When people tell you to respect your family…


Image | Posted on by | Tagged , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Save our healthcare!

Republicans are taking advantage of all the media attention on Russia right now to secretly ram through their abomination of a healthcare bill that will leave millions — me included — without health insurance.     They are doing this without anyone knowing what’s in the bill, because they know it’s so horrible it will never fly if people knew what was in it.    It’s not a healthcare bill.  It’s a thinly disguised tax break for the wealthy. 
Well, guess what.  If I have to go to the hospital, I refuse to pay my medical bills.    I am not kidding.   I’ll send ’em all to the White House.   
In the meantime, until these compassionless sociopaths who will blithely let people die on the streets (and blame them for “not living a good life”) are defeated, PLEASE help save the ACA:
IMPORTANT: Please copy and paste. If you share, fewer people will see your post.
In reference to the Senate Republicans lack of public debate or information on their attempt to repeal the Affordable Care Act, also known as “Obamacare”:
After hearing about the midnight repeal of the pre-existing conditions clause, people have flooded Senator Elizabeth Warren’s office with calls, as well as Speakers Ryan and McConnell. Sen Warren’s staff say that what would help THE MOST is calling the 5 Republican senators who have broken away from the GOP in an attempt to slow down of the repeal. Tell them how much you appreciate their efforts:
Senator Bob Corker – (202) 224-3344
Senator Lisa Murkowski – (202) 224-6665
Senator Rob Portman – (202) 224-3353
Senator Susan Collins – (202) 224-2523
Senator Bill Cassidy – (202) 224-5824
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 10 Comments

Why do so many narcissistic abuse survivors support Donald Trump?


I read a post on a narcissistic abuse blog last night in which the blogger expressed concern and confusion over Ollie Matthew’s support of Donald Trump.   For anyone who doesn’t know who Ollie Matthews is, he has a popular Youtube channel for survivors of narcissistic abuse and was himself raised by narcissists.   Lately he’s been posting videos that defend Trump’s narcissism by calling it “confidence” and making other excuses for the things Trump does and says.   His channel has been losing original subscribers, since so many victims are so triggered by this president and can’t understand Matthews’ need to defend and support a man who is probably the biggest narcissist in the world, and a sociopathic one at that.

Curious, I went to Ollie’s Youtube channel and started to watch one of his Trump videos and I had to turn it off.  I felt sick.  Here was a guy who has been victimized by people just like Trump and doesn’t exactly have very nice things to say about them.  I’ve found his videos– which express a lot of raw anger at “his” narcissists, particular his mother — helpful in the past, especially when I was newly No Contact.     Why on God’s green earth would someone who in no uncertain terms tells us to  avoid narcissists  like the plague be supporting a malignant narcissist who seems to have limitless power to abuse not just a few people, but millions — maybe even billions if he manages to destroy the environment or start a world war?

Unfortunately, Matthews isn’t that unusual.  I have come across several narcissistic abuse bloggers and Facebook group owners who proudly and unapologetically support Trump.   I don’t understand this.  I could understand a victim who is unaware of  narcissism or narcissistic abuse supporting him.   If becoming educated about this problem is enough to make a person take the huge step of going No Contact with an abuser, why wouldn’t it also make that person think twice before throwing their support behind a narcissist whose behavior is so extreme that mental health professionals are willing to break the Goldwater Rule and publicly diagnose him with NPD or Malignant Narcissism?

Honestly, I haven’t the foggiest idea.    Do they see Trump as a good guy?  Ollie apparently does — he says his narcissism is “confidence.”   Maybe they have Stockholm Syndrome and are unconsciously still drawn to abusive people.  Maybe they really agree with his destructive policies and don’t see them as destructive.   Maybe they see this man’s abusive language and bullying as a principled refusal to be politically correct.   “He’s being honest,” one wrote.     They apparently cannot see the gaslighting, the lies, the abusive and chaotic behavior and actions, the fragile ego, the vindictiveness, the crass self-centeredness, the scapegoating of people and groups who dare to criticize him or that he sees as “weak.”    Reading posts in support of Trump by narcissistic abuse bloggers, Youtubers, and group owners makes me feel insane.   I don’t understand it and never will.


Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

HBO documentary about social class.

“Class Divide” is a fascinating documentary that takes a look at the sharp socioeconomic contrasts in the quickly gentrifying Chelsea neighborhood in New York City between the wealthy students who attend the very expensive Avenues private school and their like-aged peers who live in the projects directly across the street.   Their stories and those of their families and neighbors interweave and the real story emerges — that these kids are not all that different from each other in their hopes, dreams and aspirations.



Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dry spell.


For the past few weeks, for some reason, I haven’t had a lot of interest in blogging.   Part of it is laziness, but the truth is I’m having trouble thinking of new things to write about.   I’m finally sort of over writing about narcissism, and feel like there’s nothing new to add to the subject.   I feel like I’ve moved on — but where to?  I’m not sure right now.   It’s not really writer’s block.   I can write, but unless I actually care about what I’m writing about, why bother?  I feel vaguely guilty about this but can’t explain why.

