12 more songs about narcissists–part 2!

Two additional songs about narcissism were brought to my attention so rather than start a new list, I decided to add them to this older one.
Enjoy! 🙂

luckyotter's avatarLucky Otters Haven

Due to the enormous popularity of my previous articles about this topic (both of which now appear at the top of page one of Google–thanks everyone for making these so popular!), I’m adding ten more songs about narcissists today. Music and narcissism go together well– that’s one good thing narcissism has going for it, I guess. 🙂

The Songs.

1. “The Backstabbers” — The O’Jays

It’s very difficult to find songs about narcissists/psychopaths prior to the 1980s, but here’s an excellent one from the early 1970s.

2. “Ain’t It Fun” — Paramore

Catchy pop offering a badass challenge to a narcissist’s gameplaying.

3. “You Don’t Own Me” — Lesley Gore

Here’s another oldie (from the early ’60s) about a young woman involved with a narcissistic man.

4. “Mr. Know It All” — Kelly Clarkson

A modern take on Lesley Gore’s lament.

5. “Shadowboxer” — Fiona Apple

Apple’s musical poetry eloquently…

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23 things I hate about my life.

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It’s time for a little shameless self pity.

I’m actually not in a negative mood right now, but I was yesterday for awhile and I desperately wanted to vent. It’s great to try to be positive and look at the bright side of things, but to deny the shit in our lives is like denying that sometimes you just have to get it out, whether it’s emotional shit or the other kind. Holding it in is bad for you.

So I’m getting it all out here right now and then moving on.

1. I hate the fact I’m over 50 and make poverty level wages. Being poor does seem to be a common complaint among those of us who were trained to be victims by narcissistic families. We just never learned how to navigate the world and lack the confidence to do it very well.

2. I hate the fact I have a job that has nothing to do with what I really love and don’t really know how I can parlay writing into a career.

3. I hate that I love the beach, live so far away from it, and can’t afford to go. I haven’t been to the beach in six years.

4. I hate the fact I want to date again but am terrified of that prospect too. I don’t want to die alone but worry no one would want to stay with me.

5. I hate the fact I have no health insurance and can’t afford to buy any. I don’t qualify for Obamacare because my income is too low and this state won’t allow me to get Medicaid. We do have a free medical clinic in town but I hate the condescending way they treat you there.

6. I sometimes wonder why the hell I ever moved to this state, although it’s really not so bad.

7. I hate the way I acted when I was younger and cringe in embarrassment and shame thinking about it sometimes. I want to divorce my younger self sometimes and pretend she never existed, even though I know that to heal, I need to make peace with her and learn to love her.

8. Sometimes I feel like a huge loser in life. Of course this idea has been drummed into me by my narcs and I’ve internalized it. It’s not an easy belief to let go of.

9. I hate the fact I sometimes doubt my faith.

10. I hate the way I sometimes still hurt people without meaning to.

11. I hate feeling like I’m always guilty of something and always have to apologize.

12. I hate that I’m so socially awkward that people sometimes think I’m daft. Having hearing issues on top of Aspergers and Avoidant PD sure doesn’t help with this.

13. I hate how fair I am. I can’t tan anymore (I could as a child and teenager) but at least I don’t have wrinkles.

14. I hate that I had an abortion and never got to meet the son I would have had (it was male and would have been born in March or April of 1999 so he’d be 16 now). At the time I didn’t feel like I had a choice.

15. I hate the fact I spent three months in a mental hospital in 1996 and at the time didn’t take the DBT training very seriously. I kept the books and do now though.

16. I hate the fact I wasted my young adult years chasing men and obsessing over finding the perfect man instead of focusing on my education and training for a real career in journalism.

17. I hate the fact I don’t have any close friends IRL. I won’t let anyone get close to me because I’m afraid if they found out too much about me they would hate me.

18. I hate the fact my family of origin sucked and have never been supportive of me or loved me unconditionally and judge me so harshly.

