Category Archives: false self

Do borderlines have a “false self”?

One of the takeaways I got from my therapy session tonight, was that as someone with BPD, I do have a false self, but it’s not the same kind of false self a person with NPD has. Actually, almost everyone … Continue reading

Posted in borderline personality disorder, false self, narcissistic personality disorder | Tagged , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

Why does a narcissist need a false self?

On one of Sam Vaknin’s discussion pages, someone asked a very good question: Why does the narcissist conjure up another Self? Why not simply transform his True Self into a False one? I’ve wondered about this too. Here’s Sam’s explanation, … Continue reading

Posted in false self, narcissism, narcissistic personality disorder, Sam Vaknin, true self | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Is NPD really a dissociative disorder?

I think there’s good reason to think NPD (and to some extent, BPD) is really a dissociative disorder. Think about it. There is a true self and a false self that are split from each other, much the way a … Continue reading

Posted in dissociation, dissociative disorders, false self, narcissistic crisis, narcissistic injury, narcissistic personality disorder, true self | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

False self vs. true self.

UPDATE: I wrote this post during a four-month period of time when I thought I had covert narcissism.   I don’t (BPD + Avoidant PD in the same person can look a LOT like C-NPD and even confuses some professionals), … Continue reading

Posted in covert narcissism, false self, narcissism, self-awareness, true self | Tagged , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Dragon slayers: the origins of grandiosity.

Originally posted on Down the Rabbit Hole:
Raphael: Michael Slaying the Dragon In an earlier post, a commenter wrote this: I still have fantasies of being an abnormally strong, capable, resilient survivor, like Katniss Everdeen, which I developed as a…

Posted in false self, grandiosity, narcissism, narcissistic personality disorder | Tagged , , , , ,

What does covert narcissism feel like?

This was a comment in another post but I wanted it to be a blog post because I think it’s a good nutshell explanation of what covert NPD actually FEELS like, filtered through self-awareness: I feel like…”everyone’s better than me … Continue reading

Posted in covert narcissism, false self, narcissistic personality disorder, self-awareness, true self | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Why narcissists will never grow up.

I just created this meme. Feel free to use it, but please credit me. Click to enlarge.

Posted in false self, memes, narcissism, narcissistic personality disorder, true self | Tagged , , , , | 6 Comments

Borderlines are human chameleons.

My latest obsession seems to be the similarities and differences between people with NPD and BPD. I’ve been trying to come to terms with the idea an increasing number of mental health professionals hold that BPD may actually be on … Continue reading

Posted in borderline personality disorder, Cluster B personality disorders, false self, human chameleons, lack of identity, narcissistic personality disorder, narcissistic spectrum disorders | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 31 Comments

I think it’s time we stop bashing all narcissists.

This post is probably going to make some of you angry or upset. I understand that. After all, many of us were badly damaged by the narcissists in our lives. Anger and even hatred is an understandable and very human … Continue reading

Posted in "No Contact", accountability, art, bigotry, creativity, false self, God, hatred, intolerance, mental illness, narcissism, narcissist bashing, narcissistic personality disorder, tough love, true self | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 65 Comments

Letter from a narcissist’s “true self”

Here is a hypothetical letter written from the point of view of a narcissist’s True (lost) Self. The advice given here by the True Self is almost the polar opposite of whatever their False Self would tell you. That’s because … Continue reading

Posted in arrested emotional development, arrested moral development, evil, false self, lack of empathy, lies, lying, malignant narcissism, narcissism, narcissistic abuse, true self, truth | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 70 Comments