A bit late, but thank you, Alabama, for getting Doug Jones, a good man who will be wonderful for your state and for the entire country, to a seat in the Senate!
I never cared much about state elections before, but this one was so important for our democracy! I couldn’t have been more overjoyed if it was a presidential election and my man or woman won!
Doug’s win was all the more special because yours is such a deep red state and you, the good people of Alabama, finally turned it Blue on Tuesday night. What a nail-biter that night was, but you did it! You showed America you stand by what’s right. Maybe we’ve underestimated you.
I woke up thinking about this song, one I’ve always liked, so I’d like to dedicate it to the People of Alabama who put patriotism over party and did the almost impossible this week. A giant step for Alabama, a giant step for the country. Thank you!
I think the blue waves in Alabama (and Virginia) are the start of a huge blue tsunami coming in 2018. Trump and the GOP better be ready! We’re coming to take back our country and American values!
Johnny Cash’s masterpiece “Hurt” is actually a cover written by Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails, and is probably the most depressing song ever about what seems to be Borderline Personality Disorder (probably with sociopathic tendencies). The lyrics and Cash’s delivery capture the emptiness and deep despair that every Borderline feels deep inside. When he recorded “Hurt,” he had already been given only 18 months left to live by his doctors (he suffered from a rare degenerative disease and diabetes).
This is another one of those songs that’s good for cathartic crying. I posted the lyric video so you can read all the words (even though Johnny’s enunciation is perfectly understandable).
I was going to make this song this week’s Monday Melody, but I couldn’t wait to put it up now.
Due to the enormous popularity of my previous articles about this topic (both of which now appear at the top of page one of Google–thanks everyone for making these so popular!), I’m adding ten more songs about narcissists today. Music and narcissism go together well– that’s one good thing narcissism has going for it, I guess. 🙂
The Songs.
1. “The Backstabbers” — The O’Jays
It’s very difficult to find songs about narcissists/psychopaths prior to the 1980s, but here’s an excellent one from the early 1970s.
2. “Ain’t It Fun” — Paramore
Catchy pop offering a badass challenge to a narcissist’s gameplaying.
3. “You Don’t Own Me” — Lesley Gore
Here’s another oldie (from the early ’60s) about a young woman involved with a narcissistic man.
4. “Mr. Know It All” — Kelly Clarkson
A modern take on Lesley Gore’s lament.
5. “Shadowboxer” — Fiona Apple Apple’s musical poetry eloquently…
I know this type of music is just commercial pop-country, and probably manipulative as hell, but dammit, I don’t care — this song makes me cry.
Preacher said he died too young
Over there totin’ that gun
For Uncle Sam and our freedom
Mom and Daddy dressed in black
They folded up that flag
Handed it to dad
Started prayin’
Yeah he went out 21 guns blazin’
An’ that’s One Hell of an Amen
That’s the only way to go
Fightin’ the good fight
Til the Good Lord calls you home
And so be well my friend
Til’ I see you again
This is our last goodbye
But it’s a Hell of an Amen, Amen
Doctor said he ain’t got long
He just smiled said bring it on
If you think I’m scared
You got me all wrong
A little cancer can’t break me
My heart’s right and I believe
We all hit our knees
Started prayin’
Naw he never gave up
Said the Good Lord’s waitin’
An’ that’s One Hell of an Amen
That’s the only way to go
Fightin’ the good fight
Til the Good Lord calls you home
So be well my friend
Til’ I see you again
Yeah this is our last goodbye
But it’s a Hell of an Amen
So be well my friend
Til’ I see you again
This is our last goodbye
But it’s a Hell of an Amen
Here’s a popular country pop song that has more meaning than most current offerings in this genre. I posted the lyric video because I think they’re special. There are those times in our lives we remember many years later because they still remind us that sometimes even the most humdrum life can surprise us with moments of perfect happiness. Those memories keep us going even when the present and future look bleak.
If I played guitar I sure would love to learn how to play this song.
Everyone who reads this blog knows I’m a huge music fan, so I thought I’d start a series of songs about the experience of being Borderline (or being in relationships with Borderlines), as I already have with songs about Narcissism.
Here are 11 songs to get started. I’ll do another one of these later.
I tried to include the lyric videos whenever possible.
1. Green Day: Boulevard of Broken Dreams
A huge 2005 comeback hit by the alternative rock band. I think this song really captures the horror and loneliness of what it’s like to have BPD.
I’m walking down the line that divides me somewhere in my mind
One the borderline of the edge and where I walk alone
Read between the lines what’s fucked up and everything’s alright
Check my vital signs to know that I’m still alive and I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
My shadow’s the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart’s the only thing that’s beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there would find me
Til then I walk alone
These lines pretty much say it all. It’s a great song.
2. Three Days Grace: I Hate Everything About You
The early 2000’s seemed to have a surplus of songs that described Borderline-like mental conditions. Three Days Grace seemed to specialize in these sort of songs. Here is a song that describes the “splitting” (black and white thinking) Borderlines tend to do in relationships, as well as idealization/devaluation of a lover.
