Not bragging, but…

Posted on April 30, 2015 by luckyotter

Why you see more ads here now.

Posted on April 27, 2015 by luckyotter

After giving this a lot of thought, I decided to opt for running additional ads through WordPress’s WordAds program. Here was my article about why I decided to run ads at all.

My primary intent for this blog is NOT to make money. It’s not as if I can make a living at in anyway right now. I also love doing this so much I’d do it for free forever. Hell, I’d PAY to do this! (Hopefully Comcast doesn’t get its way in this whole Net Neutrality fight and turn the whole Internet the way TV has gone, where you’d have to pay Comcast to be able to access your usual websites. That would suck so hard, especially for those of us who are…financially challenged.)

But my dream is to be able to quit my regular job and blog and write for a living. I made $20 last month ($46.85 total from January – March) by running the one big ad that appears under the first article. (I do not get to choose which ads are run or their placement, but I do have the option to remove anything I think is offensive). Because this blog is growing fairly quickly and I have decided to run additional ads, I should start making more money from this now. It probably won’t be enough to enable me to do this for a living right away, but it’s a step in the right direction.

I must confess I don’t care for the look of the additional ads, which now appear above the title of this blog and along the top of the sidebar (for the small ads) and another large one under the second article. I think it makes the blog look a bit tacky and cluttered. I certainly hope it doesn’t make loading this site slower.

Please let me know if you are having any problems with the addition of the extra ads, or if it’s slowing down loading for you. I’m not sure if anything could be done about that if it is a problem, but I would like your feedback anyway.

Again, I apologize for the cluttered look but after giving this a lot of thought, I decided it was worth it if there’s a possibility I could make a living doing this.

I write so my head won’t explode.

Posted on April 23, 2015 by luckyotter

Alaina, a frequent commenter on this blog, said she almost named her blog “I Write So My Head Won’t Explode” but decided it was too stupid to be a blog name.

I think it’s great. So great I decided to write an article with that name. It’s great because it’s the truth. If I didn’t have this blog and wasn’t able to write every day about the good, the bad, and the ugly, I think I would have gone insane by now.

Writers are by nature people with issues. We have mental problems. That’s why we write. If we didn’t write, we’d be drinking, drugging, sleeping all day or stuffing our faces with junk food, or engaging in any number of other unhealthy and self-destructive activities. I know I did until I started writing.

If you can write, you are blessed. If you enjoy and are good at any creative endeavor (writing, art, acting, singing, dancing, etc.) that can add something useful, entertaining, educational or beautiful to the world and at the same time provide an outlet for your deepest, most painful or confusing emotions, for the love of God, use your God-given gift.

Writing is my safety valve. It’s something I love doing that isn’t going to destroy my mind or my body. But it’s a discipline too. Sometimes I have to force myself to write, even when I don’t want to. I’m always glad I did.

As ACONs and survivors of narcissistic abuse, we also have a calling and a responsibility to educate others about what we have experienced. Nothing happens for no reason. We were given the lives we were given as an education so we could help others. Part of our responsibility as narcissism bloggers is exposing the N’s of the world who have nothing but ill will for other human beings–and we do that through writing.

Since my daughter moved out Tuesday night, I’ve been more depressed than usual. In fact, I haven’t been this depressed in over a year. It’s not so much because she’s not here(though I do miss her), but that she lied to me when she was leaving. I confronted her about the lie yesterday–she told me her grandfather had sent her birthday money in a card, when he actually did not because I called him and asked–and she explained it was a bluff because she thought maybe I had stolen it and was possibly trying to get money out of me (playing on my “guilt” for having “stolen” it).

I felt betrayed and hurt by her lack of trust in me as well as her lying to me in such a mean spirited way. It’s been bothering me since it happened. It made me worry that she may really be a narcissist and not a borderline at all. I started thinking maybe she was diagnosed with BPD so her insurance would pay for her treatment (I don’t think NPD is covered by most insurance companies). I really don’t want my daughter to have NPD. It’s a painful and horrible thing to face–that your own kid who you love more than anything in the universe, may be a narc. I’d rather believe she has BPD. Maybe that’s all it is. I hope.

