20 ways to lose followers.

Tired woman are sleeping and holding cup. Laptop is situated on the table.

As a blogger, I admit I’m guilty of doing some of these things myself.  So I’m writing this  post as a reminder to myself to stop doing these things, and hope other bloggers can take away something from this list too.

1. Don’t allow comments.

Some blogs, especially those dealing with mental illness or abuse, don’t allow comments because negative comments can be very triggering to people struggling with these things, and you are going to get negative comments.   It can’t be avoided.  But as a general rule, it’s good to allow comments because it makes your blog more interactive.  Real conversations get started that way and build a feeling of community, which can make your followers stick around and your blog more engaging.

2. Be a comment nazi. 

Some bloggers don’t want anyone to disagree with them and will not approve or delete comments that question the blogger’s point of view.   While it’s certainly fine to block or delete abusive comments, only allowing comments that agree with your point of view doesn’t allow for healthy debate, which always make a conversation more interesting. It also makes you look like an intolerant, narcissistic jerk.

3.  Be too lenient with comments.

If you allow abusive comments on your blog,  you run the risk that people might be run off by the trollish remarks or fear speaking up themselves because they might be attacked.

4.  Don’t tolerate any disagreement. 

Related to #2, some bloggers like to attack anyone who disagrees with them.  Debate is fine, but engaging in personal attacks and the Internet version of a fistfight on a regular basis will just run off your regular followers.   It’s always best to not feed the trolls.

Close-Up Of Stray Dog Snarling

5. Fail to acknowledge comments.

I see this a lot.   Sometimes you won’t know what to say to a comment or have nothing new to add to their point, and that’s fine.   If you reply to only 50% of your comments, that’s good.  Obviously, the higher the percentage the better.     Use the “Like” button on comments you don’t reply to, so the commenter knows you at least saw it.  Not replying or using the Like button makes your readers feel like you didn’t read their comment or don’t care.

6. Write boring content.

Some blogs document the blogger’s day, and while the activities described may be mundane, if presented in an interesting or humorous way, or if they use pictures or graphics, such otherwise dull posts can actually be engaging.   But if all you do is write a long wall of text about your dog throwing up on the rug and what cereal you ate for breakfast and your writing style or presentation isn’t creative or engaging, you will just put your readers to sleep and they’ll go elsewhere.

7. Don’t check your spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc. 

No one wants to try to pick through a badly written, misspelled post full of run on sentences, horrible grammar, and wonky punctuation. Spellcheck is your friend, and if you can’t put a proper English sentence together, then maybe you shouldn’t be blogging.   Publishing a post full of errors and typos is also is disrespectful to your readers.

8. Be dishonest.

Those of us who write creatively can and do embellish a few details to make our posts come alive but outright lying can never be disguised.  A post that’s dishonest comes off as insincere and your readers will be able to tell.  If you want to write fiction, then write fiction, but call it fiction  and  don’t disguise it as the truth when it’s not.

lying

9. Don’t break up your text.

I’ve ranted about walls of words many times before so I won’t belabor this again.  It’s a pet peeve of mine.   People don’t like reading walls of text.  It hurts their eyes and gives them a migraine.   Use paragraph breaks, subheaders, pictures or graphics to break up a long post into bite size pieces.   Or compile your content into a list.   Your readers are civilized human beings who like to eat their steak in small pieces, not chomp it down whole like a wolf or a caveman.

10. Use garish colors and graphics.

Fortunately, the themes WordPress makes available are tasteful and very hard to make look bad.  In the early days of the web, there seemed to be a lot more websites that were the cyber equivalent of a bad acid trip and used garish, flashing graphics, blingies, and ugly fonts in neon colors that clashed with their neon backgrounds.  MySpace was infamous for this and that was part of its downfall.  Your blog shouldn’t look like The Strip in Vegas or an explosion at The Fun Factory.   It should look more like a pastoral landscape, Park Avenue in New York, or Main Street in a pretty small town.  Don’t be tacky.  It’s also not nice to cause your readers to have epileptic seizures.

ugly_website

11. Pass yourself off as an expert when you are not.

If you write about a highly specialized topic such as mental health, science, or medical issues, and you are not an expert yourself, please use a disclaimer stating that you are not a degreed professional or at least use phrases such as “in my opinion…” or “I think…”.   Otherwise you not only come across as a know it all, but you could also get in legal trouble.