I’m deeply interested in political matters these days, and I think that shows.  I’m still reluctant to write a lot about the political situation, but I’ve broken my rule to stay away from politics on this blog several times now.  I’ve toyed with the idea of turning this into a political opinion blog, with a focus on the narcissism of our *cough* president, but for some reason I feel like I shouldn’t do it here.   Lucky Otters Haven just doesn’t seem like the right place to do such a thing, though I have no idea why.

My lifelong education in narcissism has prepared me for this presidency (whether that’s a good thing or not, I’m uncertain because it also tends to make me obsess and analyze things outside my control too much).   My education has certainly kept me from falling for the smoke and mirrors act and I’m shocked at what an accurate BS detector I’ve developed as a result of being a narcissistic abuse victim myself.   I never knew I had such a good one.

Although my interest in blogging has waned for the time being (I’m sure it’s just temporary) I actually had the most activity ever last month — and made more money from this blog than I ever did before (not that it’s a lot because it’s not).  That should be a motivator but I’m not sure it really is.   I don’t want to write just for the views and the cash; I write because I want to and would do it even if I only had an audience of a few people and made nothing at all.

This summer I’m involved in a couple of home projects, including enclosing the porch (the work on that hasn’t started yet).  I’ll be plenty busy with that, but I will post updates with photos as it comes along.   As for other things, I guess I’ll just play it by ear, and write when a good idea pops into my head, whether it’s politics, personality disorders, or anything else.    In the meantime, I will probably reblog or repost some of my older articles that I think deserve to be seen again.


Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 22 Comments

Hop on over the border, Vicente. We need you here.

God, I love this man.  Vicente Fox, the former president of Mexico, is full of snark and insights.  Here, he tells Trump why “Mexico is not going to pay for that f*cken wall,” among other things.    The jab about Trump’s Diet Coke drinking not helping with his weight is priceless.

Besides being uproariously funny, Fox seems to be compassionate, even trying to appeal to the child Trump used to be.   Unfortunately, a malignant narcissist as far gone as Trump is never going to have the insight or desire to “build a bridge across the oceans of time” to reach his child-self.     But I love the fact Fox goes there.

Hey, if Fox can’t run for President, he should apply as a regular on Saturday Night Live.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Quotes about Truth #MarchforTruth


These days, it seems like the truth is optional, even demonized.    Truth is the most important thing for a society (or a family, or any group of individuals) to be able to function and remain psychologically and spiritually healthy.     Valuing the truth is necessary for a society to remain civilized.  Any society that has a casual relationship with the truth or attempts to silence those who speak the truth (or that discourages or forbids critical thinking, creativity, and education — because all these things get at the truth) is on a slippery slope to becoming a dictatorship.

I would have loved to attend the March for Truth here my city today, but due to injuring my right knee a few weeks ago, I can’t walk long distances, so I wasn’t able to go.   Marches are being held in many cities throughout the United States and around the world today.

Since I couldn’t march, I wanted to do something to honor this day, so here are some quotes about truth we all need to remember and take to heart.


The only people who are mad at you for speaking the truth are those people who are living a lie. — Unknown

Morality is the basis of things, and truth is the substance of morality.  — Mahatma Gandhi

Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters.  — Albert Einstein

Truth is like surgery. It hurts but cures.  Lies are like a pain killer.  It gives instant relief but has side effects forever. — Unknown

I’m for truth, no matter who tells it.   I’m for justice, no matter who it’s for or against. — Malcolm X

Sometimes the truth hurts.  And sometimes it feels real. — Henry Rollins

Three things cannot be long hidden:  the sun, the moon, and the truth. — Buddha

The goal of education is the advancement of knowledge and the dissemination of truth. — John F. Kennedy

Blind belief in authority is the greatest enemy of truth. — Albert Einstein

Tell the truth, or someone will tell it for you.  — Stephanie Klein

The greatest advantage of telling the truth is you don’t have to remember what you said. — Mark Twain

You can’t change the truth, but the truth can change you.  — Hebrews 5: 12-14

The worst thing about being lied to is knowing you’re not worth the truth — Anonymous

Truth is so obscured nowadays, and lies so well established, that unless we love the truth, we shall never recognize it. — Blaise Pascal

In seeking truth you have to get both sides of a story. — Walter Cronkite

The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off. — Gloria Steinem

A wise man confesses his wrong, a fool defends it. — Unknown

Truth sounds like hate to those who hate the truth. — Unknown



Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 11 Comments

Friday evening drive into the mountains.


I was bored and needed to clear my head, so I headed into the mountains again.  I took the same route I took on Memorial Day.   It was later in the day though, so there was this wonderful late afternoon golden light that was just magical.

There was no one at the overlook where I stopped to take photos, and no signs of civilization at all, not even any cars on the road.  I felt like the only person in the world, and realized these mountains looked exactly this way thousands of years ago.   This is what the native Americans would have seen, long before there were any paved roads.










Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 7 Comments



Image | Posted on by | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

It’s World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day!


Image | Posted on by | Tagged , , | 4 Comments