Where I live, we’re lucky enough to have a good indie rock station that plays both old and new indie and alternative rock. Most of the new stuff isn’t getting radio airplay on the more commercial stations, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. There’s still good rock music being made but you have to look a little harder for it. Here’s one new song I can’t get enough of. I’m posting the lyric video–is this song a good candidate for my lists of songs about narcissism, or is it just about the end of a normal relationship?
I used to marvel at gospel and opera singers when I was a kid. It seemed like so many of them, if not most of them, were fat. To my young mind, this didn’t seem like a health problem, but a requirement for good singing. I imagined these singers’ big bodies to be filled with music instead of fat. Their big, powerful pipes would not have been able to make the sounds they did if they came from small, thin bodies.
On several occasions in the past, I’ve attended Black Baptist services and am always so impressed and moved by the gospel singers’ strong and powerful faith that they express through music, and the spiritual transcendance that infects the entire congregation whenever they sing. Their voices and harmonies alone can send the Holy Spirit into every spectator in the room. These big, soulful gospel hymns aren’t called “spirituals” for nothing! Even if you’re not a believer, you can’t listen to a Black Baptist choir and not feel their joy. Joy in spite of the harsh realities of racism, discrimination, oppression, grinding poverty, and a second class status in the white man’s world. Where does all that joy come from? Strong faith in the One who created them seems to be the only answer.
And while not all are, many of the singers with the biggest voices happen to be big ladies or men. I really think those big gospel singers need those imposing bodies to hold in the Holy Spirit that fills them with song, and then spreads to everyone who hears them. I call this “spiritual girth.”
Aretha Franklin started her career as a gospel singer and never gave up singing spiritual songs, like this big soul/gospel hit from 1968 (also recorded the same year by Dionne Warwick in a more subdued style). Burt Bacharach wrote the tune.
I came across a song called “You Don’t Know Jack” by Girl With Ukelele. It’s a fun little song about a not so fun subject — a narcissistic “friend.” There’s no video of it, so I linked to the post where I found it, which has an audio you can play. http://fawm.org/songs/57962
Here are the lyrics:
You, you’re always busting zongs
You think you know it all
But you don’t know Jack
You, you think you make the rules
You think you have them fooled
Cause you’re just on crack
chorus:
You may think I’m cruel but
You’re really just a weirdo
A narcissistic fool who thinks he is a hero
You, you think you are so cool
But you’re delusional
And just plain lazy
You , you think you’re so well liked
But they are just polite
They think you’re crazy
chorus:
You may be on top
Cause you lie and cheat to get there
But I will watch you drop
Cause you don’t deserve to be there
You, you kind of creep me out
Now that I figured out
You’re just a psycho
You, you are a parasite
I’m glad I saw the light
I’ve got your number
chorus:
You may think I’m cruel
But you’re really just a weirdo
A narcissistic fool who really is a zero
You, you think you know it all
Well you don’t know it all
You don’t know Jack
I’m not usually a big fan of all-female punk rock acts, but there are a few exceptions. One of the very first all-female punk bands was The Runaways (where the still-gorgeous rocker Joan Jett got her start), which got their start in the mid 1970s. The Runaways paved the way for early all-female rock bands like The Go-Gos in the early 1980s and even later than that, the riot grrrl movement of the late 1980s and early 1990s, which included acts like Bikini Kill, Hole, and Sleater-Kinney.
I wasn’t going to include “Cherry Bomb” as a Monday Melody, because it was never a huge hit in the United States. However, most of those who enjoyed hard rock and punk rock back in the day could really groove to this, and it’s full of attitude and swagger. These girls can rock like the boys. I love their raw sound. I just heard this song today and couldn’t stop watching this live video recorded in 1977, so this week it makes the list. Check out a 19-year old Joan Jett on guitar. She’s just as pretty today, at age 57! So is lead singer, Cherie Currie, who’s only a year younger. It’s truly hard to believe these girls are now all pushing 60!
I think Monday’s a day everyone could use a little music, so I decided to start a new regular feature on this blog, Monday Melodies. Each Monday, I will feature one song from the past that I really like and share it with my readers. I’ll give a little background about the song and explain why I like it so much.
This week’s selection is “Walking in Memphis” by singer-songwriter Marc Cohn.
This song was a big hit in 1991 and is the only hit for Marc Cohn. He wrote it after a trip to Memphis, Tennessee in 1985 which proved to be a musical and spiritual awakening for him. Many people think Cohn is a born-again Christian because of the line at the end, “Tell me, are you a Christian, child?” in which he replies, “Ma’am, I am tonight!” This is the song’s iconic line. It grabs your attention and pulls the whole narrative together. But Cohn is and was a New York Jew. He’s describing how he felt the pull of the religious fervor (and many would say the Holy Spirit) surrounding him as he sang “Amazing Grace” with 60 year old gospel singer Muriel Wilkins playing piano. (See the Wikipedia entry for more background.)
I love this song because to me, it’s perfect in nearly every way. Cohn’s voice is powerful and emotional, the lyrics are great, and the production isn’t overdone. It’s a song you don’t forget, and I think that’s why it’s still often heard on the radio, even though it’s 25 years old. It’s timeless. The gospel choir at the end gives me chills every time. The way the song ends reminds me of waking up from a beautiful dream for some reason.