3. Katy Perry: Hot and Cold
A poppier, less serious song about the crazymaking rapid mood swings and tendency toward splitting Borderlines tend to do and the instability of their relationships. Here, Perry is singing to her BPD lover. (Although the word “Bipolar” is mentioned in the song, the lover’s moods swing too rapidly for it to be Bipolar I Disorder, which is characterized by long-term severe mood changes.
4. David Nail: Whatever She’s Got
The bro-country singer seems to be singing about his girlfriend who displays the unpredictable rapid mood swings of someone with BPD.
5. The Offspring: Self Esteem
Classic early ’90s rocker about a guy who may be a Borderline who appears to be involved with a girl with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Or she could be an abusive Borderline. It’s hard to tell. Anyway, they’re both pretty messed up in the head. I’d say their relationship is doomed. Enjoy the tune.
6. Meat Loaf: Paradise By The Dashboard Light
1978 classic rock song about a guy who appears to be dating a girl who has BPD (or is just extremely demanding and high maintenance, which probably indicates BPD or Histrionic personality disorder anyway).
The girlfriend’s lyric: Stop right there!
I gotta know right now, do you love me?
Will you love me forever? Do you need me?
Will you never leave me?
Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life?
Will you take me away and will you make me your wife?
I gotta know right now before we go any further
Do you love me? And will you love me forever?
What’s it gonna be, boy? Come on
I can wait all night
What’s it gonna be, boy? Yes or no
What’s it gonna be, boy? Yes or no
7. Hurt: Johnny Cash
Some of the most eloquent (and depressing) descriptive lyrics ever. Warning: this song may be extremely triggering.
8. Meredith Brooks: Bitch
The lyrics tell it all. No further editorializing necessary.
9. Radiohead: Creep
The “creep” in this song has either BPD or possibly covert (“vulnerable”) Narcissism. He seems to be severely conflicted between dismally low self esteem and pathological envy. He idealizes his lover and hates her for being “more” than he is. Whatever disorder he has, the self hatred and excruciating pain of his disordered mind is evident.
10. Hole: Doll Parts
The lyrics to “Doll Parts” mirror “Creep” in many ways, especially the idealization/pathological envy of qualities she idealizes, and her desire to “even the score.” Once again, the subject of the song could be either Borderline or NPD. (Courtney Love actually has a BPD diagnosis).
11. Jason Mraz: Beautiful Mess
A tender ballad sung to his obviously Borderline lover.
Following is a mindblowing video showing how six recent bro-country hits ALL SOUND EXACTLY THE SAME.
In addition, the lyrics almost always involve a scantily dressed country girl (always named “Girl” and always dressed in cutoff jeans, daisy dukes, or tight ripped jeans), beer, a river or body of water, moonlight, a pickup truck with the tailgate down, more beer, said girl dancing on the tailgate, a horny guy, and enough beer to refill the aforementioned body of water should it dry up. It’s always summer and the radio is always on.
There’s some variety though: in a few bro country songs lots of mud is involved. Or even homemade wine standing in for the beer. A few have a slight hip hop influence. But the musical formula never changes. Ever.
For the best experience, maximize your screen to watch the video. Watch the black bar moving to the right across the screen through segments showing the exact locations of the intros, verses, transitions, guitar solos, 1st and 2nd chorus, bridges/breakdowns (I call this the “quiet before the storm”), drum explosions in the final chorus outre, the final woah woahs, etc. There’s barely any variation in their placement! This is as fascinating to watch as to listen to. It’s awesome. I could watch this 100 times. I kid you not. *
The formula is so generic and sounds so similar to most commercial pop rock of about 5 and more years ago (Nickelback, The Fray, Daughtry, 3 Doors Down, and many others) that I bet a mashup could be done mixing some of those older pop-rock songs with today’s bro-country you’d see no difference in the timed graphs in the video!
These songs are all ridiculously catchy even if you hate this genre. Bro country is barely country at all–it’s formulaic pop-rock with a banjo and a twang.
For more about the phenomenon (or scourge) of bro-country, read this article.
* My guilty little secret is I like bro country I like Lady Gaga.
My son a/k/a Also A Fox, has a music video show called “Radio Recall.” This video, originally posted on his channel on Youtube but due to their draconian copyright infringement rules, had to be moved to Vimeo. When he did his 12 Worst Songs of 2013, they allowed THAT to stay up (it’s actually in 3 parts), but made him remove his 12 BEST songs to Vimeo. WHY?
Anyway, here are his picks for the 12 worst songs of 2014. From what I know of it, I think the music of 2014 was pretty horrific anyway, and I agree this list has about the most unlistenable songs I have ever heard, if you even call it music. Eh, maybe I’m just too old to like this stuff. But his funny remarks and cutaways make the video worth watching.
Stay tuned for his 12 BEST songs of 2014, which will be up around January 22.
Lucky Otters Haven 