Knowing the Narcissist: a triggering blog for ACONs but could be useful.

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I stumbled across a WordPress blog yesterday written by a self-professed Malignant Narcissist. The name of his blog is, simply enough, Knowing the Narcissist.

Indeed, to read Malignarc’s entries is to know the mind of a high spectrum, unrepentant, sociopathic malignant narcissist. I can’t tell too much about the man from the posts I have read, other than that he claims some sort of renown (his fame may be exaggerated for all I know, after all he’s a narcissist and they’re known to exaggerate their achievements*), he lives in Great Britain, and he’s unceremoniously devalued and discarded (and possibly done worse) many hapless women. He’s in treatment and talks about his sessions quite a bit. He likes to challenge, gaslight, and play mind games with his therapist. From what I can gather, he’s not in treatment by choice but by obligation, which makes me wonder if he committed some sort of crime.

Knowing the Narcissist is creepy and unsettling, and could be triggering to many victims of narcissistic abuse. The first thing that hits you on the blog is a huge banner with a fiery background on which huge black letters spell out the word “EVIL” (it turns out this is the name of one of his novels but it’s still fitting).   It’s not exactly a subtle warning. You can leave now, or keep reading at your own risk. Being endlessly curious, of course I kept reading. His posts are addictive. They grab you and hold you in a vise grip, and even when you don’t think you can stand another second of the bleak and frightening view from inside the man’s deeply disordered mind, you simply can’t tear yourself away.

As with another narcissistic writer who writes about his NPD, Sam Vaknin, you feel pulled against your will into Malignarc’s dark vortex, but unlike Vaknin, he’s completely self-satisfied and happy (as much as it’s possible for a narcissist to be happy) with his own narcissism. Also unlike Vaknin, he hasn’t had the good manners to exile himself to a remote Eastern European country and marry a woman from there. Malignarc is still very much at large. Ladies beware!

I boldly commented under one of his posts, asking him why he writes a blog like this, thinking he must have some small semblance of a conscience that drives him to do so. He replied back almost right away, explaining that he started it because he “likes an audience” and that it’s also a requisite of his treatment. Well, at least he answered my question, and promptly at that.

Whoever has required him to get psychological treatment is wasting their time (and money, if it’s being paid for). I’m one of those who thinks that certain lower-spectrum narcissists (usually covert) who become self-aware can be healed if they’re willing to do the emotional work, but a narcissist like Malignarc can’t ever be cured or successfully treated, since he expresses no regrets over how he has treated the people in his life and appears to have no conscience or empathy whatsoever. He also appears to have almost no emotions other than seething rage. He gloats about the way he devalued and discarded one of his victims, writing glowingly about his new source of supply (who no doubt will become his next victim):

Yes I am with Lauren now. She is wonderful. She is everything I have ever wanted and I am her soul mate. I know that we are going to be very happy together now. She is the one. I know I thought that of you, but you misled me. Lauren is not like that. I am moving in with her next week. It makes perfect sense. I want to be with her all of the time. She is beautiful, just look at her, perfectly put together. She is so shiny and new. I am head over heels in love with her, I cannot be apart from her. Take a look. If you had been more like her then I would not have had to punish you the way I did. That is not going to happen with Lauren. No way. I can only see a bright and beautiful future for us. I hope she falls pregnant soon as our child will be such a wonder to behold. Thank God I did not have a child with you. Imagine that? Good God that would have been terrible having to share a child with a monster like you. Lauren will be a first class mother, we have already talked about it and I can tell that she is keen. She adores me and always will. Not like you. You had your chance but you messed it up. You only have yourself to blame.

This diatribe goes on and on. The discarded woman the post is directed to shouldn’t hate or be jealous of Lauren; she should warn her.

Knowing the Narcissist could be useful to victims, if you’re able to stomach it. You do get a close-up look inside the mind of a person with severe NPD and he does a good job of explaining the motivations, machine-like manipulations, and soulless Machiavellianism driving his toxic actions. His words could serve as a warning to the rest of us, by serving as a graphic example of what really makes a narcissist tick so you don’t get duped into falling for one of these characters ever again. I can’t say he’s performing a public service, since that’s clearly not this man’s intention, but it could be a side-benefit.

