Tom Petty was one of my favorite musicians. I loved almost every song he released during his long career. I owned several of his albums, spanning from the late 1970s to the early 1990s.
I heard “Learning to Fly” in the car this morning and was overcome with bittersweet nostalgia that stayed with me all day. 1991 (the year this song was released) was a year that had a lot of personal meaning to me, and this was one of my favorite Tom Petty songs. It’s absolutely surreal to me that 1991 was 27 years ago. It’s sad and a little scary how much faster time passes by as we age.
Tom Petty’s premature death in October 2017 was a great shock. Music like his will never be made again. But he finally got his wings and learned to fly.
I haven’t posted any new Monday Melodies in a while, but this one was suggested to me, and is not only a great song (released in 1993), I think all of us can relate to it. REM is one of my favorite bands.
Don’t let the laid back sound of Sheryl Crow’s voice and music fool you. This 1998 pop song is about a relationship with a narcissist, after she has been devalued and discarded. I heard it the other day in the car, and I haven’t been able to get it out of my head, so I’m making it this week’s Monday Melody. I’ve posted the lyrics below the video.
I woke up and called this morning
The tone of your voice was a warning
That you don’t care for me anymore
I made up the bed we sleep in
I looked at the clock when you creep in
It’s 6 a.m. and I’m alone
[Chorus:]
Did you know when you go
It’s the perfect ending
To the bad day I was just beginning
When you go all I know is
You’re my favorite mistake
Your friends are sorry for me
They watch you pretend to adore me
But I’m no fool to this game
Now here comes your secret lover
She’d be unlike any other
Until your guilt goes up in flames
[Chorus:]
Did you know when you go
It’s the perfect ending
To the bad day I’d gotten used to spending
When you go all I know is
You’re my favorite mistake
You’re my favorite mistake
Well maybe nothin’ lasts forever
Even when you stay together
I don’t need forever after
It’s your laughter won’t let me go
So I’m holding on this way
Did you know, could you tell
You were the only one
That I ever loved
Now everything’s so wrong
Did you see me walking by?
Did it ever make you cry?
You’re my favorite mistake
You’re my favorite mistake
You’re my favorite mistake
“Shine” is one of those ’90s songs that sounds positively dated by today’s standards, but this is not a bad thing, not at all. The feel of the song, technically classified as post-grunge (even though it came out in 1994 during the height of grunge), owes a lot more to classic rock than it does to popular music today–or even other music of its time.
Unlike many post-grunge/grunge songs that tend toward dark, ironic, and nihilistic lyrics, “Shine” has a positive, inspiring, unironic message. If you didn’t know better, you might even think it was a Christian song, even though the band insists that it was not intended as one. But the overall mood of “Shine,” with its distorted guitar and heavy bass line, is as dark as anything else from that time, which creates an interesting juxtaposition with its upbeat lyrics.
“Shine” sounds so much like classic rock that it gets airplay on my local classic rock radio station, which plays very little music that came out after the early 1980s. They also play a lot of Pearl Jam, another ’90s rock band that could easily be mistaken for classic rock.
Give me a word,
Give me a sign.
Show me where to look,
Tell me what will I find?
What will I find?
Lay me on the ground,
Or fly me in the sky.
Show me where to look,
Tell me what will I find?
What will I find?
(Yeah)
(Yeah)
(Yeah)
Whoa, heaven let your light shine down
Whoa, heaven let your light shine down
Whoa, heaven let your light shine down
Whoa, heaven let your light shine down
Love is in the water,
Love is in the air.
Show me where to look,
Tell me will love be there?
Will love be there?
Teach me how to speak,
Teach me how to share.
Teach me where to go,
Tell me will love be there?
Love be there?
(Yeah)
(Yeah)
(Yeah)
Whoa, heaven let your light shine down
Whoa, heaven let your light shine down
Whoa, heaven let your light shine down
Whoa, heaven let your light shine down
Give me a word,
Give me a sign.
Show me where to look,
Tell me what will I find?
What will I find?
Lay me on the ground,
Or fly me in the sky.
Show me where to look,
Tell me what will I find?
What will I find?
(Yeah)
(Yeah)
(Yeah)
Whoa, heaven let your light shine down
Whoa, heaven let your light shine down
Whoa, heaven let your light shine down
Whoa, heaven let your light shine down
I’m gonna let it shine
I’m gonna let it shine
Heaven, let your light
Shine on me
The ’90s holds a special place in my heart and of all the decades, I like the music of that decade the best–even though technically I was a little too old for it. ’90s music seems the most versatile to me. No one knew it yet, but it was the last decade where good rock music was still dominant, before it disintegrated into the commercial post-grunge of the early 2000s, and the eventual takeover of hip hop and finally, EDM.
