Narcissistic Rage

One surprising thing about narcissistic rage is that anger in general is narcissistic, even from non-narcissists. I don’t agree with this writer (who writes about narcissism every Friday from a Christian perspective), that ALL anger is narcissistic (for example, righteous anger can even be altruistic, if we are angry on behalf of someone else), but most anger probably is.

The other surprising thing about narcissistic rage is that it doesn’t always look like rage. It can appear in many forms in a narcissist (such as the silent treatment), who often plan out their attack in advance. Read on to find out how you can protect yourself and avoid reacting with rage yourself.

graceformyheart's avatarGrace for my Heart

It’s Narcissist Friday!   

The anger is always there. It lies just under the surface, almost waiting to erupt. When it is finally released, it will be dedicated to burning and destruction. Sometimes there are warning signs. Other times the rage explodes in an unexpected instant. But even with the warning signs, there is little you can do to stop it.

Narcissistic rage has been discussed in the psychological community for many years. Freud wrote about it. The reference to narcissism is not a reference to the person, but to the type of anger. It is an exclusive anger, designed to hurt or push others away. And it may not look like rage. It may be very subtle, under-handed, or even childish.

A man I know was getting a ride from another man. As he waited for the other to unlock his door, he put his briefcase on the roof…

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Full moon.

I had to take a photo of it.

full_moon
Click photo to enlarge.

Can I move to another planet?

earth

The official estimate of people with NPD is 1%. I bet it’s really much higher because that figure only counts narcissists who have been officially diagnosed.

But let’s just use that 1% for now. If there are 7 billion people in the world, that means there are 70 million narcs walking on earth.
That’s really scary.

I don’t care who reads this blog.

Back in February, my parents discovered this blog, despite my using a fake name. At first I was horrified, and then decided to write a letter to them and post it here in an attempt to defuse what I thought could be an…awkward situation.

Of course nothing happened. It’s not like my family (my mother in particular) has much to do with me anyway. I don’t use anyone’s real names so I can’t be sued. The worst that could happen would be…(drum roll please) SHE MIGHT SAY BAD THINGS ABOUT ME. 😮
Woo.

My FOO was already saying bad things about me anyway. After awhile of being afraid to post things about them, I started to again. I figured why the f*ck not.

It occurred to me maybe they were supposed to find it. Maybe it was God’s will. Maybe reading about how I felt for a change might even be GOOD for them. It’s certainly been good for me to get it out of my system–and has had the added benefit of opening up doors I thought were locked forever or never knew were there at all.

They look down on me because I never became “successful.” Well, I may yet become successful–not quite the way they had hoped though.

Writing about narcissism (and mental disorders caused by abuse) is my calling. It’s what I was born to do. I’ve never been more passionate about anything, ever. The life I was given was the best education I could have ever hoped for and has led to this.

Now my psychopathic ex knows I have a blog about narcissism too. He is trying to find it. He probably will. It’s not that hard to find. Apparently one of my kids told him and he’s worried that I might be writing about him.

iftheshoefits

Global warming, you say?

weather_forecast_asheville

It’s almost May and it’s 47 degrees outside and windy. Brrrrr!

Chicken soup for abuse survivors.

I love Delusion Dispeller’s videos. Follow her on Youtube.
This is so inspiring and I love the butterfly she wears on her cheek.

Schema therapy/reparenting for an NPD patient.

Schema therapy was developed by Dr. Jeffrey Young for treating personality disorders, which are deeply ingrained patterns of behavior that are not receptive to traditional therapies used for depression, anxiety, neurotic disorders, etc.
(You can read more about how Schema therapy is used for NPD patients here.)

NPD is one of the most difficult of the personality disorders to treat, and it’s rare a patient will present themselves for treatment, unless they have suffered a narcissistic crisis that led to them becoming depressed.

These three videos are part of a graduate school practicum, showing schema therapy in action on a narcissistic patient (non-pathological narcissism/low spectrum NPD).* In the first video (session 1) the patient, “Sam,” has come to therapy because he is having problems relating to his wife and feels rejected by his coworkers. He is easily irritated and shows a number of narcissistic traits, including entitlement and grandiosity. He doesn’t understand or have empathy for his wife’s complaints about feeling hurt by his “brutal honesty.”

In the second video (session 8), Sam begins to talk about himself at five years old, when he broke his arm and felt rejected because his immediate physical and emotional needs were dismissed by his mother, who took him to the babysitter instead of showing the empathy and concern she should have. Then he is asked to relate how “little Sam” feels and begins to explore the emotions he shut himself off from feeling because of his mother’s rejection.

In the third video (session 16), Sam begins to show emotional discomfort as the therapist has “little Sam” (his true self) talk to “Detached Sam” (his narcissistic mask). He admits he wants to be able to show his wife how much he loves her.

Session 1:

Session 8:

Session 16:

Schema therapy is also commonly used to treat people with Borderline Personality Disorder.

* The patient is an actor but this is still an interesting look at how this method of therapy works.