On political correctness and the inevitability of offending people

politicalcorrectness

Blogging isn’t all fun and games. Sometimes it can be a real challenge. I’m beginning to experience a few of these challenges for the first time and at times I even feel like I’m possibly in over my head.

As this blog has grown and become more visible, I’m beginning to face a few of the problems that most blogs and websites are eventually faced with if the subject they focus on has even the slightest potential to be construed as offensive or controversial and the website remains publicly accessible.

A few days ago, a blogger who suffers from Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID, formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder or MPD) called me out for giving outdated and incorrect information about DID. I do not follow this blog, but the admin was very upset about one of my posts, which no longer exists on this blog. In addition to giving outdated information, I referred to their personalities as “fragmented” instead of entire personalities within the same person that are known as “alters.”

Not being very confrontational and not caring much about that particular post anyway (it wasn’t one of my best and I admit I did not have current information about DID), it was easier to just delete it and not have to go head to head with someone over a post I didn’t even care much about.

Today I found a trackback in my comments folder to an article this same blogger wrote where I was again called out for giving misinformation. I have also been criticized by this person for having a joke page about people with NPD and for writing about a disorder that I do not myself have.

As for the jokes: my intention was never to offend anyone, including people with NPD or any other mental or personality disorder. I put up the joke page not to enrage people with NPD but as a tool we victims of narcissistic abuse can use to lighten our moods. When we read jokes about the types of people who have been abusing us, it makes them seem less threatening and therefore easier to deal with. Personally I’ve always believed laughter is medicine and when we can laugh at what is hurting us, that thing ceases to have so much power over us. Besides, most of the jokes aren’t even my own. They are links to other websites and pages or copies of cartoons other people have made. I think only the “12 Steps of Narcissism” one is my own.

Our MNs and psychopaths have hurt us so often and so badly that sometimes it just feels good to be able to laugh at them (instead of the other way around, which has often been our experience with them). This isn’t to make light of this devastating disorder or to demonize them. I do not hate narcissists, I feel sorry for them.

It may surprise some, but I actually have a great deal of empathy for people with NPD who want to change or who suffer due to their disorder. Those who are aware of their disorder suffer enormously in ways we, as people who do not have NPD, cannot even begin to imagine. As much as they may seem like machines or robots or devils to us, they are still human beings and as some of us have seen for ourselves in the past week right here in this blog, they have very sensitive feelings and do not take jokes at their expense well.

I have said before that I will welcome any narcissist who has enough insight to write honestly about their disorder and/or who is in pain because of it or who wants help. Two days ago I received an email from one that made me cry because I was so happy she was seeking help. So I do care about them. I cannot help them here and am certainly not qualified to give psychological advice to them but I can possibly help point them in the right direction to get help. I do not hate narcissists. I hate what they do and the way they act. But this blog is not intended to help narcissists, even though they may come here. It’s intended to help those of us who have been targets of their actions.

I do not believe in political correctness, at least not when it’s taken to ridiculous extremes the way it sometimes is. We live in such a litigious society and almost everything can be construed as offensive. It can get pretty ridiculous. Of course this doesn’t mean I’m going to go around using racial slurs or make sexist remarks. I’m not going to say you’re deluded or mentally deficient or a bad person because of your religion, sexual orientation, or political affiliation. That’s not cool and pretty much anyone with an iota of respect for others will avoid saying those things.

politicalcorrectness2

As for this blogger’s opinion that I am not qualified to write about NPD because I do not have NPD myself, I call bullshit on that. How many people who have NPD are writing about NPD? Sam Vaknin, and that’s about it. Is only he and mental health professionals allowed to write about NPD? I feel that, having been very close to several malignant narcissists in my lifetime, gives me a unique perspective on the disorder different from that of a sufferer or a mental health professional and makes me every bit as qualified to write about it. There are many of us who write about NPD, a whole community of us, and we are finding healing by writing about what was done to us and how to cope with the narcissists in our lives. For some of us who are still in an abusive relationship with a narc, or who can’t afford therapy, writing about it is the only hope we have.

