“Narcissism”–Poetry by Sam Vaknin

Posted on January 18, 2015 by luckyotter

Sorry, but I can’t get enough of his poetry.

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/narcissism.html

The Toxic
waste of bottled anger
venomized.
Life belly up.
The reeds.
The wind is hissing
death
downstream,
a river holds
its vapour breath
and leaves black lips
of tar and fish
a bloated shore.

Strolling in the boneyard of my life:
bleached dreams,
mementoed ossuary of my insights.
On flaking fenceposts, impaled the child that I had been.
Peering from desiccated sockets, the Plague that’s me:
dust-irrigated, arid tombstones,
a being eclipsed.

How is this band still unsigned?

Posted on January 18, 2015 by luckyotter

This song, released by the brother-sister duo Galt Aureus on their album “Citadels” (2009) is hauntingly beautiful. I can’t believe they’re still unsigned by any label.

Enjoy!

Our Own Versailles Lyrics
If floods will come all our lives,
just climb the stairs, let the water rise,
we’ll build ourselves up to a towering height.

From the hollow of our hands,
all we’ve never had:

bright lights,
in our own Versailles,
everything becomes alive:
our own chateau tonight.

No starless nights for you and me,
we’ve always seen and dreamed then built what could be,

from the hollow of our hands,
fashion all we’ve never had.

bright lights,
in our own Versailles,
everything becomes alive:
our own chateau

bright lights,
in our own Versailles,
everything becomes alive:
our own chateau tonight.

Tonight- the stars, you and I will shine.

Lyrics found here

I’m frustrated.

Posted on January 18, 2015 by luckyotter

For old times’ sake–

This article was my first big “win” after I started this blog. I only had this blog for 8 days at the time I wrote this post. I’m not the world’s most patient person, and was frustrated and discouraged because my blog had no visibility and I only had 12 followers, and no likes or comments to speak of. It was so disheartening to work on a post all night, and in the morning I’d find nothing but crickets and tumbleweeds under the post. So I wrote this whiny little rant.

OM (Opinionated Man, for those of you who might not know him by his famous initials) , decided to help me out and reblog it. Because OM is hugely popular with an enormous following (51,000 followers last I saw) , I was overloaded with views, comments, likes and new followers that day. It kept me so busy all weekend I practically got nothing else done!
After this happened, there was no stopping me. I was hooked.

I have also worked very, very hard to get this blog to where it is now. At first I had to force myself to write and sometimes it was a chore. But I kept at it, and soon it wasn’t work anymore it was play. November’s Nano Poblano challenge helped a lot. But even by then I was writing 2-3 posts a day. Now I average 4-5!

Other people do the work of getting it out there for me by sharing it on social media, even if you don’t like social media yourself. Making sure to have all available social media buttons under each post is essential for that. People probably won’t bother “sharing” your post it those buttons aren’t there.

Then there is the matter of connecting with the right people, or having the right people discover your blog and promote it. Sam Vaknin has a lot to do with this blog’s growing success, but I didn’t recruit him for that task. I just lucked out by writing one well timed article about him he happened to like (if you can call a mutually beneficial arrangement with a malignant narcissist/borderline psychopath a lucky thing). Now he’s here all the time and reads everything, even if he doesn’t comment (I can tell by how many views per day are from Macedonia).

Connecting with other bloggers, especially popular ones, helps a lot too. Fivehundredpoundpeep at Blogspot has me on her blogroll now that we’ve become friends and her blog is pretty popular so I get a lot “referrees” from there. This blog also appears on Narcwriters at Blogspot and people come here from there too. The stats give so much information it’s mindboggling.

Everything else just has to do with hard work and writing as much as you can. If I don’t feel like writing (because sometimes I don’t) I still will post something short or cute, a video or a photo. I also make every effort to answer all my comments. Even if a blog has the best written articles outside of Pulitzer Prize winners, if an admin ignores comments (or doesn’t allow comments, which is something I will never understand), that makes visitors feel ignored and eventually they will get bored and go away. No one wants to be ignored.
Lively discussions are the key to any successful blog.

