One step up on the corporate ladder!

Posted on May 8, 2016 by luckyotter

This seemed so insignificant at first I almost forgot to post about it.

On Thursday I was summoned by my boss, who told me I’m being promoted to a semi-supervisory position. It doesn’t pay a lot more and the job isn’t really any less crappy, but it’s still recognition for being good at my crappy job, and that does feel kind of good, especially in a crappy economy in a geographic area where good jobs are scarce and almost everyone who isn’t independently wealthy is slaving away at McJobs and trying to get by on $8 an hour.

I never asked to be promoted at this job, and really don’t care that much one way or the other (what I really want to do is write and publish a book–what’s stopping me, anyway?), but I realized that this promotion really is kind of a big deal, because I’m one of those people who is rarely chosen for promotions in most jobs (in spite of almost always getting excellent performance reviews). I think I get overlooked a lot because I never projected much confidence and always tended to be a pushover in work situations and fade into the woodwork. I think therapy is making me act more self confident or something, and this is a small testament to to that. I also noticed people seem to like me more than they used to, or maybe it’s just that I’m less hypervigilant now and don’t keep imagining that everyone hates me.

Just Saying ~ May 6th

Posted on May 7, 2016 by luckyotter

So true.

Blog of a Mad Black Woman

dbdad58186dfcdd574b2b6e24b0c08cf

View original post

We don’t need a malignant narcissist in the White House.

Posted on May 6, 2016 by luckyotter

Donald Trump is such a narcissist that Barack Obama looks at him and goes, ‘Dude, what’s your problem?’ — Ted Cruz

I’m talking about The Donald, of course. Most politicians have a narcissistic style or narcissistic traits, but we have probably never had a president with fullblown NPD. Author and narcissism expert Sam Vaknin has watched over 600 hours of footage of Trump and pegs him as a malignant narcissist. I believe him. Yikes!

Former Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz had a few words about Trump too. He was enraged when Trump accused Cruz’s father of being involved in JFK’s assassination, and exploded to the press. Here is the transcript of that, and an accompanying video of Cruz’s entire rant.

http://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2016/05/03/cruz_explodes_pathological_liar_trump_a_narcissist_at_a_level_i_dont_think_this_country_has_ever_seen.html

The #1 thing that makes me question God’s existence.

Posted on May 5, 2016 by luckyotter

TRIGGER WARNING: Photos in this post may be triggering to abuse survivors.

I believe in God. I also believe God answers prayers and God sometimes even performs miracles. I’ve seen it happen in my own life, and in the lives of people close to me.

But tonight I was reading a site about abused children–not children with narcissistic parents who grew up into emotionally damaged, but physically and mentally normal adults, but children who never had a chance at all. Children like 3 year old Jeffrey Baldwin, who was tortured almost from the day he was born, and whose photos show both the emotional and physical destruction of a human being, and ended in a painful, horrible death by starvation at the age of three. Or children like a 4 month old baby girl, whose name escapes me, who was repeatedly raped and tortured by her own father, and died of internal injuries. These are just two examples of children who God seems to have forgotten, but they are far from the only ones.

There’s bruising on Jeffrey’s face, but he could still smile.

AppleMark

Jeffrey Baldwin, second from the right. He could no longer smile; in these later photos he looked this way in almost every picture, before the light went out in his eyes.

Local Input~ UNDATED — JEFFREY BALDWIN — Photo of Jeffrey Baldwin at the time of his death from evidence provided by the coroner. The inquest into the murder of Jeffrey Baldwin, whose grandparents beat and starved him to death began Monday, September 9, 2013. Jeffrey weighed less than 10 kilograms and was emaciated when he died of starvation in November 2002.
CREDIT: CORONER EXHIBIT
(source: From: “McConnach, Robert (MCSCS)” ŠRobert.McConnach@ontario.ca>, Rob McConnach -Coroners Constable , Office of the Chief Coroner, Province of Ontario, 15 Grosvenor St., Toronto, Ontario, M7A 1Y6, Tel. 416-314-4200, Fax 416-314-3935 )/pws

A few days ago, there was a thought provoking and inspiring article called The Surprising Gifts of Suffering on the Dreams of a Better World blog (the post is in two parts), in which my friend speculated on the reasons why God allows people to suffer, some horribly. For emotional abuse victims, her argument that God is attempting to hone us and shape us into something more and draw us closer–knowing our souls are strong enough to withstand the abuse–make a kind of sense. We may not realize we were even abused until 40, 50, or even 60 years of age, but once we realize what happened to us, that’s when we begin to heal. Then we have something to teach the world. Many of us grew close to God because other humans proved to be so untrustworthy. We may never fully overcome the emotional damage, but if we keep an open mind and ask the right questions and learn the right lessons, we can reach out and begin to help others who were in the same situation. God knows we have the ability to turn our pain and suffering into something good and beautiful, which may be the reason we got handed that particular crappy deck of cards. Maybe.

