4 years of blogging!


WordPress reminded me of something today.

Four years ago today, I started this blog!   Wow!  It certainly doesn’t seem that long.

While originally a place where I could document my recovery journey after going No Contact with  my malignant narcissist ex-husband (and coming to terms with the upsetting realization of having come from a family of narcissists), over time it has evolved.

I’ve always included many posts covering other topics that pique my interest, intrigue me, make me think, make me feel, or make me laugh.  I like to post photographs (both ones I take and ones I don’t), memes, and cartoons.  Sometimes I just like to share random “shower thoughts.”

Over the past two years (it’s hard to believe it’s been that long), this blog has become more political.   Since Trump seems to fit the criteria for NPD or Malignant Narcissism, it wasn’t too much of a leap from writing about narcissism in general (or as it pertained to my family and other people in my life) to writing about the narcissism of a man who is abusing all of us from afar (whether we want to admit it or agree with that or not).

I feel like the first two years of immersing myself in the subject of narcissism and narcissistic abuse, and setting about my own recovery,  prepared me to better understand the much more existential and serious problem of Trumpism.

As far as this blog, I never stopped including posts about nonpolitical subjects, personal posts, photographs, and even occasionally a new article about narcissism or narcissistic abuse that has nothing to do with politics.   I cast the net wide for my own sanity, and I think doing that makes this a better blog.   It’s also more fun that way.

Here’s to the next four years!



New: translation feature!

I just added a Translation feature to this blog.  You can find it in the right hand sidebar, just below the ads and above “Follow this blog.”    I thought this would make things easier for my followers for whom English is not their first language or who don’t speak English at all.   The list of languages available is impressive.

I also have to admit it’s fun to see what this blog looks like in different languages.

Lucky Otters Haven is 3 years old!


Hard to believe, but it is!   Last year, on its second anniversary, I wrote a big two-part post describing all the ways this blog has changed, and posted photos (taken from Wayback Machine) of its evolution.   I’ve changed its look several times (though never changing the theme).

Maybe tomorrow or over the weekend, I’ll do the same again, but tonight I’m exhausted and all I want to do is eat, shower, and curl up into bed with a good book and go to sleep.

Oh, and it also just passed 2 million hits! 

I am no longer accepting emails.


I just had to change my contact information.  I am no longer able to accept emails because of the sheer number of them I receive and my inability to reply to them.

I would love to be able to answer each email personally but I don’t have the time to do that.   My friends already know about how bad I am about answering emails promptly, and sometimes  they even think I’m angry with them because days or even weeks pass before I reply.   Of course, this is my problem and not theirs, and is something I need to work on, but I decided it would be best to no longer accept unsolicited emails from readers who stumble on this blog and want to ask a question, tell me their story, or just need someone to listen to them.

I apologize if this seems cold or uncaring.  I do care about my readers, but I was beating myself up with guilt over so many unanswered emails sitting in my Inbox.   There are other ways to contact me though — this blog has a Facebook page and I have a Twitter account (both are in the sidebar).

There’s another reason why I’m no longer accepting emails.   This blog has grown big enough that I get a lot of spam, and I also want to discourage trolls or the possibility of opening up an email virus.

Comment policy:

You can always communicate with me via the comments under almost every post.   I will try to answer most comments, or at least give it a “Like” so you know I read it.

If you’re a first time commenter, your comment will go under moderation but after that, they will appear immediately.   With rare exceptions, abusive or troll comments will not be approved and you may be banned from being able to comment in the future.

I hope this causes no one any inconvenience, and again, I apologize for removing my email address and no longer accepting them.

This does not apply to my friends who already email me.   I’m not just suddenly going to stop replying.   You can certainly continue to communicate with me that way, but don’t expect a reply right away.



Newest Partner: The Purple Almond


So, I have my second Lucky Otters Haven partner:   The Purple Almond, a blog about healing illness through nutrition.    Purple Almond should interest anyone who’s interested in the different ways food can heal the body, and also just people who love healthy food, because Tamara’s blog also includes yummy recipes!   In addition, The Purple Almond includes articles about other types of spiritual nutrition:  music, meditation, and inspiration.

This is from Purple Almond’s About Page:

Welcome to my blog. I hope you’ll join me as I journey into the field of nutrition, more specifically using food to cure disease.

This blog was first opened the summer of 2015, and for the past year, I’ve been working on my Masters of Science in Holistic Nutrition degree program at Hawthorn University. I began my coursework there in September, 2015. Now, in November, 2016, I am much wiser and on the road to fulfilling my nutrition dreams.

This is something I’ve thought about for a long time. I read everything I can get my hands on and watch food documentaries whenever I can. It is my passion and I can’t believe I get to study it full time. Well, as the old saying goes, “Do something you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.” Many things fell into place at just the right time to make this possible, and I feel very fortunate.

I am of the firm belief that food can cure disease. I’m not talking just any old food, but good clean whole food from nature. I didn’t always feel this way however. One of my favorite things for lunch, as a child, was Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. I often snacked on sliced American cheese with french onion dip. So, what changed my mind and put me on the “food is a cure” path?