*He’s an author who writes under the name of HG Tudor

Introducing my guest bloggers!

Cupcake-Guests

Following are the blogs of those who have kindly volunteered to write guest posts for this blog.   They are listed in the order in which they volunteered.   Please visit their blogs!

1. discoveringratchet.wordpress.com
Topic: Depression and ADD

2. theinvisiblef.com
Topic: C-PTSD

3. justplainolvic.com
Topic: Unspecified

4. confessions92.wordpress.com
Topic: Mental illness stigma

5. lettersnevermeanttobedelivered.wordpress.com
Topic: Bipolar, ADHD, anxiety and C-PTSD

6. survivorroad.wordpress.com
Topic: Depression and C-PTSD; childhood sexual abuse

7. bipolarcompass.com
Topic: Bipolar II (manic phase: hypersexuality)

8. wtmlpart2.wordpress.com
Topic: Bipolar I (rapid cycling)

9. https://ablogabouthealingfromptsd.wordpress.com/
Topic: C-PTSD; mental illness stigma
(Note to Linda Lee: don’t you dare end your blog! Still not getting your comments in my notifications though.:( )

10. tessacandoit.com
Topic: BPD, Bipolar, PTSD

11. swmseeks.wordpress.com
Topic: C-PTSD due to abuse and wartime trauma; mental illness stigma

12. theothersideofme.net
Topic: Depression, anxiety and alcoholism

13. donshelby.wordpress.com
Topic: C-PTSD caused by narcissistic abuse

14. abodyofhope.wordpress.com
Topic: Mental illness (unspecified); mental illness stigma

15. enabilityblog.wordpress.com
Topic: Narcissistic abuse (provisional–this blogger hasn’t decided whether or not to write a post yet but I still want to feature their blog.)

16. cherished79.wordpress.com
Topic: Unspecified–possibly narcissistic abuse

The 16 kinds of bloggers: which one are you?

I just dug this one out of the dark recesses of the otter’s den and it appears it could use a little sun so I’m throwing it out there on the interwebz again.

luckyotter's avatarLucky Otters Haven

different_bloggers

There are as many types of bloggers as there are blogs. Here I’m going to describe the 15 different types of bloggers I’ve encountered in the blogosphere. Which one are you?

1. The Self-Therapist.
I began my blogging experience as a member of this category. Having just left a long, abusive relationship, I felt the need to document my journey to recovery after abuse by writing about it. My intuition told me that making my therapeutic journal public for all eyes would ultimately be more beneficial for me than just putting it on WordPad or something. My intuition proved correct and I’ve been able to help others too, just by going public. Now I seem to have moved more in the direction of The General Purpose Blogger (#13). This type of blog has become increasingly common in recent years, probably because of the sagging economy that makes it difficult for…

View original post 1,229 more words

20 ways to lose followers.

Tired woman are sleeping and holding cup. Laptop is situated on the table.

As a blogger, I admit I’m guilty of doing some of these things myself.  So I’m writing this  post as a reminder to myself to stop doing these things, and hope other bloggers can take away something from this list too.

1. Don’t allow comments.

Some blogs, especially those dealing with mental illness or abuse, don’t allow comments because negative comments can be very triggering to people struggling with these things, and you are going to get negative comments.   It can’t be avoided.  But as a general rule, it’s good to allow comments because it makes your blog more interactive.  Real conversations get started that way and build a feeling of community, which can make your followers stick around and your blog more engaging.

2. Be a comment nazi. 

Some bloggers don’t want anyone to disagree with them and will not approve or delete comments that question the blogger’s point of view.   While it’s certainly fine to block or delete abusive comments, only allowing comments that agree with your point of view doesn’t allow for healthy debate, which always make a conversation more interesting. It also makes you look like an intolerant, narcissistic jerk.

3.  Be too lenient with comments.

If you allow abusive comments on your blog,  you run the risk that people might be run off by the trollish remarks or fear speaking up themselves because they might be attacked.

4.  Don’t tolerate any disagreement. 

Related to #2, some bloggers like to attack anyone who disagrees with them.  Debate is fine, but engaging in personal attacks and the Internet version of a fistfight on a regular basis will just run off your regular followers.   It’s always best to not feed the trolls.