19. I hate the fact my family thinks my mental disorders are just an excuse and take no interest in them or why I have them.

20. When push comes to shove, I still can’t say I’m really a very happy person. I’ve gotten better but I wonder if I’ll ever really be happy. I’m looking into getting a therapist.

21. I wish I had been a better mom when my kids were young. I still beat myself up over not having been there for them when they needed me most.

22. I hate that I haven’t seen my son in two years because he lives 700 miles away and I can’t afford to travel to see him.

23. I hate it that I still have so much trouble speaking up when I’ve been hurt or standing up for myself when my rights have been violated.

That felt kind of good.

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Best of Lucky Otter’s Haven

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I got this idea from Anna Valerious’ blog Narcissists Suck, who did a similar “Best Of” list. Unfortunately, WordPress no longer allows an “All Time” timeframe for gathering statistics, so this list will only include my most popular (most viewed) posts from 2015.
They are listed in order from most viewed to least.

If an article was a rant about some drama going on at the time and I was just venting, I skipped those for the most part.

The posts about Narcissism and the few about Borderline Personality Disorder that made the Top 50 will be listed separately from the rest. (These are my most popular articles out of a total of about 890 articles since I started this blog last September)

My Narcissism articles have proven to be my most viewed by far.

This post will also become a new static page in the header, which I’ll update on a monthly basis (for the rest of 2015 at any rate).

Most Popular Posts about Narcissism and BPD

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1. A Match Made in Hell: Narcissists and HSPs
2. 20 Songs About Narcissists #11-20 (part 2 of 2)
3. 20 Songs About Narcissists #10-1 (part 1 of 2)
4. Grandiose and Vulnerable Narcissists: How Do They Differ?
5. Famous People Who Have NPD
6. The Distinctive Look of Psychopathy: Gazing Into the Face of Evil
7. Why You Should Never Jump into a New Relationship After Narcissistic Abuse
8. Do Narcissists Cry?
9. 12 More Songs About Narcissism
10. Maybe We Throw Around the “N” Label Too Freely
11. A New Insight on Being the Only Child of a Narcissistic Mother
12. Can a Psychopath Ever Be Cured?
13. My Story of Narcissistic Abuse (Childhood and Adolescence)
14. Narcissism is a Family Disease
15. 12 Weird Things You Might See a Narcissist Do
16. The “Sex Symbol of Narcissism”
17. Sleeping With the Devil: My Marriage to a Psychopath (part 1)
18. Psychopaths and Pets
19. The Man You Love to Hate–or Hate to Love
20. Are You Being Gaslighted?
21. My Mother, the Exhibitionist
22. Letter From a Narcissist’s True Self
23. Narcissists Who Use 12-Step Programs to Further Their Agenda
24. Beware of MNs Posing as Victims in the Psychopathic Abuse Community
25. Disturbing Documentary About Narcissists and Psychopaths
26. Narcissists and Cleanliness
27. 10 Ways to Deal With a Narcissist
28. The Four Types of Narcissistic Abuse Victims
29. Could Reparenting Actually Cure a Narcissist?
30. Healing Narcissism: Stephen’s Story
31. More About the Narcissistic Stare
32. Why Family Scapegoats Become Lifelong Victims
33. The 12 Steps of “Narcissists Anonymous”
34. Sociopath vs. Psychopath: Is There a Difference?
35. Sam Vaknin: Narcissist or Narcissist Wannabe?
36. I Think It’s Iime We Stop Bashing All Narcissists
37. 5 More Weird Things You May See a Narcissist Do
38. Malignant Narcissism and the Supernatural: A Connection?
39. Eight Fun Games Narcissists Like to Play (and One They Can’t Play)
40. It’s All About Image: The Skewed Values of Narcissistic Families
41. Cerebral vs. Somatic Narcissists
42. Are BPD and Complex PTSD the Same Disorder?
43. How To Recognize a Covert Narcissist
44. The Real Reason Highly Sensitive People Get Bullied
45. Do Narcissists Have a Spiritual Purpose We Can’t Understand?
46. Are Narcissists Ever Abuse Victims?
47. Narcissist Parents Demonize Their Own Children
48. Courtney Love, Murderous Psychopath
49. On Narcissists Who Want to Be Cured
50. Do Psychopaths Hate Cats?