Yesterday I didn’t even go to work, I was so depressed about all this. I lay in bed sleeping most of the day instead, which is what I do when I’m depressed. Of course that just made me feel even worse. I didn’t want to write, I just wanted to sleep and feel sorry for myself.

But I also felt like pressure was building up in my head and that if I didn’t write, my brain might explode. So I forced myself to write, and I did feel a lot better–I no longer feel stressed to the point that I think I have to wear a head truss to to keep it in one piece.

Why did WordPress get rid of the “classic editor”?

Posted on April 23, 2015 by luckyotter

I haven’t mentioned it, but for the past few weeks, I no longer seem to have the option to switch to the old WordPress editor. I’ve been forced to use the “beep beep boop” new editor, which I can’t stand. I’m really afraid WP might make the old stats page disappear too, which shows far more information and is easier to use (in my opinion) than the “new and improved” stats page.

Why does WP keep dumbing down the blogging experience, and taking away features that improve that experience for its users? I don’t know one person who prefers the “new and improved” versions of the editor and stats page.

What gives, WordPress?

I also noticed the StumbleUpon share button is no longer available. Why?

Here is my previous rant about these “new and improved” features. Judging by the comments, I’m not alone in my dissatisfaction and disgust.
Here is another one.

ETA: I finally found out what you must do to get to the Classic (old) editor.
Go to WP-Admin page.
Click on Posts–add New.
Too bad there’s no “switch to Classic editor” option anymore.

Apparently WP is dead set on forcing this “beep beep boop” editor on us in spite of an OVERWHELMING number of people disliking it.
Here is a screenshot of the poll asking what editor people preferred. Wow!

Please vote in this poll if you hate the new editor!
http://www.poll-maker.com/poll277402x1D5c4173-10

I finally broke 4K views per week!

Posted on April 19, 2015 by luckyotter

Click graph to enlarge.

The most views I’ve ever had for one day remains 862 (on December 25th of all days!), but I’ve never broken 4,000 views in one week before. 😀 I think it’s a good sign.

Search terms roundup #7

Posted on April 19, 2015 by luckyotter

Furry narcissists.*

My search terms for the past 7 days. My comments are in bold.

