Three great R.E.M. songs

“Monster” is my favorite REM album (they’re all great though).

I still play these three songs all the time in my car.

How is this band still unsigned?

This song, released by the brother-sister duo Galt Aureus on their album “Citadels” (2009) is hauntingly beautiful. I can’t believe they’re still unsigned by any label.

Enjoy!

Our Own Versailles Lyrics
If floods will come all our lives,
just climb the stairs, let the water rise,
we’ll build ourselves up to a towering height.

From the hollow of our hands,
all we’ve never had:

bright lights,
in our own Versailles,
everything becomes alive:
our own chateau tonight.

No starless nights for you and me,
we’ve always seen and dreamed then built what could be,

from the hollow of our hands,
fashion all we’ve never had.

bright lights,
in our own Versailles,
everything becomes alive:
our own chateau

bright lights,
in our own Versailles,
everything becomes alive:
our own chateau tonight.

Tonight- the stars, you and I will shine.

Lyrics found here

12 more songs about narcissism

Narcissism is a hot topic, and popular music is no exception, especially since so many songs are about relationships gone bad and breakups with narcissistic lovers. Whenever possible, I tried to include lyric videos.

1. Christina Aguilera: Vanity

Speaks for itself.

2. Sara Bareilles: King of Anything

Fairly recent, nice indie pop song about a not so nice malignant narcissist.

3. Queen: I Want it All

I couldn’t find a lyric video, but here’s the lyrics:

Adventure seeker on an empty street,
Just an alley creeper, light on his feet
A young fighter screaming, with no time for doubt
With the pain and anger can’t see a way out,
It ain’t much I’m asking, I heard him say,
Gotta find me a future move out of my way,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,

Listen all you people, come gather round
I gotta get me a game plan, gotta shake you to the ground
Just give me what I know is mine,
People do you hear me, just give me the sign,
It ain’t much I’m asking, if you want the truth
Here’s to the future for the dreams of youth,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,

I’m a man with a one track mind,
So much to do in one life time (people do you hear me)
Not a man for compromise and where’s and why’s and living lies
So I’m living it all, yes I’m living it all,
And I’m giving it all, and I’m giving it all,
It ain’t much I’m asking, if you want the truth,
Here’s to the future, hear the cry of youth,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now…

4. Madonna: Material Girl

Madonna purportedly suffers from NPD herself. I don’t doubt it. Still a great 1980s classic though.

5. Rush: Malignant Narcissism (instrumental)

No words, but the title says it all so it belongs here anyway. Good hard rock jam.

6. The Police: Every Breath You Take

The dude in this 1986 megahit definitely seems psychopathic to me.

7. Michelle Branch: Are You Happy Now

Angry pop rock from 2003 about a girl left by her narcissisict lover.

8. Three Days Grace: Just Like You

Don’t want to get infected by her evil!

9. Shawn Colvin: Get Out of this House

The lyrics are oblique and this song may not be about a narcissistic relationship, it could be just a bad breakup but it’s still a great song so I’m posting it anyway. I could not find a lyric video for this.

10. Gloria Gaynor: I Will Survive

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBR2G-iI3-I

I have looked, but there seem to be very, very few songs about narcissism prior to the 1980s (isn’t that an interesting statement about how our society has changed?), but here’s a disco song with a victorious message about escaping from what appears to have been an abusive relationship with a narcissist. This has become a sort of female empowerment anthem but I don’t see why it couldn’t apply to guys escaping from narcissistic women too.

11. Imagine Dragons: Demons

Sounds like an insightful malignant narcissist to me, warning his prey! Sam, did you actually write this?

12. Carrie Underwood: Cowboy Casanova

Catchy country-pop take on a narcissistic relationship.

See also these two posts for even more songs about narcissism!
1. 20 songs about narcissists #1-10
2. 20 songs about narcissists #11-20

20 songs about narcissists (#11 – 20)

Here are the final ten songs in this series about narcissism and psychopathy in popular music. The first ten are in this post: https://otterlover58.wordpress.com/2014/12/12/ten-songs-about-narcissists-part-one/

11. “Every Me and Every You” by Placebo

A commenter named Sinderella suggested this one to me. I never heard it before, but it’s a great rock song and it also comes from the point of view of the narcissist, instead of the victim, which makes it a bit different. Thank you, Sinderella.