I am adding these 10 articles to this list too because they were “bubbling under” the Top 50 and they’re among my personal favorites (these numbers are not their actual rankings, but they are in order from most to least popular):

51. Book Review: “Malignant Self-Love” by Sam Vaknin
52. 22 Signs of Online Destructive Narcissists in Forums and Blogging Communities
53. Why Being a Golden Child Isn’t So Golden
54. Malignant Narcissism in Fairy Tales
55. All My Narcissistic Lovers
56. Lies My Narcissists Told Me
57. Malignant Narcissists: HSPs Gone Bad?
58. Survivor Hypervigilance and The Danger of False Labeling
59. NPD vs. BPD: They Are Not The Same Thing!
60. Ten Great Things About Narcissists

Other Popular Posts

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I have included only the Top 25 here because overall, these articles ranked much lower than my articles about narcissism. A few of these overlap with the subject of narcissism and could appear on either list, but for various reasons I decided to place them here instead.

1. Anyone Remember Merrimints? Well, They’re Back (Sort of)
2. My Favorite Optical Illusions
3. My Son is Furry–Got a Problem With That?
4. On Political Correctness and the Inevitability of Offending People
5. Forever Alone
6. Mid Century Modern Houses > McMansions and Other Neo-Eclectic Monstrosities
7. People Treat Me Like I’m Stupid
8. Blogging is Not For Pussies
9. Scientology: A Cult of Psychopathy
10. 20 Truths of Blogging
11. Road Rage, Bumper Stickers, and Narcissism
12. Why IQ Tests of the Past Lacked Smarts
13. Are Millennials Really the Most Narcissistic Generation Ever?
14. 15 Insane Things I’ve Been Accused Of
15. Who Was Narcissus?
16. 15 Things That Introverts Will Never Tell You
17. How Does Aspergers Syndrome Differ From Non-Verbal Learning Disability?
18. Ten Things That Make Your Blog Suck
19. The Curse of the Aspergers/Avoidant/Borderline Triad
20. Replying To My Haters
21. Ferris Bueller, Psychopath
22. Scrambled Eggs for Brains
23. My Weird Phobia
24. Chronic Rage is a Trap, Not a Trophy
25. The Narcautism Spectrum!

10 Annoying as Shit Things Bloggers Do

If you blog, please DON’T do these things!

12 ways for for non-lazy bloggers to get more hits.

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There are many casual bloggers who only blog for themselves or their friends. They don’t care about views, hits or visibility, and have never looked at their stats page, and that is perfectly okay. Casual bloggers can write one blog post a year and it won’t matter because the few views they get are all they care about anyway. Their sole reason for blogging is to share their thoughts, feelings or pictures with a few friends–or just get them down “on paper,” so to speak. There is, of course, nothing wrong with that.
So if you’re a casual type of blogger who blogs only for yourself or your friends or family, this article will not apply to you.

But if you’re a serious blogger, like I am, you will want to increase your readership, get more views, and be more visible on the web. I think for most of us, the primary reason we blog is for the love of it and to share our thoughts with others, but let’s be honest: that isn’t quite enough. For aspiring writers like me, maximum visibility is important because visibility helps us promote our writing. Blogging can act as a springboard to other things. An active and well-known blog can be parlayed into a writing career or even the eventual publication of a book.

If you’re a serious blogger, you can’t be lazy. You have to work hard at it, and it becomes a job. A fun job to be sure, but still a job. So I am going to give you some pointers for how to promote your blog and get as much visibility as possible. I’ve been blogging for almost a year now, and have learned enough about this along the way that I think my advice can help you too.

1. The most important thing is to write every day.
I’m serious. I’ve noticed that if I skip even ONE DAY without writing a new post, my viewership declines and I get fewer hits. Until you’re really well established or have a really famous blog (which most of us don’t), you cannot rest on the laurels of your last well-received and popular blog post. You must keep writing. Of course there will be days you can’t think of an original idea or are simply too tired to write anything original. In that case, it’s okay to post a photo, meme, cartoon, or reblog someone else’s article. If you do reblog an article though, try to write at least a paragraph or two introducing it and explaining why you’re reblogging it. Don’t reblog just for the sake of posting something. Make sure it’s something you really like or that resonates with you. Your readers will pick up your enthusiasm if you write an intro. But be careful not to do this to often. If you hardly ever post original material, people will lose interest in your blog because it becomes nothing more than a platform to promote the material of others.

2. Have a good looking blog.
WordPress has many themes and many of them are free. I think the majority of them are tasteful and easy on the eyes, and they are easy to set up. If you run ads on your blog (you won’t be doing this unless you’re a serious blogger anyway), be careful about having too many other graphics and widgets on your blog. I’m probably guilty of this, because my sidebar looks like a widget sardine can, but I can’t bring myself to delete any of them. But I don’t think this blog looks too “busy.” Don’t use background colors and patterns that are hard on the eyes or that clash with the content. Use a font that’s easy to read, not just because you think it looks “cool.”

3. No walls of text!
If you write long articles, it’s best to break them up into subheaders, “listicles” (numbered lists), or use graphics and pictures. Google Image is great for finding the perfect graphic for an article, or if you’re a good photographer, you can take your own pictures.

4. Reply to your comments.
This should be a no-brainer. If you allow comments but don’t answer them, people will think you’re a snob or that you don’t care. If you get many comments, it may not be practical to answer all of them, but at least “Like” them to let the commenter know you saw their comment. There is of course the option to not allow comments at all (which may be necessary if you are being stalked or bullied excessively) but if you want your blog to grow, I don’t recommend this. Blogging should be an interactive activity, and if you don’t allow comments, people will think you only care about your own opinion and will probably lose interest eventually. Also, don’t run people off by not allowing them to disagree with you. There’s a big difference between someone who merely disagrees with something you wrote and a bully. Disagreements can turn into interesting and lively debates and discussions.

5. Use the share buttons, even if you don’t use social media.
There are many social media share buttons that WordPress makes available. You should make all of these available under each article, so even if you don’t use social media yourself, other people will share your articles for you and that will help you gain visibility. It’s a fantastic feeling to look at your share buttons and see your counters growing. When one article of mine hit 1K shares on Facebook, I felt like I won the lottery.

6. Use Twitter and Facebook even if you hate them.
If you want your blog to grow, I recommend sharing articles on at least Twitter and Facebook, even if that’s the only reason you use these social media platforms. You can set your blog up so your articles are automatically shared to the social media platforms you choose without you having to actually go to the sites to do so.

7. Use Twitter #hashtags.
If you have a Twitter account, and you have an older article you want to promote, or one that seems to be especially popular, I recommend re-sharing it using #hashtags. The automatic share feature won’t do this for you, but if you manually share an article to Twitter, include a few #hashtags in your tweet (a box will pop up where you can do this). Hashtags are basically just one word tags that describe the content of your article. For example if you write about narcissism, and you are tweeting about a relevant article, use hashtags like #NPD, #narcissism, etc. You won’t be able to add too many so make sure they sum up the content and are popular words people search for. Doing this works because even if people aren’t following you on Twitter, if they look up a topic by using a certain #hashtag, your article will be listed and it will get a lot more views than if you do not use hashtags. It may sound #stupid, but it works for me every time.

8. Reference and link to other blogs and websites in your posts.
Not only does it appear you’ve done your research by quoting or referring to material from other blogs, every time you link to another blog or site, it creates a trackback, which appears on that blog, and from there people visiting the other blog can click on the trackback or pingback link and be taken to your blog post. It also helps foster goodwill between bloggers–most bloggers love to be credited and have their blog linked to, and they may recommend yours or link to yours in return. I can’t even tell you how many of my “referrers” are blogs I linked to months ago in a single blog post.

