Two additional songs about narcissism were brought to my attention so rather than start a new list, I decided to add them to this older one.
Enjoy! 🙂
Due to the enormous popularity of my previous articles about this topic (both of which now appear at the top of page one of Google–thanks everyone for making these so popular!), I’m adding ten more songs about narcissists today. Music and narcissism go together well– that’s one good thing narcissism has going for it, I guess. 🙂
The Songs.
1. “The Backstabbers” — The O’Jays
It’s very difficult to find songs about narcissists/psychopaths prior to the 1980s, but here’s an excellent one from the early 1970s.
2. “Ain’t It Fun” — Paramore
Catchy pop offering a badass challenge to a narcissist’s gameplaying.
3. “You Don’t Own Me” — Lesley Gore
Here’s another oldie (from the early ’60s) about a young woman involved with a narcissistic man.
4. “Mr. Know It All” — Kelly Clarkson
A modern take on Lesley Gore’s lament.
5. “Shadowboxer” — Fiona Apple Apple’s musical poetry eloquently…
I know this type of music is just commercial pop-country, and probably manipulative as hell, but dammit, I don’t care — this song makes me cry.
Preacher said he died too young
Over there totin’ that gun
For Uncle Sam and our freedom
Mom and Daddy dressed in black
They folded up that flag
Handed it to dad
Started prayin’
Yeah he went out 21 guns blazin’
An’ that’s One Hell of an Amen
That’s the only way to go
Fightin’ the good fight
Til the Good Lord calls you home
And so be well my friend
Til’ I see you again
This is our last goodbye
But it’s a Hell of an Amen, Amen
Doctor said he ain’t got long
He just smiled said bring it on
If you think I’m scared
You got me all wrong
A little cancer can’t break me
My heart’s right and I believe
We all hit our knees
Started prayin’
Naw he never gave up
Said the Good Lord’s waitin’
An’ that’s One Hell of an Amen
That’s the only way to go
Fightin’ the good fight
Til the Good Lord calls you home
So be well my friend
Til’ I see you again
Yeah this is our last goodbye
But it’s a Hell of an Amen
So be well my friend
Til’ I see you again
This is our last goodbye
But it’s a Hell of an Amen
Everyone who reads this blog knows I’m a huge music fan, so I thought I’d start a series of songs about the experience of being Borderline (or being in relationships with Borderlines), as I already have with songs about Narcissism.
Here are 11 songs to get started. I’ll do another one of these later.
I tried to include the lyric videos whenever possible.
1. Green Day: Boulevard of Broken Dreams
A huge 2005 comeback hit by the alternative rock band. I think this song really captures the horror and loneliness of what it’s like to have BPD.
I’m walking down the line that divides me somewhere in my mind
One the borderline of the edge and where I walk alone
Read between the lines what’s fucked up and everything’s alright
Check my vital signs to know that I’m still alive and I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
My shadow’s the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart’s the only thing that’s beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there would find me
Til then I walk alone
These lines pretty much say it all. It’s a great song.
2. Three Days Grace: I Hate Everything About You
The early 2000’s seemed to have a surplus of songs that described Borderline-like mental conditions. Three Days Grace seemed to specialize in these sort of songs. Here is a song that describes the “splitting” (black and white thinking) Borderlines tend to do in relationships, as well as idealization/devaluation of a lover.
3. Katy Perry: Hot and Cold
A poppier, less serious song about the crazymaking rapid mood swings and tendency toward splitting Borderlines tend to do and the instability of their relationships. Here, Perry is singing to her BPD lover. (Although the word “Bipolar” is mentioned in the song, the lover’s moods swing too rapidly for it to be Bipolar I Disorder, which is characterized by long-term severe mood changes.
4. David Nail: Whatever She’s Got
The bro-country singer seems to be singing about his girlfriend who displays the unpredictable rapid mood swings of someone with BPD.
5. The Offspring: Self Esteem
Classic early ’90s rocker about a guy who may be a Borderline who appears to be involved with a girl with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Or she could be an abusive Borderline. It’s hard to tell. Anyway, they’re both pretty messed up in the head. I’d say their relationship is doomed. Enjoy the tune.
6. Meat Loaf: Paradise By The Dashboard Light
1978 classic rock song about a guy who appears to be dating a girl who has BPD (or is just extremely demanding and high maintenance, which probably indicates BPD or Histrionic personality disorder anyway).
The girlfriend’s lyric: Stop right there!
I gotta know right now, do you love me?
Will you love me forever? Do you need me?
Will you never leave me?
Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life?
Will you take me away and will you make me your wife?
I gotta know right now before we go any further
Do you love me? And will you love me forever?
What’s it gonna be, boy? Come on
I can wait all night
What’s it gonna be, boy? Yes or no
What’s it gonna be, boy? Yes or no
7. Hurt: Johnny Cash
Some of the most eloquent (and depressing) descriptive lyrics ever. Warning: this song may be extremely triggering.