12. Don’t comment on other blogs.

We know, taking care of your own blog is time consuming and it’s just hard to find time to comment on other blogs.   You don’t have to do this every day, but if you never comment on your followers’ blogs, they may unfollow yours.  No one likes to feel like they’re doing all the work in a friendship.  By commenting on other blogs, you not only show goodwill and build community, but you also increase the likelihood they may link to yours or add you to their blogroll, which increases your hits.  If you don’t have time to comment, at least “Like” their posts.  Let them know you at least acknowledge their existence.

13. Write troll posts.

Writing a controversial post just to be controversial may get you attention for the short term, but it’s likely to be negative attention.  Do you really want that?  Also, the attention you get won’t last.  People will come to gawk, and then move on to more worthwhile things.   While it’s fine (and courageous!) to write something controversial if you feel passionate about it,  deliberately writing incendiary posts is like walking around in public slapping random people in the face.   You’ll get attention alright, but it won’t be the kind you want.  Most people will run like hell.

14. SCREAM AT PEOPLE.

NEVER USE ALL CAPS.  NO ONE WANTS TO BE SCREAMED AT.

man-screaming-at-computer

15. Use too much profanity.

While a well placed expletive can give your post more impact, peppering every sentence with four letter words has the opposite effect and distracts attention away from the point you’re trying to make.    It just makes you sound immature, stupid, and obnoxious.

16.  Publicly whine about other blogs having more hits, likes or followers than yours.

Envy is rife in the blogging world.    I’ve seen more posts than I care to from bloggers ranting about how few followers, likes or hits they have, or even worse, kvetching about how much better other blogs are doing than theirs.   While one or two such posts are fine, especially for a newbie whose activity is likely to be low (during my second week blogging, I wrote a post called “I’m Frustrated,” which Opinionated Man reblogged and helped me get new followers), if you continue to do this or make a habit of it, you just come off like a crybaby or a spoilsport, and you’ll wind up losing followers who don’t want to deal with your hysterics.

17.  Brag about how many hits, likes, and followers you have. 

I admit I’ve been guilty of this, but you should avoid it.   It will make people hate you, especially other bloggers.   If you must crow about how well your blog is doing, disguise it by hiding it within a helpful context (for example, you can write a post about how to gain followers,  in which you can use your blog as an example but be careful not to overdo it–people can smell that shit like a drug dog smells cocaine).

prideful_toad
Credit: John Worsley: “Toad”

18.  Be a pointless blog.

I’m not talking here about blogs that don’t have a certain topic as their focus.  There are many great general purpose blogs with posts about anything and everything. I’m talking here about blogs that have no original content.   There are blogs that seem to exist solely to post links to other people’s blogs or regurgitate other’s material.  I always wonder why these blogs exist at all.  Why not just go to the original blogger’s site instead? “Bloggers” who never post original content seem more like secretaries than bloggers, and less useful than a secretary because they won’t even make you coffee.  For some reason, blogs like that also seem to contain viruses.  It’s like having a secretary with typhoid.

19.  Plagiarize and don’t credit others.

Not only will not crediting or plagiarizing others make people angry at you, it will get you in trouble too.  Don’t do it.  If you can’t find the source for something, don’t use it.

20.  Try too hard to be cool.

Some blogs seem to exist just to be cool or edgy.   If you don’t believe in what you’re posting about, and are just doing it to impress others or appear cool, people will be able to tell and will press the backspace key faster than you can put on your groovy sunglasses. People who try too hard to be cool are annoying and pathetic, and that’s not cool.

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The 7 things narcissists are most afraid of.

rejection-attention-affection-perfection

I was actually going to try to post funny search terms again, but alas, they were just not funny, so I nixed that idea.  However, I did find one that inspired me to write this post:

what 6 things are narcissist most scared of

It’s a good question.  Are narcissists afraid of anything? You bet they are, and there are 7 things that scare them silly, not just 6.

