I believe I wrote an article a while back with the same title (my conclusion — yes, they do) but this article is better and I like the way it doesn’t stigmatize narcissistic tears or the reasons why they cry as always insincere (it’s not always crocodile tears meant to get supply). Sometimes they just cry because they hurt.
My own article about this, written when I was still enraged at my own narcissists, took a much more negative and cynical view of the reasons why narcissists may cry.
By Alexander Burgemeester, for The Narcissistic Life.
Whilst narcissism is often characterised by bombast and a seemingly unwavering self-belief, there are times when even a narcissist may cry. Do Narcissists cry? It seems impossible but it is true. So how can someone who is so tied up with their own success, self-image and the presentation of themselves in their everyday lives suffer the kind of emotion or tearful outburst that is more characteristic of us other mere mortals?
Read the rest of this post here.
VS. 
It’s the 4th week of Advent, the preliminary weeks leading to Christmas that are recognized by the Catholic Church (and also, I believe, all liturgical or “high churches” like the Episcopalian, Lutheran, and Orthodox churches). In the Catholic faith, Advent extends beyond Christmas itself, to the Epiphany (Little Christmas), which is celebrated on January 7th.
I have missed the previous two Sundays, and felt like sleeping in today, too, but made myself go, because I always get so much out of the Mass, especially the Eucharist, which the Mass leads up to. Sometimes laziness wins though, and I always regret it later. I wasn’t going to let that happen again today!
As a pretty liberal Christian (even for a Catholic), I don’t think non-church attendance is necessarily a sin. I don’t think church attendance is necessary for salvation; only having faith is. Many people are able to live a Christ-like life and stay close to God and retain their faith in spite of not belonging to any church. They are self-disciplined: they pray every day, read their Bible, read devotions, and ask God for forgiveness when necessary. I’m not one of them. I need to have a church to go to, otherwise I get lazy and “forget” to stay close to God. I start slipping back into the “world” with all its shallowness and banality and fail to act the way Jesus did. I slip back into sinful and toxic thinking and start nursing doubt.
So today I went to Mass, and as always happens, I left feeling uplifted and peaceful in my heart. The Eucharist (communion) is powerful medicine for me. I admit I have doubts about some of the Catholic doctrine, and issues with some of its rules. However, my church seems to emphasize God’s love over the hell-fire and brimstone scare tactics used by so many other churches to get their adherents to comply, including some of the more conservative Catholic churches. My church isn’t constantly preaching about abortion, homosexuality, or sin. Every homily (analogous to the sermon for Protestants) is preceded by readings from the Bible, and the homily itself based on Biblical verses about God’s love and how much Jesus loved us, so much that he died for ALL people (not just a selected few, as Calvinists believe) so all of us can achieve salvation.
The highlight of the Mass is the Eucharist, which is really a re-enactment of the Last Supper. I do believe, as a Catholic, that the host (communion wafer) and wine actually becomes the body and blood of Jesus Christ once it’s ingested. I believe this because of what it does to me inside. Once I ingest, I always feel a warm liquid feeling of peace and loving feelings in my heart, and this overcomes any worries or negative feelings I may be experiencing. That tiny sip of wine certainly isn’t enough to alter my mind, so I know it’s much more than a physical effect; it’s a spiritual one. It’s the Holy Spirit inside me working on my heart and soul. During the Eucharist, and for a few minutes following it, the choir sings softly about opening your heart to the Lord and his Divine Love. I spend the next few minutes kneeling, thanking Jesus for this gift of Himself, and praying for it to do good things within my soul. It always does.
I also notice that during the week, I feel more loving toward humanity, get less irritated and worry less, and good things seem to happen. I also seem to have a clearer direction of where I’m going spiritually.
The feeling I get from partaking in communion isn’t unlike taking a Klonopin! But it’s so much longer lasting and I feel like it actually changes and opens my heart, which a Klonopin (which only reduces anxiety) can never do.
My ex husband was and is a malignant narcissist who actually has an NPD/ASPD (and Bipolar) diagnosis. He almost destroyed me and my sanity with his constant gaslighting, verbal abuse, projection, lies, insults, mean sarcasm, threats, and refusal to lift a finger around the house or even work for the last few years we were together. He stole from me, ran up my credit cards (ruining my credit rating, which sucks to this day), tried (and almost succeeded) in turning our two children against me, invaded by boundaries, and once even threatened me with murder-suicide after I threatened to leave. He still badmouths me to everyone he can, telling them how crazy and stupid I am (even though to my face, he always called me the most intelligent person he’d ever known). .
And yet, and yet….
WTF?
Sometimes I miss him.
I miss the way sometimes he could be so sweet and loving (usually when he wanted something). I miss our long, intellectual conversations about politics, science, God, the universe, art, music, movies, and everything else under the sun. I miss having a companion who would accompany me no matter what I was doing. I miss having someone to spend the holidays with. I even sometimes miss his unfunny jokes (which were often directed against me).
He had a few genuinely nice qualities. His intelligence made him an interesting conversation partner. He also loved animals and loved to cook. I miss his cooking (even though he always overseasoned everything). But these things weren’t enough to make me want to stay with someone who was so abusive to me and our kids.
