I’ve posted a number of songs written and recorded by my friend Mary Pranzatelli and her band NarCissistic Mary for this blog before, but I think this one’s my favorite. It’s called “Take Her Home” and is about a homeless veteran woman suffering from PTSD who gets raped and beaten on the streets of LA. Sad lyrics but with an important message and the music sounds great!
In Mary’s own words,
[“Take Her Home” tells the story of] a female Vietnam veteran who served in the Medics in the Navy. She told me she lived on the streets in LA, and that she was raped and violently beaten.
She told me the statistics for homeless in Tent City.
African American women are homeless at a higher rate and I learned at my National Organization for Women PAC meeting that South Jersey social services neglects African American women and most often picks up white homeless women when they have shelter available. I also was told that at Tent City in LA the police sweep away the few personal belongings of these women and the often brutally take them off and incarcerate them often late at night.
The Monday Melodies are intended to pay homage to songs I like from the past, but I’d like to make an exception this week and include a new song. Lately I’ve been hearing some good and interesting indie rock and pop on a local radio station that doesn’t play the usual Top 40 hits.
Kurt Vile‘s “Pretty Pimpin'” is musical crack. His style is like a cross between Tom Petty (who he names as one of his influences) and ’90’s alternative such as Beck. The video features Kurt, appearing disheveled and either confused, high, or severely dissociated, possibly in a fugue state. The lyrics describe what sounds like a very unpleasant dissociative experience, in which the protagonist looks in the mirror and doesn’t recognize himself. Yet Kurt’s delivery is oddly unemotional and disconnected, as if he’s describing the experience of someone else, which is exactly what dissociation feels like.
I’d like to include this comment from the lyrics page, which I think nails the meaning of the song:
The song’s narrator likely suffers from Depersonalization Disorder, a dissociative mental disorder in which one feels disconnected or estranged from one’s body, thoughts and emotion.
The song uses subtle changes in its repeating verses, progressing through different manifestations of this disorder. As the narrator interacts with himself in the mirror, he begins with the first person pronoun “I” and later moving toward more uses of the third-person “he.”
The upbeat song ends with a gradual fade-out, which you don’t hear much anymore in modern music.
I woke up this morning
Didn’t recognize the man in the mirror
Then I laughed and I said, “Oh silly me, that’s just me”
Then I proceeded to brush some stranger’s teeth
But they were my teeth, and I was weightless
Just quivering like some leaf come in the window of a restroom
I couldn’t tell you what the hell it was supposed to mean
But it was a Monday, no a Tuesday, no Wednesday, Thursday, Friday
Then Saturday came around and I said “Who’s this stupid clown blocking the bathroom sink?”
All he ever wanted was to be someone in life that was just like
All I want is to just have fun
Live my life like a son of a gun
I could be one thousand miles away but still mean what I say
Then I woke up one morning
Didn’t recognize the man in the mirror
Then I laughed and I said, “Oh silly me, that’s just me”
Then I proceeded to not comb some stranger’s hair
Never was my style
But I couldn’t tell you what the hell it was supposed to mean
Because it was a Monday, no a Tuesday, no Wednesday, Thursday, Friday
Then Saturday came around and I said “Who’s this stupid clown blocking the bathroom sink?”
But he was sporting all my clothes
I gotta say I’m pretty pimpin
All he ever wanted was to be a man
But he was always a little too cute to be admitted under “marbles lost”
He was always a thousand miles away while still standing in front of your face
Then he woke up this morning
Didn’t recognize the boy in the mirror
Then laughed and said, “Oh silly me, that’s just me”
Then I proceeded to brush some stranger’s teeth
But they were my teeth, and I was weightless
Just quivering like some leaf come in the window of a restroom
And I couldn’t tell you what the hell it was supposed to mean
Cause it was a Monday, no a Tuesday, no Wednesday, Thursday, Friday
Then Saturday came around and I said, “Who’s this stupid clown blocking the bathroom sink?”
But he was sporting all my clothes
I gotta say pretty pimpin
I woke up this morning, didn’t recognize the boy in the mirror [x6]
Great news! My friend Mary, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, who started her rock band NarCissistic Mary after breaking free, has a brand new song, Psychopathic Stalker Girl!
Please listen and share.
Their song It’s In Your Head was previously featured on this blog.
Mary writes all her own music and lyrics.
My friend Mary’s ’90s-style hard rocker, “It’s In Your Head,” a song about narcissistic abuse, is now up on Youtube! (I posted the soundcloud version a few weeks back).
Please listen! She and her band are great. More new music from them will be coming soon!
Mary is a huge inspiration to me because since she left her abuser(s), she has come out of her shell and had the confidence to finally discover her musical talents and put together her band.
The two mirror images of Mary with her guitar form two white owls. You might have to look at the graphic from a distance, but it’s clear as day once you see it. Mary assured me this was COMPLETELY unintentional. So eerie!
Due to the enormous popularity of my previous articles about this topic (both of which now appear at the top of page one of Google–thanks everyone for making these so popular!), I’m adding 12 more songs about narcissism. Music and narcissism go together well– that’s one good thing narcissism has going for it, I guess. 🙂
The Songs.
1. “The Backstabbers” — The O’Jays
It’s very difficult to find songs about narcissists/psychopaths prior to the 1980s, but here’s an excellent one from the early 1970s.
2. “Ain’t It Fun” — Paramore
Catchy pop offering a badass challenge to a narcissist’s gameplaying.
3. “You Don’t Own Me” — Lesley Gore
Here’s another oldie (from the early ’60s) about a young woman involved with a narcissistic man.
4. “Mr. Know It All” — Kelly Clarkson
A modern take on Lesley Gore’s lament.
5. “Shadowboxer” — Fiona Apple
Apple’s musical poetry eloquently describes the way narcissistic mind games make you feel. Thanks to Amanda for suggesting this.
6. “Trouble” — Taylor Swift
The intro is pretentious and badly written, but Taylor does seem to have a way of attracting abusive and narcissistic men, at least in her songs, and this one is catchy as anything else she’s done.
7. “Black Sun” — Death Cab for Cutie
Alternative rock song about divorcing a narcissist. Thanks to Sachi for suggesting this one.
8. “Words as Weapons” — Seether
A man’s view on trying to deal with a narcissistic woman.
Lucky Otters Haven 