12. “Hurt” by Nine Inch Nails

Disturbing look inside the psyche of a malignant narcissist by the well known ’90s rock band.

13. “Live to Tell” by Madonna

One of Madonna’s best and most haunting songs ever. The lyrics are a bit oblique but I read somewhere this was a song about her abusive, psychopathic father. It could be about a love relationship with a narcissist too. (Madonna herself allegedly has NPD–since it’s a family disease, many ACONS also have the disorder).

14. “Farmer’s Daughter” by Crystal Bowersox

Catchy but angry and emotionally cathartic autobiographical folk-pop song about the singer’s abusive, drunk, psychopathic mother, who badly damaged both her children. There wasn’t a lyric video for this because the song was never a big hit, but I think you can understand all the words and the video tells the story.

15. “Don’t You Want Me’ by the Human League

The synth-pop hit from 1981 tells the story of a woman whose narcissistic, manipulative manager/lover is no longer of any use to her because he’s made her a big celebrity and now she wants to move on. It’s hard to tell who’s the real narcissist here. This may be one of those rare relationships with two narcissists using each other for their own gain. Such a relationship cannot last.

16. “Foolish Games” by Jewel

Hauntingly beautiful song by the folk-turned-country singer about being dumped by a narcissistic man who only used her as long as he needed her.

17. “Sweet Nothing” by Calvin Harris featuring Florence Welch

Fairly new dance-pop hit about a woman dealing with a narcissistic lover.

18. “The Chauffeur” by The Deftones

The lyrics are very poetic and somewhat oblique but this seems to be about a relationship with a malignantly narcissistic woman.

19. “Somebody That I Used to Know” by Gotye featuring Kimbra

I never really thought of this as a song about narcissism, but if you listen to the short verse by Kimbra (really the most telling lyric in the song), she is calling her lover out for his narcissistic, manipulative behavior, while Gotye appears to be experiencing a narcissistic crisis/loss of narcissistic supply and blaming his lover for leaving him.

And to close this post…

20. “My Way” by Frank Sinatra

Classic song by the blue eyed crooner paints a picture of a narcissist from his own point of view.

If you liked this post, also see 12 More Songs About Narcissism.

Here’s another ten songs about narcissism I just added to this series: https://luckyottershaven.com/2015/04/22/10-more-songs-about-narcissists/

20 songs about narcissists (#1 – 10)

Because so many relationships are unequal, predatory, and abusive, and songs about relationships are so common in popular music, narcissism comes up in them often. I have posted songs about narcissism before, but I wanted to put them all in one post. I will be posting 20 songs, 10 in each post.

These songs are not ranked (because ranking them is impossible and isn’t my focus here anyway), so the songs are posted in totally random order.

Almost every genre of popular music is represented here. I have tried to include lyric videos whenever possible, so you can read the words.

1. “Narcissist” by The420Four:

Indie stoner garage rock that hits the nail on the head (but is nearly unlistenable). It still belongs on the list.

2. “Mean” by Taylor Swift

The pop country princess seems like someone who’s been in more than her fair share of abusive relationships with narcissistic, selfish men. From what I’ve heard, fame has never gone to her head–she’s super nice and falls in love easily, so she probably attracts narcissistic men who want to use her. But in this song, Taylor finally shows a little badass attitude and calls out her latest narcissist for what he really is in her ridiculously catchy 2012 pop-country hit “Mean.”

3. “Narcissus” by Alanis Morissette

Tribute to a narcissistic lover by the popular ’90s singer. This is one of her more current, less well known songs, but it’s still great.

4. “Building a Mystery” by Sarah McLachlan

The video is so well done in this hauntingly beautiful 1997 hit that I didn’t search for a lyric video. If you want to read the lyrics, I posted them here. This has remained one of my favorite songs ever.

5. “Voices Carry” by ‘Til Tuesday

The turquoise on hot pink typeface is a little hard on the eyes, but this was the only lyric video I could find for this enormously popular 1985 electropop hit about a relationship with a narcissist who wanted to keep their relationship a secret.

6. “Father of Mine” by Everclear

Here’s a hit from the early 2000’s from a man’s perspective–this song was written by the lead singer about his abusive and uncaring father (who was most likely a malignant narcissist) and how it’s still having repercussions on his life as an adult.

