What is family?

I just saw this on Twitter.

“Blood makes you related.  Loyalty makes you family.”

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So here is my big announcement.

Richard Grannon, aka SpartanLifeCoach, is writing a guest post for this blog. I didn’t ask him to; he asked me! I have to say I was in shock. I’ve been watching his videos about C-PTSD and narcissistic abuse for a long time now and love his style. He likes this blog. 🙂 He is emailing his post to me and should be up later today! I can’t wait to read what he has to say!   It’s a huge honor to feature him on my little blog.

Breaking Down BPD

Here’s a very detailed article about Borderline Personality Disorder that breaks it down into its components and in doing so, helps reduce some of the stigma. It’s a painful mental illness with a terrible fear of abandonment at its core. No borderline likes having it!   The article also includes examples of what exactly goes on inside the mind of borderline when triggered (the fictional rant about Donald Trump is hilarious).

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According to the American     Psychological Association, the prevalence rate of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) in the general population is approximately 1-2% of lifetime occurrence.  So no worries, we are not alone ;).a9a0fb9e-6e03-4b8a-bf25-a04fa3c497b5


So I was able to do the impossible, find my lost blog posts. Before I re-post this one, I would like to add that I have been practicing as a mental health clinician again, and many of my clients have been curious to learn about their diagnoses.  Interestingly enough, when asked about if learning and understanding more of the disorder helped, they all said yes.  One specifically stated “I don’t feel like I’m crazy anymore, knowing that other people feel how I do, it makes me feel normal.” I still of course can only speak for myself when I say learning about Borderline Personality Disorder, educating myself on it and understanding it has been a tremendous help…

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Inspirational quote of the day.

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The tears of a clown.

It’s old post night, so this one’s getting recycled again too. Ever watch a narc having an emotional meltdown after a narcissistic injury? It’s not a pretty sight.

luckyotter's avatarLucky Otters Haven

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Here was one of yesterday’s search terms:
vomiting after seeing ex.narcissist begging me back

Really now? The narc’s begging you back actually made you puke?
But yes, I can definitely understand it though.

Sometimes those over the top emotional displays when you take away a narc’s source of supply by leaving them are pretty nauseating to say the least. I don’t know if it’s “acting” or desperation or what, but I know it’s not “love.”

I remember back in my 20s, witnessing the incredible reaction of a malignant narcissist boyfriend when I finally worked up the courage to tell him I was leaving him.

This was a verbally and sometimes physically abusive man who treated me like dirt most of the time, made fun of me, tried to turn my friends against me, and cheated on me as well. I had waited far too long to disconnect from him. I…

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Annoying people who take pictures of their food.

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They’re everywhere.  They’re all over Facebook, they’re all over Twitter, they’re all over Pinterest.  They’re texting their mushroom and goat cheese manicotti at the table next to yours, they’re trying to show you their Tabouli salad with ginger vinagrette in the passenger seat while you’re driving in heavy traffic on the Interstate, they’re waving their Samsung Galaxy smartphone with its Pokemon motif wallpaper in your face demanding you look at the Beef Wellington or curried chicken with beet juice they had last night whose remains are now now probably being further broken down into their elements in the septic system.

Food pictures.  They’re the new “this is me at a party with my cool friends” pictures.   The cooler looking the food, the cooler people who post food photos think they are.

It’s an insidious illness, this obsession with showing off the edible substance you put in your mouth so your body can survive.   Now I’m doing it.  At least tonight I am.  Because  tonight I had the best pizza I’ve ever had outside of New York City.     One slice is as big as an entire pizza, big and oozing with cheese and tomato and dripping amber colored grease down your chin and onto your new Gap T-shirt and down your wrists into your sleeves.  And it was effing delicious.   It’s from a pizzeria called Four Brothers and they really are four brothers who run the place and they’re from Brooklyn.   That explains why it’s so good–and totally justifies my being an obnoxious, annoying “look what I just ate” jackass.  That’s my photo of it up there.

How my ASPD/NPD control freak ex used a dog to gaslight me.

This makes me laugh now, but at the time I was doing anything but laughing.

luckyotter's avatarLucky Otters Haven

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In 2011, when my parasitic MN/ASPD ex was still living on my couch, he decided he wanted a dog.

We already had a dog, Dexter, who was an awesome black lab mix (he lives with my daughter and her fiance now). The house I live in (and lived in then) is tiny. At the time, we had Dexter and 5 cats. Far too many animals for a two bedroom house, but these were pets I cared about, so I wasn’t too bothered by the overpopulation problem in the house.

But oh no, a dog and five cats wasn’t enough for the Parasite (which is his new name as far as I’m concerned so that’s who he’ll be from now on). No, he had to have his OWN dog, one that HE picked. I told him we had no room for another pet, and it was already too expensive feeding and…

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Mr. Stingy.

An oldie but goodie about a complete tool and malignant narcissist I dated for a short time.

luckyotter's avatarLucky Otters Haven

stingy
I remember one of my narcissistic lovers. He was a textbook example of a malignant narcissist, and a mean one at that. Although he never became physically violent, I think he would have if I hadn’t ended that relationship.

One of the strangest things about him was the way he gave me gifts. The guy had plenty of money–he had a trust fund, for heaven’s sakes and owned his apartment free and clear, and he was always traveling. He never asked me to go with him though. Instead, he’d bring me back “gifts” from his road trips. I remember he’d make a big show out of presenting me with these gifts as if he was giving me the keys to a new car. They were never wrapped nicely, but always stuffed in a paper or plastic bag.

So what sort of gifts did this narcissistic trust fund jerk give me?…

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O.M.F.G.

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Credit: Allthetropes.com

What the…!  Guys, I just got offered an opportunity that completely blew me away.  It has to do with this blog, that’s all I can say.   I feel like I’m dreaming. I can’t say anything else right now but you will all find out very soon!

I cannot, cannot, CANNOT believe this.   This can’t be real, but it is.

Cliffhanger episode to be continued…

Broken…beautiful.

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