1. Abandonment and rejection.

love_me

Narcissists can’t stand being rejected or abandoned.   That’s why they fly into rages and punish and threaten you if you threaten to leave them, and love bomb you if you do manage to get away.  To reject a narcissist means you are rejecting the false self they have so carefully constructed to impress you.  To reject that false self negates their entire reason for existing, since whatever true self they may have left is completely inaccessible to them and the false self cannot survive on its own; it’s completely dependent on the approval and attention of others, who it feeds from like a vampire.  When you reject a narcissist they are forced to confront their own emptiness and nothing scares them more than that.  They will fight tooth and nail to avoid it, even if it means they have to destroy you in the process.

2. Being made fun of.

don__t_make_fun_of_me__by_quackedsquare

Credit: Quacksquared

Narcissists have no sense of humor.  Nada. None. Zero. Zip.  They may laugh cruelly at you when you fall and break your arm, and they may chuckle at the discomfort of someone else (since they have almost no empathy), especially if the discomfort was caused by them (because remember, to them you are not a real person but an object),  but they are completely incapable of ever laughing at themselves.

A few years ago on a forum I posted on, there was a man who became enraged when someone wrote “LOL” at a joke someone else made at his expense (the joke wasn’t very offensive), and from then on he gave both of them the silent treatment.     They take themselves very, very seriously and are very, very sensitive.  But that sensitivity doesn’t extend toward anyone but themselves.   The reason they are so bothered by jokes at their expense and can’t laugh at themselves is because the self they present to the world is a false one that must be propped up and supported at all times by everyone else.   To poke fun at a narcissist is to poke fun at a self that’s as empty inside as a puppet.  It has no substance.     It will fall to pieces and then the narcissist is forced to confront that terrifying emptiness that constantly haunts them.

3. Being disrespected.

demand_respect

No one likes to be treated with disdain or disrespect, but the narcissist is downright phobic about it.   He or she worries about it all the time and imagines slights and personal attacks even where they don’t exist.  Again, it boils down to the false self which he or she must constantly keep propped up.  It’s your job to puff it up and inflate it constantly lest it collapse into a limp pile of flimsy rubber.    Disrespecting a narcissist is like popping a hole in their balloon-self and they feel like they are going to die.    To avoid this, a narcissist uses every defense mechanism they have in their arsenal–gaslighting, rages, silent treatment, lying, projection, denial, fabricating,  and false affection–to keep you inflating their balloon-self so they don’t have to acknowledge the horror of recognizing they have lost their real one.

4. Being ignored.

dont_ignore_me

This is a no-brainer.   Ignoring a narcissist means giving them no supply at all, and without narcissistic supply, the narcissist dies a slow death.   Or believes they will.   That’s why some narcissists would even rather be hated than be ignored.  Negative attention is still attention, and at least it provides acknowledgement that they still exist.   When you ignore a narcissist, it’s as frightening to them as being killed.  They’re no longer confident they exist without your attention.

5. Exposure.

Several colorful arrow street signs with words Not Me - His, Her and Their Fault, symbolizing the twisting of the truth and shifting of blame

If you call out a narcissist on their abusive behavior, they will usually become very angry.  Their anger might be expressed in rage or in more covert means such as the silent treatment or gaslighting you. They don’t like to be held accountable for the things they do to others, because that means they have to admit they are less than perfect.   It also means they have to acknowledge the humanity of someone else, which they aren’t capable of doing.  Narcissists are all too aware of their imperfections, but only at the subconscious level, and the way they handle this is to project their own imperfections onto you.  So a narcissist might tell you that YOU are the narcissistic one, or that YOU are the abuser.  They’re also good at getting others to side against you, and those people become their flying monkeys.    They will accuse you of doing things that they themselves have done and everyone believes them and not you.