7. “You’re So Vain” by Carly Simon

This was a huge radio hit in 1972. Simon wrote this song about the narcissistic actor Warren Beatty, who she had had a stormy one-sided relationship with. I couldn’t find a decent lyric video, but you can read the words here.
Speaking of vanity, I thought this video was extremely advanced for 1972 technology, so I looked into it further and found out this was a remix video of the original song made in 2010! Carly still looks terrific!

8. “Liar” by Henry Rollins

This song from the late 1990s absolutely nails the evil mindset of the psychopathic malignant narcissist. This video is incredibly well done and powerful, so I didn’t include a lyric video. You probably won’t need one because Rollins’ enunciation is clear as a bell. The singer/actor/activist is not actually narcissistic in the slightest, but he plays the part here incredibly well

9. “Me Myself and I” by de la soul.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L90dy5lUh5I
A narcissistic r&b/hip hop anthem for the self absorbed. Hip hop in particular seems to be an especially narcissistic music genre. Some of the N attitude in hip hop may not be genuine but a type of posing for effect, but one still wonders.

10. “Set Fire to the Rain” by Adele
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlsBObg-1BQ
Another beautiful song about an abusive relationship with a dishonest, narcissistic man.

Part Two (songs #11 – 20) can be seen in this post: https://otterlover58.wordpress.com/2014/12/12/20-songs-about-narcissists-part-two-of-two/

Also see: 12 More Songs about Narcissism.

Here’s another ten songs about narcissism I just added to this series: https://luckyottershaven.com/2015/04/22/10-more-songs-about-narcissists/

4 more songs about narcissists

As a music lover, I’ve noticed a lot of popular songs are about narcissism. Here are 4 more I’m adding today.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOq3XLiXSMA

1. You’re So Vain/Carly Simon
This was a huge radio hit in 1972. Simon wrote this song about Warren Beatty.

You walked into the party
Like you were walking onto a yacht
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf it was apricot
You had one eye in the mirror
As you watched yourself gavotte
And all the girls dreamed that they’d be your partner
They’d be your partner, and

You’re so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You’re so vain
I’ll bet you think this song is about you
Don’t you? Don’t you?

You had me several years ago
When I was still quite naive
Well, you said that we made such a pretty pair
And that you would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved
And one of them was me
I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and

You’re so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You’re so vain
I’ll bet you think this song is about you
Don’t you? Don’t you?

I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and

You’re so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You’re so vain
I’ll bet you think this song is about you
Don’t you? Don’t you?

Well, I hear you went up to Saratoga
And your horse naturally won
Then you flew your Lear jet up to Nova Scotia
To see the total eclipse of the sun
Well, you’re where you should be all the time
And when you’re not, you’re with
Some underworld spy or the wife of a close friend
Wife of a close friend, and

You’re so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You’re so vain
I’ll bet you think this song is about you
Don’t you? Don’t you?

2. Alanis Morrisette/Narcissus
This is the lyric video.

3. Til Tuesday/Voices Carry
This was a huge power pop hit in 1985.

In the dark, I like to read his mind

But I’m frightened of the things I might find
Oh, there must be something he’s thinking of
To tear him away

When I tell him that I’m falling in love
Why does he say

Hush hush keep it down now voices carry
Hush hush keep it down now voices carry
Uh-uh

I try so hard not to get upset
Because I know all the trouble I’ll get
Oh, he tells me tears are something to hide
And something to fear
And I try so hard to keep it inside
So no one can hear

Hush hush keep it down now voices carry
Hush hush keep it down now voices carry
Hush hush keep it down now voices carry
Uh-uh

He wants me
But only part of the time
He wants me
If he can keep me in line

Hush hush keep it down now voices carry
Hush hush keep it down now voices carry
Hush hush shut up now voices carry
Hush hush keep it down now voices carry
Oh hush hush, darling, she might overhear
Hush, hush – voices carry
He said shut up – he said shut up
Oh God can’t you keep it down
Voices carry
Hush hush voices carry
I wish he would let me talk.

Finally, here’s one from a man’s perspective, with a song about his abusive father (who was probably a narcissist) and how it’s still having repercussions on his life as an adult.