Close-Up Of Stray Dog Snarling

5. Fail to acknowledge comments.

I see this a lot.   Sometimes you won’t know what to say to a comment or have nothing new to add to their point, and that’s fine.   If you reply to only 50% of your comments, that’s good.  Obviously, the higher the percentage the better.     Use the “Like” button on comments you don’t reply to, so the commenter knows you at least saw it.  Not replying or using the Like button makes your readers feel like you didn’t read their comment or don’t care.

6. Write boring content.

Some blogs document the blogger’s day, and while the activities described may be mundane, if presented in an interesting or humorous way, or if they use pictures or graphics, such otherwise dull posts can actually be engaging.   But if all you do is write a long wall of text about your dog throwing up on the rug and what cereal you ate for breakfast and your writing style or presentation isn’t creative or engaging, you will just put your readers to sleep and they’ll go elsewhere.

7. Don’t check your spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc. 

No one wants to try to pick through a badly written, misspelled post full of run on sentences, horrible grammar, and wonky punctuation. Spellcheck is your friend, and if you can’t put a proper English sentence together, then maybe you shouldn’t be blogging.   Publishing a post full of errors and typos is also is disrespectful to your readers.

8. Be dishonest.

Those of us who write creatively can and do embellish a few details to make our posts come alive but outright lying can never be disguised.  A post that’s dishonest comes off as insincere and your readers will be able to tell.  If you want to write fiction, then write fiction, but call it fiction  and  don’t disguise it as the truth when it’s not.

lying

9. Don’t break up your text.

I’ve ranted about walls of words many times before so I won’t belabor this again.  It’s a pet peeve of mine.   People don’t like reading walls of text.  It hurts their eyes and gives them a migraine.   Use paragraph breaks, subheaders, pictures or graphics to break up a long post into bite size pieces.   Or compile your content into a list.   Your readers are civilized human beings who like to eat their steak in small pieces, not chomp it down whole like a wolf or a caveman.

10. Use garish colors and graphics.

Fortunately, the themes WordPress makes available are tasteful and very hard to make look bad.  In the early days of the web, there seemed to be a lot more websites that were the cyber equivalent of a bad acid trip and used garish, flashing graphics, blingies, and ugly fonts in neon colors that clashed with their neon backgrounds.  MySpace was infamous for this and that was part of its downfall.  Your blog shouldn’t look like The Strip in Vegas or an explosion at The Fun Factory.   It should look more like a pastoral landscape, Park Avenue in New York, or Main Street in a pretty small town.  Don’t be tacky.  It’s also not nice to cause your readers to have epileptic seizures.

ugly_website

11. Pass yourself off as an expert when you are not.

If you write about a highly specialized topic such as mental health, science, or medical issues, and you are not an expert yourself, please use a disclaimer stating that you are not a degreed professional or at least use phrases such as “in my opinion…” or “I think…”.   Otherwise you not only come across as a know it all, but you could also get in legal trouble.

12. Don’t comment on other blogs.

We know, taking care of your own blog is time consuming and it’s just hard to find time to comment on other blogs.   You don’t have to do this every day, but if you never comment on your followers’ blogs, they may unfollow yours.  No one likes to feel like they’re doing all the work in a friendship.  By commenting on other blogs, you not only show goodwill and build community, but you also increase the likelihood they may link to yours or add you to their blogroll, which increases your hits.  If you don’t have time to comment, at least “Like” their posts.  Let them know you at least acknowledge their existence.

13. Write troll posts.

Writing a controversial post just to be controversial may get you attention for the short term, but it’s likely to be negative attention.  Do you really want that?  Also, the attention you get won’t last.  People will come to gawk, and then move on to more worthwhile things.   While it’s fine (and courageous!) to write something controversial if you feel passionate about it,  deliberately writing incendiary posts is like walking around in public slapping random people in the face.   You’ll get attention alright, but it won’t be the kind you want.  Most people will run like hell.

14. SCREAM AT PEOPLE.

NEVER USE ALL CAPS.  NO ONE WANTS TO BE SCREAMED AT.

man-screaming-at-computer

15. Use too much profanity.

While a well placed expletive can give your post more impact, peppering every sentence with four letter words has the opposite effect and distracts attention away from the point you’re trying to make.    It just makes you sound immature, stupid, and obnoxious.

