America is not a Christian nation.

I expect this post will make some people angry, but I don’t care.   I don’t care how much the modern GOP goes on about God and how America is a “Christian” nation. Trump and no one in his inner circle (or maybe his entire administration) are Christians.  I don’t care how often they say they go to church or quote from the Bible.  All that’s nothing but a sales pitch meant to deceive.  If they actually believe they are Christians, then they are the ones who are deceived.

Piety does not equal godliness.  As a friend of mine put it, if Satan were to start a religion, he wouldn’t use pentagrams and blood sacrifice. No, that would be too obvious. He would wrap his dark agenda that preaches the values of greed, narcissism, and selfishness in a shell of legalistic, punishing far-right “christianity.” He would use a few superficial selling points (like abortion, nationalism, and homosexuality)  to lure the gullible masses (and hijack the churches, which has been going on for decades). He would twist around the language so that love means something closer to hate, justice means something closer to torture, and where all truths are fake news.  Lies become alternative facts, rights become entitlements, and compassion becomes the “encouragement of dependency.”  He would pretend to be saving your life while he’s really sinking a knife in your back.    He would promise to uphold a nation’s constitution and “make it great again” while he’s actually trying to destroy its very fabric.  He would wave a cross while angrily preaching a doctrine that promotes chaos, confusion, terror, despair, suffering, hatred, violence, marginalization, and exclusion — the opposite of anything Jesus taught.  He would show no mercy or forgiveness should you falter or become weak under his regime.  He would punish and marginalize the most vulnerable just for being vulnerable.  He would disrespect the earth and have no compunctions about destroying it for his own immediate gratification.   He would co-opt and transform the most popular religion in the land and turn it into a weapon intended to terrorize, marginalize, and destroy souls.

The modern GOP that has hijacked our country (and is almost certainly in collusion with Russia) are doing exactly all these things — while giving God lip service.   They lie about everything, even when they don’t need to lie. Then they lie even more to cover up the lies.    Who was the father of lies?   You got it — that’s their real god.   What we have now is not a proper government OR a religion — it’s a cult.  Trump is the cult’s leader.    His most ardent supporters — most who call themselves Christians — are practicing a form of idolatry.   To them, Trump is as infallible as God.   I remember when he said he could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot someone and they would still stand behind him.   It was probably the only true thing he ever said.

“Thou shalt not bear false witness.” — Exodus 20:16
“By their fruits, ye shall know them.” – Matt. 7-16
“At that time many will fall away and will betray and hate one another, and many false prophets will arise and mislead many. Because of the multiplication of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold.”–Matt. 24:10-12

I hate Paul Ryan.

paulryan_jerk

PLEASE SHARE AND DO THIS!  If you are serious about saving the ACA, text RESIST to 50409. You can do this more than once. Each time, a letter will be sent to another two senators or representatives. This is real — and you will get an actual person who will work with you on your letter.

*****

I’m breaking my own rule here not to write a rant about partisan politics, but this really isn’t a partisan issue, or if it is, it shouldn’t be.

“Trumpcare” might win the house, and he is willing to bet our lives against the house.  This is unbelievable. If this bill passes, I better pray I don’t get sick, which isn’t likely given my age. I’m in that vulnerable ‘older’ (50-64) age group and am FAR from rich. No way could I afford the premiums.  I’ll be in that group of 14 million who loses their healthcare the first year.

If you have a ‘pre-existing condition’ you will not even be able to get insurance even if you could afford it, if your state opts out, which many red states will.  These people say they are pro-life, but guess what — PREGNANCY is a pre-existing condition!   You can be sure there will be more abortions then ever, when poor and middle class women who lose their healthcare realize their pregnancies won’t even be covered.

Ironically, Trump’s working class supporters will be most negatively affected by this horrible bill. It probably won’t pass Senate, but still, this is so scary.

paulryan_asshole

I also want to smack that smug, self righteous smirk off Ryan’s stupid face.   I don’t hate too many people (even Trump escapes my hatred a little because he’s batshit insane and a mental and emotional child), but I really, REALLY hate Paul Ryan.  This smug sociopath (who lived off the death benefits from his dad’s social security and had everything paid for by the government (and still gets everything paid for by the government through OUR TAXES) thinks people need to “take responsibility” for their own healthcare.  HELLO?!   How is losing your health insurance going to teach ANYONE responsibility?  I’m so SICK of this blaming the victim, Ayn Randian, “bootstraps” mentality.