So I’m also not going to allow one disgruntled blogger (in this case, one who doesn’t even suffer from NPD) to make me fear speaking my mind or keep me from sharing my opinions on a blog that is meant primarily as a form of self-therapy and support for others who have experienced similar situations with their narcissists. I am going to remain completely honest on this blog, about my thoughts, opinions and feelings. Not everyone who reads them is going to like what I have to say, or agree with it. But if I start censoring what I say for fear of offending someone, then this blog ceases to be the haven of honesty and I will have sold out. And selling out is something I simply will not do.

This is my blog, and these are my feelings, and I will continue to write whatever I want about narcissists for as long as the topic is of interest to me. Again, what I write is not intended to offend those with NPD or any other disorder. It’s intended to help US, the victims of abuse. In the process a few toes will be stepped on, and that’s just the way it is.

I will never set this blog up where you will be required to sign in to read posts. I can’t stand that and will usually bypass a website that requires me to sign in. That said, I am beginning to understand why some website owners and bloggers require people to sign in with a password, especially if it’s a topic that is controversial or sensitive. I hope I never have to do that.

I looked to see if I could make the “jokes” page semi-private (where only my followers could see it) but unfortunately there is no way I can do that. I could make it password-protected, but anyone who wanted to read the jokes would have to know the password and that’s simply too difficult to do, so for now, I will leave the page up as a publicly accessible page. Most people have told me they don’t mind the jokes and even find them helpful in making the narcissist seem less dangerous in their minds.

It’s hard for me when I get negative feedback or someone takes offense to something I said. It’s scary as a fairly new blogger whose blog is growing so fast and becoming visible much quicker than I thought it would. But it’s something that I will need to learn to deal with and get used to. No matter how politically correct you try to be, someone is always going to find something to be offended about, especially on a blog that focuses on such a sensitive subject as mental illness and abuse.

Please provide feedback. I would like to hear your thoughts.

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About luckyotter

This blog is my journal. I just choose to share it with the world instead of keeping everything inside my head. I'm a recovering Borderline and have also struggled with Avoidant Personality Disorder. I also have Complex PTSD due to having been the victim of narcissistic abuse for most of my life. I write mostly about narcissism, because I was the child of a narcissistic mother, and then married to a sociopathic malignant narcissist for 20 years. But there's a silver lining too. In some ways they taught me about myself. This blog is about all that. Not all my articles will be about NPD, BPD or other personality disorders or mental conditions. I pretty much write about whatever's on my mind at the moment. So there's something for everyone here. Blogging about stuff is crack for my soul. It's self therapy, and hopefully my insights and observations may help others too.
This entry was posted in Blogging, blogs, narcissism writers, offending people, political correctness, writing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

66 Responses to On political correctness and the inevitability of offending people

  1. Pete says:

    Being offensive to people is wrong but today what constitutes PC, is consideration for others gone amok! If you write what you feel as long as it is the (truth), than it should not hurt or offend any ‘intelligent’ man, woman or child. I have had commentssent to me that made me want to pull out my 44 magnum and shoot the person who wrote it, but instead I made sure it appeared in the comments section.
    I believe in freedom of speech…… even if it hurts.

    Liked by 3 people

    • luckyotter says:

      I know how you feel! I don’t know about the pulling out a 44 magnum thing LOL but it sure can be frustrating and maddening.
      You are always going to offend someone whenever you’re honest about your feelings. It’s just a hazard of the trade, so to speak. We can’t allow negativity to get to us or stop us from writing what we feel or continuing our mission to educate and enlighten.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Pete says:

        Sorry about the 44 remark, but for me in the wilderness of Alaska it is part of my daily life and always at my side. I also do not know that I write to enlighten because of my lack of higher education. However I do write how I feel about what I observe that aggravates, amuses or enlightens me… If others read it and get something from my insight thats fine, if no one reads it thats fine also but it will not stop me from writing what I consider my ‘wilderness’ therapy.