4. Everclear: Father of Mine
This is the lyric video.

Two other songs I posted about malignant narcissism can be found here and here.

Please feel free to add your own suggestions! I’ll keep posting songs from time to time, so stay tuned.

Post #99: Blast from the past

1990sdress

Even though I came of age in the late 1970s and am not a member of Gen-X (although I’m pretty close), I actually prefer the music of the 1980s and 1990s. The 1990s in particular had groundbreaking, exciting music that I still enjoy today. In the car on the radio today, I heard this song, which I had nearly forgotten. It has a positive message and great hook and everytime I hear it feels like the first time all over again. It’s hard to wrap my mind around the fact this song is 21 years old (the same age as my daughter). My son was not even two when this hit the airwaves. I was still so young really (early 30s). There’s nothing quite like nostalgia for a lost time–nostalgia is like dark chocolate: both bitter and sweet.

When I look back on the 1990s, they sort of remind me of the 1960s turned on their head. It’s hard to explain, but the ’90s have the same kind of psychedelic feel to them that the 1960s had but are much “darker” than the 1960s. The ’90s seem “dark” like the ’70s, but in a more psychedelic, surreal way with lots of indigos, deep reds and blacks rather than the browns, hunter greens and harvest gold of the 1970s. I don’t know if this makes any sense, but each decade to me has a color, pattern, or group of colors that I associate with it.

Bizarrely, the early 1990s today seem like a simpler, even more innocent time–a time when there was still no Internet (for the average person anyway), rock music was still getting airplay (and was still good), people had become cynical and distrustful of institutions but the economy was still chugging along, 9/11 hadn’t happened yet, Clinton was still president,  MTV still played music videos, and people still primarily used landlines or pay phones to talk to their family and friends (big clunky primitive cell phones were only affordable to rich Yuppies who used them for business). There was no such thing as Smartphones, Facebook, Twitter, or social media. People still wrote letters, sometimes emails, and called their friends and loved ones rather than texted them. Kids still played outside (although there were plenty of video games to keep them entertained). Commercial radio today is vastly different than what could be heard in the 1990s. So much has changed since hen.

As an addendum, I want to mention an excellent BBC documentary, in which a middle class British family spends one month “living” through the years 1970 – 2000. Each day is a different year, and everything from the clothing to the food to the technology available at that time (in Great Britian, which was behind the United States in the 1970s) was painstakingly recreated for each year (day) and their house decorated appropriately for each decade. It’s also fascinating to watch how the family adapts to all these changes, and how hard the “primitive 1970s” were to the children of the family, who were all born in the 1990s:

The videos can be seen here:
Electric Dreams: The 1970s
Electric Dreams: The 1980s
Electric Dreams: The 1990s

Bro-country is where pop-rock went.

tailgate

Something strange happened to music at the dawn of the second decade of this century. The sort of pop-rock “alternative” music that had been wildly popular on Top 40 radio since the late 1990s suddenly disappeared from the airwaves, to be replaced primarily with electronic dance music (EDM), r&b crooners like Bruno Mars, and pop divas like Katy Perry, Ke$ha, and Lady Gaga. This change happened so fast I can pinpoint the year and month it happened: January of 2010. “Halfway Gone” by the band Lifehouse is the very last generic alt-pop-rock song I remember getting any airplay. There may have been others later, but evidently they never caught on and quickly disappeared. We went from zero to sixty, or should we say Green Day to Gotye in just one year.

What happened to Nickelback, 3 Doors Down, Matchbox Twenty, Daughtry, Seether, Lifehouse, The Killers (who are actually really good), and all the other generic (but mostly insidiously catchy) pop-rock bands that dominated the airwaves throughout the first decade of the 21st century (particularly from about 2005 – 2009)? Were they abducted by aliens? Did they all suddenly get sucked into a black hole? Did their generic brand of “rock” become illegal?

No, of course not. I imagine they’re counting their millions, but they’re no where to be found on the airwaves anymore. Those guys are older now, probably building ranches in Montana and raising their kids, with the occasional tour thrown in to let their diehard fans know they’re not dead yet.

But as for the music they made, their catchy pop-rock fake-alternative sound hasn’t gone anywhere–it just found a new home. On country radio.

