes. I feel like sometimes my most controversial, crazy, and strange posts become my most popular posts, just because they’re controversial, crazy and strange.

I don’t write those posts to be popular or cool though. I write them because I’m a strange and difficult person with a strange and difficult life. Maybe this blog gets so many views as a kind of online rubbernecking–“Hey, let’s find out what that weird borderline cat lady who thought she was an Aspie but really isn’t and who obsesses about narcissists and psychopaths and is afraid of relationships is doing today” or “Let’s see if that crazy woman who does exhibitionist self-therapy online and treats it like performance art has had any new ‘breakthroughs’ today.”

Or maybe it’s because somehow my brutal honesty about my personal life and recovery and my…well, overall weirdness somehow resonates with people and provides a voice for others who feel the same way as I do but don’t dare say it in public. Sometimes I wonder why people read this blog, but really, it doesn’t matter why if people like reading it, does it?

So I have to post this article I just saw at Forbes.com, because it sums up why weird and crazy blogs like mine tend to do pretty well.

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Why Crazy People Make Better Bloggers
By Susannah Breslin, for Forbes

“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently …” — Steve Jobs

Crazy people make better bloggers.

Heather Armstrong parlayed postpartum depression and a stint in a mental institution into a cash cow blog.

Penelope Trunk grew her blog to over 750,000 page views last month as someone willing to write about stabbing herself in the head, smashing herself in the head with a lamp, and having a miscarriage during a board meeting while dispensing career advice.

James Altucher shares with his blog readers a history of suicidal ideation, depression, and going broke with a manic frenzy that inspires others to buy his books.

In the Forever Recession, we are all entrepreneurs, and everybody knows the best entrepreneurs are crazy.

1. We’ll say what you won’t.

I started blogging in 2002. Over the years, as a blogger and journalist, I’ve written about developing PTSD, the time I wanted to kill myself, and why I loved writing about the adult movie industry. After I got downsized, anyone who Googled me about a job I had applied for could find these stories online. This probably didn’t help my chances of getting a job. It’s probably part of what led me to conclude I’m unemployable.

But that I had been working and living outside of the box for so long — bending the rules or refusing to admit they existed — is what helped me go from unemployed to self-employed in a matter of months.

I used to be on TV. Being on TV can be stressful. You have no idea what’s going to happen, and there are cameras recording whatever does. After one of my first TV gigs, I was driving home on a Los Angeles freeway. I was vibrating from the stress of what I had done, and I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Was what I had done good or bad? That’s when I decided it didn’t matter. I decided what did matter was that I was brave. I hold that true to this day. I don’t want to be a coward.

Read the rest of this post here.

Fore more about crazy blogging, please see my article, Crazy Ride.

12 weird things you might see a narcissist do.

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There are some strange things I’ve noticed narcissists do that aren’t usually mentioned as symptoms of their disorder, but seem to be common enough perhaps they should be included as additional criteria for NPD.

If you know someone who does only one or two of these things, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re a narc, but if they do several of them regularly and also seem to fit the more well-known criteria for NPD, these things could be red flags to watch out for.

1. They don’t blink when they look at you.

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Some narcs have a penetrating, predatory gaze. If a person of the opposite sex looks at you this way, you may take it as sexual interest (and it could be), but watch carefully: if they do not blink this could mean they are sizing you up as prey. Whether they blink or not, if their stare makes you squirm, get away. Listen to your instincts.

2. They interrupt you or talk over you constantly.

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If someone only seems to care about what they are going to say next, and don’t even seem to have heard what you said, suspect a narcissist.

3. Whatever you tell them is really all about them.

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If you say something to them about yourself, rather than acknowledge you, instead they always relate it to back something that happened to them. The Roz Chast cartoon above illustrates that well. You do not exist.

4. Their eyes look flat or dead.

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This is a “dead” giveaway and those eyes usually belong to someone high on the spectrum–a malignant narcissist or a psychopath. Get away from this person. The above photo of psychopathic murderer Jodi Arias shows how flat and dead their eyes can look.

