If things seem pretty hopeless right now…

thomas-paine-quote-these-are-the-times-that-try-mens-souls

People are having a hard time right now. America is no longer a very nice place to live. And due to Covid 19, which we have not been able to keep under control because we have a president who scoffs at science and experts, other countries have closed their borders to us, so we can’t escape even if we have the means to do so. We have become a pariah state.  A shithole country.

The bullies seem to be winning, while those of us who want American democracy back are demonized and called terrorists and traitors and anarchists by the wannabe dictator in the White House and his fascist minions.  Of course, they are projecting.   They are the real traitors and terrorists, leaving nothing but chaos, death, and destruction in their wake.    But they seem to have all the power right now, don’t they?

We are a failing state, some say a failed one. We are facing adversity like we can’t even imagine:  there’s the constant gaslighting, projection, and endless lies coming from this sociopathic president and his lawless regime that makes those of us with a conscience and regard for the truth feel like we’re going insane; an out of control pandemic (that could easily have been avoided); the wanton destruction of our institutions, the dismantling of all our checks and balances, the rule of law, and the Constitution itself;  Trump’s attempts to dismantle the US Post Office(!!!) to benefit his reelection; a regime that refuses to listen to scientists whose idiotic orange leader tells us to drink bleach to cure Coronavirus; peaceful protesters treated like terrorists by Trump’s armed to the teeth brownshirts and far right militias (who are the real terrorists); the end of unemployment insurance for millions of people laid off due to Covid which is resulting in evictions and loss of health insurance; Depression level unemployment; a dying society that may well become a fascist dictatorship if Trump wins or steals the election (which he looks likely to attempt, with the blessings of his equally corrupt attorney general Bill Barr); and finally and most horrifyingly, the possible loss of all our rights and freedoms and everything about America that made it great if he succeeds in getting his dictatorship.  Now Trump is threatening to defund (end) social security and Medicare, which if successful, would leave millions of elderly and disabled destitute and without healthcare, leading to even more deaths.

It’s enough to drive the most rational person mad.

These are trying times.
They’re the kind of times that try our souls.
It’s overwhelming.
It’s exhausting and frustrating and maddening and terrifying.
It’s easy to feel like everything’s hopeless and fall into despair and apathy.

But remember: you are not alone. There are people who care.  People who share your feelings about everything taking place in the world, millions of them!  These difficult times won’t last forever, and we still have a chance of righting what went wrong, although it may take a long time and a lot of hard work. There are a lot more of us than there are of them!  There are millions of us and we are in the majority.  We are not as powerless as you may think.

What Trump and his minions fail to appreciate is that when a population feels like there’s nothing left to lose, and everything and everyone they love is under threat, that’s when they are at their most dangerous, and are most likely to rise up and demand change. People fight back when they no longer care if they lose their lives or their freedom doing so.
That’s how revolutions are born. That’s how heroes are made.

Right now, history is being made. We are a part of it.  We are in the midst of it.
We are not the first or the last population who have fallen on terrible times. Good almost always prevails.
Changing the world is our imperative.  Be on the right side of history.

But, first things first.
You have to take care of yourself before you can change the world.
So if you or someone you love are thinking of suicide or are just feeling depressed and alone and helpless, please reach out for help.

You can start here:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255.
Text Home to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line.

Please share with others.

God bless!

Choose wisely.

I saw this meme on Facebook.  It sums up everything I’ve been feeling about American politics lately as well as the Covid 19 situation here in America.

As a society, we Americans have made some pretty terrible choices.  We’re a supremely selfish society, bar none.   And everyone but us seems to know it.

Thinking only of one’s own comfort at the expense of our fellow human beings only winds up hurting us in the end, too.   No one wins.

moralitypolitics

Unemployment Hell

frustration

Two and a half weeks ago, the concept of having to apply for unemployment was the last thing on my mind.   But like most other “nonessential” businesses, the company I work for closed their doors until (or if?) this pandemic passes, and told us we could apply for  unemployment insurance.