        Liked by 1 person

        • luckyotter says:

          Oh hey, I was not offended by the 44 magnum remark at all, in fact it made me spew my drink all over my keyboard.
          Keep on keeping on with your “wilderness” therapy!

          Like

  2. Joan S says:

    We have been hurt by narcissists all our lives. I do not feel you have anything to apologize for. Its a classic ACON trait to feel you have to feel badly about what you write, say whatever. Some people just like to go to blogs and cause trouble. I think they are bullying. Making you doubt yourself, and you know stuff about these things because of first hand growing up with it knowledge. That’s why you blog about it.

    Liked by 2 people

    • luckyotter says:

      Exactly. I am taking baby steps, learning to be more assertive and do what I want and say what I want without letting others intimidate me and turn me back into a little church mouse afraid of its own shadow.
      But taking the baby steps is hard when your blog is growing faster than you expected and suddenly it’s so damned visible. It’s a great and exciting thing and I’m very grateful for all the help I’ve been given, but it’s hella scary too! You start thinking about censoring yourself when you get your first trollish or critical remarks…but I have integrity and honesty and won’t let fear of criticism make me sell out or only write about non-offensive things. I don’t want a boring, inoffensive blog.

      Liked by 3 people

  3. LOL, hey, I am all about the offense! Offense is a way of life for me. I’d tell you the story of what happened to me when I first started blogging, but I have to protect some people’s privacy. Also it’s a pretty unbelievable story, so if I ever do get to tell the tale, nobody’s going to believe me anyway ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Don’t let the turkey’s get you down. Stand up for your right to have a voice. People will try to project their own crap onto you all the time. That doesn’t make you wrong, nor are you expected to be perfect at all times.

    Liked by 3 people

    • luckyotter says:

      Well said, IB! I’m not going to let those turkeys intimidate me. My days of being intimidated are over!

      I would LOVE to hear the story of what happened to you. Email me about it if you don’t want to post it here. I did see you got into it once with Godless Cranium (whose blog I think is awesome btw but I can see where you and him would not see eye to eye, lol)

      Like

    • Ooh ooh…Tell us!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. the person who is giving you crap sounds more like a Bully than anything, you are MORE than qualified to write about NPD, perhaps more so than mental health professionals as you have spent your whole life living with them, Heck sure crack jokes about Narcs and such it is okay to laugh and laughter in the face of who or what has caused so much pain IS Therapeutic, if that Bully keeps harassing you, let me know who it is and I’ll call ALL their personalities out on my Blog lol, serious though I will. Political Correctness has indeed gone too far and some folks try to use it to stomp out freedom of speech and to silence any thoughts or ideas they disagree with.

    Hang in there, keep doing what your doing, you have a fantastic blog and are a great help to many and educational to many more, don’t let someone silence you…..ever.

    Liked by 3 people

    • luckyotter says:

      People who have never lived with Narcs cannot begin to know the anger and hurt we have inside. That anger and pain needs to be let out. Writing is the best way to do that for introverts like me.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. safirefalcon says:

    Hm. Well first of all there are plenty of bloggers blogging about NPD who don’t have it but have been effected by it. Ladywithatruck, TheAbilitytoLove, there’s actually a blog with the title, “Narcissists Suck” over on blogspot. Kaleah LaRoche is a blogger, also with a podcast and she’s also a healing coach for people who have been abused by narcs. Vetteljus, AnUpturnedSoul, Let Me Reach. Man, there are so many people blogging about it.

    And then there’s all those YouTube videos out there from people talking about their experiences and not being especially nice about it either. It is seriously one hot topic.

    It’s hard to be sympathetic when in the heat of the anger. People with NPD tend to be toxic to those close to them and they really don’t have introspection so they cause a lot of pain emotionally if not physically. They will spin your head in so many directions you will not know which way is up by the time they are done with you. And I’m aware I don’t have to tell you that. ๐Ÿ™‚

    I found those that I mentioned above and quite a few others when I first started researching. I admit a lot of it was tough to read and listen to. I saw myself in some of those posts. I’m recently dx’d as BPD and although I’m empathic I do have traits that go with BPD. I’m also older with lots of past experience to look back on and have learned a lot. And because I’m older, I think I fell through a lot of cracks looking for help in the mental health world beginning in the mid 80s.