2015-04-12 to Today
n 23 Looking up Narcissist?
songs about narcissists 7
song about narcissistic mothers 4
is demons by image dragons about narcissist 3 Yes, a self-aware one.
joel victoria osteen graphic cartoon 3
songs about narcissistic people 3
http://www.afternarcissistabuse.com 3
vulnerable narcissists 2
celebrities with narcissistic personality disorder 2
the vulnerable narcissist 2
narcissistic stare 2
https://luckyottershaven.com/2015/01/10/seven-deadly-sins-by-deviantarts-marta-dahlig/ 2
* furry narcissism 2 Good topic for a future article. Thanks!
aspergers and not drinking alcohol 2
l ron hubbard in 1973 documentary 2
narcissist father playing the victim 2
offensive christian bumper stickers 2
reptilian aliens narcissism 2
narcissus’s death flower 2
luckyottershaven 2
thanks 1
beth the psychopathic child 1
narcissist at a funeral 1
vigil daffodil 1
sociopath vs psychopath 1
lucky otter museumof narcissism 1
do narcissists love their mothers 1
do narcissists cry 1
streaking naked humiliation story 1
https://luckyottershaven.com/2014/11/30/could-reparenting-actually-cure-a-narcissist/ 1
narcissim and hell 1
psychopath snake eyes 1
reparenting a narcissist 1
famous people with narcissistic personality disorder 1
step mom exhibitionist story 1
munchausen by proxy cases world map 1
benign narcissist 1
onion 1
my way narcissistic song 1
how to get money from my narcissistic mother 1 Tell her you’re buying something for her with it.
exhibitionism at home with son 1 OMG! 😮
where in the bible did joel osteen find that eve bore two babies in one day 1 Osteen said that?
famous people narcissistic personality disorder 1
narcissism is a disease 1
pitiful narcissist 1
gaslighted how to tell 1
beth thomas 1
vulnerable and grandiose 1
family withholding inheritance because i’m bipolar 1 That really sucks.
chain reaction cycles 1
narcissistic projection blaming 1
narcissists and holidays 1
rock songs about narcissists 1
edm clow vibe evil 1 What?
illusions 1
ate only children typically narcisstic 1 I think you mean “are” not “ate”
grandiose narcissism, manipulation 1
otter documentaries/ you tube 1
healing after narcissistic abuse pinterest 1
is ferris bueller the villain 1 No, he was the hero but a psychopathic hero. Still a good movie.
narcissist boundary violations 1
is there a cure for cerebral narcissisim? 1 Yes, a kick in the head.
boys facing exams funny cartoon images 1
famous case of narcissism in a criminal 1
psychopath unconditional love 1 Um…isn’t this an oxymoron?
david berg psychopath 1
help my son is a furry 1 Accept what he is. It’s not as bad as you think.
autism and narcissists abuse 1
cerebral somatic narcissistic 1
bon jovi behavior 1980s 1
narcissists make you feel crazy 1 I agree.
pictures of malignant narcissists 1
only child narcissism 1
optical illusions 1
paul wink scapegoat golden child 1 I’ll have to look this person up.
celeb women with narcissistic personality disorder 1
narcissism first appearance 1
i was just a toy for him- quotes 1
michelle duggar covert narcissist 1 Covert or not, I’d say she’s a narcissist.
paranoia quotes funny 1
sorry to a friend 1
my birthday is like my death anniversary 1 I am so sorry.
celebrities with npd 1
boundaries narcissists violate 1
narcissist stares at me 1 They do that a lot.
psychopaths looking into their eyes 1
i’ve been permanently discard narcissist 1 Consider yourself lucky. You’re better off.
john and beth thomas 2015 1
wordpress return to classic mode 1 Yes, PLEASE!
vulnerable narcissism 1
psychedelic father and baby pics 1 That’s a trippy visual. Are you sure you don’t mean “psychopathic”?
narcissist grouchines 1
hysteria victorian literature enema 1 Um, interesting.
only child of narcissistic mother both golden child and scapegoat 1 That’s me!
famous person with narcissistic personality disorder 1
narcissit cards roz chast 1
eyes set to kill song quotes 1
he knew he was a narcissist 1
sam vaknin gaslighting social media 1
bumper stickers sa 1
psychopath and their gaze 1
spiritual help for the narcissist 1
empath and cats 1
histrionic silent treatment 1
avoidant personality disorder brought up as scapegoat 1
personality change male late 40s racist, depressed, angry, paranoid, envy 1
what makes narcs sad 1 Losing their source of supply.
lonely girl tumblr photography 1
i’m a highly sensitive person and i have a narcissist mother 1 Join the club.
narcissist celebrity 1
reptilian gaze 1
cerebral narcissist husband 1
psychopath and marriage 1
hsp and covert narcissist 1
being gaslighted by sociopath who has sex online 1
univerty i get to get the fuck otter mn try to froget my scoohl .com 1 What?
psychopath gaze 1
marriage to psychpath 1
best friends are people who make us laigh little louder wallpaper 1
spring season 1
narcissism and pets 1
malignant narcissist 1
do narcissists have scary eyes 1
charlie brown personality disorder 1 If I were to diagnose him, I’d say he has Avoidant PD.
is michelle duggar a narcissistic personality 1 Without a doubt.
do malignant narcissists regret 1
songs about narcissism 1
natcissist zero sentiment 1
malignant optimism disorder 1
hsp and narcissism 1
narcissists anonymous 1
how to take control when you are being gaslighted 1
Unknown search terms 816

Why I run ads here.

Posted on April 17, 2015 by luckyotter

But don’t stop!

Fine, I’m a creative and sensitive INFJ who DESPISES this kind of stuff, but because I think it might help people like me, I really do need to write a little bit about the boring, mundane, business end of blogging.

A discussion came up under my last article, “Bloggers are Narcs!” about how to go about running ads on your blog. It’s a good question, because I think many of us who are blogaholics would love to be able to write and blog for a living, and running ads on your website is obviously a good start toward a goal like that.

I decided it might be helpful to some bloggers who want to make money from their site to turn that discussion into a whole blog post.