You start to feel like you’re living in a hellish world of smoke and mirrors, where you’re no longer sure what’s real and what isn’t.   The narcissist has, unconsciously or consciously, set up this elaborate lie as a massive defense mechanism against being exposed as imperfect and flawed just like everyone else, because being forced to acknowledge their shortcomings is to expose their vulnerabilities, and being vulnerable is incredibly terrifying to them.   They blame so they don’t have to feel shame.

6. Loss of the trappings of youth and success. 

grumpy_old_man

As narcissists age, they often grow even more  abusive (a very few may improve–but they probably weren’t high spectrum to begin with). That’s because aging means a loss of looks, career, health, possibly even a spouse (who provides a narcissist with supply), and in some cases even financial solvency. All these things are proof to a narcissist that they still have value and are still admired and respected.

Somatic narcissists, who are most concerned with their health or physical appearance, have never developed other aspects of themselves that could be fallen back on when those things begin to go; that’s because the false self is a flimsy one-dimensional construct and is incapable of love, true attachment, friendship, and other things that the rest of us can fall back on when we’re old and not in such great physical shape or health anymore.   If someone has spent their entire lives only concerned with their appearance, once that goes, what’s left?

Cerebral narcissists, who are concerned with their intellectual ability or business acumen, may be able to hang onto those assets a bit longer, but eventually, their minds may begin to become less sharp or they may be forced to retire or reduce their hours working.  Having to retire is a huge blow to a narcissist whose entire identity is tied up in his or her career and earning ability.  What is left?

In both cases, a narcissist experiences an almost total loss of supply and to avoid the ensuing depression, they lash out and attack others like angry dogs.  That’s why old narcissists are so often cranky and mean.   They’re also terrified of death, the last thing on the list that terrifies them.

 

7. Death.

fear_of_death_2

Every narcissist I’ve ever known lives in mortal terror of death.   That’s because death is the ultimate loss of narcissistic supply.  Death means complete annihilation of the ego and there’s nothing more horrifying to a narcissist than that because their ego is all they are.   Personally, I think some also fear hell.  They know on some deep level how badly they’ve treated and exploited others and think they might be held accountable for it in the afterlife.   I’ve seen a lot of narcissists who suddenly become extremely religious in their old age.  I think that’s because they think by being religious, they may be able to ward off any accountability after they die.

11 songs about BPD and NPD #5

My song lists about NPD and BPD are among my most popular posts (and are so much fun to put together), so I think it’s time to post another set. There are so many great songs about Cluster B disorders!

Since it’s sometimes so hard to distinguish lyrics about people with BPD from people with NPD, I’m going to just combine 10 songs I haven’t reviewed before in one new post, and specify which disorder I think is being described in the narrative, and where I’m not sure, I’ll say so.
Wherever possible, I tried to post the lyric videos.

1. The Cars: Dangerous Type

Thanks to Mary Pranzatelli for suggesting this one! This is a great, catchy song, the Cars were one of my favorite bands back in the day. I think this describes a girl with BPD.

2. Three Days’ Grace: Animal I Have Become

Three Days’ Grace (along with Alanis Morrisette) seems to have a lot of songs about personality disordered individuals. This rocker from the early 2000s seems to be sung by a guy with severe or malignant BPD (edging toward sociopathy) who is all too aware of how sick he’s become.

3. Smashing Pumpkins: To Forgive

A dark and poignant lament from a man with either BPD or NPD about the child he was whose soul was destroyed.

4. Of Monsters and Men: Little Talks

Duet where the female singer appears to be suffering from BPD and is having a dialogue about it with her worried lover.

5. The Beatles: Run for Your Life

There are few songs from the 60s about BPD or NPD and The Beatles weren’t a band you expected to write about such dark material anyway, but this lesser known of their songs seems to be about a really jealous guy with malignant NPD or psychopathy.

6. John Lennon: Jealous Guy

Well, related to the above, maybe John Lennon had issues, because he wrote this very pretty ballad about a guy lamenting the way he hurt his lover and he seems to have BPD.

7. Halsey: Gasoline

This woman describes what could be a bad case of self destructive BPD, even though Halsey’s Wikipedia entry says she actually suffers from Bipolar Disorder.