    That being said, I am well aware of where a lot of what people write about NPD comes from. Those abuse, including myself are all in a lot of pain, angry and traumatized. I am convinced the BPD traits I have are actually a result of the abuse I suffered growing up with a narcissistic father + a rather emotionally neglectful mother. What my father’s dx was I will never know as he would not go to therapy. But knowing what I know I would put him in the BPD category and on a weird part of the continuum since he had empathy at times and not at others. (I also think that it’s a myth that more women than men have BPD because it’s women that will go for the help and men generally don’t.)

    I do not think that BPD is an excuse to abuse. I have become more and more self aware as time goes on and I have lots of opinions on the way I think it works in my brain, why I have it and how my brain is wired to have BPD instead of say, DID or anything else. I also have anxiety and major depression.

    I don’t think any mental health issue should be made fun of and for the most part what I read about it by those sincerely working on themselves or trying to understand what happened to them or teaching by writing about experience, they are not making fun or light of it or those people.

    I do at times see digs at those with PDs from people most likely hurt by them. Like especially on YouTube, mean things tend to be said in the comments there. I understand the hurt but sometimes the bitterness can be a bit annoying when it’s so utterly blameful and obviously meant to get under the skin of those there to learn about their own disorder. But then I can admit those kinds of comments can hit home because although I’ve been hurt severely by abuse, I also know I’ve emotionally hurt people too.

    I didn’t read your post on DID so I can’t speak to that. But as I mentioned, when I started reading about narcissism/NPD, I read stuff that was tough to swallow because I realized I had behaved in some of those ways. But I’ve also made the decision that I can’t be offended by most of those things because those making those comments don’t know me or anything about me. Or if I am offended and if I find it pushes a button, I probably need to look at that and figure out why it upsets me.

    Everyone with a mental illness is different and the traits listed in the DSM for each one can manifest so differently in each person and some not at all. I don’t know. I guess as you said if you write publicly you run the risk of offending some people. And they have a right to their opinion too and to write about it.

    There’s no pleasing everyone but at the same time I also think that to be a responsible writer if that’s a goal, and that writer is writing about something as sensitive as mental illness, where stigma is rampant, then it probably involves a little more care than someone writing about the party they went to last night. Thing is there will always be those who disagree no matter what. And disagreements are fine in my book as well as the expression of them. But those expressions should be respectful and I thought the post you linked to fit that bill.

    I think disagreements are healthy and a good way to start discussion to learn from each other.

    Liked by 4 people

    • sonniq says:

      Really good points here. I know when I am on a rant, when I am pissed off about something I can get pretty sharp. I have a lack of tolerance for idiots and hypocrits.

      I will probably follow up on some of the bloggers you mentioned. I enjoy reading the blogs that other bloggers follow.. It has led to some great reads.

      Liked by 2 people

      • luckyotter says:

        All those blogs she mentioned are good ones. Most of them (among others) are in my blog roll (which is actually listed under my tab “Info and Support.” )
        There are so many blogs about narcissism. Narcissism is a thing right now. And for good reason.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Reblogged this on galesmind and commented:
    You have a bigger audience so naturally you will offend people here and there. I think on the whole your blog gets really positive comments. Perhaps you should concentrate on those. You help a lot of people too. If you get something wrong once in awhile so what? We all do. There is a follow button. If people like your blog they click it if not they pass. Write what you want. It is your blog. I for one enjoy it a lot and have learned a lot from it too.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Your blog, your voice, your rules. Seeing as you do write about some touchy subjects you are unfortunately bound to offend a certain number of persons, unintentional as it may be. As long as you believe in what you say then keep saying it.