16.  Publicly whine about other blogs having more hits, likes or followers than yours.

Envy is rife in the blogging world.    I’ve seen more posts than I care to from bloggers ranting about how few followers, likes or hits they have, or even worse, kvetching about how much better other blogs are doing than theirs.   While one or two such posts are fine, especially for a newbie whose activity is likely to be low (during my second week blogging, I wrote a post called “I’m Frustrated,” which Opinionated Man reblogged and helped me get new followers), if you continue to do this or make a habit of it, you just come off like a crybaby or a spoilsport, and you’ll wind up losing followers who don’t want to deal with your hysterics.

17.  Brag about how many hits, likes, and followers you have. 

I admit I’ve been guilty of this, but you should avoid it.   It will make people hate you, especially other bloggers.   If you must crow about how well your blog is doing, disguise it by hiding it within a helpful context (for example, you can write a post about how to gain followers,  in which you can use your blog as an example but be careful not to overdo it–people can smell that shit like a drug dog smells cocaine).

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Credit: John Worsley: “Toad”

18.  Be a pointless blog.

I’m not talking here about blogs that don’t have a certain topic as their focus.  There are many great general purpose blogs with posts about anything and everything. I’m talking here about blogs that have no original content.   There are blogs that seem to exist solely to post links to other people’s blogs or regurgitate other’s material.  I always wonder why these blogs exist at all.  Why not just go to the original blogger’s site instead? “Bloggers” who never post original content seem more like secretaries than bloggers, and less useful than a secretary because they won’t even make you coffee.  For some reason, blogs like that also seem to contain viruses.  It’s like having a secretary with typhoid.

19.  Plagiarize and don’t credit others.

Not only will not crediting or plagiarizing others make people angry at you, it will get you in trouble too.  Don’t do it.  If you can’t find the source for something, don’t use it.

20.  Try too hard to be cool.

Some blogs seem to exist just to be cool or edgy.   If you don’t believe in what you’re posting about, and are just doing it to impress others or appear cool, people will be able to tell and will press the backspace key faster than you can put on your groovy sunglasses. People who try too hard to be cool are annoying and pathetic, and that’s not cool.

Blogging party #2

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My first ever blogger meet & greet was almost a month ago, and it was a huge success (thanks everyone!), so I decided to have another one. There are so many great blogs I don’t know about that I’m sure I should (and others should know about too), so please share your blogs, articles, projects, etc. Everyone’s invited!

What’s in it for you: you should notice at least a small boost in your views after sharing your links here.

Bloggers: share your stuff here!

old_typewriter

Good morning, fellow bloggers! I’m taking a page out of Opinionated Man’s book of tricks and asking you to share your blog, favorite post, or most recent post here. I also feel like it’s time to pay it forward for all the help I received when I was new to blogging. This blog gets enough traffic now that posting your link here should give you a small boost in hits.

If I’m really impressed by your article or blog, I may reblog it or write a short post about your blog. So let’s see what you’ve got.
If this experiment has a good turnout I may do more of these in the future.

Nano Poblano 2015: dead in the water.

nanopoblano_fail

I won’t be able to post a “I Survived Nano Poblano 2015” sticker in my sidebar this year because I didn’t make it through even the first week of November.

Last November, I posted 85 blog posts, mostly original articles. That’s almost three per day. This year is a lot different. November 2015 is almost over and I’ve only posted 28. I estimate that by the last day of this month (only a week from now) I might make it to 40–a little over one post per day–and that’s a big maybe.

A year ago I was a two month old new blogger walking around in a star-struck fog, blissed out by the excitement and novelty of all that went with being a new blogger and knowing people all over the world actually read–and cared–about my thoughts and opinions. The rapid growth of this blog starting around this time last year (mostly because Sam Vaknin decided to Google himself and found an article I wrote about him) was a little like winning the blogging lottery.