Three things to ask yourself before you run ads.

1. Are you serious about blogging? Do you post at least once a day? If you don’t, you probably aren’t generating enough traffic to qualify to run ads (which I’ll explain in a minute)

2. How do you feel about the look of having ads on your blog? If you don’t care about earning anything and only blog casually and you hate the disruption the ad would cause the pristine look of your blog, then running ads probably isn’t something you want to do.

3. Are you morally opposed to running ads on a personal blog, especially if it’s about a serious issue? That’s something to think about. This was an issue for me for awhile, even though I desperately needed any income this blog could provide for me. At first I thought running ads on a site like this would be a little gauche if not insensitive, but I decided to go for it when I found out it would only be one small ad per page and not that intrusive to the subject matter.

If you decide to run ads.

You have to sign up for the WordAds program WordPress offers. In order to do this, you must have your own domain name– that means without the “wordpress.com” in the URL.

I paid for my own domain name (you do it through WordPress and I think it’s only $18 a year) because I decided I wanted to run ads and make some money from doing this. The ads don’t clutter up the site or cheapen its look or mood, thank goodness. I would hate that.

Once you submit your application for WordAds, it has to be approved–which means you are required to have a certain amount of traffic (I don’t know how they determine how much is enough “traffic”). Then if they approve you, you get an invitation by email and it gives you all the instructions for setting up WordAds on your site (no, you do not get to choose which ads are run). You also have to set up a Paypal account to collect your earnings.

You also have to tell WordPress (via the dashboard) whether you want the ads visible to WP members who are signed into WP, or only to visitors who do not have a WordPress account. I opted for everyone to see them (you can make more that way). You are not paid by clicks, but by impression. According to the WordAds site,

[…]the more visits you get, and the more each visitor uses your site, the more you will earn. What you earn can vary greatly per blog, depending on the following factors:
–The amount of traffic.
–Where the majority of the traffic is coming from. (North American ad placements currently pay-out at a much greater level than international ads.)
–How many are using ad blockers.
–The actual ads that are displayed.

I have noticed that since January, the type of ads I see on this blog have changed–at first they were just little print ads that looked like headlines in the National Enquirer with titles like, “The Miracle Food that Can make Your Eyes Change Color!” Now sometimes I see sleek looking videos for big companies like Verizon, H&R Block, and car manufacturers. There’s a lot of local ads too, that would be different for you than it would for me. But lately I have been seeing fewer of the cheap looking print ads and more of the big ads, and i did earn more in March than I did in January and Feb.

For now I have to keep my day job.

So far my account has a whopping $46.85 in it (that’s over 3 months time–I started running the ads in January), and I can’t cash it in until it reaches $100. I’m hoping down the line to make more. But rest assured my purpose for this blog is not to make money, but to help myself and others. And because I love to write. Any money earned is just an added bonus and worth the the little bit of effort.

Here is the link for WordAds if you want to get started: https://wordads.co/

Narcissism’s Emotional Fallout

Posted on April 16, 2015 by luckyotter

Here is another great blog I found, and this is a great article. We are all at different stages of processing the narcissistic abuse that was done to us, and this writer points out that we should not take negative comments personally and as people in recovery, we may ourselves act testy or negative at times, even when blogging.

For me, blogging about narcissism is smething that makes me happy–even though the topic is a dark one. I love everything about writing and blogging about narcissism, even the emotional pain and yes, testiness and negativity that tends to arise from time to time. We have lived in an emotional war zone for most of our lives and it wouldn’t be realistic to expect us to be Sunshine Susies all all the time. Sometimes we’re going to be Debbie Downers instead.

Blogging about narcissism is hard, hard work, because at the time we are blogging, we are also doing deep self-therapy and painful emotions can come to the surface and cause us to say and do things we normally wouldn’t. But in spite of all this, I feel like this is my life’s calling and is leading to a future career as a writer. I have never been more deeply involved or emotionally invested in any hobby I ever had…and this is a hobby, but more, so much more. Read on!

