As some of you may know, my housemate (the same one I was complaining about several months back for her “narcissistic” ways) is moving out on the 6th, which is 5 days away.
While Stacey and I are never going to be the best of friends, I’ve grown to like her. She’s lived here for a little over a year, has been very reliable, always pays her rent on time without complaint, and cleans up the house without being asked. Yes, she is annoying in some ways, but to be honest, I’m not wild about having to have any housemate at all so anyone would probably annoy me just by their presence. I’m really not much of a people person, especially when they have to live with me under the common roof of a very small house. I consider myself extremely lucky to have found someone like Stacey.
I thought she was a narcissist at first, because she can be so manipulative and needy, and she seemed to invade my boundaries a lot at first, but she’s learned to respect my boundaries once I made them clear. She also has high levels of empathy, is generally very kind, and seems to be the codependent type. We’ve had a few heart to heart conversations and it turns out she comes from an abusive home too and was married to a narcissist for many years, just like me. I don’t know what her psychological problem is, but it’s not narcissism. I’m thinking she may have BPD or Dependent Personality Disorder, or just plain old PTSD. Or even nothing at all.
Anyway, her leaving in a few days makes me sad. She’s got a daughter in Florida who has a spare room so I don’t blame her for preferring to move back with them rather than stay with a half crazy borderline like myself in a state in which she knows no one and doesn’t even really like much. And she’ll get to see her granddaughters all the time too. I know how much she misses them.
I catch myself talking down to her sometimes, as if she’s stupid. I’m not always the most patient person. I feel bad about that. She isn’t that stupid. But I lose patience sometimes. I always wind up apologizing. I told her the other day what a great housemate she’s been and that I would miss her. I thought she was going to cry.
I used to complain about how annoying she was, but now that she’s leaving, I’m sad. I wish she was staying. I have an ad out again, and so far, no one who’s called has been suitable. I really hope I can get a new housemate as reliable and trustworthy (and quiet) as Stacey has been, but I feel like I might not be that fortunate again. There is a gay man who seems promising though. I haven’t met him yet.
I really wish I could afford to just live alone without any housemate at all. I hate having to interview a bunch of people I don’t know, and turn down most of them. But I need someone to help share the expenses.