My little girl is getting married!

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Talk about a whirlwind romance!   She started dating Robert (“Bobby”) in August, but they had been friends for a year or two before they fell in love, so it wasn’t like they were complete strangers.   They met through mutual friends.  There were a few problems at first in their relationship, but they seem to have gotten past and resolved them.

I’ve watched the two of them together, and I can honestly say I’ve never met a man who treats my daughter as well as Bobby does.  He shows no signs of any narcissism, or any personality disorder for that matter, although he has a few neuroses (but don’t we all).    He treats her like a queen but not in the typical wine and dine way of a narcissist.  He doesn’t shower her constantly with material gifts and dinners and flowers, but he’s considerate and empathetic and genuine, and he has taken to me too, and I to him.  I’m looking forward to calling him my son in law.  I think they will be good together and can grow and learn together as a couple.

He’s pretty stable financially, has never been married (he said he never met anyone he loved before), and also he is close to his own family who lives in this area.  At first I was concerned about his age, because he’s going to be 40 this month (he was born in 1979) and my daughter is just 25 (she was born in 1993).   But at her age, 15 years isn’t that huge an age difference, and it happens quite frequently that the bride is a younger than the groom.  She has dated boys her own age and in my opinion, they’ve all seemed a bit immature and self centered.  They certainly didn’t seem ready to support my daughter emotionally or financially (even though she will continue to work and don’t plan to get pregnant for at least a year or so).

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We’re not wealthy people by any means, but that doesn’t mean she can’t have a special day.   They don’t want to wait, so they are going to be married at the Courthouse next Monday (she’s not pregnant).  She ordered her own dress which by the way is absolutely beautiful and so flattering on her.   It’s a knee length long sleeve dress that is casual enough she could wear it for other dressy occasions.   I ordered her a pastel floral headband and some beautiful white ballet flats with a beautiful lace overlay.   She will wear my pearls (that I wore at my wedding) for something old and borrowed; a beaded off white clutch purse,  and a pretty bracelet with pale blue glass beads and rhinestones (for something blue).  This week she’s going to have her hair professionally done: a trim, and soft curls and highlights put in.

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Her dad and I will be there to sponsor them, and this Friday they’re going to the Courthouse to register.   After the little wedding, we’re going out to Carrabba’s for dinner (he dad has declined to join, which I’m relieved about) and then back to my place for a special cake I will have made for them.

Later on, if they want, they can always have another wedding with all the trimmings and a big reception, but I don’t think that’s a priority of theirs.  They just want to be married now!   I don’t blame them.  It will be lovely.

They have actually been engaged since the end of August (he was going to propose to her when we were at Myrtle Beach), but he didn’t have enough to buy the ring at that time, so he proposed on Christmas.   Here is the video I took of that.   She told me later she knew he was proposing, but by her reaction, you’d think she didn’t know a thing.

“Yes, I’ll marry you, stupid!”

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A little romance.

I love this photo of my daughter and her fiance.

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More family drama.

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My son with a huge telephoto lens The Parasite sent him.

The Parasite (my ASPD/malignant narc ex) is now giving my son the silent treatment. A few days ago, flush with all his new money, he sent my son a very expensive, professional quality Nikon camera and various photographic accessories. It was nice of him. But there were strings attached: my son was told not to tell me The Parasite got his $31K from the government or tell me about the expensive photographic equipment he received. The Parasite must have known he would tell me though, because my son has always been honest to a fault. He’s honest even when he shouldn’t be.

So my son called the other night and told me, and that’s how I knew. He could tell I was upset even though I was happy that at least he’d bought my son a camera. He then told Parasite that he’d told me, and his father went ballistic, and has now blocked his calls and blocked him on Facebook and told my daughter he doesn’t want to ever speak to him again.

I know it’s temporary; he’s played these narc games before. My son being The Parasite’s second favorite scapegoat (after me), is used to being emotionally abused by his father. Growing up, there wasn’t much I could do to stop it.

But now the wonderful gift my son got is tainted. I know it would bother me a lot to look at a gift given to me by someone who days later blocked me and refused to speak to me just because I was honest. Especially if I was honest to someone I loved as much as my son loves me. The Parasite knows my son prefers me to him (even though my finances limit me to cheap gifts) and that enrages him. It just makes me so sad. I hope he’s still able to enjoy the gift.

On a happier note, my daughter got her engagement ring! I think they have the date set for April 20th (4/20, lol). She will have just turned 23. That’s young, but not too young, and her fiance is 4 years older. This is what she wanted so I’m happy.

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