I guess what I really miss isn’t him at all, but just that I miss being part of a couple, because I was absolutely miserable almost every moment I spent with him. I know I will never go back, and have no love left for him, but I do pray for him and don’t hate him, in spite of the evil, horrible things he did to me when we were married and for the several years after the divorce that we stayed together.
I look around and practically everyone of my age is part of a couple. If they aren’t part of a couple, they have extended family or a large circle of close friends, or a fulfilling career. I have none of those things. I don’t wallow in self pity over that, but these are the facts. I am fortunate to have a good relationship with my grown children. I am fortunate to be fairly healthy and employed. I don’t hate my life, exactly, but I am lonely.
Although I look young for my age, and am in fairly good shape, I don’t look THAT young. I feel old, way too old to attract a mate. I’m self conscious about my rather advanced age, and the toll it’s beginning to take on my appearance. I wish I could turn back the clock, but I can’t.
The idea of starting over again, with someone new, is just too daunting, and frankly, way too scary. I still have too many issues connecting with real life people because of the trauma I suffered. I have no idea where I’d meet someone. I hear the online dating services can be quite predatory and I don’t want to spend the little money I have on something like that anyway.
I’ve also become set in my ways. I’m way too selfish to want to change my lifestyle or compromise that in order to adapt to someone else. I don’t know if I could do that now. I like my time by myself, doing what I like to do, thinking my own thoughts, not having to take someone else’s wishes or wants or needs into account. I have cats instead, so I guess that makes me one of those crazy cat ladies. Well, so be it then.
At the end of the day, I think I just prefer to remain alone. I’m really not interested in dating, I just sometimes wish I had the companionship that other women my age seem to all have. I wish there was another person I was growing old with so I wouldn’t have to die alone.
Not sure what to buy your restless cat for Christmas? Does your cat get so bored and attention starved he walks all over your keyboard while you are trying to get work done?
Don’t settle for boring old catnip mice and plastic balls with bells inside. Get your cat the FLOATING JUDGMENT BOX! He or she will be the envy of all other cats in the neighborhood and your keyboard will be cat-free.
Credit:
http://www.funnyjunk.com/Floating+judgment+box/funny-pictures/5367004/
I think a lot of us can relate to this post right now. I know I can relate to it. The season really gets me down, but it’s more than that. I can’t pinpoint what it is though. I’ve also been noticing how many others seem to feel like they’re losing their minds or the world’s about to end. Linda Lee has always been there for me when I need her; I know I can’t do much but she needs big hugs and support from her WordPress friends right now, so that’s why I’m reblogging her post.
Since she’s allowing comments for this post, I’m disabling comments here.
I am not doing well. In fact, emotionally speaking, this is the worst I have been in a long time.
It’s embarrassing…. humiliating…. and humbling to admit this. I thought I was so much healthier than this! I had healed so much. I had learned, and grown, and blossomed, spreading my wings and flying so far…. all those happy, la la land metaphors.
My blog is about HEALING from PTSD, for heaven’s sake! I have a page posted at the top of my blog entitled “How to Heal PTSD,” which lists all the different therapeutic methods and self-help books that have helped me immeasurably. And I really, truly have come incredibly far from where I was when I was in my worst, most crazy-broken-shattered-insane condition.
My tablet wants to know if crazy-broken-shattered-insane needs to be added to the dictionary. Uhm….no.
You know what’s weird? You can’t tell by looking at…
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I don’t want to hear Jingle Bell Rock , The Little Drummer Boy, Jingle Bells, Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman, or Santa Baby (puke!). If I hear these kinds of songs on the radio I will change the station immediately, but unfortunately, they’re EVERYWHERE. Blargh.
I don’t hate all Christmas music though. I love traditional, religious carols like these. It has nothing to do with being religious. Even when I was a near-atheist, I still preferred them to secular Christmas ditties. They just seem more meaningful and reverent.
I particularly love the King’s College Choir’s “Hark the Herald Angels Sing”– I think these are two separate performances. Check out the chubby little guy in the first video, looking so joyful and happy to be singing. The boys’ voices combined with the organs give me goosebumps. They sound like angels.
I also really like Good King Wenceslas. You don’t hear it a lot anymore. It’s a traditional English carol about a good king who gives to the poor, so I think it’s definitely in the right spirit for the season.
I dragged up this old post just in time for Christmas! No one seems to remember this toy. It’s not too hard to understand why.
Christmas, 1966. For months I’d been begging my parents to buy me the hottest new toy the commercials were telling me I just had to have: a walking, barking dog called Penny the Poodle. Even if you’re old enough to remember this horrible toy, you may not, because it was quickly forgotten after the initial pre-Christmas hype. I’m sure millions of small children spent that Christmas Day in tears of disappointment and frustration when they realized Penny the Poodle did NOT live up to the hype.
Here’s the commercial, which in retrospect, was pretty creepy, even for those days:
I remember unwrapping the large box with joyful anticipation, ripping off the green and red foil paper and bows to reveal the “Penny the Poodle” logo and the see-through window on the side of the box that revealed Penny’s Pepto-Bismol pink head.
Eagerly, I pried her out of the…
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I’m still here. For the past couple of nights, I’ve gotten sidetracked by a couple of Facebook groups I’m involved in. I’ve had some interesting and long conversations with people in these groups. I’ll try to post something later tonight, probably a meme or something humorous.
I’m also posting this because I didn’t want to leave Satan at the top of the page, LOL!
Lucky Otters Haven 