Category Archives: child abuse

My fractured memory.

“Fractured Memory,” by Hanna Trussler, 2012 I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about my early years–childhood and adolescence. As many of you know, my parents were active alcoholics, narcissists (my dad more likely covert NPD or maybe Borderline), and … Continue reading

Posted in child abuse, childhood trauma, inaccessible memories, narcissistic families, narcissistic parents | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Does excess praise and spoiling create narcissists?

Many experts, including Sam Vaknin, think spoiling a child or pouring on excess praise (placing them on a pedestal) is actually a form of child abuse, because it does not mirror the child as who they really are, but as … Continue reading

Posted in child abuse, excessive praise as abuse, mirroring, narcissism, narcissistic personality disorder, parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Sensitive Children and the Adult Child in the Abusive Narcissistic Home

Originally posted on SITE FOR CREATIVE SOLUTIONS:
In a home affected with an abusive narcissistic parent emotions are repressed and become twisted.  Rules are built on shame, guilt, or fear.  Feelings are often not shared and when they are expressed,…

Posted in ACONs, child abuse, codependency, dysfunctional families, HSP children, HSPs, narcissistic families | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

This TV movie about child abuse was way ahead of its time.

Today I was thinking about a TV movie I saw back in the 1980s that has haunted me ever since. I decided to watch it again tonight (you can watch the entire movie on Youtube–it’s in seven parts; I have … Continue reading

Posted in "Mary Jane Harper Cried Last Night", abusive mothers, borderline personality disorder, child abuse, essays, malignant narcissism, PTSD, sexual abuse, TV movies | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

My son’s father turned from a loving dad into a monster.

My son at about 9 months. His dad doted on him then. Turning on a child who was initially loved and doted on is not unusual for malignant narcissist parents. If the child proves to be sensitive, highly intelligent, or … Continue reading

Posted in abusive fathers, child abuse, highly sensitive children, HSPs, malignant narcissism, narcissism, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic fathers, scapegoated children | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 20 Comments

The 4 types of narcissistic abuse victims.

It’s become clear to me that not all ACONs and abuse survivors are on the same page when it comes to their attitudes toward narcissists. Because we all are abuse survivors you would think there’d be more solidarity among us, … Continue reading

Posted in ACONs, adult children of narcissists, categories of ACONs, child abuse, codependency, narcissism, narcissistic abuse victims | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 22 Comments

The point of no return.

Last night Fivehundredpoundpeep disagreed with a post I wrote, saying that people who chose narcissism reach a point of no return when become thoroughly evil. She has religious reasons for this view (“reprobate” is a religious term that means the … Continue reading

Posted in abusive husbands, aging narcissists, child abuse, choosing evil, dysfunctional families, evil, fleas, malignant narcissism, narcissistic husbands, psychopathy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

The reason we became adult victims: what can be done?

The other day, I posted an article about the insidious way narcissistic parents can turn scapegoated children into lifelong victims. I was thinking more about this matter today (because I was feeling victimized at work) and I think I understand … Continue reading

Posted in boundary violations, child abuse, disrespect, establishing boundaries, invasion of boundaries, lack of boundaries, narcissistic families, narcissistic parents, pecking order, personal boundaries, scapegoated children, victimization | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Why family scapegoats become lifelong victims.

If you were scapegoated by your family, two things can happen. You can become a narcissist yourself (narcissism being an elaborate defense mechanism to avoid further hurt and abuse) or you will internalize the early message that you’re worthless, defective … Continue reading

Posted in child abuse, fear, golden children, malignant narcissism, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic parents, scapegoated children, scapegoating, shame | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 89 Comments

Why being a Golden Child isn’t so golden.

I was raised as an only child–the second marriage for both my parents–in a narcissistic family. Only children are in an especially vulnerable position in narcissistic families, because they must serve as all things to one or both parents. In … Continue reading

Posted in "A Child Called It", child abuse, codependency, Dave Pelzer, emotional abuse, golden children, inconsistent discipline, isolation, malignant narcissism, narcissism, narcissistic families, narcissistic mothers, only children, only children of narcissistic families, scapegoated children, scapegoating | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments