The truth.

truth

I had a very Orwellian dream last night but unfortunately I didn’t stay awake and blog about it right away, so I can’t remember too many details. What I do remember:

I was living in some bleak and terrible place with a lot of people who were hiding the truth about something bad. I was the only one telling the truth. They called me a liar and crazy. I started to believe their lies. I started to question what was truth and what was fiction. I couldn’t understand them. I felt like I was losing my mind.

I tried to escape. I was on an airplane and somehow wound up with a rifle in my baggage. I don’t know how it got there. When questioned by authorities coming off the plane, I just told them I bought it and didn’t know it was against the law because it would sound even more unbelievable to tell them the truth and say I didn’t know how it got there. They took me in for questioning and I knew I was going to prison for a long time.

The first part of the dream is obvious. The gaslighting liars represent my MNs, who had everyone (even me at times) believing the truth was a lie and lies were the truth. After my escape, I’m not sure what happened or why. I think my MNs set me up to screw me even after I left them.

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15 thoughts on “The truth.

  1. After I thought and wrote about dreams last night, I read three blogs which I’m following which had posts about dreams. I officially declare this week a week of dreams 🙂

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  2. I just love dreams, they tell us what is going on. This one in particular you had is so specific, its great. The plane ride was going out into the world with what we have. I’m just wondering if you felt scared during the time the authorities were questioning you after the plane, you probably were. The rifle, I think, represents the way in which ACON’s tend to go overboard in protecting ourselves. I know for me this makes me look bad to others, but how should I know how to act? I was never taught, so of course I will use very crazy tactics. We don’t know. We try this and that and of course we make mistakes never knowing why. You don’t know how the gun got there. Then we make excuses. The mind goes crazy, nothing makes sense.

    But you feel like you’ll be horribly treated because of it. And of course we are.

    And, it is not our fault.

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    • Joan, that is an excellent dream analysis. I think the rifle does represent a “weapon” to protect myself.

      I guess “not knowing I had the gun” represents the fact that in real life, I’ve always had the ability to fight back against the narcs and psychopaths and just didn’t know it until now. Going to prison for having the gun represents my own fear that I will be punished for taking a stand.

      Dreams are so fascinating. They tell us so much about what is really going on in our minds. We should pay attention to them.

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      • Oh, to answer your question, of course I was scared when being questioned! I thought I had been framed. But actually now that I think of it, I wasn’t framed. My last comment will explain why.

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          • Scary enough to wake me up! In the “related posts” under the article, you can read about another dream I had called “The House”–that one was a lot more detailed and even more scary.

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  3. Ugh, I hate that dreams fade like that. Whenever I wake up after one I would like to remember I think to myself, “I should get up and write that down before I forget.” But if it’s middle of the night, I’m too tired to keep my eyes open that long. lol

    And what I thought of about when reading about the gun being in your bag and the discovery of it was the discovery of how malicious a narcissist can actually be behind your back and you don’t even know what’s going on until it’s too late.

    I’ve noticed some titles, reading around recently on the subject of narcissists about how they can really sabotage others and not to underestimate that, even when you haven’t been around them, especially when you’re not doing what they want and you’re no longer under their control.

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    • They certainly do continue to haunt us even after we go No Contact, and the proof of that can be seen in our dreams. At first I also thought the gun being found in my baggage was my MN’s framing me, but on further thinking, I actually think the gun represents the “weapon” I always had to protect myself from them, and wasn’t aware I had it.

      Getting into trouble and being questioned was my terror over the narcs finding out I had the means to do combat with them. (I had a very similar feeling when I became aware my parents had found the link to this blog on social media).

      I love dreams and hate the way they fade away too. I meant to stay up and blog about this right away, while still inside that weird “dreamlike” feeling that lingers for a few minutes after a dream (like I did when I wrote “The House”), but I was so tired and promised myself I’d remember later. Well, I only remembered enough to still get the message, and thta’s the important thing. Sometimes too many details muddy what your mind is really trying to tell you.

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  4. I thought you were gonna say you dreamt you were Chelsea Manning, from the graphic. But this was pretty intense too.

    BTW, hi, I found your blog from a friend of mine reblogging a post…

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