8. Shawn Colvin: Sunny Came Home

A pretty murder ballad about a woman who suffered a BPD psychotic break and snapped. She may have been a psychopath too since the murder was premeditated.

9. Limp Bizkit: Behind Blue Eyes

The singer is clearly a self-aware narcissist.  Thanks to Akram for this suggestion!

10. Sia: Breathe Me

Poignant ballad about a young woman suffering with BPD.(Like Halsey above, Sia Furler’s Wikipedia entry states she actually suffers from Bipolar Disorder)

11. Kelly Clarkson: Because of You

Emotional ballad that portrays Clarkson as a young woman who suffers from emotional problems, possibly BPD.   I’ve included the regular video because of the story it tells. She meets her child (true) self, who helps her to remember her narcissistic parents who caused her to develop severe self esteem problems.   The video is also interesting in that Clarkson is shown periodically in what appears to be a house of mirrors.  Clarkson appears to be in tears at the end.

If you enjoyed this post, please check out my other BPD/NPD song lists:

20 Songs About Narcissists (#s 1 — 10)

20 Songs About Narcissists (#s 11 — 20)

12 More Songs About Narcissists, Part one

12 More Songs About Narcissists, Part two

11 Songs About Borderline Personality Disorder

If you have a song suggestion that you don’t see on my lists, please suggest it in the comments and I might include it in a future list.

The 8 Worst Types of Blog on the Internet.

your_blog_sucks

One of my favorite websites is Cracked.com. Since I blog a lot about blogging, and “enjoy” bad blogs as much as the folks over at Cracked, I want to share this countdown with my interested readers. I’m well aware that by doing this, however, I’m guilty of being a “Parrot” (see #5), at least sometimes.

Let the laughs begin.

The 8 Worst Types of Blog on the Internet
By Chris Bucholz, posted July 26, 2011 for Cracked.com

Back in 2007, when the Internet was young, a plucky and ambitious group of hellions going by the name “Cracked.com” launched a feature on their site called the Cracked Blog. There, an elite team of barely legal humorists posted their thoughts about themselves, the state of society and semi-popular television programming. It was, in every sense, marvelous — every word a bolt of golden silk, hanging in an eternal summer breeze. But time passed, and the bloggers started getting worn out, tired with the hectic pace of updating multiple times a day. They began writing longer posts that appeared less frequently, eventually shape-shifting into a MILF-ish group whom we now call the Cracked Columnists. By late 2008, the Cracked Blog was dead, a loss which would soon rattle the world’s economy to its core. But it turns out that despite Cracked’s wholesale abandonment of the medium, blogging didn’t die out at the same time. Since then, many different blogs have continued to thrive and evolve. There are blogs about video games and blogs about food, and even a blog where there are pictures of a cat saying things. This is all well and good, but unfortunately, not all blogs have achieved such lofty feats. Many, in truth, suck all sorts of balls. Below is a list of some of the worst examples of how the blog format has been misused.

#8: The “Let’s Start a Blog” Blog

dear_diary

You know what these are like. The first post (which still hasn’t scrolled off the front page) says something like “Test” or “I Have A Blog!” The next three posts are a little less focused. And then nothing. It’s a problem of access, or too much of a good thing. A blog is a place to say something, and even though they’re freely available to anyone who can fog a mirror, this does not imply that all mirror-foggers have something to say.*

Read the rest of this post here.

Start the New Year with a (genuine) smile.

thisistheday

I’ve always railed against the fake kind of happiness whose intent is to diminish, belittle, and avoid responsibility or compassion, but there’s certainly nothing wrong with a little authentic positivity. When you really think about it, there are always things to be grateful for, no matter how seemingly insignificant they are.
So let’s start the new year thinking of things to be grateful for.

(via Tessa over at Tessa Can Do It.)

