Knowing the Narcissist: a triggering blog for ACONs but could be useful.


I stumbled across a WordPress blog yesterday written by a self-professed Malignant Narcissist. The name of his blog is, simply enough, Knowing the Narcissist.

Indeed, to read Malignarc’s entries is to know the mind of a high spectrum, unrepentant, sociopathic malignant narcissist. I can’t tell too much about the man from the posts I have read, other than that he claims some sort of renown (his fame may be exaggerated for all I know, after all he’s a narcissist and they’re known to exaggerate their achievements*), he lives in Great Britain, and he’s unceremoniously devalued and discarded (and possibly done worse) many hapless women. He’s in treatment and talks about his sessions quite a bit. He likes to challenge, gaslight, and play mind games with his therapist. From what I can gather, he’s not in treatment by choice but by obligation, which makes me wonder if he committed some sort of crime.

Knowing the Narcissist is creepy and unsettling, and could be triggering to many victims of narcissistic abuse. The first thing that hits you on the blog is a huge banner with a fiery background on which huge black letters spell out the word “EVIL” (it turns out this is the name of one of his novels but it’s still fitting).   It’s not exactly a subtle warning. You can leave now, or keep reading at your own risk. Being endlessly curious, of course I kept reading. His posts are addictive. They grab you and hold you in a vise grip, and even when you don’t think you can stand another second of the bleak and frightening view from inside the man’s deeply disordered mind, you simply can’t tear yourself away.

As with another narcissistic writer who writes about his NPD, Sam Vaknin, you feel pulled against your will into Malignarc’s dark vortex, but unlike Vaknin, he’s completely self-satisfied and happy (as much as it’s possible for a narcissist to be happy) with his own narcissism. Also unlike Vaknin, he hasn’t had the good manners to exile himself to a remote Eastern European country and marry a woman from there. Malignarc is still very much at large. Ladies beware!

I boldly commented under one of his posts, asking him why he writes a blog like this, thinking he must have some small semblance of a conscience that drives him to do so. He replied back almost right away, explaining that he started it because he “likes an audience” and that it’s also a requisite of his treatment. Well, at least he answered my question, and promptly at that.

Whoever has required him to get psychological treatment is wasting their time (and money, if it’s being paid for). I’m one of those who thinks that certain lower-spectrum narcissists (usually covert) who become self-aware can be healed if they’re willing to do the emotional work, but a narcissist like Malignarc can’t ever be cured or successfully treated, since he expresses no regrets over how he has treated the people in his life and appears to have no conscience or empathy whatsoever. He also appears to have almost no emotions other than seething rage. He gloats about the way he devalued and discarded one of his victims, writing glowingly about his new source of supply (who no doubt will become his next victim):

Yes I am with Lauren now. She is wonderful. She is everything I have ever wanted and I am her soul mate. I know that we are going to be very happy together now. She is the one. I know I thought that of you, but you misled me. Lauren is not like that. I am moving in with her next week. It makes perfect sense. I want to be with her all of the time. She is beautiful, just look at her, perfectly put together. She is so shiny and new. I am head over heels in love with her, I cannot be apart from her. Take a look. If you had been more like her then I would not have had to punish you the way I did. That is not going to happen with Lauren. No way. I can only see a bright and beautiful future for us. I hope she falls pregnant soon as our child will be such a wonder to behold. Thank God I did not have a child with you. Imagine that? Good God that would have been terrible having to share a child with a monster like you. Lauren will be a first class mother, we have already talked about it and I can tell that she is keen. She adores me and always will. Not like you. You had your chance but you messed it up. You only have yourself to blame.

This diatribe goes on and on. The discarded woman the post is directed to shouldn’t hate or be jealous of Lauren; she should warn her.

Knowing the Narcissist could be useful to victims, if you’re able to stomach it. You do get a close-up look inside the mind of a person with severe NPD and he does a good job of explaining the motivations, machine-like manipulations, and soulless Machiavellianism driving his toxic actions. His words could serve as a warning to the rest of us, by serving as a graphic example of what really makes a narcissist tick so you don’t get duped into falling for one of these characters ever again. I can’t say he’s performing a public service, since that’s clearly not this man’s intention, but it could be a side-benefit.

