I loved this one hit wonder song when it came out in 1984 but it didn’t receive airplay much beyond its radio life, so like so many other songs that came and went over the years, providing my life’s soundtrack, I completely forgot about it.
Just a few minutes ago, I heard it on the radio (a local indie-rock station that plays both old and new music), probably the first time in about 20 years. It’s a song from one of the happier times in my life (which there haven’t too been many of), so it brings back pretty good memories.
I love when that happens. I wish it would happen more often. There’s probably so many others songs I completely forgot about, but would remember immediately if I heard them again.
No Doubt also covered this song in 2003. Their version is just as good. On side note, Gwen Stefani appears to be portraying woman with Histrionic Personality Disorder or maybe BPD.
Due to the enormous popularity of my previous articles about this topic (both of which now appear at the top of page one of Google–thanks everyone for making these so popular!), I’m adding 12 more songs about narcissism. Music and narcissism go together well– that’s one good thing narcissism has going for it, I guess. 🙂
The Songs.
1. “The Backstabbers” — The O’Jays
It’s very difficult to find songs about narcissists/psychopaths prior to the 1980s, but here’s an excellent one from the early 1970s.
2. “Ain’t It Fun” — Paramore
Catchy pop offering a badass challenge to a narcissist’s gameplaying.
3. “You Don’t Own Me” — Lesley Gore
Here’s another oldie (from the early ’60s) about a young woman involved with a narcissistic man.
4. “Mr. Know It All” — Kelly Clarkson
A modern take on Lesley Gore’s lament.
5. “Shadowboxer” — Fiona Apple
Apple’s musical poetry eloquently describes the way narcissistic mind games make you feel. Thanks to Amanda for suggesting this.
6. “Trouble” — Taylor Swift
The intro is pretentious and badly written, but Taylor does seem to have a way of attracting abusive and narcissistic men, at least in her songs, and this one is catchy as anything else she’s done.
7. “Black Sun” — Death Cab for Cutie
Alternative rock song about divorcing a narcissist. Thanks to Sachi for suggesting this one.
8. “Words as Weapons” — Seether
A man’s view on trying to deal with a narcissistic woman.
Last March I started watched American Idol (after several years of skipping the show due to loss of interest) when my kids told me a young man they knew from high school and who lives in our town had made the Top 13. In fact, one of my daughter’s best friends from middle school had been in this boy’s band when they performed locally (she also auditioned for American Idol several years earlier and got to Hollywood but was eliminated before semifinals).
The young man’s name is Caleb Johnson. Every week he made it through to the next round. When he made it to the Top 3, we attended his homecoming here in Asheville, not only a great deal of fun (I almost got trampled though and lost a shoe in the process!) but also fantastic publicity for our city. A little over a week later I remember sitting with my daughter as we bit our nails almost to the point of bleeding on finale night.
Well, he did win, in spite of most people thinking his equally talented competition (Jena Irene) would. Signs of congratulations went up all over town and it was front page news in the local newspapers. It was a HUGE deal here (not a whole lot happens in Asheville, haha).
Caleb is an old-school rocker, very Journey-esque. He even sounds a lot like Journey’s lead singer, Steve Perry. I didn’t buy his album (which didn’t sell very well) but I just love his new release from it, so here it is. Caleb works with kids suffering from cancer, and there is some very emotional footage here of a young cancer patient going to the “other side.”
Janis Ian’s “Society’s Child” is a ballad she wrote at age 13 about a forbidden love between a black boy and a white girl and her family’s disapproval. I was about 8 years old when it hit the airwaves in 1967. I loved it back then and I love it now.
“Society’s Child” was banned from many radio stations due to its controversial (for the time) subject matter of racism. It’s still somewhat controversial though hopefully much less so. I read that Janis got death threats for writing it.
You just don’t hear so much pure raw emotion in popular music anymore, or a song with as much artistry as this one. Janis gets so lost in this performance. I just love to watch her. She didn’t really become famous until her 1975 megahit “At Seventeen.” She was just 16 years old in this haunting performance on the The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour
I think the video production for its time is incredible. It’s hard to believe this video was made 48 years ago. I don’t understand why this hit from 1967 has been forgotten for so long. You just NEVER hear it.
I think it’s a classic.
Narcissism is a hot topic, and popular music is no exception, especially since so many songs are about relationships gone bad and breakups with narcissistic lovers. Whenever possible, I tried to include lyric videos.
1. Christina Aguilera: Vanity
Speaks for itself.
2. Sara Bareilles: King of Anything
Fairly recent, nice indie pop song about a not so nice malignant narcissist.
3. Queen: I Want it All
I couldn’t find a lyric video, but here’s the lyrics:
Adventure seeker on an empty street,
Just an alley creeper, light on his feet
A young fighter screaming, with no time for doubt
With the pain and anger can’t see a way out,
It ain’t much I’m asking, I heard him say,
Gotta find me a future move out of my way,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,
Listen all you people, come gather round
I gotta get me a game plan, gotta shake you to the ground
Just give me what I know is mine,
People do you hear me, just give me the sign,
It ain’t much I’m asking, if you want the truth
Here’s to the future for the dreams of youth,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,
I’m a man with a one track mind,
So much to do in one life time (people do you hear me)
Not a man for compromise and where’s and why’s and living lies
So I’m living it all, yes I’m living it all,
And I’m giving it all, and I’m giving it all,
It ain’t much I’m asking, if you want the truth,
Here’s to the future, hear the cry of youth,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now…
4. Madonna: Material Girl
Madonna purportedly suffers from NPD herself. I don’t doubt it. Still a great 1980s classic though.
5. Rush: Malignant Narcissism (instrumental)
No words, but the title says it all so it belongs here anyway. Good hard rock jam.
6. The Police: Every Breath You Take
The dude in this 1986 megahit definitely seems psychopathic to me.
7. Michelle Branch: Are You Happy Now
Angry pop rock from 2003 about a girl left by her narcissisict lover.
8. Three Days Grace: Just Like You
Don’t want to get infected by her evil!
9. Shawn Colvin: Get Out of this House
The lyrics are oblique and this song may not be about a narcissistic relationship, it could be just a bad breakup but it’s still a great song so I’m posting it anyway. I could not find a lyric video for this.
I have looked, but there seem to be very, very few songs about narcissism prior to the 1980s (isn’t that an interesting statement about how our society has changed?), but here’s a disco song with a victorious message about escaping from what appears to have been an abusive relationship with a narcissist. This has become a sort of female empowerment anthem but I don’t see why it couldn’t apply to guys escaping from narcissistic women too.
11. Imagine Dragons: Demons
Sounds like an insightful malignant narcissist to me, warning his prey! Sam, did you actually write this?
12. Carrie Underwood: Cowboy Casanova
Catchy country-pop take on a narcissistic relationship.
Lucky Otters Haven 