    Liked by 2 people

    • luckyotter says:

      “Touchy subject” is my middle name. As an Aspie who tends to gravitate to serious, deep subjects instead of frivolous ones (although there are plenty of off topic, fluff posts in this blog too) I am fascinated by touchy subjects and mental illness in particular, especially narcissism and the mental disorders if tends to cause in its victims.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. sonniq says:

    Never apologize for anything you want to say, especially when it wasn’t written to be offensive. it seems like this person who has had far too much to say about, has a bit of a mental disorder beyond whatever her current problems are. She could state her opinion about what you wrote. You could say thank and you’ll do more research on it and that could be the end of it. But she couldn’t do it because she had to jump on a platform. I, too, hate all this politically correct crap where you have to be afraid of offending someone. I say what I want. I don’t drag any one person into it. ( unless it is family, and they deserve it!) i agree with your last statement. it’s a good way to start a conversation.

    On a different note, what I see so much of here and it really seems so pointless is to leave a comment and only say, “Great Blog” or some other two line sentence. I was amused to see that this is what the new assignment from blogging 101 is about today. Otherwise, what’s the point of having along list of comments where no one has anything real to say. Just “like” the blog if that is all you can do.

    Liked by 1 person

    • luckyotter says:

      I actualy started off pointing out to this blogger my disclaimer, and admitted I was not up to date about DID (which I called MPD). He/she wasn’t satisfied with that though, and now has called me out in this blog post, which is fine because that person has as much right to write about whatever they want as I do, even if it offends. (actually I’m not that offended).

      PC-ness has gone way too far these days. You have walk around afraid to say anything because oooooohhhh someone might be offended! OH NOES!

      LOL I hate those one or two word replies like “great blog.” You KNOW they haven’t read your post, probably just liked it from “Reader” and added that. Or it’s spam. Ever notice how many spam comments say “great blog” but make no indication it knows what you were writing about?

      Like

  9. sexysandwich says:

    Reblogged this on sexysandwich and commented:
    “almost everything can be construed as offensive” completely true. once somebody on a separate site got offended because my original character is chubby. >: |

    Liked by 1 person

    • luckyotter says:

      That’s ridiculous. Did they think you were hating on fat people because of the chubby character? I guess it’s better to not give a character any physical characteristics at all. If they have blonde hair, blondes might get offended!

      Like

  10. Reblogged this on HarsH ReaLiTy and commented:
    Welcome to the real blogging world! ๐Ÿ™‚ -OM
    Note: Comments disabled here, please comment on their post.

    Liked by 3 people

  11. I appreciate your voice and your post speaks volumes to me on this very personal issue that I am still learning to find my own voice about. Am glad to that OM reblogged this so I could follow you. I agree with you on the humour thing…having a sense of humour is absolutely vital to the healing process for me personally.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Your article is interesting. You have expressed yourself …that,s what blogging is for. I only knw this much…that writing helps in healing yourself.,and may be, many more who read it. I want to read authentic stuff about NPD. Could you please suggest some sites?i can only share my experience…all of us are victims of some nightmarish experiences in life and those of us who feel healed by writing are mature enough to take a remark as just a passing cloud in the vast expanse of an individual’s personality and let it go. God bless you all and keep writing with the heart and keep listening with the heart as and when you write or read other’s write ups. I may get some idea about this article once I know something about NPD..I will surely share it with all.

    Liked by 1 person

    • luckyotter says:

      Thank you for your kind remarks and thank you for reading my blog too.

      Authentic stuff about NPD? Can you be more specific what you mean by authentic? If you mean writings about NPD by someone who has NPD I would suggest the writings of Sam Vaknin, especially his book “Malignant Self Love” which is quite good but I haven’t quite finished (it is very long). There are also many books about the disorder and related disorders by doctors and psychologists. “People of the Lie” by M. Scott Peck is probably my favorite; “Without Conscience” by Robert Hare is also very good, as well as any of the books written by Dr. George K. Simon, who also has a very good blog, “Manipulative People.” There are many others too.

      You can click on the “Info and Support” tab in my header and that will give you even more suggestions. There are also many great blogs by survivors too.