If you told me in September this blog would have grown as much as it has in this amount of time (I even qualify to run ads on the site now due to a sufficient amount of traffic) I would have laughed in your face and called you deluded.

Now the sky’s the limit.

Lucky Otters Haven

I started my blog a week ago as a form of self therapy and didn’t care if anyone read my stuff. Or didn’t think I cared. But I admit it: I do.

I read a lot of other blogs here at WordPress and some of them have thousands of followers and hundreds of comments for each post. Of course I realize most of these people have been at WordPress for a long time, and naturally those people will have more followers and comments than a newbie. Some of them may be professional bloggers who have paid for SEO and know all sorts of tricks I don’t to increase the numbers of hits they get.

But all that said, I still find it frustrating and disheartening when I spend hours writing a post and then another hour or so editing and trying to make it look great, only to come back…

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Winter twilight: Asheville, NC

Posted on January 18, 2015 by luckyotter

I snapped these photos in the Ingles parking lot while loading groceries in my car. It was somewhat warm today and sunny, and I just loved the look of the sky just before sunset. The photos don’t really capture the beauty of the colors in the sky at the time but it was magical.

Click on the photos to make larger.

Beware of N’s who use mental illness as an excuse to abuse

Posted on January 17, 2015 by luckyotter

I think those of us ACONs and survivors of narcissistic abuse who post on public blogs that are accessible to anyone need to be very vigilant and careful. I will never make my blog private or require you to sign in first, but due to that decision, I realize I am going to attract MNs and psychopaths whose only desire is to bully, make incendiary and false remarks, and play “divide and conquer” games within the community. I am willing to take that chance because I want this blog to remain as accessible as it is. I want people to feel welcome without having to be “approved” first or having to sign in, because I hate having to sign into any website myself and will usually bypass any site that requires me to do that.

If you’ve been following my posts, I wrote two articles about some drama that was going on between me and another blogger who allegedly suffers from dissociative identity disorder (DID). I provided links to the nasty, character-assassinating articles that were written about me and my commenters and followers on their blog. I was quoted extensively in their rant (as well as several of the people who commented on those two articles) and was practically accused of being MN myself. The things they said were hurtful, but I also knew they were lies and intended to upset me. If this person is a narc, they were projecting their own disorder onto me. And that’s just so wrong, but it’s what they do.

I am letting that go and do not wish to further antagonize this blogger and will just delete or not approve any further abusive comments from them. But in thinking it over, I realized that there are going to be people on the Internet who use their own mental illness as an excuse to be able to abuse and be nasty to other people. That doesn’t mean they don’t have a mental illness, but it’s possible to be mentally ill and also a malignant narcissist who wants to hurt those who speak the truth. I also think there are some N’s (I’m not saying it’s this blogger) who feign mental illness because that gives them an excuse to abuse. We need to be very careful of anyone who says they have a mental illness but then make abusive remarks based on no real information. N’s are out there, lurking our sites and reading.

Not all N’s are going to be abusive to us. Some actually are honest and want to seek help or educate us about their NPD. Those are the ones with insight into their disorder.

But there are others, who may feign another mental disorder (or sometimes actually have it but use it as an excuse to be nasty and mean), who can become trollish and try to destroy our communities with their vitriol or make us fear their wrath. I refuse to let people like that make me afraid to post what I want and keep journaling about myself honestly and openly. I refuse to let them squelch or discourage me in my desire to heal and help others. I am made of tougher stuff than that now, and I know God is behind me, protecting me from the bullies and trolls who may want to attack me and this blog and keep me from speaking my truth.

Old video but I still can’t stop laughing when I see this.

Posted on January 17, 2015 by luckyotter

This guy seems to have a love/hate relationship with his pet.

Willie ❤

He’s going to otter space.

Image

FAQ’s: Can you tell a Narcissist by his eyes?