5. They sometimes act psychotic.

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All malignant narcissists are bat shit crazy, and their delusions can rival those of someone with schizophrenia. In fact, narcissists denied supply over long periods of time or who have suffered a severe loss can in fact become psychotic. Schizophrenic-like neologisms and nonsensical conversation that sounds like word salad isn’t that uncommon in a malignant narcissist living in mortal fear of losing their “mask of sanity.”

6. They have dramatic, unsettling mood swings.

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Narcissist mood swings (mask switching) can be so sudden and inexplicable you may think you’re dealing with someone with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). For example, a narcissist mother can seem to be happily playing with her child and suddenly, for no discernable reason, start screaming at or hitting the child.

7. They are bad sports.

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They will act like babies if they lose a game. I remember once seeing a grown man in his 40’s get so angry that he lost Monopoly that he picked up the game board and tossed it across the room, while everyone looked on in horror. If they can’t win, they will ruin the game for everyone else.

8. They have dark interests or like things that make most people uncomfortable.

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Narcissists, especially high on the spectrum, walk on the dark side and this shows in their obsession with things like the occult, mass murderers, the Holocaust, or weapons. They may listen to dark music such as death metal or watch slasher movies. Many people are interested in these things, but a malignant narcissist or psychopath, even if they put on a mask of being an upstanding moral citizen, usually have a secret hobby or interest in something dark or evil. They may not talk about it in public, but they have one.

9. They can’t let nature take its course.

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If a woman has had an excess of cosmetic surgery including too many facelifts, she is probably a somatic narcissist living in mortal fear of aging.

10. They have an affected way of speaking.

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Dahhhh-ling, this can manifest as a fake foreign accent, or just a speaking voice that sounds fake and affected, as if they are acting on a stage. It comes off to others as more annoying than glamorous though.

11. They use exaggerated mannerisms, facial expressions, or speaking voice.

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Like actors in silent movies, who used exaggerated expressions and mannerisms to make up for fact they couldn’t speak in those films, some narcissists (probably because they can’t feel emotions the way normal people can) overact to the point of being rather hilarious. This is also common in people with Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD), another Cluster B disorder that’s been speculated by some experts on personality disorders to be a somatic form of narcissism and is far more common in women.

12. They have conversations with themselves.

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I’ve heard many a narcissist talk to themselves–and actually answer themselves back. Does this mean they are insane? Do they hear voices in their heads? Or are they practicing what they might say to someone in a hypothetical conversation ahead of time (remember, everything they do is fake, so they might have to pre-plan how they will respond to others in advance). Who knows? I just know it’s weird as fck. My ex used to do this all the time–in front of a mirror too.

Also see 5 More Weird Things You Might See Narcissists Do.

Laughing for no reason.

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Click to enlarge.

I do this all the time. Does that mean I’m crazy?

Insanity, interrupted.

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Click to enlarge. Thanks to Lidija Rankelovska for this

Albert Einstein, brilliant physicist, philosopher, and fellow Aspie, had so many great quotes. One of his best is this:

The definition of insanity is doing something over and over again and expecting a different result.

If you keep allowing your narcissist to continue to play their crazymaking mind games, f*ck with your head, gaslight you, triangulate against you, physically abuse you, steal from you, judge you, isolate you, lie to and about you, project their own character defects onto you; tell you how you should dress, behave and look; refuse to listen to you, insult you, condescend to you, hoover you, love bomb you, use you as a neverending source of narcissistic supply, and ultimately try to destroy you–and you keep listening to their lies and phony promises that they will change, and you keep giving them a second and third and fourth and one hundredth chance, then that is insanity.

Stop the insanity. Leave your narcissist or do what you can to get them to leave. Don’t listen to their lies and don’t believe their fake “apologies.”

Don’t be drawn into their death-spiral of evil and soul-destruction. Their intent is to annihilate themselves and take you with them.