I would have preferred to go in person and sit down with someone who would file my application for me, or at least walk me through things.  But they closed their doors to the public too, so I had no choice but to either call and apply over the phone, or apply online.   I don’t feel comfortable doing stuff like this online, so my first instinct was to call.  I tried to get through to the Customer Service number I was given, but I kept being kicked off after I selected “Ask a question about your claim” (the closest option to waht I was trying to do).  I wasn’t even being put in a queue, just rudely being kicked off and told to “call back later.”  I tried several more times and the same thing kept happening.  Have you ever been so frustrated you felt like crying?  Well, that was me at that moment.

Muttering a string of four letter words, I opened my laptop and went to the unemployment site.   I had to attempt to set up my account four times before it “took.”  Because of the incredibly high volume of applicants, I kept getting error messages or even being kicked off the site before I could even select a password.

The online form was dreadfully confusing, hard to navigate, and badly designed.   When I finally finished filling out everything (or what I thought was everything), and hit “submit,” I wasn’t even taken to a reassuring “Thank you for your application” or “You’re done!” page.  It just took me back to the questionnaire homepage again, as if I’d never filled out anything.  Was I in the system or not?  Did it go through or not?  Did I miss something? I decided to check my email and see if any sort of confirmation was sent.   Nothing.   I tried to call the number again, hoping to get a live person who could confirm whether or not my form went through.   But I was just booted off again, after hearing the “high call volume, call back later” message.  Why wasn’t I even being given the option to hold for a customer service agent?

Aggravated, I kept checking my email.  I logged back on the site, and kept getting error messages (I found out later this was due to the site crashing due to being overwhelmed by applicants).  Finally I got back in, and saw nothing on my homepage indicating whether I’d applied or not.   I decided to call it a day:  maybe I’d have better luck the next day. I needed a drink.

The next morning, there was an email waiting for me.   It said that in order to receive benefits, I would need to fill out a job search form.   I knew for a fact that layoffs due to Covid 19 were exempt from this rule.  I know for a fact I selected the correct reason for unemployment (layoff due to lack of work: Coronavirus).  So why was I being asked to provide this information?   Besides, who would be hiring?  And this was a temporary layoff, not permanent.     Maybe my form got changed somehow?  Also, how could I tell if my form even went through?  I needed help.  I felt like I was banging my head against a concrete wall.

I dialed the customer service number, and even though it was early in the morning,  I still got kicked out without even being given the option to hold.   I went to Google to search for any other possible numbers.  The first one was just the same number I’d been using.  Then there was was a fax number.   The third one was no longer in service.   I tried the fourth number, which was not for claimants, but for employers.   I decided to call it anyway.  Maybe I’d at least get a human who could put me in the queue or transfer me to someone who could help me.   Overriding their system somehow seemed like my only option.

After punching in a series of numbers in their menu, I finally was put on hold and told to wait for an agent.   After about fifteen minutes, someone picked up.  I told him the problem I was having getting any help from a person, and he was able to put me in the queue for claimant customer service.  That felt like a minor victory.

I knew it would be a long time before anyone picked up.  I had heard about how many people weren’t able to get through, or having to wait in excess of an hour or two to speak to someone.   So I grabbed a book to read as I waited.     Now, I have a smartphone and not a house phone, and because I live in a valley, sometimes the reception here is so bad I only get one bar or less.  Calls sometimes get dropped.  Even when I don’t get disconnected, at least half the time, the other party’s voice breaks up and fades in and out, so I have to keep asking them to repeat themselves.  Being a person who has never had a great fondness for speaking on the phone, it’s infuriating to me when that happens.

After the guy put me in the call queue, I was met with dead silence.   Did the call get dropped or not?  I would have welcomed some bad music right then just to reassure me my call was still in the system.  My phone was showing I was still connected, but was I really?   Finally, after five or ten long minutes, a recorded voice came on saying the call volume was very high and suggested I call back later.   Hell no, I wasn’t going through that again.  But at least this time, I wasn’t being disconnected after the “call back later” message.   So I waited. The message came back on again.  It repeated itself every five minutes or so.  I read my book.  I put it on speaker and went to grab something to drink. I read some more.  I logged into my application to see if anything had changed. My application was showing up, and I was still being asked to provide proof I was looking for a job.

