So I’m going to out-narc my annoying narcissistic roommate.

I was cleaning out my hall closet under the stairs today (it was a disaster, believe me) and had a brilliant idea. My narcissistic roommate has, as usual, been annoying me all day, following me around like a needy puppy and asking her usual nosy questions. (For what it’s worth, things have gotten better. She’s actually trying to respect my boundaries and with my daughter out of the picture–she didn’t like her–things have been a bit more peaceful).

View of the acceptably organized closet after I bagged up stuff to throw away or give to Goodwill:
closet_1

EEK! Whathehellisthat???!!!?
closet_2_spider

The second photo leads us into the way I plan to have some fun with Roomie later. While I was tossing things into black garbage bags for Goodwill, I found this hairy spider from a couple of Halloweens ago. His wire legs bend into all different positions. I know my roommate goes in this closet a lot (even though there is nothing of hers in here anymore–maybe she goes in there to change her masks) so I decided to give old Spidey a perch on the wooden clothes dowel.

DEARGODINHEAVENWHATHEFCKISTHATTHING?!?!?!?!
closet_3_spider

I can’t wait to see how she reacts when she finds Spidey there waving at her.

AAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHH!
closet_4_spider_aagh

muttley

Maybe…just maybe I’ll even act all innocent and sweetly smile and say,

I have no idea what you’re talking about. You MUST be imagining things. Perhaps you need to see a psychiatrist?

I’m terrible.