I can even understand, to a point, sick and starving children in third world countries. Although they live in unimaginable poverty and squalor, suffer physically almost from the moment they are born, and in all likelihood will die at an early age, they usually still experience joy, acceptance, and love. Their families suffer along with them, and photos show these children being held and loved by mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, friends, and neighbors, who are all in the same boat. They don’t suffer alone. The healthier among them may still even laugh and play. Not knowing anything about prosperity, they are more able to enjoy the simple, natural pleasures that life offers.

But when I read about a case like little Jeffrey Baldwin, I just shake my head in sad bewilderment. I don’t understand how God could allow something like that to happen. For what reason? Some people may think it’s because God allows free will and Satan has dominion over a fallen world. But as I explained in a post I wrote a few days ago, I don’t believe the devil, if he exists at all, has that much power. Even if he did, why wouldn’t God step in and protect a helpless child who never had a chance, who no one prays for and no one cares about? If God loves us all, why would he allow an innocent life to be completely wasted, with no chance of redemption? Even if their souls go on to heaven, why would he put them here on earth, if their only fate here is to suffer and then die? If yelling at and cursing God is a kind of prayer, as a commenter the other day suggested it really is, then I guess I’m praying when I angrily implore to the heavens, “God, why THE HELL do you allow these things to happen?”

What sign is your personality disorder?

Posted on May 4, 2016 by luckyotter

Since this old post is currently going viral and is more for fun than anything else (and this blog could use a little lightness right now), I figured I’d throw this up here again. Enjoy!

Comments on the original post are expired, but you can leave comments here.

Lucky Otters Haven

This post is strictly for fun. It’s not meant to belittle personality disorders or the people who have them, nor do I believe in astrology. The idea came from a funny conversation I was having on Facebook today.

Cluster A Personality Disorders (anxious)

1. Avoidant: Cancer
(fearful of rejection, sensitive, homebody, shy, cautious)

2. Dependent: Pisces
(wants to be taken care of, clingy, passive, codependent)

3. Obsessive-compulsive: Virgo/Taurus
(clean/neat freak, obsessed with order and predictability; cautious and stubborn)

Cluster B Personality Disorders (dramatic, emotional)

1. Borderline: Libra
(wild mood swings, romantic fantasies, changes mind, can’t make decisions, can’t take sides)

2. Narcissistic: Scorpio/Aries
(vindictive when injured, easily offended; arrogant and entitled, infantile)

3. Histrionic: Leo
(full of themselves, dramatic displays of shallow emotion, vain, grandiose)

4. Antisocial: Gemini
(two faced, fast talkers, glib, deceitful, manipulative)

Cluster C Personality Disorders (odd or eccentric)

1. Schizoid: Capricorn
(asocial, reclusive, rigid, serious)

2…

View original post 20 more words

I should stay the hell off Facebook.

Posted on May 3, 2016 by luckyotter

I’ve hated Facebook for a long time, and last night reminded me of one of the biggest reasons why. My mother’s entire side of the family is on Facebook, and of course I just *had* to go look at their profiles and see what everyone is up to. I don’t know why I do that, since every time I do, I’m always blindsided by a tidal wave of envy. Last night was no exception.

A niece, who is twenty years younger than I am, appears to have a storybook life, at least the way she presents herself on Facebook. She appears to have all the following going for her: She is happily married, her adorable husband just opened a high-end restaurant to rave reviews, they just finished building a house near the ocean, she gave birth to a third perfect child a few months ago (natural childbirth, of course), her children are disgustingly beautiful, she always looks fit and well put together, she always looks ecstatic in her photos, and she gets a ton of comments–like hundreds of comments from their scads of friends and of course the extended family–telling her how beautiful and perfect she and her family and everything else are. Oh, and they just got back from a vacation too. She has the love and acceptance of my mother and all of her extended family. And she’s not alone. Everyone else on that side of the family seems to have a perfect life too. I always imagine (and probably imagine correctly) that they all look down on me.

Do I sound envious? I guess you could say I am. I don’t have the sort of happy, successful, perfect, monied life my mother and her extended family value. Because I “failed,” I’ve been devalued and am seen as an embarrassment and source of shame, which is the real reason why I’m never invited to any family functions, not that I’d go anyway. The sad thing is, as the family scapegoat, I was set up to be the family black sheep and never be able to have a life like that.

I need to quit Facebook. I really hate it. All that perfection makes me want to HURL!

Original Sin or Original Self-Centeredness?

Posted on May 2, 2016 by luckyotter

This is a wonderful post about the origins of narcissism and its antidote, empathy, written by one of my new favorite bloggers.

Comments are disabled; please comment on the original post.

