The first (and hopefully last) snow of the season.

snow_10717_1

It started to snow yesterday afternoon around 2:30 PM.   So it’s a good thing I decided to play hooky from work yesterday.   I can’t drive in the white stuff.  Obviously, I’m not a big fan or either winter or snow. I’m definitely a spring and summer person.

But hey, snow is pretty.  I took the first picture (above) around 7 PM last night, and the other two are from about 2 PM today.  Hopefully it’s all gone by Monday.   Some of it melted during the day.

snow_10717_2

snow_10717_3

 

 

 

Advertisements

I hope it snows tonight.

letitsnow

I’m actually hoping it snows tomorrow. That’s right, this hardcore snow-hater who has written entire posts grousing about its inconveniences and dangers, is praying for the white stuff to happen overnight. I want to look out my window tomorrow morning and be greeted with a blanket of white covering everything.

I haven’t changed my sentiments about snow. I still hate it.  The reason I want it to snow is because I don’t want to go to my job tomorrow. In fact, I’m dreading it.

Ever have those times, especially after a weekend or a few days away, where you absolutely dread going back to work? Where the idea of hauling yourself up out of your warm bed at an ungodly hour and battling traffic on the interstate to go to a place you really don’t like much makes you want to sob into your pillows in despair?

Well, I’m feeling that way right now.  Last week was a terrible week, and on two of those days I had to spend an entire day working with people I didn’t like. Not only that, but on both those occasions I handled things badly and didn’t exactly act professional.  I wasn’t able to hide my dislike of these two people. I’m pretty sure the feeling is mutual too. While I won’t have to work with these two individuals again, I’m afraid I might have created a reputation for myself of being a bitch who’s hard to get along with.  People talk.

hate_job

Normally I’m pretty easy to get along with. I’m usually pretty quiet and keep to myself. I try to stay out of workplace drama. I never had middle-school-like run-ins with people on this particular job before.   Until last week, I was taking pride in how maturely and professionally I dealt with a variety of personalities, some that are difficult.  The way I behaved last week reminds me of the way things used to be for me in work environments, when my emotions, usually my anger, got the best of me. I try to be mindful but this week I didn’t do very well. What on earth happened?

I think what’s happening is that my therapy is beginning to bring old traumatic events having to do with rejection closer to the surface of my conscious awareness. I’m getting triggered a lot more easily, more quick to anger and more easily offended than usual.  Right now I’m like a raw nerve. I have my DBT skills to help out, but right now they seem less effective than they’ve been.  That doesn’t mean I’ll give up on using them. Oh, hell no. I need those tools now more than ever.  It could also be that last week I just had the bad luck of having to work with two people who were just plain impossible to deal with and seemed to have it in for me before the day even got started.

hate_job2

I really just don’t want to have to deal with any people at work tomorrow. I’ll be honest–I really just don’t care for too many people. I also don’t like the way management runs things at my company (but that’s another story). I can’t look for another job until I have my own car (I’m still using the company car). I can’t take a sick day because I have the company car. I got my tax return, but I need time to look for a car that’s cheap and will run.

I have no idea what to expect from day to day on this stupid job. At first, the unpredictability of it seemed “exciting,” but now I just hate that aspect of it. This job causes me to feel so stressed out and on edge all the time. And very, very tired.

I know I’ll have to go back, but please, God, not tomorrow. Please let it snow!

Meaning in things we take for granted.

snowdirt

Today’s the fourth day I’ve been snowbound, after the big winter storm that hit the East coast on Friday.

I had to get to the store, and still can’t drive anywhere, so I walked the mile to the gas station. The weather today is fairly mild and sunny so the walk was pleasant and the snow is melted down enough to no longer make walking so difficult.   While walking I could see that the snow is beginning to melt and a few patches of ground are peeking through.

It’s kind of amazing what we take for granted under normal circumstances. I came across this patch of newly exposed wet earth (pictured above) and saw how dark and fertile the soil looked. Since it was under a stand of large pine trees, this soil is especially rich, having been fed by rotting pine needles over time. It’s a little thing that holds promise of new life in just another couple of months. Everything in nature has a story and is connected to everything else.  Just like all of us.

Going out for a walk.

snowwalking

I feel good about taking action about something I had hesitated about. I can’t stand having to do things like that, but once you do it, you feel relief. I haven’t been out of the house in almost 2 days, due to the weather, and I need to get out, I’m getting cabin fever. So I’m going to take a walk for about an hour in the snow and just forget about all the BS life throws at me.

Winter Storm Jonas update.

Winter Storm Jonas (when did they start naming winter storms?) has dumped about 2 feet of snow here in western NC. Most of the southern US and the Mid-Atlantic is getting slammed.

