Posted on July 16, 2016 by luckyotter

One of my favorite sites is Faces In Things, which is actually a Twitter account I follow. Every day, people send in photos of things–anything at all–that looks like a face or even looks like something it isn’t. If you are on Twitter, you should definitely follow this account. You can actually scroll down to see other entries using the arrow on the right side of the embed.

I often look for faces when I’m lying in bed, half awake. I’ll stare at the shadows and patterns in the curtains or up at the horrible popcorn ceiling and see faces there. I know some people like to do this when they’ve been partaking in a certain weed too. 😉

But you don’t have to be half asleep or stoned to see faces everywhere. I decided to go for a drive today and take pictures of all the faces I saw. I hope you like them and my captions too.

U mad?

I’m sorry if I offended you.

All cars have a face. This one looked a little surprised to see me taking its picture.

This poor house looks so dejected. I think it needs a hug.

Here’s lookin’ at you, kid–with my new monacle!

Slurp!

Oh no, you again? You’re gonna spit in my mouth again, aren’t you?

Going postal

Posted on July 2, 2016 by luckyotter

Funny and inspirational entry from the Bluebird!

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I suffered narcissistic injury today and I’m not even a narcissist.

Posted on June 23, 2016 by luckyotter

old_lady

I’ve always taken pride in my youthful appearance. In spite of my age (I’m in my mid-50’s) most people think I’m in my 40’s or sometimes even in my late 30’s. I’ve never had a facelift or any cosmetic surgery. I don’t have a lot of gray hair. I’m in pretty good shape for my age too. Sometimes I even still get carded (although I do realize they’re carding everyone now). I still sometimes get looks from the opposite sex. The other day I was flattered when a construction worker was staring at me and said, “Hey, pretty lady!” When I was in my 20’s that kind of attention made me ragey. Now I love it because it doesn’t happen that often.

Today I worked with a new employee. We were driving in silence because I really didn’t feel like talking that much. I have a lot on my mind. I suppose she was uncomfortable with the silence and trying to make conversation, so here was her icebreaker:

“Why aren’t you retired yet?”

HUH?

I was at a complete loss for words. I was never so insulted. No one has ever said anything like that to me before. I worried. Have I suddenly become old looking in the last year or two? I don’t look like a spring chicken, but I certainly don’t think I look like I’m ready to retire either. What happened to the old etiquette, when if you were “of a certain age,” people politely didn’t ask you about it?

“I’m ten years away from retirement,” I spat. Yeah, I was mad. How dare she ask me something like that.

She stared at me. She wasn’t done with me. “You look like you used to party a lot,” she continued. “I bet you did, drinking and smoking weed with all those hippies at Woodstock back in the day.”

“I WASN’T A HIPPIE! I WAS 9 YEARS OLD WHEN WOODSTOCK HAPPENED!”

“Well, you look like you partied a lot. You look like you still party a lot.”

What the hell was THAT supposed to mean?

I was glad when the day was over and I was rid of this rude person. I’ve been stewing over what she said all day. When I got home, I asked my daughter to tell me HONESTLY how old she thought I looked. She said 42. When I told her what happened, she just laughed.

I guess I’m narcissistic about SOME things. I think everyone is. I decided to write about it because after all, it is pretty funny.

Weekends.

Image

It-is-the-weekend-meme

Frozen account.

Posted on May 16, 2016 by luckyotter

From an actual conversation:

My son (to his roommate):
Why is there a debit card in the freezer?

Roommate:
The account’s frozen.

Terrible Real Estate Agent Photos #2

Posted on May 5, 2016 by luckyotter

I can’t get enough of these. Here’s the second installment. If you need more, like I do, you can visit their website:

http://terriblerealestateagentphotos.com/

This property was previously used as Module 3 in an Aversion Therapy course to treat severe paranoia.

For a variety of reasons, this is one shower that should be checked thoroughly before use.

Some people like to read while on the toilet. Others prefer to be inundated by multiple confusing and contradictory reflections of themselves, repeating into infinity.

“Paint me like one of your French girls“

This bathroom features a small sink, a mirror, and a man with a beard who just sort of stands there.

That way you can still work on the garden even if it’s raining.

“Totally safe, I swear. They’re not due back til the afternoon”

“OK guys they’re coming back. Hold still and stay quiet.”

Garden Chairs of Solitude are notoriously easy to offend. It’ll take a sincere apology to bring this one back to the table.

The first Garden Chair of Solitude Olympics were not a success.

Terrible Real Estate Agent Photos #1:

Terrible real estate agent photos.

What sign is your personality disorder?

Posted on May 4, 2016 by luckyotter

Since this old post is currently going viral and is more for fun than anything else (and this blog could use a little lightness right now), I figured I’d throw this up here again. Enjoy!

Comments on the original post are expired, but you can leave comments here.

Lucky Otters Haven

This post is strictly for fun. It’s not meant to belittle personality disorders or the people who have them, nor do I believe in astrology. The idea came from a funny conversation I was having on Facebook today.

Cluster A Personality Disorders (anxious)

1. Avoidant: Cancer
(fearful of rejection, sensitive, homebody, shy, cautious)

2. Dependent: Pisces
(wants to be taken care of, clingy, passive, codependent)

3. Obsessive-compulsive: Virgo/Taurus
(clean/neat freak, obsessed with order and predictability; cautious and stubborn)

Cluster B Personality Disorders (dramatic, emotional)

1. Borderline: Libra
(wild mood swings, romantic fantasies, changes mind, can’t make decisions, can’t take sides)

2. Narcissistic: Scorpio/Aries
(vindictive when injured, easily offended; arrogant and entitled, infantile)

3. Histrionic: Leo
(full of themselves, dramatic displays of shallow emotion, vain, grandiose)

4. Antisocial: Gemini
(two faced, fast talkers, glib, deceitful, manipulative)

Cluster C Personality Disorders (odd or eccentric)

1. Schizoid: Capricorn
(asocial, reclusive, rigid, serious)

2…