This Eddie Munster-looking twit has NO conscience and not a shred of empathy.    I can just see the way he’ll gloat and smirk if and when this “healthcare” bill passes.  He just loves the idea of kicking 24 million people off healthcare.  He WANTS us to suffer and die.   I really think this Ayn Rand worshipping d*ck is trying to thin the herd — the old, poor and sick  aren’t “producers” so of course they can go first.   Good thing we have liberal GUN LAWS — because if you get cancer, suicide might be the only option.     This bill also means a big ass tax break for his billionaire buddies.   God, I hate this administration.  NOTHING they have done or plan to do is good for the average American.    These people are CHRISTIANS?  That’s a laugh.   Pro-life?  Yeah, only until you’re born.  Have a sick baby and you’re not rich? Too bad!  You should have made better life choices.

Sorry if this offends, but I’m mad as hell and scared!  It’s very traumatizing for many of us.   I hope the whole lot of them get impeached soon.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/republicans-health-care-bill_us_5909fdf9e4b02655f84314af?ncid=inblnkushpmg00000009

RIP USA

usrip

50 days in. The United States is a far different and sadder place than it was on January 19. America is now run more like an organized crime syndicate than a proper country — and no one seems to have a clue as to what to do to reverse the devastation, or any power to stop him. Trump could murder someone and he’d get away with it. He’d just find a way to blame Obama and he’d be believed — the same way he’s taking credit for the “job growth” which actually began on Obama’s watch, not Trump’s.

We are no longer a democracy, we are a third world country run by a lying, corrupt dictator and his minions.   We need a new name.  The United States of Russia, perhaps?

If Paul Ryan’s horrific “replacement” for the ACA goes through (and it probably will, since no one seems to have any power to stop any of them), expect more crime (the sick poor will have to commit serious crimes in order to receive healthcare in the prison system), more suicides (by newly uninsured people who develop a life threatening illness), and possibly rioting and even civil war.    “Just let them die” seems to be what Ryan wants for the “nonproducers.”   Unfortunately, I’ll be one of the 15-20 million who will lose their insurance if this bill passes.  At my age, that is terrifying.   It’s also extremely unsettling the way this disaster of a replacement is being jammed down our throats without even giving us time to process what is happening.

Medicare and social security are next.  Expect any environmental protections, public education, and unemployment benefits to go too.  Expect more police and more laws (against the little people, not the rich and powerful) and no more freedom.   Expect depression, despair, and terror on  a level that would make the Great Depression look like a warmup.    Causing mass human suffering for their own enrichment is the Trump administration’s idea of “making America great again.”

We were lied to, and people still believe the lies, even in the face of overwhelming evidence that this presidency is a massive bait and switch.

We are told to just “get over it” and “stop being sore losers.”   I could go on and on about this evil and corrupt administration and the many ways it’s gutting our democracy and thumbing its nose contemptuously at the Constitution.

I can’t deal with this anymore.   I wish I could pack my bags and just leave.  I have no idea how much worse things are going to get.

2timothy

I finally signed up for Obamacare, was pleasantly surprised, but now Trump and his band of goons wants to repeal it.

obamacare

WARNING: RANT AHEAD.

Last year I didn’t sign up for Obamacare because I didn’t think I qualified based on my income being so low, and North Carolina is one of the states that hasn’t expanded Medicaid to low income people.  But that’s only part of the reason I didn’t sign up in 2016.  I also just felt triggered, irritated, and emotionally overwhelmed by the whole process, and frankly, I’m also morally opposed to the fact we as a nation do not have single payer healthcare like every other freaking industrialized country.  So I guess there was also an element of rebellion in my refusal to sign up, which is stupid, because what would have happened if I got sick or in an accident?   I was lucky I did not.   I already knew a year ago I’d have to pay the $695 fine when I do the 2016 tax returns, but I assumed it would cost me a whole lot more to get Obamacare, if I even qualified at all.   After all, it seemed like everyone was whining about how expensive Obamacare is, but it’s mostly people who hate Obama (I’m not one of them –but I’m starting to really appreciate him now, knowing the Ooompa Loompa is taking over in 3 days.)