My list of 10 things that make me happy:

1. My relationship with God
2. My church
3. My empathetic therapist
4. My incredible son and daughter
5. My 2 cats
6. my small but cozy home
7. my 2 blogs, one which has grown enough I make a little money from it (about $40 a month from ads)
8. my ability to write what I feel and write it well (most of the time)
9. music — almost all kinds
10. my insight into myself (even my therapist is impressed)

Music always lifts my soul, so here’s a few of my favorite mood-lifting songs (this is by no means all of them!)

This ’90s rock hit, meant ironically or not, always makes me feel better even when I’m at my lowest.

I think James Taylor was talking about God here:

This emotional ballad helped me get through some really rough times.

I never grow tired of this huge dance hit from about 2 years ago because it’s just such a great song with a positive vibe and it makes me want to turn somersaults all over my house (which I can’t do but I still want to!)

13 things you probably didn’t know about me.

1. My first goal was to be a professional photographer. Now it’s one of my son’s goals (and he actually got a job photographing a birthday party and a wedding).

photographer

2. I’m a converted Catholic but have always been (and still am) drawn to Eastern thought and practices such as meditation and chakra balancing. I still keep my laughing Buddha for good luck. I’m definitely a Christian though.

3. I’ve been reading the Bible more lately but still find it hard to relate to a lot of it or apply it to my life. I’ve never actually read the whole Bible though. One of these days I plan to do so.

bible_study

4. I used to do astrological charts for pocket money when I was in high school.

5. I used to be a big American Idol fan (thanks to my daughter who was addicted to it some years ago).   My favorite contestant was Adam Lambert.

adam_lambert

6. Speaking of which, my kids attended high school with Caleb Johnson, the winner in 2014. They did not know he could sing, apparently no one did.

7. Until I had kids, I wanted to have four of them. Two was plenty.

Mom-and-4-kids-1

8. At one point, my ex and I had 15 cats (we used to show cats).

9. I was on Candid Camera (the old black & white one) when I was about 5. To my knowledge, there’s no record of this anywhere. It was random footage of little kids eating hot dogs. I think this might have been the first reality show.

candid_camera

10. I met Woody Allen 3 times (accidentally) when I lived in the New York area. Once was on my 16th birthday. He signed a napkin and wrote “Happy Birthday” on it. I also met Joni Mitchell in a ladies’ room in Greenwich Village.

11. I auditioned to be in the movie “Fame” but didn’t get a part because my dancing skills suck and my singing isn’t much better. But I did get to try out after waiting outside for about 6 hours and met some cool people standing in line that day.  NEXT!

Film - Fame

Film Title:FAME Year: 1980 Dir: PARKER, ALAN

12.  I used to model for confession magazines like True Story and True Love.   One time I had to depict a beggar girl (the story was about a throwaway teen) and another time, a pregnant girl fighting with her mother (the mom was my real mother in the photo LOL).   Unfortunately I don’t have any of these photos anymore.  I’m still trying to find at least one of them on Google.

13.  I’m distantly related to both William the Conqueror and Pocahontas.

I just realized how many of these have to do with close brushes with famous people or the concept of fame itself. I really don’t care much about those things, but it’s always a good icebreaker.

A Guide to Crying in Public.

goodplacetocryCredit: cryinginpublic.com — part of a series of art installations in Hong Kong, 2013 

Funny and useful if you’re the type who cries easily in public places.
I actually wish I had this problem. I have to work hard at it to even cry in private. But if I did have this problem (or if I ever do again), I’d be referring to this list.
I especially enjoyed the reference to losing your sh*t because your husband is a manipulative narcissist. :mrgreen:

A Guide to Crying in Public
By Cassie Murdoch for The Hairpin

Unless you’re one of those lucky people who lives in the middle of nowhere and never has to leave your house, chances are at some point you’ve had a mini-breakdown in a public place. It happens to us all! Normally it’s not anything earth-shattering that brings it on — perhaps you’ve had a particularly crappy day at work, or maybe you’re feeling extra tired because you had one too many glasses of free wine at that happy hour thing last night and then stayed up until four in the morning worrying that you’re going to spend the rest of your life alone? But sometimes it is actually a more serious/horrible thing, like your boyfriend tells you he’s been cheating on you in the cereal aisle of a grocery store or the doctor calls you at the office and tells you to come in for some scary test.