      Liked by 1 person

    • luckyotter says:

      You can also Google “narcissistic personality disorder” to find out what the clinical criteria is. There are 9 criteria listed in the DSM–these are listed on Wikipedia.

      Like

  13. where do I get to read the article about NPD that has been found offensive? I would like to read it.

    Like

    • luckyotter says:

      It wasn’t really about NPD, it was a comparison of NPD and MPD (DID) that has been deleted. The information it contained was outdated. The blogger who was offended was objecting mainly to what he/she felt was my misrepresentation of DID and the fact I dared to write about narcissism without actually having NPD. Sorry, the blog post is gone.

      Like

  14. You already moderate your comments, so just leave off the nasty ones. I get hate mail and comments from fat haters on my blog. I suppose with time I got a thick skin but I know it can feel scary as a new blogger to have people put you down or say “You’re wrong”. I’ve had people massively diss me on other websites. I got major heat on the Sedaris article.

    I am not politically correct and don’t even believe in PC rules on many matters though I don’t want to hurt people, sometimes just simply stating a belief will upset some.

    http://fivehundredpoundpeeps.blogspot.com/2012/09/standing-up-for-ones-beliefs.html

    Liked by 1 person

    • The best way to deal is to ignore the mean posters. We can’t make everyone happy and won’t. Aspies often face that thing of telling the truth and well we aren’t always liked for that either.

      Liked by 3 people

    • luckyotter says:

      That’s encouraging. I knew it was just a matter of time before I got some ‘haters’ and that’s okay. You really got heat over the Sedaris article? I read that post, and I always enjoyed David Sedaris’ writing, but after reading those arrogant and compassionless comments about his poor deceased sister Tiffany, I decided I don’t think I like him that much anymore. She was definitely the scapegoat of that family.

      Like

  15. People are going to get offended by what others say, unfortunately. It’s worse for someone to have their space for healing invaded by someone who is throwing around statements without doing further investigation. I know I’ve met people on the Internet that have rubbed me the wrong way, but I try to lay off unless I keep seeing the same thing over and over again.

    And I know I’ve offended people too. The bottom line is that you can’t stop someone from being offended. All you can do is what you need to do to help yourself. This person is throwing away an opportunity for understanding, reacting angrily over something that was an honest mistake. You’ve done all you can do to remedy the error; now whatever this person does is done purely out of spite.

    Liked by 1 person

    • luckyotter says:

      I have probably made one or two offensive comments on other people’s blogs if I disagreed with them. None of us are perfect.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Plus, being offended is no real yardstick for whether or not something should or shouldn’t be said. All it means is that a person doesn’t like what was said. If this person was more interested in understanding (rather than punishing someone), he or she should have had a dialogue about it.

        Added to that, a lot of people blog about mental illness. Stigma is real, but so is the need to heal from wounds. Mental illness and abuse survivor blogs aren’t a pissing contest to see who has suffered the most; they are a means by which people are trying to find a way to overcome that which has wounded them.

        And really, that’s the most unfortunate thing here. This other blogger has closed off an avenue for understanding because there was a disagreement with a single post. It sounds like no one can help this person.

        You hang in there. Keep at your blog. You’re doing fine.

        Liked by 1 person

        • luckyotter says:

          Thank you. Fear of stigmatizing a group of people (in my case people with NPD) shouldn’t keep us from trying to heal ourselves by blogging about what those people have done to us. It doesn’t mean we hate them. Hate the sin, love the sinner, is my motto. Of course there are individuals with NPD i do hate, but as a group of disordered people, I actually have compassion for them.

          I agree that blogger has closed off an avenue for understanding just because of one post. Oh well, their loss.

          Liked by 1 person

        • safirefalcon says:

          Just wanted to let you know I love this:

          “Mental illness and abuse survivor blogs arenโ€™t a pissing contest to see who has suffered the most; they are a means by which people are trying to find a way to overcome that which has wounded them.”

          Perfectly worded.