8. Meredith Brooks: Bitch
The lyrics tell it all. No further editorializing necessary.
9. Radiohead: Creep
The “creep” in this song has either BPD or possibly covert (“vulnerable”) Narcissism. He seems to be severely conflicted between dismally low self esteem and pathological envy. He idealizes his lover and hates her for being “more” than he is. Whatever disorder he has, the self hatred and excruciating pain of his disordered mind is evident.
10. Hole: Doll Parts
The lyrics to “Doll Parts” mirror “Creep” in many ways, especially the idealization/pathological envy of qualities she idealizes, and her desire to “even the score.” Once again, the subject of the song could be either Borderline or NPD. (Courtney Love actually has a BPD diagnosis).
11. Jason Mraz: Beautiful Mess
A tender ballad sung to his obviously Borderline lover.
Due to the enormous popularity of my previous articles about this topic (both of which now appear at the top of page one of Google–thanks everyone for making these so popular!), I’m adding 12 more songs about narcissism. Music and narcissism go together well– that’s one good thing narcissism has going for it, I guess. 🙂
The Songs.
1. “The Backstabbers” — The O’Jays
It’s very difficult to find songs about narcissists/psychopaths prior to the 1980s, but here’s an excellent one from the early 1970s.
2. “Ain’t It Fun” — Paramore
Catchy pop offering a badass challenge to a narcissist’s gameplaying.
3. “You Don’t Own Me” — Lesley Gore
Here’s another oldie (from the early ’60s) about a young woman involved with a narcissistic man.
4. “Mr. Know It All” — Kelly Clarkson
A modern take on Lesley Gore’s lament.
5. “Shadowboxer” — Fiona Apple
Apple’s musical poetry eloquently describes the way narcissistic mind games make you feel. Thanks to Amanda for suggesting this.
6. “Trouble” — Taylor Swift
The intro is pretentious and badly written, but Taylor does seem to have a way of attracting abusive and narcissistic men, at least in her songs, and this one is catchy as anything else she’s done.
7. “Black Sun” — Death Cab for Cutie
Alternative rock song about divorcing a narcissist. Thanks to Sachi for suggesting this one.
8. “Words as Weapons” — Seether
A man’s view on trying to deal with a narcissistic woman.
Following is a mindblowing video showing how six recent bro-country hits ALL SOUND EXACTLY THE SAME.
In addition, the lyrics almost always involve a scantily dressed country girl (always named “Girl” and always dressed in cutoff jeans, daisy dukes, or tight ripped jeans), beer, a river or body of water, moonlight, a pickup truck with the tailgate down, more beer, said girl dancing on the tailgate, a horny guy, and enough beer to refill the aforementioned body of water should it dry up. It’s always summer and the radio is always on.
There’s some variety though: in a few bro country songs lots of mud is involved. Or even homemade wine standing in for the beer. A few have a slight hip hop influence. But the musical formula never changes. Ever.
For the best experience, maximize your screen to watch the video. Watch the black bar moving to the right across the screen through segments showing the exact locations of the intros, verses, transitions, guitar solos, 1st and 2nd chorus, bridges/breakdowns (I call this the “quiet before the storm”), drum explosions in the final chorus outre, the final woah woahs, etc. There’s barely any variation in their placement! This is as fascinating to watch as to listen to. It’s awesome. I could watch this 100 times. I kid you not. *
The formula is so generic and sounds so similar to most commercial pop rock of about 5 and more years ago (Nickelback, The Fray, Daughtry, 3 Doors Down, and many others) that I bet a mashup could be done mixing some of those older pop-rock songs with today’s bro-country you’d see no difference in the timed graphs in the video!
These songs are all ridiculously catchy even if you hate this genre. Bro country is barely country at all–it’s formulaic pop-rock with a banjo and a twang.
For more about the phenomenon (or scourge) of bro-country, read this article.
* My guilty little secret is I like bro country I like Lady Gaga.
Music has been incredibly important in my journey to wellness, second only to writing. I could not survive in a world without music. I don’t really have a favorite genre; I love all good music. If I started another blog, it would probably be a music blog. I always try to include lots of music in this blog, representing a variety of genres and from different decades.
I added this new page because of its importance to me in helping in my healing. You’d be surprised how effective it can be.
I have included full videos (lyric videos if I could find them) of several songs that have been especially therapeutic to me, for a variety of reasons. I’m hoping these songs can help others too.
I intend to add more songs as time goes along. These are certainly not the only songs that have helped me, just the ones that have been most recently.
I’m also planning to do another “narcissist songs” post because there are lots of songs about narcissism I haven’t covered and those always seem to be popular posts.
Lucky Otters Haven 