So anyway, back to my health insurance saga.  I make a little more money now than I did a year ago, due to being promoted to a semi-supervisory position a few months ago (and being up to my ears in work).  I just wanted the whole health insurance thing to go away and acted like it would if I just did nothing at all.  I  just didn’t want to deal with it, but in the back of my mind, I knew that the penalty for 2017 would be close to $2,000 if I didn’t sign up.  I also knew I was living on borrowed time, because inevitably the day will come when I will need medical care and not just a first aid kit or an aspirin. But I kept procrastinating because I just didn’t want to deal with the unpleasantness.

Today I got a letter in the mail reminding me to sign up by January 31 if I didn’t want to pay that ridiculous fine for 2017.   Personally,  I think it’s outrageous that people are being fined for not opting to line the health insurance companies’ coffers, especially if their states haven’t expanded Medicaid to low income people, but what are you going to do? You have to do something, even if it makes you feel like throwing up in your mouth.    Why does America think “the market” is so damn wonderful anyway?   I think corporations are just as, if not more corrupt than the “big bad government.”   Their ONLY reason for existing is for profit. In my opinion, healthcare is a right, not a privilege, and every American should have access to it and not have to pay some insurance company.    But no one complains about corporate America, they only complain about “the government.”

So anyway, back to the letter I got.   After reading it, I said to myself, what the hell, might as well sign up right now and get it over with, since I have to do it anyway.  Why put off the inevitable?  There were a lot of questions to answer but it turned out I am eligible for Obamacare and get most of it paid for!  My premiums will be only $29 a month!.  Maybe I had it all wrong and could have done the same last year and avoided the $695 fine.  I also feel better knowing I have health insurance now, even if it’s not the greatest plan in the world.   Now I can stop worrying about what I will do should I become sick or have to go in the hospital.  Not having insurance at my age is playing with fire, and I’ve been all too aware of that, and tried to ignore it.    Now I can cross that off my list of worries.   For now.

Because here is what really sucks.   Now that I’ve finally signed up, Trump and his band of goons are talking about repealing Obamacare.   Now that I finally have it, I’m afraid I’m going to lose it.   If I do lose it, will people still be required to pay fines for not having health insurance?  I know there’s no way I could ever afford the premiums without the generous tax credit Obamacare gives me.  The idea of fining low income people for not having the money for the full price of health care (especially now that most companies no longer offer health insurance to their low-wage slaves) makes me feel sick to my stomach.   It would be appallingly unfair if that actually happened,  but I wouldn’t put something like that past this godawful, compassionless, immoral administration.

I’m worried about something else too.  Paul Ryan, who is a “Christian” (Catholic) Ayn Rand devotee (how is it even possible to be both?) wants to privatize social security.  Oh, no, we can’t have that!  It helps people!  It has to go away because “it’s an entitlement.”

EARTH TO PAUL RYAN:  IT’S NOT A FREAKING ENTITLEMENT!   I paid into it since 1976!    I’m really worried that as I enter my later years, which isn’t that many years from now, that all the money I’ve paid into social security for FORTY-ONE YEARS will be for nothing, and older folks like me who don’t have savings, investments, and 401Ks (because we never made enough money to have those things) who had counted on social security to be there for us when we finally were too old or weak or sick to work anymore,  will just have to just keep on working until we drop dead, or become a burden on our grown children, who will be forced to support us.

There’s also talk about privatizing Medicare.    If either of these programs the previous three generations enjoyed and that (until recently) seemed immune from being tampered with by Stupid Party, get the plug pulled on them (which “privatizing” essentially means), there’s going to be a whole lot of really angry and frightened people.  WHAT IS THIS?    LOGAN’S RUN?  Or even…SOYLENT GREEN!  (That 1973 movie about a dystopian future sounds a LOT like what’s starting to happen here, and the year it takes place in? 2022! Only 5 more years!)

Why not just off everyone too old to work.  Riiight, let’s just let the old and the sick DIE OFF.  They don’t contribute anything anyway!  They’re not PRODUCTIVE! Who cares if they SUFFER?

I think if Obamacare is repealed or especially if Medicaid and social security are privatized, there will be civil war.   Hell, maybe a civil war or a mass uprising is what needs to happen so people stop being sheep and keep voting for people who don’t represent their best interests.    The squinty eyed fat man with NPD and his pack of sociopathic stooges really have me scared.   I’m  getting reeeeally close to hating this country and wishing I could just leave.  America, the nation that promised so much and  that everyone used to want to live in, is turning into a third world country.   What’s happening here is the way third world countries are run.  Why’s Trump so worried about our borders?   Who will want to come here?