          Liked by 3 people

  16. Prajakta says:

    Excellent perspective! It all does come down to freedom of expression in the end. We either sit tight with our hands folded with political correctness or ruffle a few feathers. And who says even political correctness will please everyone!
    Your blog, your voice, your thoughts. We all have our own here! We write to expresss and NOT impress.
    ~ Stopping over from OM. Thanks to him, I have really found some excellent blogs ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • luckyotter says:

      OM has been so helpful to new bloggers and helping them gain visibility. He always talks about how many people think his blog is offensive, but look how popular he is and he has something like 50K followers now.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Ruth2Day says:

    sadly it comes down to suck it up and ignore. When you put yourself out there you have to accept not every body will agree with you, and that’s fine. Equally you are entitled to write about whatever you like and those that read it have to respect your point of view and not get all antsy-pantsy – don’t be put off, keep at it ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  18. It’s difficult not to offend somebody with even the most inoffensive remark. I once quipped in one of my books that my mc ‘was no dwarf’ meaning he was a big guy. I was called out for being offensive to dwarfs. As if dwarfs might be shorter than average but we aren’t allowed to mention it. As if they might not have noticed this fact and be hurt.

    Like

  19. adamjasonp says:

    The administrator of the other blog liked to profess how right he/she is, but misunderstood so much of your content.

    โ€œPolitical correctness is tyranny with manners.โ€โ€”Charlton Heston. What manners? I hear whining when I hear political correctness. Itโ€™s so intolerant how it lacks a sense of humor. (Language will never be perfect; get over it!)

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Tricia says:

    Amen and good for you sister! Keep up the good work and blogging to your heart’s content, you’ve done nothing wrong. What that person was upset with you about seems ridiculous.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. lewar1 says:

    I did not read the articles, but as a general rule it is next to impossible to live your live and not offend others, one way or the other. Everyone won’t love and celebrate your work or your deeds. I think if you come from a pure place inside, then you are good. Put it this way “if John walks up to Paul and says: Paul you are a loser… what is important is not what John says to Paul, but what Paul says to “Paul” after John is gone.

    Liked by 2 people

  22. Alaina says:

    Oh my goodness, this post is absolutely brilliant! And the comments are beautiful, so uplifting and encouraging! Reading this post and all these comments has done me a world of good.

    I wish I could read your deleted post about DID/MPD. My father was diagnosed with Multiple Personality Disorder back in the 1960s, before the name was changed to DID. You know the saying that a rose by any other name will smell just as sweet? Believe me, a skunk by any other name smells just as stinky. Growing up with a parent who had several completely different personalities was extremely crazy-making. At least one of my dad’s personality “fragments” or “alters” or whatever you want to call it was a Malignant Narcissist.The hell he put me through…. whew. But my mother was even more abusive than my dad, and she only had just one personality, as far as I know… Malignant Narc, concealed beneath a veneer of holier-than-thou rabid religiousity, sprinkled with extremely rare, very short-lived flashes of *almost* having a conscience. A real mind bender, she is.

    The comment someone made about this not being a pissing contest to see who has suffered the most, is right on the mark. I’ve been accused of that, in so many words, on a couple of forums in the past. What am I supposed to do, apologize for having two insane parents when others may have only had one?

    I’m glad you’re writing this blog. You are doing an excellent job, in my humble opinion. I am so “overly sensitive” to psychos, trolls, and haters that I disabled comments on my blog awhile back. This past year has been a tough one for me and my immediate family so at least for right now, I need to take care of me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • luckyotter says:

      That must have been very hard for you to deal with. I am sure an “alter” personality in someone with DID could be a malignant narcissist. Another one might be a victim or an empath. It’s a fascinating disorder due to one person having two or more alters that interchange but I dare not write too much more about it since I am not up to date on all the changes. I don’t want to continue to get flamed by “spreading misinformation.”
      Thank you too for your encouraging and kind remarks. ๐Ÿ™‚
      Taking care of you is the most important thing right now.