Sometime during the late 1980s, new wave segued into early alternative (or what used to be called “college rock” before it became “alternative” in the 90s. ) No matter that I was no longer in college and was in fact married by then, I was always drawn to this type of music. REM is a fantastic band and of all the early alternative bands probably became the most famous and long lived. But there were others that seemed so underrated to me. Toad the Wet Sprocket (formed in 1986) made music that wasn’t offensive to anyone’s ears but was never over-produced or overcommercialized either. Their lyrics were always meaningful. “Something’s Always Wrong” wasn’t their biggest hit; in fact it never became much of a hit at all, although it did get some airplay in 1994. It’s my favorite song by this band. The harmonies are just gorgeous and I can’t get enough of the jangly guitars. I never get tired of it.
I know it’s Wednesday. It’s two days late because I forgot. I don’t have any other excuses. 😳
Here’s my son’s latest music video–“Glycerine” by Bush (he was only three when this song was released in 1994). I love this song and this is an interesting interpretation.
Due to the enormous popularity of my previous articles about this topic (both of which now appear at the top of page one of Google–thanks everyone for making these so popular!), I’m adding 12 more songs about narcissism. Music and narcissism go together well– that’s one good thing narcissism has going for it, I guess. 🙂
The Songs.
1. “The Backstabbers” — The O’Jays
It’s very difficult to find songs about narcissists/psychopaths prior to the 1980s, but here’s an excellent one from the early 1970s.
2. “Ain’t It Fun” — Paramore
Catchy pop offering a badass challenge to a narcissist’s gameplaying.
3. “You Don’t Own Me” — Lesley Gore
Here’s another oldie (from the early ’60s) about a young woman involved with a narcissistic man.
4. “Mr. Know It All” — Kelly Clarkson
A modern take on Lesley Gore’s lament.
5. “Shadowboxer” — Fiona Apple
Apple’s musical poetry eloquently describes the way narcissistic mind games make you feel. Thanks to Amanda for suggesting this.
6. “Trouble” — Taylor Swift
The intro is pretentious and badly written, but Taylor does seem to have a way of attracting abusive and narcissistic men, at least in her songs, and this one is catchy as anything else she’s done.
7. “Black Sun” — Death Cab for Cutie
Alternative rock song about divorcing a narcissist. Thanks to Sachi for suggesting this one.
8. “Words as Weapons” — Seether
A man’s view on trying to deal with a narcissistic woman.
I’m posting it again because it’s another song that’s been very inspirational to me in my journey and always reminds me to appreciate the moment, the day I am presently occupying.
Every day can be a great day!
I’m adding this to my page of songs that have inspired me or helped in my healing journey (which is found in the header).
Narcissism is a hot topic, and popular music is no exception, especially since so many songs are about relationships gone bad and breakups with narcissistic lovers. Whenever possible, I tried to include lyric videos.
1. Christina Aguilera: Vanity
Speaks for itself.
2. Sara Bareilles: King of Anything
Fairly recent, nice indie pop song about a not so nice malignant narcissist.
3. Queen: I Want it All
I couldn’t find a lyric video, but here’s the lyrics:
Adventure seeker on an empty street,
Just an alley creeper, light on his feet
A young fighter screaming, with no time for doubt
With the pain and anger can’t see a way out,
It ain’t much I’m asking, I heard him say,
Gotta find me a future move out of my way,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,
Listen all you people, come gather round
I gotta get me a game plan, gotta shake you to the ground
Just give me what I know is mine,
People do you hear me, just give me the sign,
It ain’t much I’m asking, if you want the truth
Here’s to the future for the dreams of youth,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,
I’m a man with a one track mind,
So much to do in one life time (people do you hear me)
Not a man for compromise and where’s and why’s and living lies
So I’m living it all, yes I’m living it all,
And I’m giving it all, and I’m giving it all,
It ain’t much I’m asking, if you want the truth,
Here’s to the future, hear the cry of youth,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now…
4. Madonna: Material Girl
Madonna purportedly suffers from NPD herself. I don’t doubt it. Still a great 1980s classic though.
5. Rush: Malignant Narcissism (instrumental)
No words, but the title says it all so it belongs here anyway. Good hard rock jam.
6. The Police: Every Breath You Take
The dude in this 1986 megahit definitely seems psychopathic to me.
7. Michelle Branch: Are You Happy Now
Angry pop rock from 2003 about a girl left by her narcissisict lover.
8. Three Days Grace: Just Like You
Don’t want to get infected by her evil!
9. Shawn Colvin: Get Out of this House
The lyrics are oblique and this song may not be about a narcissistic relationship, it could be just a bad breakup but it’s still a great song so I’m posting it anyway. I could not find a lyric video for this.
10. Gloria Gaynor: I Will Survive
I have looked, but there seem to be very, very few songs about narcissism prior to the 1980s (isn’t that an interesting statement about how our society has changed?), but here’s a disco song with a victorious message about escaping from what appears to have been an abusive relationship with a narcissist. This has become a sort of female empowerment anthem but I don’t see why it couldn’t apply to guys escaping from narcissistic women too.
11. Imagine Dragons: Demons
Sounds like an insightful malignant narcissist to me, warning his prey! Sam, did you actually write this?
12. Carrie Underwood: Cowboy Casanova
Catchy country-pop take on a narcissistic relationship.
Lucky Otters Haven 