But I’m jaded now. Although this blog has far more readers than it did last year, the little kid that was going crazy in the new-blogger candy store stuffing her face with every goody in sight is now a teenager worried about all that candy giving her pimples, and feeling a bit sick from eating all that sugar too.   But candy still tastes good, and so does writing, so I’ll keep doing it and enjoying it, even though I can forget about being able to post a “I Survived Nano Poblano 2015” sticker in my sidebar this year.

A year ago my life was still pretty much a mess and I was a lot less emotionally stable. Not that I’m exactly stable now, but I’m a lot more so. At least I think I am. Blogging had a lot do with my growth as a person. I have so much more insight and know so much more about myself than I did at this time last year (and boy, did I ever sound arrogant and full of myself last year too!), and that’s worth so much more than any award I could paste in my sidebar or the false pride that comes when when semi-famous people happen to stumble across my musings.

Not that I don’t appreciate those things. I do. But I’m perfectly okay with NOT having those things too and it was, after all, MY choice to not write every day. So congratulations in advance to all you fellow bloggers who will survive this month’s Nano Poblano challenge, especially the newbies!

The 16 kinds of bloggers: which one are you?

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There are as many types of bloggers as there are blogs. Here I’m going to describe the 15 different types of bloggers I’ve encountered in the blogosphere. Which one are you?

1. The Self-Therapist.
I began my blogging experience as a member of this category. Having just left a long, abusive relationship, I felt the need to document my journey to recovery after abuse by writing about it. My intuition told me that making my therapeutic journal public for all eyes would ultimately be more beneficial for me than just putting it on WordPad or something. My intuition proved correct and I’ve been able to help others too, just by going public. Now I seem to have moved more in the direction of The General Purpose Blogger (#13). This type of blog has become increasingly common in recent years, probably because of the sagging economy that makes it difficult for many people to be able to access or afford good psychotherapy.

2. The Journalist.
Somewhat related to #1, The Journalist writes about their daily experiences, observations, thoughts, opinions, activities, etc. for the whole world to see. The intention isn’t necessarily self-therapeutic, just a way to express to the world their subjective state or feelings at the time. If well written, these blogs can be brilliant and entertaining slices of life many people can relate to, sometimes rivaling New Yorker essays. But if the writer isn’t careful (or is a terrible writer), such posts could come off as narcissistic or just mind-numbingly boring.

3. The Show-Off.
This may be the most common sort of blog, and they are a dime a dozen. Basically an extension of a Facebook or social media page, Show Offs post blog entries documenting family picnics, children’s school events, Breanne and Jacob’s soccer trophies, the progression of the blogger’s pregnancy, home projects, the Family Trip to Disney World, “what I cooked for dinner for the kids last night using only leftovers,” and other bland minutiae of family life. These would be the infamous “Mommy blogs” that have become so vilified of late. Show Off blogs aren’t just limited to moms though–here you would also find teenagers and young adults posting pictures of their friends making silly faces, documenting their social activities, posting videos of drunken parties, and of course, lots and lots of selfies. Show Off blogs could also include pet lovers posting pictures of Fido sporting his new rubber boots or Fifi in her brand new tutu. In all cases, these sort of blogs are essentially extensions of their social media page. Sometimes these sort of blogs even include a Music Player (always the blogger’s current favorite song) that cannot be turned off when viewing the blog.

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4. The Vindicator.
Not that common, but there are a few blogs that exist solely to “get back” at a person or group of persons they feel offended them personally. Blog entries are basically endless rants against the offending person or group. Occasionally, the person or group attacked will attack back, and blog wars can arise. These kind of blogs tend to be short lived, until the blogger’s rage burns out, or the offending party (now the offended) threatens civil action.

5. The Pundit.
Many blogs are basically political soapboxes for people to spew their political beliefs. Nothing more needs to be said. There are also bloggers on larger news sites such as Huffington Post, who have been given their own license to do the same thing.

6. The Preacher.
Related to The Politician (above), The Preacher’s mission is to convert everyone to their belief system, whatever it may be. These blowhards may quote from the Bible or other religious text excessively to back their views. If you don’t do exactly as they say, you are going to burn in Hell. Disagreement in comments is usually not tolerated, and comments are sometimes not even allowed.

preaching-fire

7. The Expert.
Usually a professional in their field, such a blogger may be a paid guest blogger for a large website. Such experts could be doctors, psychologists, nurses, teachers, finance and business executives, or experts in any other field.