No matter what puts you in a fragile state, once you’re there it doesn’t take much to push you over the edge. One micromanage-y email from your boss or a funny look from a stranger on the street or the wrong song popping up on your iPod and the camel’s back is broken. It doesn’t matter that you’re standing in full view of 200 other commuters, your tears (or full-on wracking sobs) cannot be stopped. It feels terrible, but there’s no shame in it! You just have to ride it out and do what you can to minimize the damage.

First things first: When you find yourself on the brink of one of these emotional tornados, the best thing to do is the same thing you should do during an actual tornado: seek shelter. Never be shy about bolting from any kind of social situation if you feel tears welling up. Lie and say you’ve got an urgent phone call you have to take. Or, if you’re in some kind of professional meeting, excuse yourself by saying you don’t feel so well. I generally think it’s better for coworkers/clients to think you’ve got a stomach bug than to start guessing about what personal drama is making you cry. Wherever you are, don’t worry about what people will think, just make something up and get out of there.

Read the rest of this article here.

How to write every Christmas song ever.

writing_christmassong

Want to write a Christmas song? My son wrote up these 7 easy tips today for doing so.

1. Begin with sleigh-bells, fade in instrumentation and use sleigh bells as an accent. Fade out with sleigh bells.

2. Rhyme snow and mistletoe.

3. Rhyme “time of year” and “Christmas cheer”. Bonus points if it’s in the chorus.

4. Talk about the children and how happy or excited they are about this magical time of year. Do it at random for extra cringe.

5. Melodically, lyrically, or structurally rip off any holiday classic at some point throughout the song.

6. Sing about snow, even when you live in a hot area that doesn’t get snow.

7. Make it sound as in-front-of-the-fireplace-sipping-hot-cocoa cheesy as possible.

8. Be sure to use words like “holly”, “merry”, “cheer”, “tidings”, “jolly”, etc even if you’ve never once naturally used it in conversation.

12 weird things you might see a narcissist do.

It’s been several months since I posted this and since I haven’t written anything new about narcissism in a few days (I’m a little burned out on narcissism right now, to be perfectly honest–but I’m sure that’s temporary), I thought I’d repost this one since it seems to be getting some traction and it’s also one of my favorite posts.
These are all red flags not commonly mentioned and you may not know about, but they can help you identify a potential narcissist.

Be sure to also click on the link at the bottom of the article (5 More Weird Things You Might See a Narcissist Do).

Lucky Otters Haven

the_color_9

There are some strange things I’ve noticed narcissists do that aren’t usually mentioned as symptoms of their disorder, but seem to be common enough perhaps they should be included as additional criteria for NPD.

If you know someone who does only one or two of these things, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re a narc, but if they do several of them regularly and also seem to fit the more well-known criteria for NPD, these things could be red flags to watch out for.

1. They don’t blink when they look at you.

googly_eyes

Some narcs have a penetrating, predatory gaze. If a person of the opposite sex looks at you this way, you may take it as sexual interest (and it could be), but watch carefully: if they do not blink this could mean they are sizing you up as prey. Whether they blink or not, if their stare makes you…

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Movies about narcissism and psychopathy (new header topic)

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I have so many reviews and commentaries about movies that portray narcissism and other Cluster B disorders such as BPD that I realized it needed to be a topic in the header.
I am not including documentaries in this list, just theatrical films.

Narcissism and Psychopathy

“Risky Business” (1983)

“Ordinary People” (1980)

“Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” (1986)

“We Need to Talk About Kevin” (2011)

Article from another source about movies that portray NPD.
A Streetcar Named Desire
Black Swan
Lucy in the “Peanuts” comic strips (I know it’s not a movie, relax)
Gaslight
Mommie Dearest
Schindler’s List

Borderline Personality Disorder

“Welcome to Me” (2015)

“Mary Jane Harper Cried Last Night” (1977 TV movie)

Other

“Inside Out” (2015) — not really about narcissism, but about emotions and how they work.