9. Make your content easy to find.
I’ve seen blogs you can’t navigate because there’s no option for finding what you’re looking for. That drives me crazy. No one wants to scroll through every article you ever wrote to find what they want to read (and how would they know it exists anyway if there’s no navigational tools?) At the very least, use a search bar (which you can add easily via the Widgets on the Admin page), but I recommend using a few other features too that make navigating your site easier, such as a tag cloud, a category list, a table of contents, or topics listed in the header or sidebar (mine are listed in the header and some include subtopics). If people can’t find what they’re looking for, they’ll throw their hands up in frustration and go to other blogs instead.

10. Make good use of tags and categories. I still have a lot to learn about this. I tend to use too many tags and categories, and I hear this is a no-no. I’m getting better though. Like Twitter #hashtags, using relevant words and phrases that describe your article’s content draws viewers, because when they’re searching for a topic in a search engine such as Google, tag words will make sure your article is listed there, even if it’s on page 20 to start with. As your blog grows, you will find your Google rankings rising and some articles may start appearing on the first page if they get enough views. There is no reason why you should have to pay for SEO. All you need is patience.

11. Make your blog mobile-friendly.
Just about everyone these days has a Smartphone with Internet access and many people even use it more often than their computer for reading web content. WordPress has a feature under Admin Tools for making your blog readable on mobile phones. Doing this will also increase your traffic because it makes it possible for people to read your blog even when they’re at work, walking the dog, eating dinner at the Olive Garden, or taking a bath.

12. Don’t let bullies and trolls intimidate you or destroy your will to blog. If you blog regularly, and especially if you start to get a lot of views and hits, be prepared for this. There are going to be people who won’t like you, your blog, or your content, or are jealous of you or just want to stir up trouble because that’s what trolls do. Be forewarned: it’s not a matter of if but when. Fortunately, other than nursing your hurt feelings (if you’re sensitive), dealing with these people shouldn’t pose too much of a problem. It’s pretty easy to control your haters on WordPress. You can’t block people the way you can on social media, but you can delete (or not approve) their comments. It’s your blog; you can write about whatever you wish, and if some people have a problem with what you have to say, they are basically telling you how to run your blog or even whether you have the right to blog, and neither of those things is okay. THEY are not your boss–YOU are. You can’t be fired from your job as a blogger–you can only quit. Write about what you want and put those nasty comments where they belong–in the Trash. Lick your wounds and keep on writing.

If you are being stalked or threatened (like a certain very popular WordPress blogger was recently), you can always set your blog to private or password-protected for awhile until the dust settles, or disable comments. With any luck, you won’t ever have to do either of those things.

5 reasons why you should never tell a narcissist they’re a narcissist.

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In my dealings with narcissists, it’s sometimes been tempting to tell them to their face that they’re narcissists, thinking maybe it could be the wake up call they need. It’s a nice fantasy to think they might take a look at their obnoxious, abusive, insufferable selves and try to make some changes, but unfortunately that’s just a fantasy. It won’t work, because narcissists cannot feel remorse for their actions or empathy for hurting you. In fact, they may take pleasure from it.

The following reactions are far more likely if you “out” a narcissist to their face:

1. They might rage. Or give you the silent treatment. Or laugh at you. Or deny it. Or abuse you. Or call you names. Or tell you you’re crazy or deluded. Narcissists hate the truth, and if they know you have their number, they feel threatened and will attack like a cornered rattlesnake. It’s in their nature.

2. It might give them twisted narcissistic supply. Some narcissists may actually take a perverse pride in being called narcissistic. Rather than making them feel shame and remorse, telling a narcissist they’re a narcissist may flatter them and inflate their ego even more, which could lead to them becoming even more narcissistic and abusive than they already are.

