Do narcissists ever cry? (article from The Narcissistic Life)

I believe I wrote an article a while back with the same title (my conclusion — yes, they do)  but this article is better and I like the way it doesn’t stigmatize narcissistic tears or the reasons why they cry as always insincere (it’s not always crocodile tears meant to get supply).   Sometimes they just cry because they hurt.

My  own article about this, written when I was still  enraged at my own narcissists, took a much more negative and cynical view of the reasons why narcissists may cry.

Do Narcissists Ever Cry?

By Alexander Burgemeester, for The Narcissistic Life.


Whilst narcissism is often characterised by bombast and a seemingly unwavering self-belief, there are times when even a narcissist may cry. Do Narcissists cry? It seems impossible but it is true. So how can someone who is so tied up with their own success, self-image and the presentation of themselves in their everyday lives suffer the kind of emotion or tearful outburst that is more characteristic of us other mere mortals?

Read the rest of this post here.

3 thoughts on “Do narcissists ever cry? (article from The Narcissistic Life)

  1. Lucky Otter how do you feel about the vagueness of the DSM traits for narcissism, and do you agree say with Richard Grannon, that it’s a much over used word?

    I noticed that the article suggests a diagnoses of Asperger’s would be perhaps more “helpful”, but how could a misdiagnoses be helpful to anyone? Is it intellectually responsible to compare the two disorders? Although there can always be overlap, in narcissism people seek supply, whereas in Asperger’s people tend to come off as narcissistic because they have trouble interpreting social clues. I also wonder about the subjective interpretations of therapists, psychiatrists and the persons writing these articles. This is not a criticism of this article just a general discomfort I have that psychiatric disorders are by definition so hard to pinpoint and diagnose.

    One has to think too that most of the worst narcissists never get diagnosed by anyone except those family members who’ve been harmed by them.

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    • Narcissism and autism are not at all the same thing, they have very different causes, but both converge in certain symptoms such as a lack of empathy or social awkwardness/introversion (in the case of covert narcs). But I don’t agree they are related. I don;t like the 9 DSM criteria because they only take into account the grandiose or overt form of NPD, not the vulnerable or covert type, which presents very differently and where arrogance and grandiosity is not apparent (though psychologically, they are the same — but that would take too long to explain). I think the DSM is a rough guide at best, but does not take into account the various forms narcissism can take. Covert/vulnerable narcissists do not act like narcissists on the surface at all, in fact they are likely to act like victims and feel persecuted by everyone and always put themselves down. But they have an underlying feeling of being better than others and entitlement (not getting what they think they deserve).


      • Yes I realize there are many different forms of narcissism and that’s exactly why I think the diagnosing guidelines are extremely vague. It seems the more psychiatry develops diagnosing criteria the more it becomes apparent just how much more we have to learn about psychiatric disorders objectively speaking, and refine the diagnosing criteria. Plus, if the article just stuck to autism, but Asperger’s, and mentioning one diagnoses is more “helpful”? How is that relevant, or more “helpful”? And calling the diagnoses a social construct?

        I am not a relativist, but I’ve often wondered if all diagnoses were social constructs, as we only become aware of inner turmoil when a person’s behavior conflicts with acceptable societal norms. Plus, although more serious delusional disorders are genetic there is more and more evidence they have to be “triggered” by trauma, physical or emotional. Before Freud existed, narcissism and other disorders were believed by Thomistic psychiatrists to be triggered by early childhood trauma, and at least it’s good to know psychiatry is now heading back in that direction. The way I figure it, if something can be “aquired” it can be “unaquired” or “unlearned”.

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