Am I the only one who feels like that?

Anyway, I have health insurance.  Finally.  For now.

Nothing makes me angrier than this.

seeing_red_by_cosmohibdon-d4o6hzv
Seeing Red by cosmohibdon, Deviantart.

This came up in the comments section of my last post.  Nothing makes me angrier than people who tell you, “why don’t you ask your family for help?” when something bad happens and you mention you are in need of financial or emotional support.

I’m not in that situation right now, by the grace of God, but I have been.  Many times.  And I could never ask my family for help, either emotional or financial, because they’d either (a) say no; or (b) tell me all the reasons why I was being “entitled” and put me on a guilt trip for asking.  And the answer would still usually be no.   If it wasn’t no, there were always strings attached.  But that was as rare as blue diamonds.

Whenever I’ve asked my family for support in the past, they made me feel about 2 inches tall, like how dare I ask for help at my age.  At my age, I should be self-sufficient and never have to rely on family for anything.  I’ve taken care of myself my whole adult life, and have hardly leaned on them more than I absolutely had to.   I avoid asking them for anything and have not in years, even when most people would have.   The shame involved in asking is too painful.   Even if, say, I was about to become homeless or was terminally ill, I still wouldn’t ask them for anything.   I’d rather die first, and that’s not an exaggeration.  I doubt they’d care much.  Once I turned 18, their responsibility to me was done.   No one even paid for my college education, though my parents were far from poor and could have afforded it. I had to work full time and take out student loans. I didn’t  even qualify for grants because I wasn’t living at home with my parents.  They wouldn’t allow me to.

I remember when I was temporarily homeless during my divorce, and my mother told me to go live in a homeless shelter.  With the kids.  That’s how “caring” and “loving” these people are.   She also sent an email to my father talking about how “she never learns from her mistakes” but she accidentally sent it to me!   When I confronted her about her “mistake” (I think it was intentional), instead of apologizing or attempting to explain (of course there was no good explanation for this), she laughed and said “well, maybe it’s for the best you saw that.”   She laughed!  Talk about no empathy.  Another time she told me I should become a nun and go live in a convent and get my needs met that way.   She wasn’t joking.

Yet, oddly, she was there for me when my kids were born, helping out when I was recovering from my C-sections.  She seemed genuinely caring and concerned too, and was wonderful with the babies.  I appreciated her help then and actually believed she might have changed.    But soon after I returned to work, it was back to business as usual.

Now I’m No Contact with her, I still hear about how she badmouths me to her other relatives (I’m a “loser” who “never learns from my mistakes.”)  If I died, I bet she would blame me, saying things like, “well, she never could get it together and just got what she deserved.”   She always found a way to take everyone else’s side but mine, even for things that weren’t my fault.  She just always assumed it was me at fault and never gave me the benefit of the doubt, no matter what the situation. She’s a terrible human being but I still don’t hate her.

Maybe people who assume you can go to your family when you need help are well-meaning, and because THEY have supportive, loving families, who always have their back, they assume everyone else does too.  Well, that is not the case, not everyone does.  Especially when you’re the family scapegoat.   People should realize that and not ask.   It’s rude.

When people ask me why I don’t ask my family for help or support, I just look them dead in the eyes and say, “my family’s all dead.”   That usually shuts them up pretty fast.

I hate tailgaters almost as much as people who tell me I should rely on my family for support, but not quite as much, and that’s saying a lot because I think all tailgaters should be lined up and shot.

Protected: Sick of being treated like I’m retarded.

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Why don’t we have single-payer healthcare?

universal-health-care-cartoon

Today I am going to rant on my son’s behalf (and everyone else who has to deal with this sort of thing).

My son wrote this letter to Aetna.  I think it speaks for itself.  Those of you in developed countries besides the Untied United States of America don’t have to deal with this kind of BS.  But this is the kind of thing we, who have “the greatest healthcare in the world,” (right, maybe if you’re rich) have to put up with constantly.    From 2009 – 2013, I worked in the health insurance industry processing and adjusting claims, and trust me, it gets a LOT worse than this.  Obama hasn’t made things worse; it’s been this bad for decades.  Of course, things were a little better back in the ’80s and ’90s  when companies actually used to care about their employees and provided decent health coverage at little cost to most full-time employees, regardless of their ranking on the corporate ladder.