3. They might project it back onto you. This is surprisingly common. Projection (attributing their own bad behaviors to their victims) is one of the more common red flags of a narcissist, so if you call a narc a narc, don’t be too surprised if they start telling everyone YOU are the narcissist.

4. They might learn more to hone their weapon. Taking #2 a step further, some bright narcissists may actually decide to learn more about their disorder–but not to learn how to control it or improve the way they treat people, but rather to educate themselves about abusive narcissistic mindgames they haven’t already tried in order to use them against you. I actually know someone this happened to when she called her ex a narcissist. He started reading every book he could get his hands on about NPD and narcissistic abuse, and systematically started using the information to “prove” his girlfriend had NPD and that he was the real victim (see #3).

5. They might not be a narcissist. There is always a possibility (even if small) that the person you think is a narcissist really isn’t. If you’re not a mental health professional qualified to make a diagnosis based on standardized testing and interviews, your own bias, lack of knowledge, or just plain dislike of a person could be influencing your judgment of them. Perhaps they are having a bad day (or a bad life), or suffer from some other disorder that can mimic narcissism. Even non-disordered people can act like narcissists at times. All of us can. So if you’re certain someone is a narcissist, you may be right, but it’s still best to keep that information to yourself–or only tell your close friends.

11 guaranteed traffic boosters.

Winter Weather Georgia

In my 10 months of blogging, I’ve noticed certain topics generate more traffic than others. Of course I’m sure there are many I have not covered in this blog, but here are the ones I’ve written about that seem to always generate the most traffic. If I need a boost in views, I find writing about these things seems to do the trick every time.

1. Psychopathy/sociopathy — people love reading about bad people. I guess it satisfies the schadenfruede in all of us, or gives expression to our shadow side. Better yet, write about serial killers/mass murderers, or at least include a photo of one.

2. Malignant narcissism — see #1 (not quite as effective though)

3. Cats — it can even be a single picture of your own cat. Cats are like sex in the movies. They sell.

4. Furries — They’re both cool and strange. They are also polarizing (people either love ’em or hate ’em)

5. Desserts/recipes for desserts — we are all still sugar addicted little kids at heart.

6. Sex and romance — use the word “sex” in the title and watch your stats soar.

7. Pretty much anything about Aspergers — because Aspies abound on the Internet. Online, it’s cool to be a socially clueless introverted geek.

8. Anything controversial — You can have unpopular opinions, but be prepared to have haters if you express them. Between the haters and curiosity seekers, your stats will soar. If your blog is monetized, your haters increase your income. Try telling them that. 😉

9. Numbered lists — They’re called “listicles” and they will boost your traffic because people like easy to digest “soundbites” rather than walls of text. It’s one reason why Cracked.com is so popular (besides being an amazingly hilarious website).

10. Cuteness — anything that makes people go “awww” and feel like they have to punch a kitten to feel manly again is going to get you more hits. Cuteness is as addictive as crack. (see #3)

11. Humor — be careful with this one. Your joke has to be genuinely funny. If you’re not a funny person, skip this one.

10 things you discover about yourself when you have BPD.

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The linked article is so true it hurts. I’m experiencing a lot of this right now, in thinking about this disorder so much and the ways I have harmed and hurt people in my past and the little ways it still tries to sneak out.

I’m also reading James Masterson’s “The Search for the Real Self,” which I’ll review when I finish it. This book is like looking into a mirror at the way others have seen me all these years.

I feel like I’ve been given a new set of eyes and an entirely new perspective on myself.
I wonder how common it is for a BPD person to reach this point of self-awareness. I guess I must have been ready.

If you have BPD or know someone with BPD, please read this very important article.

10 Things You Discover About Yourself When You’re Diagnosed With Borderline Personality Disorder

10 things you can’t do with a narcissist.

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I don’t need your damn fake apologies.

