Monday Melody: Betterman (Pearl Jam)

Posted on May 9, 2016 by luckyotter

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Looking over my list of Monday Melodies so far, I noticed I only included two songs from the ’90s so far, which surprises me since the ’90’s may be my favorite decade for music (It was a lot more versatile than other decades) before it all went to hell.

Although Pearl Jam was classified as “grunge” and came out of Seattle at the same time as Nirvana, Soundgarden, and Alice in Chains in the early ’90s, some grunge purists argue that Pearl Jam isn’t really grunge at all and really owes more to classic rock than to punk or grunge. I probably agree with that, but for me it’s not a problem, because I grew up listening to classic rock. On my local classic rock station, you can hear Pearl Jam played along with Led Zeppelin and the Stones. There was no one who could look crazier than Eddie Vedder on stage, but he sure could sing his butt off and there really aren’t any Pearl Jam songs I don’t like.

Betterman was released in 1994 (has it really been 22 years?!) and is one of their more well known songs. It’s not everyone’s favorite, but I love it. I actually like its pop-rock sound.

Ask yourself…

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“Doctor shopping”? Oh, PLEASE!

Posted on May 8, 2016 by luckyotter

Not long ago, I wrote about my housemate, a woman several years older than me who lives with chronic, unrelenting, severe pain due to a number of chronic medical conditions. I ranted about how none of the doctors will prescribe this woman any pain medicine, because of the dumb drug laws in this state, which are very strict. But IMHO, they’ve gone way too far. If you’re wealthy, of course, you can pay a doctor to give you pain medicine, but because this woman is on SSDI and gets Medicare, she doesn’t have much choice in who she can see. Now she is being accused of “doctor shopping” and is required to attend an evaluation for substance abuse before anyone can prescribe her anything. As far as I know, this woman has never been addicted to drugs! Oh, but she might *get* addicted. *eyeroll* She might even be distributing, even though she is 60 years old, can barely walk, and doesn’t know anyone here anyway. So I guess she’s just supposed to LIVE with the pain? If it were me, you’d better believe I’d be “doctor shopping.”

She’s supposed to be having surgery (knee and shoulder replacement), but they keep putting it off and in the meantime, are doing NOTHING to help her.

I wouldn’t normally get involved in something like this, because under normal circumstances it would violate my boundaries (and probably hers too), but I wrote this letter of my own accord, because I am at my wit’s end and my boundaries are being violated anyway, by this woman’s constant pain I must deal with. I will not toss her on the streets (although I could and may have to if things don’t get better or she gets much worse) but it’s very, very difficult to live with someone in severe, chronic pain who talks about nothing else, even if it’s a close relative like your mother, but this is a woman I didn’t know from Adam until last October. I don’t know how much this letter is going to help (it’s probably more useful as a rant to get things off my own chest); she probably needs to get an advocate (I know they’re out there), but I have no idea how she would go about getting one. The behavior of the so-called “medical profession” toward people like my housemate is appalling, in my opinion. So I ranted off in this letter, which I hope you can read. You may need to click on the photos to make them large enough to read.

One step up on the corporate ladder!

Posted on May 8, 2016 by luckyotter

This seemed so insignificant at first I almost forgot to post about it.

On Thursday I was summoned by my boss, who told me I’m being promoted to a semi-supervisory position. It doesn’t pay a lot more and the job isn’t really any less crappy, but it’s still recognition for being good at my crappy job, and that does feel kind of good, especially in a crappy economy in a geographic area where good jobs are scarce and almost everyone who isn’t independently wealthy is slaving away at McJobs and trying to get by on $8 an hour.

I never asked to be promoted at this job, and really don’t care that much one way or the other (what I really want to do is write and publish a book–what’s stopping me, anyway?), but I realized that this promotion really is kind of a big deal, because I’m one of those people who is rarely chosen for promotions in most jobs (in spite of almost always getting excellent performance reviews). I think I get overlooked a lot because I never projected much confidence and always tended to be a pushover in work situations and fade into the woodwork. I think therapy is making me act more self confident or something, and this is a small testament to to that. I also noticed people seem to like me more than they used to, or maybe it’s just that I’m less hypervigilant now and don’t keep imagining that everyone hates me.

Re-mother’s day gift.

Posted on May 7, 2016 by luckyotter

I’ve always liked to buy small gifts for myself when I can afford to (usually something natural like rocks or plants). Because I’m reparenting myself (with the help of my therapist and God), I decided to treat myself to a Mother’s Day gift. I bought some wind chimes, a few summer outfits from Goodwill (don’t knock it — you can’t beat the prices and I can always find something perfect), and this ridiculously adorable “string of pearls” plant (Senecio rowleyanus, a succulent vine that grows in Southwestern Africa) hanging from a tiny clay pot and surrounded by a copper wire in a heart shape:

Isn’t it cute?

My tuxedo cat, Sheldon, reminding me he wants to be the center of attention.

Fine, Sheldon. Are you happy now?

Just Saying ~ May 6th

Posted on May 7, 2016 by luckyotter

So true.

Blog of a Mad Black Woman

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We don’t need a malignant narcissist in the White House.

Posted on May 6, 2016 by luckyotter

Donald Trump is such a narcissist that Barack Obama looks at him and goes, ‘Dude, what’s your problem?’ — Ted Cruz

I’m talking about The Donald, of course. Most politicians have a narcissistic style or narcissistic traits, but we have probably never had a president with fullblown NPD. Author and narcissism expert Sam Vaknin has watched over 600 hours of footage of Trump and pegs him as a malignant narcissist. I believe him. Yikes!