8. The Practical Muse.
These are the “how-to” bloggers, who focus on their hobbies or interests like cooking, gardening, home decor, beauty and fashion, child-rearing, car maintenance, blogging, etc. Sometimes the focus is more specific: bonsai gardening, dessert cookery, antique car maintenance, fashion for wannabe hip hop stars, raising a child with autism, blogging for fame and fortune, etc.

9. The Creative Writer.
These blogs can be either great or terrible. These are the blogs where you’ll find the angsty adolescent poetry, word-salad like prose, bad (or sometimes great) fiction, fan fiction, etc. This category sometimes bleeds over into #1 (The Self Therapist) or #2 (The Journalist).

10. The Hater.
Blogs like these exist to celebrate hatred toward a person (usually a celebrity or other public figure) or group of people. These blogs can be entertaining (if you agree with the prevailing sentiment) or infuriating (if you do not). Unless you are in a agreement, it’s probably best not to comment on these blogs, because you will be mobbed and acquire a new lower orifice in the process. Hater blogs tend to last only as long as the blogger’s passionate ire lasts, so they tend to burn themselves out (or are sometimes forced to be taken down by offended parties).

bieber_hate

11. The Motivational Blogger.
All sweetness and light and positive thinking, 24/7, 365 days a year. Such bloggers focus on inspirational memes, verses, quotes, and sometimes original essays, meant to make you feel inspired or motivated. Unfortunately blogs like these can sometimes have the unintended effect of making you feel like a horrible person or a failure because you’re not that upbeat, happy and successful all the time. Or they can simply be annoying.

12. The Artist.
A showcase for an artist’s creations, showing their paintings, sculpture, photography, jewelry, etc. Sometimes these can also be “Merchant” blogs, if the artwork is for sale.

13. The General Purpose Blogger.
Opinionated Man’s A Good Blog Is Hard to Find (formerly HarsH ReaLiTy) is such a blog. A General Purpose blogger writes about everything. Nothing is off limits. General Purpose blogs tend to become popular due to the fact they attract a large audience who have varying interests. The only problem with blogs of this type is the blogger can be seeming to spread themselves too thin, and the blog seems to lack a focus or sense of cohesiveness and can overwhelm readers with too much information.

This blog seems to be veering in the General Purpose direction too, because I’ve been running out of new things to say about narcissism (and frankly I’m getting a little burned out on the subject too). But it’s always been sort of a general purpose blog anyway, because from the very beginning only about 80% of my articles have been about narcissism or mental health. I’ve always written about other things too. It’s just that lately, “other things” is a larger chunk of the pie.

juggler

14. The Popularity Seeker.
These bloggers just want to get as many views and hits as they can. They want to present an image–a sort of online “false self,” if you will. They are trying to be cool and only write about things they think are cool or “cutting edge,” even if those things don’t really interest them. You can always tell a blog that’s trying too hard to be popular, because it will usually bore you to tears. You can just tell the blogger doesn’t really give a shit about what they’re posting, they just want as much traffic as they can get and want to present an image of something they probably aren’t in real life. Bloggers like these are usually narcissists or people with low self esteem using blogging to try to feel better about themselves.

15. The Merchant/Entrepreneur.
A blogger whose posts are essentially cleverly concealed advertisements for items or services they’re selling. Artist blogs (#12) often (but not always) bleed over into this category.

16. The Fan.
Like #10, fan blogs focus on a celebrity or other public figure, only the blogger is a fan instead of a hater. Haters of the blogger’s object of adoration need not comment.

“Why Crazy People Make Better Bloggers”

internet_friends

I know my blog can get pretty crazy sometimes. I’ve made no bones about my struggles with several mental disorders, my disastrous marriage to a psychopath, my history as an hypersensitive head-banging, hair-chewing child-dartboard, my early-adulthood stint with Scientology, my current poverty, my own narcissistic tendencies, my somewhat offbeat religio-political views, my unpopular opinions, and my tendency to be a socially awkward underachiever, among other delicate, controversial, and sometimes embarrassing things most people wouldn’t tell their second-best friend (or maybe not even their best friend).