Posted on January 16, 2015 by luckyotter

This is from a new blog I just found–and a fascinating and very creepy post about the eyes of malignant narcissists and psychopaths. The comments are numerous and I was shocked how many other people besides me have seen the eyes of malignant narcissists turn from their normal color into that dead, opaque black when enraged or when they’re devaluing you. It may sound crazy, but it’s very real. I have seen this look on several malignant narcissists. My ex and my mother in particular come to mind. I also think I saw that look once in my daughter’s recent ex boyfriend, who turned out to be a very skilled and charming psychopath.

One commenter said the change could be due to the pupils dilating when the narcissist is enraged, to the point that the iris is no longer visible. That does make some sense, but I’ve actually seen the entire eye turn black, including the whites, so I’m not sure how dilating pupils would explain that.

What do you think causes this to happen? An evil entity that takes over when the narcissist flies into a rage? Their own emptiness? Dilating pupils? Is the explanation scientific or spiritual?

The worst malignant narcissists have eyes that look like this all the time–shark-like, empty, soulless. And their stare is penetrating and unnerving. It’s the stare of a predator sizing up it’s prey. Their eyes aren’t always pitch black but they are always cold and predatory.

Elisse Stuart's Weblog

Cat_Eyes

Can you tell a Narcissist by his eyes?

This sweet cat would no doubt be offended at the comparison.
The individual asking Google the question used the phrasing “Can you tell a narcissist with his eyes.” I don’t think you can necessarily tell what kind of human being a person is, by their eyes.
I have only known one bona fide narcissist and I know what his eyes were like.

Some people are shy, they can’t look you in the eyes for very long. It’s not that they are dishonest, it just makes them uncomfortable, makes them feel vulnerable, to look in another person’s eyes for very long. Being a victim of a narcissist left me feeling fragile and fearful to let people see my eyes. As if, they would be able to see the pain that was written there.

Many people like myself have been harmed by individuals who portrayed themselves as…

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Shame on you, WordPress.

Posted on January 16, 2015 by luckyotter

I am getting so tired of the automatic default to the “new” stats page, which I hate. I don’t think it’s better than the old one, and is in fact much worse. The graphs are unattractive and don’t show visitor/view comparisons. The layout is unattractive and makes you have to keep scrolling to see all the stats, especially if you’re trying to do it from a Smartphone, the way I sometimes do during the day when I’m not at the computer. The old stats page was easy to read, seemed to give more detailed information, and didn’t require constant scrolling to see the stat you want.

I always click on “see the old stats page” but sometimes before it lets me do so, I have to answer a survey asking why I prefer the old stats page. I find that very annoying. I can’t believe anyone would like the new stats page better. Aren’t enough people complaining about the new stats page that WordPress will scrap it and go back to the old stats page, which is so much better?

Does anyone actually like the new stats page, and if so, why?

WordPress, PLEASE get rid of the new stats page. “New Coke” didn’t go over well either.

Spring is coming.

Posted on January 16, 2015 by luckyotter

It’s time for a little positivity. Something happy and inoffensive and unserious.

I love spring. It’s my favorite season. Not too hot, not too cold, and everything’s coming alive again after the long dreary winter and the world is suddenly full of color. The days are becoming long again and we can go outside without coats, gloves and hats. Spring works wonders on my mood. I’m usually in fairly high spirits, as much as someone with PTSD and prone to depression can be.

Fall is pretty but I don’t like it much because everything’s dying and the days are growing shorter. Although the foliage is pretty it only lasts a couple of weeks and then everything’s all downhill after that. I also start stressing about the upcoming holiday season.

I hate winter with all my being. As a sufferer of SAD (seasonal affective disorder) I find the short days, gloom, and darkness tend to exacerbate my depressions or even cause them. All I want to do is sleep the winter away. I wish I could hibernate. I also hate being cold. I don’t even like snow.

Summer is alright, but it’s too hot and humid here in the southeast and because I have cats that go in and out, every year I do battle with fleas. (why do they exist? what is their purpose in the world anyway?)

Spring may get tornadoes and violent thunderstorms but they don’t affect this part of the country too much and I can enjoy a good thunderstorm. Other than that, it’s the perfect time of year for me.

On that note, I’d like to share these photos I found. In just over two months, spring will be with us again!