I waited THREE AND A HALF HOURS before an agent finally took my call, but I would have waited all night if I had to.    My agent couldn’t help me unless I gave her my username and password, because without that, she could not see my application.  After she logged in, she told me that I had filled out everything correctly, and the “job search” message just meant I still had to submit a confirmation that I was available for work every week, but did not have to actually list potential employers.  There had been absolutely no instruction on how to do this nor was this requirement made clear.  So the agent walked me through this step, which turned out to be easy, but there was no way I could have known I had to do this, or how to do it.  She did say that my employer hadn’t submitted my “separation information” yet, but when I called my employer, I was told it had been submitted and that I should just wait.

I was certain this was going to be another problem, but yesterday morning, I checked my bank and a direct deposit had been made.  However, the amount I got was miniscule, less than half of my normal salary. Closer to a third.  It’s not nearly enough to live on, but at least that particular hurdle has finally been overcome and I can worry about other things, like how I’m going to pay my bills or if me or anyone I love is going to get sick with this thing.

A great nation we no longer are, if we ever were. We’ve now surpassed China and the virus’s spread shows no sign of slowing down or flattening out in this country. In the meantime, we get to see all our institutions collapse. It’s surreal.
I can’t believe we’ve come to this point, but here we are.

There’s not a lot we can do, except take care of ourselves the best we can, pray, and be there for one another. Try to stay well, and heed the words of Samuel Jackson: “Wash your hands, stop touching your face, and stay the fuck at home.”

How’s everyone holding up in this pandemic?

manwithcold

It’s scary what’s happening around the world with this Coronavirus pandemic.  It doesn’t seem that America is handling things well at all.  Not nearly enough tests are available, the entire pandemic response team no longer exists (thanks, Trump), many people can’t afford to get tested or treated, and of course there are the constant lies from our own government about COVID-19.  There’s also just a lot of misinformation being spread around, as there always is in a crisis like this, but that makes things even worse than they need to be. Misinformation ranges from nutty conspiracy theories all the way to “it’s not as big a deal as the media makes it sound.”  It certainly is a big deal, but we can’t believe everything we hear either.  It’s best to stick with trusted sources like the CDC or WHO for pertinent information about this pandemic.

I haven’t seen any toilet paper fights yet (except on video), but it is hard to find in the stores!  I should be okay though.  What is the deal with toilet paper anyway?  I hear bidet sales are up, and America may finally be catching onto an idea that is both more sanitary and better for the environment than toilet paper.   I’ve stocked up on a lot of rice, beans, spaghetti and peanut butter.  Not exactly exciting, but they are nutritious and will last a long time without taking up a lot of space.

I’m not under quarantine yet, but it’s likely my workplace will close soon too, as it’s “nonessential” work.   My son self quarantined:  he was here a couple of weeks ago, and on his last day felt a tickle in the back of his throat.  When at the airport, he coughed and they wouldn’t let him board the plane!   He was okay after that, and managed to get a flight the next day, but decided to quarantine himself after that for two weeks.   I’m trying not to worry about how I’m going to pay my bills should we go under lockdown or should my workplace close.

Like everyone else, I’m trying to practice social distancing (not too hard for an introvert like me!) and a lot of handwashing and using hand sanitizer.  I’m also attempting to avoid eating out, and learn to like cooking.

I wonder what’s going to happen.  The trajectory doesn’t look promising; there are no signs that it’s going to “flatten out” here in the USA.   I don’t want to speak of my fears of what could happen and put that out there.   I’m just taking things one day at a time, and trying to remain calm.   It’s incredible how we can be an advanced society one day, and revert back to Black Plague like conditions mere days later, scrounging for food and toilet paper.

coronavirus

Coronavirus cases worldwide.  The US trajectory shows no signs of “flattening out.” 

I’m impressed with Italy, which has been very hard hit due to its elderly population and a lot of tourism (which has now stopped, of course).    People are dying so fast that families can’t even hold funerals for their loved ones.   And yet,  Italians still know how to find joy, even though the situation there must be terrifying.   I’m sure most of us have seen the video of people singing out their apartment windows in the midst of mandatory, nationwide lockdown.

I think when all this is over, we are going to learn some hard lessons and change the way we live.  We will relearn such old fashioned concepts as community and being good neighbors to each other.  We will learn to appreciate the simple things again.  Most important, we may come to value empathy, compassion, and service to others again, over the greed and selfishness we have come to lionize in recent decades, and with any luck, this will spill over to our government, if we don’t become a dictatorship first.