      Liked by 1 person

  23. Pingback: On Political Correctness, Otters, The People Who Blindly Follow Them, And The Harm They Cause | Seeing Plural

    • luckyotter says:

      I am only posting this pingback to this blogger’s latest article about me to show the way this person is trying to continue this flame war. I really don’t understand why. I really want to put it to rest. I’ve said several times my intention is not to offend anyone but to help lighten our load, as victims. If this person is so offended by the NPD jokes, why are they reading this blog? This blogger also knows nothing about what we victims have gone through and really has no right to pass judgment this way. You don’t see me going over to their blog starting flame wars.
      After this, I shall say nothing more. Some people need to get a life and mind their own business.

      Like

  24. Now, I’m all for sharing opinions and such, or telling others your experiences, but one thing that really, really bugs me is when people joke about any mental disorder, regardless of the reasons why they’re doing it. You have no idea the knd of hell that people with these disorders go through. I myself don’t have NPD, I have DID, but I can only imagine what people with NPD go through every day? I really don’t think you understand just how much pain a mental disorder can cause someone, and the fact that joking about it makes you feel better is extremely disturbing to me. Venting or ranting is completely different, but mocking a mental disorder knowingly is when you’ve crossed a really thin line.

    Like

    • luckyotter says:

      I respect your opinion but I don’t want to get into a flame war over it. I explained why I have a joke page, and it’s not meant to offend people with NPD or any other mental disorder. Since you do not have NPD why are you even that offended?

      I already explained to you why the jokes are there. They are not meant to offend anyone but to help survivors of N abuse cope and make them seem less dangerous. As someone who has no idea what it’s like to be the victim of a malignant narcissist, you really don’t have a right to tell me what I can and can’t have on my blog. I did try to make them semi-private (meaning you would need a password) but I’m not able to do that, so for now they are going to stay.

      If they offend you, just don’t come to this blog or read them. I didn’t even make up the jokes–other people did. I don’t understand why you keep reading this blog and checking up on what I’m posting if you dislike what I have here so much.

      Let’s just agree to disagree and leave it at that, okay? Thanks.

      Like

      • luckyotter says:

        One more thing. If you read some of my other articles here, you will see that I have empathy for people with NPD and other mental disorders. I try hard to understand them. Obviously you haven’t read many of my posts. You are making snap judgments about me based on one page that you find offensive. If you don’t like it, don’t read it.

        Like

  25. I’m friends with the blogger you talked about in your post. That’s why I’m here. I didn’t think it was true. I had no clue that someone could be this sick and twisted. I’m offended because you’re mocking a mental disorder and creating the stereotype that EVERY person with this disorder is a terrible person, which isn’t true at all. And because I’m sick and tired of people being labeled as these monstorous awful people just because of their disorder.

    I find it absolutely disgusting that you KNOW you’re offending people with this blog, and that what you’re doing is wrong, but yet continue to do it anyway rather than apologizing for your screw ups and trying to truly make this blog a safe place. You say that’s what this whole blog is, but all I see on this damn thing is stereotyping, labeling, and judgement.

    Like

    • luckyotter says:

      I’m sorry you feel the way you do. I have said nothing nearly as offensive as what was said about me today. But, whatever. We can agree to disagree, and I would prefer that. I want to bury the hatchet and say nothing more on this issue.

      Like

  26. luckyotter says:

    Comments have been removed. I am going to find out if this topic can be closed.

    Like

  27. I think you are brave for admitting how much it hurts when people take offense or post negative feedback instead of pretending to be tough. Just remember, about every blogger will get some criticism or negativity for their blog or get told what they are writing about themselves isn’t true. If people don’t like what you write, they don’t have to read it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • luckyotter says:

      It used to be so scary to admit vulnerability, but I have never lied on this blog and that means I’m an open book here.
      I’m finding that most people can tell when you’re genuine and open, and when you are faking. It’s getting a lot easier for me to be the real me online,and a hell of a lot easier than being the real me in real life, where believe it or not I am painfully shy and awkward (I have Aspergers).

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