In the Net! - Pictures and Stories of Life

I’ve noticed from time to time a tendency on some of the narcissism blogs that I read, for people to get a little testy about the things said about narcissism, narcissists and their victims. I have experienced testy commentary a couple of times and in one case, an outright angry response to a comment that I made – an accusation that I didn’t understand narcissism, that I didn’t know what I was talking about, that I didn’t know what it is like to be a victim.

Initially, I was hurt by the remark. I took it personally.

Reading, writing and thinking about narcissism is an emotional and arduous task. It requires a great deal of work, very difficult work that takes time, effort and sometimes, money.

When I first separated from my ex-narcissist, I went for counselling. I was fortunate on several fronts. First, I had a health care account that allowed…

View original post 413 more words

I love my lurkers!

Posted on April 7, 2015 by luckyotter

Butchcountry67 gave me an idea for a new post tonight. (By the way, his blog about living on the Canadian prairie with his young son is wonderful, so please follow him.) In my earlier post, “What Do You Like Best (and Least) About Blogging,” a comment of his really got me thinking.

Butch said (as one of the things he likes least),

[…]the uncertainty of just who is reading my blogs … not so much those that follow my blog, but those that do not and read it nonetheless.

My reply:
If I stop and think about the hundreds of strangers every day reading this blog–not fellow bloggers from WP who already follow me–but everyone else (and there’s so many more of them than WP bloggers!) it can freak you out just a little. I try not to think about it when hitting the Publish button, especially if it’s a post about a personal or sensitive subject.

But at the same time, it’s exciting and thrilling, because you never know what sort of important people who can help you (or that you may be helping!) may be reading your words.

I’ve had a few people read this blog or a post on this blog I never expected to in a million years.
Some examples:

1. Sam Vaknin was one of the first, and he even used to comment and helped my visibility so much for awhile (seriously, whether or not you like the guy, this blog would not be where it is today were it not for him, and Sam, if you are still reading, thank you!)
2. a researcher and Ph.D candidate from the University of Georgia who wanted me to help disseminate a study questionnaire. I’m still waiting for the results of that study and will post them as soon as I get the information, which has been promised to me and I do have permission to post the results.
3. Owners and admins of non-WP blogs that are well established in the narcissistic abuse community
4. various other authors of both fiction and nonfiction who I can’t remember the names of at the moment.

Sometimes I don’t find out until I check Twitter and find out someone I never expected favorited, DM’d me with thanks, or retweeted one of my posts (which meant they probably read at least the post concerning them). Two that come to mind are Eric Casaccio, director of the short film “Narcissist” and Christian singer Danny Gokey. Both expressed gratitude for my attention (and in so doing, helped me out too).

The 90-9-1 rule of online community participation. 90% of your readership consists of lurkers.

It’s such a cool feeling when something like that happens. It’s one of the highlights of having a slightly visible blog. You should have a Twitter account connected to your blog. It’s the easiest way to find out who some of your important lurkers may be and helps give your blog visibility.

You just never know who your “lurkers” may be. 🙂 Don’t be afraid of them–love your lurkers! It’s not your friends and followers, but your lurkers, who help your blog gain visibility, and you just might be helping them out too.

And thanks to Butch too, for giving me this idea tonight.

I feel like an explanation is in order

Posted on April 7, 2015 by luckyotter

I’ve been thinking about (and feeling guilty about) the fact I follow so many blogs, but rarely comment on anyone’s blog posts anymore.

It makes me feel bad too, because I don’t want any of you to think I don’t care about what you write or am not reading your posts. I am (when I can).

When I first started blogging, I used to read a lot of other blogs and comment a lot on other people’s posts, but due to the sheer volume of comments I have been receiving lately (and still having to work for a living, run a household, take care of pets, maintain this blog, sort through spam, write new posts, etc.), I simply cannot find the time to comment as much as I’d like to, because I’m so busy replying to mine.

I try to read other blogs when I can, but to read everything I want to read and comment on posts too, I would not be able to get any sleep! When I do read, I may “like” your post, but will probably not comment, because there just isn’t any time anymore. I’ve received so much inspiration from so many of you, even when I don’t Like or comment on a post of yours.

This is the problem I dreamed of having when I started this blog in September. Please keep the comments coming! 🙂