I’ll talk more about myself in another blog, but, suffice it to say, I was on the same path as most Americans, eating the Standard American Diet, gaining wait and slowly getting sick. I tried many diets and eating plans, to no avail. Then, 2 people close to me were sick, one with Grave’s disease and one with PCOD. I watched as both of them completely cured themselves by doing only one thing, changing their diet. I was amazed and intrigued. I began to read and watch everything, thus my journey into food began.

I realize that the name Purple Almond is a bit different, and you may wonder why I chose it. The symbolism of the 2 words together summed up what food means to me. Purple/violet, symbolizes, among other things, healing of mind, body and spirit, higher consciousness and awareness of self. Almonds and Almond trees are sometimes known as “the tree of life” and symbolize light and awakening. So, the name Purple Almond sums up my beliefs nicely, “Good, nutritious, whole food brings light and life to the body, awakening the inherent healing mechanisms within the body.”

So join me as I take you on a journey of mind, body and soul, while I show you how to heal your body from the inside out.

Please visit The Purple Almond and introduce yourself!   I’ll be adding her logo to my sidebar.


I am still taking partners.  If anyone is interested in featuring your blog here, please send me an email.


No guest post this week.

There will be no guest post this week because I don’t have one ready, but next week I’ll post a new one.

I’m looking for guest bloggers! (Round Two)


My Sunday guest blogs have turned out to be a success! I want to take this opportunity to thank the writers and bloggers who were kind enough to share their personal stories and struggles with mental illness, mental illness stigma, or narcissistic abuse on this blog. These personal stories turned out to be among some of my most popular posts, and hopefully these bloggers also saw a boost in their hits due to posting for this blog.

Unfortunately, it seems that I’ve reached the end of my list, and I’ve had a few drop-outs too. So I’m once again looking for people who are interested in writing a guest post for this blog.

YOU DO NOT NEED TO HAVE A BLOG TO WRITE A GUEST POST, and this invitation is extended to my lurkers as well as those who regularly comment.

The types of articles I’m looking for:

— Personal accounts of living with a mental illness
— How mental illness stigma has affected you
— Inspirational stories about how you have coped with or even benefited from your experience.
— New therapies you have learned about or are using

This time, I’m especially interested in personal accounts of living with mental disorders caused by early trauma or abuse, especially the following:

— Cluster B personality disorders (as long as self awareness and a willingness to change is present)
— Cluster A or C personality disorders
— Dissociative disorders
— Complex PTSD

I’m also interested in blogs by people with Aspergers or autism spectrum disorders, and anxiety disorders such as OCD, Panic Disorder, or Social Anxiety; and Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Since there were no posts about substance abuse/alcoholism from my last batch of guest bloggers, I’d be interested in those as well.

The rules are few. I don’t have a minimum or maximum word count, and you are free to submit your own graphic or photo if you wish. If not, I will find one for your post. I only ask that the writing be clear and the post is honest. Profanity is okay but should be kept to a minimum. The only other rule I have is that if you have a blog and write a guest post, that you reblog your post on your own blog (NOT re-publish it, just reblog it from here).
If you have already written a guest post for this blog, please give others who haven’t a chance.

Again, you do not need to have a blog yourself to write a post for this one. However, if you don’t blog, you will need to provide your email or link to your social media account so I can contact you. If you’re interested please leave a comment (with a link to your blog, if applicable), so I can compile a list from these. When your article is posted, I’ll share it to my social media so it gets as much visibility as possible. I’ll reply to you in the comments, so keep checking back after you have posted. If you want to go ahead and send posts to me now, my email is under “Contact Me” in the header.


Bloggers: share your stuff here!


Good morning, fellow bloggers! I’m taking a page out of Opinionated Man’s book of tricks and asking you to share your blog, favorite post, or most recent post here. I also feel like it’s time to pay it forward for all the help I received when I was new to blogging. This blog gets enough traffic now that posting your link here should give you a small boost in hits.

If I’m really impressed by your article or blog, I may reblog it or write a short post about your blog. So let’s see what you’ve got.
If this experiment has a good turnout I may do more of these in the future.

So where’s Part 2 of “How did Narcissism Get so Popular”?

I didn’t forget about Part 2 of “How Did Narcissism Get So Popular?” I apologize for the delay for those of you looking forward to reading it. It will be posted no later than tomorrow night.

I hate to do this, but…

one person

I hate asking for help, but I really need it right now. My 14 year old car is in need of serious repairs (I have a major engine misfire involving several cylinders) and my housemate is moving out and I haven’t found a suitable replacement yet (so I’m behind on rent too). I’m working longer hours but money has been very tight. It’s going to cost me several hundred dollars to repair my car so it’s in running condition. I’m looking to raise about $500.

If you feel like you are getting something from my blog, and wish to help me out, please click on the Donate tab in the header (under Nuts and Bolts: General Information) or just click on the link below. Payments can be made through Paypal.

Any help you can offer is deeply appreciated! If you can’t donate, don’t worry. I appreciate your reading my posts and coming here.