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My sociopathic ex was never sorry for anything. Oh, yes, he “apologized” sometimes, but it was only to get me to shut up or because he knew he’d already lost the argument or knew I was right (but he wasn’t really sorry.) It was insulting how stupid he must have thought I was to believe these “apologies” were sincere.

Unless they are incredibly good actors and are hoovering you (trying to reel you back in, like a Hoover vacuum sucks up dirt) or love-bombing you (stalking you as prey), no apology coming out of a narc’s mouth is going to sound sincere. Of course, it’s easy to fall for those “sincere” apologies when they’re feeling needy, but there are always other red flags you can look for, such as crowding you, moving too fast, or trash-talking all their exes (make no mistake, he or she will eventually trash-talk you too).

Once they have you trapped in their web of deception, a narcissist’s “apologies” are going to sound more like the following (if they even bother to apologize for anything at all). Some of them are actual “apologies” I got from my MN ex.

Gaslighting, projection and devaluation/invalidation are embedded in almost every narcissistic “apology,” as is lack of empathy. The “shut up” apology or the “I will not take responsibility for my actions” apologies are common too. All of them are represented here. So, without further ado, here’s a list of what you might hear.

Narcissist “Apologies”

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1. “I’m sorry, but you always get so hormonal and overreact to everything when you’re on the rag.” (invalidation; devaluation)

2. “I’m sorry you have no sense of humor.” (projection and gaslighting)

3. ” I’m sorry you overreact to everything I say.” (projection and gaslighting; devaluation)

4. “I’m sorry your family gave you such horrible examples of how to be a compassionate person and made you so self-centered and narcissistic.” (it’s true about my FOO but this is blatant projection!)

5. “I’m sorry, but I always talk loudly and you just take it the wrong way.” (denial of truth–it wasn’t that he was “too loud,” but that he was saying hateful things in an angry tone of voice).

6. “It’s your responsibility you feel hurt by that.” (a favorite of my mother’s)

7. “Your feelings are not my responsibility.” (this gives them carte blanche to say whatever they want)

8. “I’m sorry, but you are driving everyone here crazy with your constant whining.” (projection, gaslighting, possible triangulation)

9. “I’m sorry you are mentally unstable and can’t understand what I said.” (projection and gaslighting; there may be veiled sarcasm there too.)

10. “Alright, fine. I’m SORRY!!!!!!” (said sarcastically or in an angry tone of voice–this is the classic “shut up” apology)

11. “(HUGE sigh) I’m sorry. Are you happy now?” (another version of the “shut up” apology)

12. “I’m sorry but it’s not my problem.” (lack of empathy; taking no responsibility)

13. “I already apologized.” (said when they didn’t). Gaslighting and denying the truth.

14. “I’m sorry about arguing with you, BUT you started it.” (this may or may not be true, but they always have to take a jab at you anyway. Their apology feels hollow.)

15. “I’m sorry I forgot your birthday, BUT I had to be at that meeting. You know how important my job is.” (that job is more important than you, and he or she wants you to be aware of that).

16. “I’m sorry I hit you, BUT you deserved it.” (why even bother saying you’re sorry, asshat?)

17. “I’m sorry I got drunk and threw up all over you, BUT I told you to not let me have any more drinks.” (dead if you do, dead if you don’t–he would have handed you your head if you had actually told him not to have another drink).

18. “Apologies are for wusses, but whatever, fine, I’m sorry if that makes you happy.” (another “shut up” apology)

19. “I’m sorry you think I’m such a horrible person.” (guilt-tripping, possible projection)

20. “I’m sorry you hate everything I ever do for you.” (see #19)

21. I have no idea what I did to upset you, but whatever it was, I’m sorry. (They know damn well what they did and are trying to play “innocent” or “dumb.”)

22. “I’m sorry. Now get over it.” (a shut up apology)

23. “I’m sorry, but nobody’s perfect.” (this is just a cop-out apology; they are not taking responsbility)

I think we’ve heard enough of these. I feel kind of sick now. Their fake apologies are just another weapon narcissists can use to hurt you.

sincere_apologies
See the difference?