*He’s an author who writes under the name of HG Tudor

16 thoughts on “Knowing the Narcissist: a triggering blog for ACONs but could be useful.

  1. Hmm.. This is dificult. I think it’s good that you let us know about this blog. But I wouldn’t really know what to do. Of course it’s rather unique and maybe interesting and it might help you. On the other hand, it can also work against you. And he wants you to read it, so by reading it we are sort of giving him supply.. I don’t think there is a right or wrong here, but it indeed is something to think about (and we can always change our decision).

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  2. I thought of the same things as Mel Hippo.
    We could always read it without acknowledging or “voting” on it, can’t we?
    I wonder if he’s just feeding us what he thinks we want to hear: Where does the chicken leave off and the egg begin?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The ex I wrote about in my last post…the guy who broke up with me via text, actually informed me in that text he was moving in with the woman he’d been dating toward the end of our fling. At the time of the text, I hadn’t known her name because when he talked to me about her (yes I knew) he’d always refer to her as “she” or “her”. I later learned her name is Lauren.

    Not a trigger, I thought it was just weird.

    Anyway, it would be beneficial for Lauren to be warned, but unfortunately she is probably so smitten that even if she were to read it in black and white she would likely find a way to explain it away. Or if she approached him and asked him about it after being told, he would explain it away and she would likely buy whatever it is he tells her.

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    • Oh jeez, I’m sorry! It must have been horrible for you to read that passage then, with the same first name and everything! It triggered me too, because I’ve been treated that way in relationships too (it truly does suck!) and having NO idea he would eventually treat the next woman the exact same way. Actually, in my case, the man MARRIED the woman he was cheating on me with…yes, I was jealous! He told me I wasn’t “smart enough” for him! He knew that would hurt me. They divorced in a year. By then I didn’t care anymore but thought it served him right. Thank God no kids though.

      I think that passage grabbed me because I can relate to the woman he’s “writing” to so much, and I know so many of us can.
      You’re probably right that Lauren is too taken in by his “charms” to want to listen if she were warned by the woman he dumped, and of course human nature being what it is, the dumped woman is NOT going to want to warn Lauren, but would probably rather kill her. Only after Lauren gets discarded too, they might have something to talk about.

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      • Oh it’s ok. Thanks though. I actually wasn’t triggered. I didn’t feel much about it as I was reading. Not that I never do. It still effects me sometimes. But I did a lot of pushing away and he is an overlapper with history to prove it.

        Some women may want to warn but the one hearing the info is just thinking the ex is just butt hurt. Besides, Lauren likely believes all kinds of lies about the ex anyway already. How SHE abused HIM the poor baby, etc. Their lives are made up sob stories to lure in their prey. But then I’m not telling you anything you don’t know.

        Sorry that happened to you. It was the most shocking text I’d ever received. I’d been standing at the top of my steps upstairs in the house when I read it. I actually swayed and had to grab the railing. It was awful.

        Liked by 1 person

        • I bet you were! Having to read something like that is such a horrible feeling. But sadistic narcs love to make you feel that way, it gives them a sense of power and control. Your reaction gives them supply. It’s so sick.

          Liked by 2 people

  4. Why do I feel as if ‘in the presence of Nosferatu’ when reading that excerpt you posted? As if this person is essentially molded into the nature of ‘moral disengagment’ regarding all other life-forms – as if everything and everyone exists solely to ‘make himself look and feel as good as is possible’?

    Secondly, I’m getting the impression you could do with ‘soothing’ right now – as in ‘hug/back-rub/tickle/whatever *really* helps you ‘manage’ bad feelings’. (Note: the reason I wrote ‘back-rub’ and ‘tickle’ is that 1) I’m the only person I truly know ‘from the inside’, and 2) NOTHING else that I know of gives that sense of ‘you’re ok, and I like you the way you are RIGHT NOW’. Oh, and it feels WONDERFUL also. One of the few advantages of having Sensory integragion dysfunction…)

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