I took some pictures early this morning in this post. Here’s the view at 4 PM. (Click photos to enlarge).

snow_122_4

snow_122_5

snow_122_6

Jonas isn’t done yet. It’s supposed to keep snowing until late tonight or even tomorrow. A few minutes ago I let my 2 cats out in it. Cleo is nowhere to be found and my tuxedo cat, Sheldon, came skulking back in with the hairs down his spine standing on end. 😆 I wish I’d gotten a photo but he never stays still long enough for me to get good photos of him.

I’m praying we don’t lose power. Many people have. I did not prepare for this.

I guess I won’t be going anywhere today.

The view from my window at around 7:30 AM:

snow_122_1 snow_122_2

8:45 AM:

snow_122_3

It shows no sign of stopping anytime soon.

No white Christmas this year.

tropical_santa

I’m not a big fan of snow or cold weather, but this entire month has been unseasonably warm, and after two or three days of moderately cold weather (but still above freezing), the springlike weather is back. Her’es a screenshot of the weather forecast for the next week.

christmas_weather

As you can see, thunderstorms are supposed to move in tonight, with possible flooding or even severe storms possible–and stick around through Christmas Day. As much as I usually dislike snow, I really wouldn’t mind seeing a little of the white stuff on Christmas. Somehow, thunderstorms and rain don’t seem to fit the mood of the season. Maybe the weather isn’t feeling much in the holiday spirit. It’s just been a very weird month, weather-wise.

 

The scientific reason why the east coast has been so warm.

“So, I hear it’s gonna be a bad one this year!”

Today I was helping my roommate pack her things and cleaning the room to show to prospective new housemates.

Maybe I’m a terrible person, but I was feeling irked with her all day for seemingly no reason. I finally realized why. I don’t want her to leave! We’re never going to be BFFs, but she’s been a trustworthy and reliable housemate and I really don’t relish the idea of having to find a replacement who may not be as trustworthy and reliable. I also have to find one soon (so far the only possibility is a gay man around my age who can move in on the 9th). So I was easily irritated and not doing much to hide my annoyance and irritation while helping her clean and pack, and was losing my patience easily. I was less able than usual to be mindful and my BPD and covert narcissism symptoms were showing. :/

I also dislike change.

I know Stacey was just trying to make friendly conversation, because she probably saw I wasn’t saying much, and when I did talk, it was in abrupt, one or two word bursts. She probably thought I was mad at her (she always thinks everyone’s mad at her).

But through no fault of her own, she couldn’t have picked a worse thing to break the ice with. What she said pressed all my I-hate-winter buttons. Although most people would not have been triggered by what she said, I lost control and went off on her and even told her she was stupid and ignorant for believing the cliche. 😳

She said, “I hear it’s going to be a really bad winter this year.”
Because she’s moving to Florida, I almost took this as a kind of insult (“nyah nyah, I’m going where it’s warm and you’re gonna be freezing your buns off”). I know that’s not what she meant but I took it that way.

I apologized later and told her the truth–that I was upset she was leaving and that I would miss her, and was stressed about having to find a replacement quickly.

It reminded me of this post I wrote about a year ago about why that icebreaker (no pun intended) “I hear it’s gonna be a cold one this year” triggers me so much.

Why I Can’t Stand Snow

Lucky Otters Haven

ihatesnow

“Sooooo….I hear it’s gonna be a rough winter this year.”
ARGGGHHHH!
I hear this every single year, starting in about August. It drives me insane. First of all, how does anyone know how rough the winter’s gonna be? Weather forecasters can’t even predict the weather right most of the time DAYS ahead, never mind for the long term. Flipping a coin would probably do just as good a job predicting the weather. Whenever people use this phrase, I want to slam my head through a brick wall. Why? Because it almost seems like a taunt to me, as if they WANT it it snow all winter. It’s also usually said by someone who has four wheel drive and fancy snow tires. They’re prepared.
Well guess what? I’m not.

Sure, snow is pretty and all, and it’s nice on CHRISTMAS because it suits the season and on Christmas, most of us…

View original post 496 more words

New York street in the snow.

Even though winter’s over and I don’t care for that season, I’m still in love with this photo. (Click to enlarge)

newyork_street
NEW YORK CITY STREET VIEW PART 1–Photo Credit: Unknown Photographer
Matthew Jackson Facebook Page:
https://www.facebook.com/matthew.jackson.129357?fref=photo

Alright, snow, you’re pretty. Satisfied now?

snowyday

As much as I hate cold weather and snow, I have to admit this scene when I looked out my window today is beautiful. Sure, it means another day of not being able to get to work (and my water pipes still haven’t been fixed) but it’s a good day to sleep in and blog.

I might even take a walk in it later or let my dog Dexter run around in it (he loves the snow).

So much snow is unusual here in western North Carolina, but the weather’s been weird this year.