Former Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz had a few words about Trump too. He was enraged when Trump accused Cruz’s father of being involved in JFK’s assassination, and exploded to the press. Here is the transcript of that, and an accompanying video of Cruz’s entire rant.

http://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2016/05/03/cruz_explodes_pathological_liar_trump_a_narcissist_at_a_level_i_dont_think_this_country_has_ever_seen.html

The #1 thing that makes me question God’s existence.

Posted on May 5, 2016 by luckyotter

TRIGGER WARNING: Photos in this post may be triggering to abuse survivors.

I believe in God. I also believe God answers prayers and God sometimes even performs miracles. I’ve seen it happen in my own life, and in the lives of people close to me.

But tonight I was reading a site about abused children–not children with narcissistic parents who grew up into emotionally damaged, but physically and mentally normal adults, but children who never had a chance at all. Children like 3 year old Jeffrey Baldwin, who was tortured almost from the day he was born, and whose photos show both the emotional and physical destruction of a human being, and ended in a painful, horrible death by starvation at the age of three. Or children like a 4 month old baby girl, whose name escapes me, who was repeatedly raped and tortured by her own father, and died of internal injuries. These are just two examples of children who God seems to have forgotten, but they are far from the only ones.

There’s bruising on Jeffrey’s face, but he could still smile.

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Jeffrey Baldwin, second from the right. He could no longer smile; in these later photos he looked this way in almost every picture, before the light went out in his eyes.

Local Input~ UNDATED — JEFFREY BALDWIN — Photo of Jeffrey Baldwin at the time of his death from evidence provided by the coroner. The inquest into the murder of Jeffrey Baldwin, whose grandparents beat and starved him to death began Monday, September 9, 2013. Jeffrey weighed less than 10 kilograms and was emaciated when he died of starvation in November 2002.
CREDIT: CORONER EXHIBIT
(source: From: “McConnach, Robert (MCSCS)” ŠRobert.McConnach@ontario.ca>, Rob McConnach -Coroners Constable , Office of the Chief Coroner, Province of Ontario, 15 Grosvenor St., Toronto, Ontario, M7A 1Y6, Tel. 416-314-4200, Fax 416-314-3935 )/pws

A few days ago, there was a thought provoking and inspiring article called The Surprising Gifts of Suffering on the Dreams of a Better World blog (the post is in two parts), in which my friend speculated on the reasons why God allows people to suffer, some horribly. For emotional abuse victims, her argument that God is attempting to hone us and shape us into something more and draw us closer–knowing our souls are strong enough to withstand the abuse–make a kind of sense. We may not realize we were even abused until 40, 50, or even 60 years of age, but once we realize what happened to us, that’s when we begin to heal. Then we have something to teach the world. Many of us grew close to God because other humans proved to be so untrustworthy. We may never fully overcome the emotional damage, but if we keep an open mind and ask the right questions and learn the right lessons, we can reach out and begin to help others who were in the same situation. God knows we have the ability to turn our pain and suffering into something good and beautiful, which may be the reason we got handed that particular crappy deck of cards. Maybe.

I can even understand, to a point, sick and starving children in third world countries. Although they live in unimaginable poverty and squalor, suffer physically almost from the moment they are born, and in all likelihood will die at an early age, they usually still experience joy, acceptance, and love. Their families suffer along with them, and photos show these children being held and loved by mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, friends, and neighbors, who are all in the same boat. They don’t suffer alone. The healthier among them may still even laugh and play. Not knowing anything about prosperity, they are more able to enjoy the simple, natural pleasures that life offers.

But when I read about a case like little Jeffrey Baldwin, I just shake my head in sad bewilderment. I don’t understand how God could allow something like that to happen. For what reason? Some people may think it’s because God allows free will and Satan has dominion over a fallen world. But as I explained in a post I wrote a few days ago, I don’t believe the devil, if he exists at all, has that much power. Even if he did, why wouldn’t God step in and protect a helpless child who never had a chance, who no one prays for and no one cares about? If God loves us all, why would he allow an innocent life to be completely wasted, with no chance of redemption? Even if their souls go on to heaven, why would he put them here on earth, if their only fate here is to suffer and then die? If yelling at and cursing God is a kind of prayer, as a commenter the other day suggested it really is, then I guess I’m praying when I angrily implore to the heavens, “God, why THE HELL do you allow these things to happen?”

Terrible Real Estate Agent Photos #2

Posted on May 5, 2016 by luckyotter

I can’t get enough of these. Here’s the second installment. If you need more, like I do, you can visit their website:

http://terriblerealestateagentphotos.com/

This property was previously used as Module 3 in an Aversion Therapy course to treat severe paranoia.

For a variety of reasons, this is one shower that should be checked thoroughly before use.

Some people like to read while on the toilet. Others prefer to be inundated by multiple confusing and contradictory reflections of themselves, repeating into infinity.

“Paint me like one of your French girls“

This bathroom features a small sink, a mirror, and a man with a beard who just sort of stands there.

That way you can still work on the garden even if it’s raining.

“Totally safe, I swear. They’re not due back til the afternoon”

“OK guys they’re coming back. Hold still and stay quiet.”

Garden Chairs of Solitude are notoriously easy to offend. It’ll take a sincere apology to bring this one back to the table.

The first Garden Chair of Solitude Olympics were not a success.

Terrible Real Estate Agent Photos #1:

Terrible real estate agent photos.

Snow in MAY?

Posted on May 4, 2016 by luckyotter

I just heard my local forecast on the news. Some locations in my area are predicted to get SNOW tomorrow morning! Temperatures were unseasonably cool today, and tomorrow is actually going to be cold, at least in the morning. Guess I better bring in the plants overnight.

This has been the craziest year for weather ever. I remember how warm Christmas was–it was about 74 degrees here and I sat outside in flip flops and a T-shirt. Guess Mother Nature is bored and is mixing thing up for shitz and giggles.