Not all ACON blogs or bloggers are “safe.” On another blog, which I will not name, my character is being ripped apart and an article I posted which was one of my most honest and vulnerable ones is being used as fodder for the attack. In this abusive post, my character is being cruelly compared with golem (a type of demon). There was no instigation for this attack, since I have made no references at all to this other blogger, their blog, or their friends’ blogs in in over a year. The attack just came out of the blue. Interesting that a post was chosen where I was at my most vulnerable. Isn’t this what narcissists do? The hypocrisy is staggering.
Someone also tried to send me a virus in my email yesterday. I wonder if there is any connection? Hmmmm.
Here’s a little background. About a year ago, I was mobbed and my character ripped to shreds on a few blogs (not WordPress blogs, fortunately) because of a disagreement with a blogger who I had thought was a friend. Boy, was I wrong. This person is part of a tight clique of bloggers who may well have suffered horrendous childhood abuse (no one could make up the stories they tell), but if you have the slightest disagreement with any of them, you will be added to their shit list. You will be called names, vicious lies will be told about you, and you will be accused of doing things they themselves are doing (projection). They are so angry and bitter they can only see in black and white, never any shades of grey. Their rage has turned them into the very thing they hate the most and they are incapable of seeing their own narcissism and abusive behavior. Or they just don’t care. They are wolves in sheeps’ clothing, but claim to be anything but.
I was thinking about just ignoring the post and saying nothing, but why should I? Why should I let this dangerous person intimidate me? Why should I not warn others? I only wish I had paid attention to the red flags early on (or seen them). I know better now. I won’t name these blogs or this particular blogger here, but here are some things to watch out for. If you see a blog that does any of the following, do not comment or get involved with that blog. If you must read that blog, read it as a lurker.
I am setting my other blog to private for now because that’s the source of the article that fueled this sneak attack.
Does the blog you read belong to a narcissist or abuser?
1. Black and white thinking: they preach hatred and demonize a certain group of people (in this case narcissists) as being ALL bad or ALL evil ALL the time. Sure, some narcs may be *close* to 100% bad, but the seething black hatred that never seems to end is not merely a red flag, it’s a flashing neon sign.
2. Cultishness: no tolerance for disagreement; they launch ad hominem and personal attacks on commenters who have the audacity to disagree with them; dismiss the writers of critical (not abusive) comments as “trolls”
3. Religion is used to shame, intimidate, and threaten (if you don’t believe *whatever* you are going to burn in Hell, etc.)
4. If applicable, dwell on how they were abused and how they continue to suffer, without seeming to ever grow or change or learn anything about themselves from the experience.
5. Paranoid and hypervigilant, suspecting everyone who disagrees with them or displeases them in some way as being narcissists or even sociopaths. (Yes, I have been called a sociopath by this group).
6. Quick to project their own abusiveness onto others
7. Never seem to take responsibility or admit when they’ve been wrong.
8. Continue their vicious attacks even after the “danger” has passed (I haven’t had any dealings or made any mention of this blogger or their minions in over a year). This is just plain bullying.
9. They use information you have given them (or that they have found out) against you or twist it around into a lie. If you have posted something where you admit vulnerability, expect that to be used against you later on.
10. Usually have allies (flying monkeys) who appear out of nowhere to assist in the abuse when you have offended one member of the group and they have decided you’re an Enemy. May be part of a tight clique of other bloggers or hangers on.
11. You just feel uncomfortable commenting or being honest on that blog or you feel somehow intimidated or judged — listen to your intuition: it’s telling you something.
Here’s a very good article about these types of online bullies:
22 Signs of Online Destructive Narcissists in Forums and Online Communities