My song lists about NPD and BPD are among my most popular posts (and are so much fun to put together), so I think it’s time to post another set. There are so many great songs about Cluster B disorders!
Since it’s sometimes so hard to distinguish lyrics about people with BPD from people with NPD, I’m going to just combine 10 songs I haven’t reviewed before in one new post, and specify which disorder I think is being described in the narrative, and where I’m not sure, I’ll say so.
Wherever possible, I tried to post the lyric videos.
1. The Cars: Dangerous Type
Thanks to Mary Pranzatelli for suggesting this one! This is a great, catchy song, the Cars were one of my favorite bands back in the day. I think this describes a girl with BPD.
2. Three Days’ Grace: Animal I Have Become
Three Days’ Grace (along with Alanis Morrisette) seems to have a lot of songs about personality disordered individuals. This rocker from the early 2000s seems to be sung by a guy with severe or malignant BPD (edging toward sociopathy) who is all too aware of how sick he’s become.
3. Smashing Pumpkins: To Forgive
A dark and poignant lament from a man with either BPD or NPD about the child he was whose soul was destroyed.
4. Of Monsters and Men: Little Talks
Duet where the female singer appears to be suffering from BPD and is having a dialogue about it with her worried lover.
5. The Beatles: Run for Your Life
There are few songs from the 60s about BPD or NPD and The Beatles weren’t a band you expected to write about such dark material anyway, but this lesser known of their songs seems to be about a really jealous guy with malignant NPD or psychopathy.
6. John Lennon: Jealous Guy
Well, related to the above, maybe John Lennon had issues, because he wrote this very pretty ballad about a guy lamenting the way he hurt his lover and he seems to have BPD.
7. Halsey: Gasoline
This woman describes what could be a bad case of self destructive BPD, even though Halsey’s Wikipedia entry says she actually suffers from Bipolar Disorder.
8. Shawn Colvin: Sunny Came Home
A pretty murder ballad about a woman who suffered a BPD psychotic break and snapped. She may have been a psychopath too since the murder was premeditated.
9. Limp Bizkit: Behind Blue Eyes
The singer is clearly a self-aware narcissist. Thanks to Akram for this suggestion!
10. Sia: Breathe Me
Poignant ballad about a young woman suffering with BPD.(Like Halsey above, Sia Furler’s Wikipedia entry states she actually suffers from Bipolar Disorder)
11. Kelly Clarkson: Because of You
Emotional ballad that portrays Clarkson as a young woman who suffers from emotional problems, possibly BPD. I’ve included the regular video because of the story it tells. She meets her child (true) self, who helps her to remember her narcissistic parents who caused her to develop severe self esteem problems. The video is also interesting in that Clarkson is shown periodically in what appears to be a house of mirrors. Clarkson appears to be in tears at the end.
If you enjoyed this post, please check out my other BPD/NPD song lists:
I’ve always railed against the fake kind of happiness whose intent is to diminish, belittle, and avoid responsibility or compassion, but there’s certainly nothing wrong with a little authentic positivity. When you really think about it, there are always things to be grateful for, no matter how seemingly insignificant they are.
So let’s start the new year thinking of things to be grateful for.
1. My relationship with God
2. My church
3. My empathetic therapist
4. My incredible son and daughter
5. My 2 cats
6. my small but cozy home
7. my 2 blogs, one which has grown enough I make a little money from it (about $40 a month from ads)
8. my ability to write what I feel and write it well (most of the time)
9. music — almost all kinds
10. my insight into myself (even my therapist is impressed)
Music always lifts my soul, so here’s a few of my favorite mood-lifting songs (this is by no means all of them!)
This ’90s rock hit, meant ironically or not, always makes me feel better even when I’m at my lowest.
I think James Taylor was talking about God here:
This emotional ballad helped me get through some really rough times.
I never grow tired of this huge dance hit from about 2 years ago because it’s just such a great song with a positive vibe and it makes me want to turn somersaults all over my house (which I can’t do but I still want to!)
My friend Mary’s ’90s-style hard rocker, “It’s In Your Head,” a song about narcissistic abuse, is now up on Youtube! (I posted the soundcloud version a few weeks back).
Please listen! She and her band are great. More new music from them will be coming soon!
Mary is a huge inspiration to me because since she left her abuser(s), she has come out of her shell and had the confidence to finally discover her musical talents and put together her band.
The two mirror images of Mary with her guitar form two white owls. You might have to look at the graphic from a distance, but it’s clear as day once you see it. Mary assured me this was COMPLETELY unintentional. So eerie!
My friend who is in recovery from narcissistic abuse has started an indie rock band and has a great new song about her experience.
Here is what she has to say:
Hello everyone!!
I put a band together as a way to heal from Narcissistic abuse, after the Narc I knew told me I needed to give him my Gibson Les Paul and that I’d never play music in a band called, NarCissistic Mary. Here is the Sound Cloud link to my first studio recorded song called, “Its In Your Head” (Introspectrum). I will be releasing more songs shortly with my band. Please join me and will all journey together artistically and musically on my Facebook band page called: NarCissistic Mary (the capital C is intentional!)
Thanks 🙂
Here is the song on Soundcloud–enjoy! And please share.
I was bored so I made a video of myself covering Blake Shelton “Sure B Cool if You Did.” I never made a karaoke video before, so I apologize about the poor video quality.
Lucky Otters Haven 