That’s right. Around 2010-11, about the same time “rock” disappeared from Top 40, a new genre of “country” music appeared: Bro-country. Luke Bryan with his radioactive smile leads the pack, and everyone else seems to be trying to sound exactly like him. What is bro-country? Basically, it’s generic pop-rock with a banjo and a twang. The lyrics, unlike true country (but a lot like much generic rock music) is about sex, drugs (weed and coke being replaced with beer) and partying hard. If you listen to a few bro-country songs, you’ll notice they describe the exact same scene: a hot girl (always referred to as “Girl”–she never has a name) wearing short shorts (Daisy Dukes) or tight cutoff jeans and a bikini top, dancing on the tailgate of a pickup truck, and it’s always summer, always at night, always under the moonlight, and the party’s always taking place by a river or other body of water. Oh, and there’s beer. Lots and lots of beer. An entire ocean of beer.

brocountry

Now, on to the sound. A few are made by legitimate country stars, who have jumped on the bro-country bandwagon, but most are by newcomers to country–guys who were more likely listening to Green Day back in 2005 than Tim McGraw. And, as in the rock music of the recent past, women are largely not welcome. It’s definitely a boy’s club. But women can and do listen to the music.

Some bro-country songs do lean more on the country side of the fence, but the vast majority of bro-country songs can be more accurately described as pop-rock. Take away the token banjo and the twang (which may or may not be genuine), and what you have is a driving pop rock beat, heavy production, electric bass and guitars, a melodic chorus, and rock-star-like posturing. There’s often a rap bridge too, as there is in Cruise by Florida-Georgia Line featuring rap artist Nelly.

Listen to this other enormously popular song by the same band (without Nelly this time) and tell me which mid-2000s pop-rock band it sounds like.
If you said 3 Doors Down, you’d be right on the money.

Here’s another song from earlier this year by a Luke Bryan ripoff band Parmalee. While I can’t identify which Top 40 pop-rock band they sound like (probably because they all sound the same), it definitely doesn’t sound country to me.
It also sounds almost identical to this song by Blake Shelton and this song by Luke Bryan, who’s become the template for this hopefully short lived genre. It’s kinda spooky–all three of those songs (and countless others) have the exact same melody, the exact same guitar riff, and are about the same thing. I suppose record labels can save money by recycling the same song to different artists, with minimal changes and pass it off as a new song.

Country music concerts (well, bro country concerts anyway) have also been getting wilder–a lot more like rock concerts, complete with screaming young girls, arrests, open-air sex (probably on the tailgate of a pickup), drunken tailgate parties after and during the shows, and even people making the “devil horns” hand gesture usually associated with rock music. I recently attended a bro country concert (my daughter is a huge Luke Bryan fan and I went with her because my guilty little secret is that I think he’s hotter than Miami in August and his songs are catchy) and was shocked how much it reminded me of the rock concerts I used to attend–most of those attending were under 25, and everyone was shitfaced. And in keeping with the theme, most of the women were wearing daisy dukes or cutoff jeans with skimpy tank tops, sometimes a plaid unbuttoned man’s shirt hanging over the whole shebang or tied at the navel.

I read the other day that bro-country is wearing its welcome, and there’s been a demand by pure country fans for more authentic country music without all the pop/rock influences, and with more meaningful lyrics (I guess it’s more authentic to cry in your whiskey because your cheatin’ woman is doing you wrong than it is to have a beer party on the tailgate of a Chevy truck in the moonlight). There’s also a lot of country fans complaining that except for the Big Three female country singers (Miranda Lambert, Carrie Underwood, and Taylor Swift, who ain’t even country anymore), no female artists get airplay on country radio anymore. I believe it. And I don’t blame them for being mad. It’s time for country divas with something to say to burn down the boys’ clubhouse. I remember not too long ago, women used to have this same problem in the rock music industry.

I’ve read somewhere recently that a lot of rockers who were evicted from the airwaves a few years ago have moved to Nashville. So maybe the guys from Nickelback, Staind, and 3 Doors Down are now penning songs for Luke Bryan, Cole Swindell and Dustin Lynch.

Hopefully all those drunken tailgate parties taking place down by the river have a designated driver.

This song pretty much nails it.

Here’s a song from the ’90s that nails the evil mindset of the malignant narcissist.