NO ONE should have to jump through hoops like this to get mental health or any other kind of healthcare.   This is enough to cause someone to develop a mental disorder!  If we had single-payer healthcare, LIKE EVERY OTHER DEVELOPED NATION,  this probably would not have happened and he would still be able to get psychotherapy in spite of having lost his employment and with a lot less confusion and headaches.  I know single-payer healthcare isn’t perfect and has its own drawbacks, but it sure beats a healthcare system that’s based on profit and exploits those who are physically or mentally ill so a few rich doctors and health insurance executives can buy second or third homes or a new yacht.   Oh, but wait!  We can’t have that because it’s (gasp!) socialism!  The Market is God!

Healthcare shouldn’t be tied up with employment anyway.  If you get sick enough that you can’t work, you will probably lose your job anyway and lose your insurance when you need it most.  Most companies won’t even pay for employee health benefits anymore, or they only give you 39 hours instead of 40, so they don’t have to give you health coverage since anything less than 40 hours is considered “part time.”   Not all states have extended Medicaid to those who don’t earn enough to qualify for Obamacare .

There are free clinics in some urban areas, but trust me, they’re not very good (and some are terrible) and treat you like you’re less than human.  It’s very degrading to have to use one and be treated with condescension by some snotty nurse-practitioner who probably isn’t making enough to feed her own family. I pay for my own counseling out of pocket, even though my earnings are at or below the official poverty level.    I do it because I need to and it’s that important to me, but it leaves little to nothing left for anything else.  I just have to pray I don’t get sick.

Here is the letter he wrote.

aetnaletter

Here was the faxed letter he received which is described above.

fax

 

 

 

12 reasons why I don’t like autumn.

ugly_autumn
In my neck of the woods, this is what Autumn looks like.

Yesterday was the first cool-ish day we’ve had since May.   While the lower temperature felt nice, I also noticed for the first time that some of the trees are beginning to change colors.  It was also overcast and gloomy, and I realized that my SAD symptoms have kicked in full bore.   I just felt like crawling into bed to escape from the sadness I felt.   After winter, fall is my least favorite season.   Here are 12 reasons why I hate it.

1.  Around here, the “changing colors” just means the trees change from green to brown to bare.  A few turn this unattractive shade of deep maroon or this dirty looking yellow, but unless you go up to the Parkway, we really don’t get the brilliant fall colors you see in places further north, like Vermont.   To me, fall is not only not pretty,  it’s actually sort of ugly.  The traditional “fall colors”–gold, brown, red and orange–look like ’70s colors to me–I much prefer the ’80s colors of spring.

2.  Everyone crowing about how great fall is.   Shut up.  Please.  Just shut up.

3.  I have to deal with the school traffic again every morning on my way to work.

4. “Pumpkin spice” everything.  Makes me want to puke in my mouth.   Take your damn pumpkin scents and flavors (newsflash–pumpkin tastes like nothing) and GTFO.

5.  It gets dark early and it’s dark when you get up for work, and every day is darker and shorter than the last.

6.  The gloom.  November and December are the worst, but October is guilty too.  Gray, overcast, dark, rainy, and depressing doesn’t bode well for my SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). And in late fall, around here it rains.   And rains. And rains.  And it’s not the life-giving, energizing sudden showers of spring, it’s all-day-and-all-night-long, cold, dismal, continuous drizzle that sometimes turns icy and makes you want to go hibernate until spring.

7.  All the “fall-foliage” seeking idiots who clog the roads on their way to the Parkway. Go to Vermont instead. The colors there are much nicer.

8.  Fake, over-commercialized holidays — in particular the extended Christmas season which seems to start earlier every year–which seem intended to bring some “cheer” to the gloomy last half of fall, but really just makes everyone a nervous wreck instead because of its unrealistic expectations of “family togetherness,” over the top commercialization, and extravagant gift-giving that no one can really afford.  Oh, and let’s not forget Thanksgiving, with its heavy, fatty, depressing food and its gross PUMPKIN pie.  And these days, Thanksgiving is eclipsed by Black Friday anyway, which now starts on Thanksgiving, so all the turkey stuffed lemmings go rushing out to stand on line all night in the rainy cold for a new flat screen TV.  Halloween is okay, but is overrated as f.