Jesus Without Baggage

Many Christians believe humanity is so broken, and nature so violent, because of Adam’s disobedience in the garden. They say the world was originally perfect but Adam ruined everything. Furthermore, all Adam’s descendants are born with ‘original sin’ and alienated from God because of Adam.

Other believers cannot accept this explanation of our brokenness. Yes, the world is very imperfect and often harsh. Yes, we are subject to the human condition of pain, suffering, conflict, alienation, and death, but none of this is caused by Adam’s alleged sin.

Recently, I shared that the story of Eden is not an historical account but a marvelous reflection on our human condition. In the following article I determined that ‘original sin’ does not exist.

But if our problems are not caused by original sin from Adam, then how can we account for them?

What Do We Mean by Sin?

First, I think…

View original post 1,248 more words

No guest post this week.

Posted on May 1, 2016 by luckyotter

There will be no guest post this week because I don’t have one ready, but next week I’ll post a new one.

Meet and Greet @ Dream Big: 4/30/16

Posted on May 1, 2016 by luckyotter

Beware who you befriend on the Internet.

Posted on April 29, 2016 by luckyotter

Not all ACON blogs or bloggers are “safe.” On another blog, which I will not name, my character is being ripped apart and an article I posted which was one of my most honest and vulnerable ones is being used as fodder for the attack. In this abusive post, my character is being cruelly compared with golem (a type of demon). There was no instigation for this attack, since I have made no references at all to this other blogger, their blog, or their friends’ blogs in in over a year. The attack just came out of the blue. Interesting that a post was chosen where I was at my most vulnerable. Isn’t this what narcissists do? The hypocrisy is staggering.

Someone also tried to send me a virus in my email yesterday. I wonder if there is any connection? Hmmmm.

Here’s a little background. About a year ago, I was mobbed and my character ripped to shreds on a few blogs (not WordPress blogs, fortunately) because of a disagreement with a blogger who I had thought was a friend. Boy, was I wrong. This person is part of a tight clique of bloggers who may well have suffered horrendous childhood abuse (no one could make up the stories they tell), but if you have the slightest disagreement with any of them, you will be added to their shit list. You will be called names, vicious lies will be told about you, and you will be accused of doing things they themselves are doing (projection). They are so angry and bitter they can only see in black and white, never any shades of grey. Their rage has turned them into the very thing they hate the most and they are incapable of seeing their own narcissism and abusive behavior. Or they just don’t care. They are wolves in sheeps’ clothing, but claim to be anything but.

I was thinking about just ignoring the post and saying nothing, but why should I? Why should I let this dangerous person intimidate me? Why should I not warn others? I only wish I had paid attention to the red flags early on (or seen them). I know better now. I won’t name these blogs or this particular blogger here, but here are some things to watch out for. If you see a blog that does any of the following, do not comment or get involved with that blog. If you must read that blog, read it as a lurker.

I am setting my other blog to private for now because that’s the source of the article that fueled this sneak attack.

Does the blog you read belong to a narcissist or abuser?

1. Black and white thinking: they preach hatred and demonize a certain group of people (in this case narcissists) as being ALL bad or ALL evil ALL the time. Sure, some narcs may be *close* to 100% bad, but the seething black hatred that never seems to end is not merely a red flag, it’s a flashing neon sign.

2. Cultishness: no tolerance for disagreement; they launch ad hominem and personal attacks on commenters who have the audacity to disagree with them; dismiss the writers of critical (not abusive) comments as “trolls”

3. Religion is used to shame, intimidate, and threaten (if you don’t believe *whatever* you are going to burn in Hell, etc.)

4. If applicable, dwell on how they were abused and how they continue to suffer, without seeming to ever grow or change or learn anything about themselves from the experience.

5. Paranoid and hypervigilant, suspecting everyone who disagrees with them or displeases them in some way as being narcissists or even sociopaths. (Yes, I have been called a sociopath by this group).

6. Quick to project their own abusiveness onto others

7. Never seem to take responsibility or admit when they’ve been wrong.

8. Continue their vicious attacks even after the “danger” has passed (I haven’t had any dealings or made any mention of this blogger or their minions in over a year). This is just plain bullying.

9. They use information you have given them (or that they have found out) against you or twist it around into a lie. If you have posted something where you admit vulnerability, expect that to be used against you later on.

10. Usually have allies (flying monkeys) who appear out of nowhere to assist in the abuse when you have offended one member of the group and they have decided you’re an Enemy. May be part of a tight clique of other bloggers or hangers on.

11. You just feel uncomfortable commenting or being honest on that blog or you feel somehow intimidated or judged — listen to your intuition: it’s telling you something.

Here’s a very good article about these types of online bullies:
22 Signs of Online Destructive Narcissists in Forums and Online Communities