I’ve gotten a lot more comfortable posting things about myself that are extremely personal or potentially embarrassing, knowing full well that thousands of strangers all over the world know things about me even my own children don’t know. I call this “running naked in public.” It’s liberating once you get used to it. (Of course it helps that I use an assumed name, not my real one). I feel like being this honest has made this blog more interesting than if I just posted my latest cookie recipe or about how to grow healthier backyard tomatoes. I feel like sometimes my most controversial, crazy, and strange posts become my most popular posts, just because they’re controversial, crazy and strange.

I don’t write those posts to be popular or cool though. I write them because I’m a strange and difficult person with a strange and difficult life. Maybe this blog gets so many views as a kind of online rubbernecking–“Hey, let’s find out what that weird borderline cat lady who thought she was an Aspie but really isn’t and who obsesses about narcissists and psychopaths and is afraid of relationships is doing today” or “Let’s see if that crazy woman who does exhibitionist self-therapy online and treats it like performance art has had any new ‘breakthroughs’ today.”

Or maybe it’s because somehow my brutal honesty about my personal life and recovery and my…well, overall weirdness somehow resonates with people and provides a voice for others who feel the same way as I do but don’t dare say it in public. Sometimes I wonder why people read this blog, but really, it doesn’t matter why if people like reading it, does it?

So I have to post this article I just saw at Forbes.com, because it sums up why weird and crazy blogs like mine tend to do pretty well.

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Why Crazy People Make Better Bloggers
By Susannah Breslin, for Forbes

“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently …” — Steve Jobs

Crazy people make better bloggers.

Heather Armstrong parlayed postpartum depression and a stint in a mental institution into a cash cow blog.

Penelope Trunk grew her blog to over 750,000 page views last month as someone willing to write about stabbing herself in the head, smashing herself in the head with a lamp, and having a miscarriage during a board meeting while dispensing career advice.

James Altucher shares with his blog readers a history of suicidal ideation, depression, and going broke with a manic frenzy that inspires others to buy his books.

In the Forever Recession, we are all entrepreneurs, and everybody knows the best entrepreneurs are crazy.

1. We’ll say what you won’t.

I started blogging in 2002. Over the years, as a blogger and journalist, I’ve written about developing PTSD, the time I wanted to kill myself, and why I loved writing about the adult movie industry. After I got downsized, anyone who Googled me about a job I had applied for could find these stories online. This probably didn’t help my chances of getting a job. It’s probably part of what led me to conclude I’m unemployable.

But that I had been working and living outside of the box for so long — bending the rules or refusing to admit they existed — is what helped me go from unemployed to self-employed in a matter of months.

I used to be on TV. Being on TV can be stressful. You have no idea what’s going to happen, and there are cameras recording whatever does. After one of my first TV gigs, I was driving home on a Los Angeles freeway. I was vibrating from the stress of what I had done, and I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Was what I had done good or bad? That’s when I decided it didn’t matter. I decided what did matter was that I was brave. I hold that true to this day. I don’t want to be a coward.

Read the rest of this post here.

Fore more about crazy blogging, please see my article, Crazy Ride.

Opinionated Man Update

I have no idea who is doing this to OM or why. It seems to me Jason is well liked by almost everyone and has helped so many bloggers when they’re just getting started. He makes them feel supported and welcome.

I think it boils down to envy. Jason has many followers, many more than any other non-commercial WordPress blogger I know of and that might not sit well for some. But frankly, Jason deserves the adulation because he always pays it forward and never feels threatened when another blog becomes successful. In fact, he’s more than likely to be cheering that blogger on and applauding their successes.

This is absolute bullshit and it breaks my heart.

OM, don’t let your haters get to you. You are better than them and why should you allow haters, trolls and other assorted malcontents who are obviously envious of you dictate what the content of your blog should be, or whether it should exist at all? Why give up something you clearly love doing so much?

When I was first getting started last year, I don’t know what I would have done without your help and your welcoming and supportive attitude. Not once did I ever feel like I was being dismissed or patronized because I was a “newbie.”

I feel sorry for new bloggers who won’t be able to benefit from all the support you have given me and so many others.

I want you to know I’m furious about this. I hope you stay around.