9. I could give a rat’s arse about football, and that’s all anyone talks about besides their holiday plans.

10.  Fall means winter is coming and winter is torture to me on every level.

11. Let’s stop denying it.  In the fall, everything’s dying.  Those “brilliant colors” you see for about two weeks?  It’s just the leaves  attempting to get your attention one last time before they drop dead and turn into worm-food, that’s all.

12.  Once you get into the months ending in -ber, you know one more year is in its death throes and for some reason that’s really depressing.

Fall2008
A sad little twig with its wilting, dying leaves just makes me want to cry.

*****

Further reading:

https://luckyottershaven.com/2015/09/27/my-seasonal-affective-disorder-makes-me-want-to-hibernate-until-spring/

“Doctor shopping”? Oh, PLEASE!

Not long ago, I wrote about my housemate, a woman several years older than me who lives with chronic, unrelenting, severe pain due to a number of chronic medical conditions. I ranted about how none of the doctors will prescribe this woman any pain medicine, because of the dumb drug laws in this state, which are very strict. But IMHO, they’ve gone way too far. If you’re wealthy, of course, you can pay a doctor to give you pain medicine, but because this woman is on SSDI and gets Medicare, she doesn’t have much choice in who she can see. Now she is being accused of “doctor shopping” and is required to attend an evaluation for substance abuse before anyone can prescribe her anything. As far as I know, this woman has never been addicted to drugs! Oh, but she might *get* addicted. *eyeroll*  She might even be distributing, even though she is 60 years old, can barely walk, and doesn’t know anyone here anyway.  So I guess she’s just supposed to LIVE with the pain?  If it were me, you’d better believe I’d be “doctor shopping.”

She’s supposed to be having surgery (knee and shoulder replacement), but they keep putting it off and in the meantime, are doing NOTHING to help her.

I wouldn’t normally get involved in something like this, because under normal circumstances it would violate my boundaries (and probably hers too), but I wrote this letter of my own accord, because I am at my wit’s end and my boundaries are being violated anyway, by this woman’s constant pain I must deal with.  I will not toss her on the streets (although I could and may have to if things don’t get better or she gets much worse) but it’s very, very difficult to live with someone in severe, chronic pain who talks about nothing else, even if it’s a close relative like your mother, but this is a woman I didn’t know from Adam until last October. I don’t know how much this letter is going to help (it’s probably more useful as a rant to get things off my own chest); she probably needs to get an advocate (I know they’re out there), but I have no idea how she would go about getting one.   The behavior of the so-called “medical profession” toward people like my housemate is appalling, in my opinion. So I ranted off in this letter, which I hope you can read. You may need to click on the photos to make them large enough to read.

letter_1

letter_2

P.O’d.

pissed_off

I guess I’m feeling like a victim today.  Both this and my last post are all about me wallowing in self-pity.   Eh, I’ll get over it but I need to vent.   This will be short though.

After that out of the blue attack on my character on another blog a few days ago, I told myself I wouldn’t let it get me down.  I told myself I’ve grown a lot and have a lot more courage than I did a year ago, the last time this happened.   I told myself that as a blogger, I need to grow some balls and accept the fact that I will have haters.

I lied I guess, because for the past couple of days, I just haven’t felt like posting, at least not anything too personal.    My loss of motivation has everything to do with this vicious and unwarranted attack on me.  I set my other blog (Down the Rabbit Hole, which is more personal in nature than this one and was the source of the post that was used against me) to private and will probably keep it that way for awhile; I have no idea for how long.   Because it’s so personal I don’t have the courage yet to make it public again right away.

This pisses me off–a lot.  How dare this hypocritical person take away the one thing that keeps me going?  How dare this horrible individual make me set my writings to private and make me feel the toxic shame all over again? And anyway, shame for WHAT?  For writing a post that made me seem TOO VULNERABLE?  Why should that be shameful?  It isn’t, of course, but my programming tells me it is, and I got triggered.

I know it’s my own choice to inhibit myself and set blogs to private, and really, this narcissistic person can’t do much other than continue to post negative stuff about me on their blog.   If I don’t look, I won’t be hurt or angered–and I haven’t looked.   A year ago, I would have *had* to look, so one way I’ve changed is I’m able to resist the temptation to see what the haters are saying.  I never used to be able to do that.

I know this will be the topic in therapy the next time I go.  I still let narcs get to me way too much.   I still have such a long way to go.

The picture of the wolf head at the beginning of this post, I find inexplicably hilarious.   Laughter is always great medicine!   Thank God for my sense of humor.