Annoying people who take pictures of their food.

Posted on July 27, 2016 by luckyotter

pizza

They’re everywhere. They’re all over Facebook, they’re all over Twitter, they’re all over Pinterest. They’re texting their mushroom and goat cheese manicotti at the table next to yours, they’re trying to show you their Tabouli salad with ginger vinagrette in the passenger seat while you’re driving in heavy traffic on the Interstate, they’re waving their Samsung Galaxy smartphone with its Pokemon motif wallpaper in your face demanding you look at the Beef Wellington or curried chicken with beet juice they had last night whose remains are now now probably being further broken down into their elements in the septic system.

Food pictures. They’re the new “this is me at a party with my cool friends” pictures. The cooler looking the food, the cooler people who post food photos think they are.

It’s an insidious illness, this obsession with showing off the edible substance you put in your mouth so your body can survive. Now I’m doing it. At least tonight I am. Because tonight I had the best pizza I’ve ever had outside of New York City. One slice is as big as an entire pizza, big and oozing with cheese and tomato and dripping amber colored grease down your chin and onto your new Gap T-shirt and down your wrists into your sleeves. And it was effing delicious. It’s from a pizzeria called Four Brothers and they really are four brothers who run the place and they’re from Brooklyn. That explains why it’s so good–and totally justifies my being an obnoxious, annoying “look what I just ate” jackass. That’s my photo of it up there.

Replying to my haters.

Posted on July 24, 2016 by luckyotter

I was browsing through some old posts, and found this one from almost a year and a half ago. I’m reblogging it because it makes me laugh. For that reason, I think it deserves to get another 15 minutes of Internet fame.

Lucky Otters Haven

Not everyone likes this blog. I have a few haters. The following are not really troll comments (which I delete immediately or don’t approve) but criticisms of me and this blog. (A few do come close though).

It’s okay to have haters. All bloggers have them. All writers have them. I don’t expect everyone to agree with or understand my motives for having a blog like this. Having haters just means something you said pressed somebody’s buttons. It’s inevitable, especially when blogging about a controversial subject like narcissism instead of posting brownie recipes.

I decided rather than try to reply as these comments come along (which can disrupt the flow of a conversation), I would put them here in this one post. (I’ve been saving them to Wordpad). Obviously this blog isn’t for everyone. I am not identifying the handles of these commenters.

Fortunately, I have not received many of…

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Fun with Spam

Posted on July 21, 2016 by luckyotter

I’ve had my spam set to be automatically deleted for some time now, because I was just getting too much of it. But WordPress still lets some spam come through. Usually I just delete these without bothering to look at them, but sometimes I glance at them when I have nothing better to do.

Most of my spam comments are unreadable, as if they’ve been translated from Mandarin to Greek to Bulgarian to Bantu to Korean and then back into English by someone with third grade writing skills. Or they’re so generic you’d know they’re spam even if they weren’t marked as spam because they could apply to any post–like the way newspaper horoscopes can apply to any zodiac sign. I’m talking about this:

“Great article! I’ll definitely bookmark this for future reference.”

Or they’re telling you all about how your Google ranking sucks and you need to purchase their SEO help. I will never pay for SEO. A little patience and dedication is all you need to get a decent search engine ranking.

The funniest ones are the ones that sound like they’ve been translated several times, and the subject matter is always completely random and has nothing to do with what you posted. Here are two entertaining spam comments I’ll share before I delete them for good.

I agree with your statement because chapter 14 talks about how he wakes up every morning with a cheerful matter. when he so explains, ” To be awake is to be alive. I have never met a man who was quite awake.” Thoreau seems like a man with hope in nature. He wakes up every morning and takes his time to observe the morning with a nature view.
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I copied and paste the loader into the bin folder, ran it, got asked for license key, not sure what to do there, typed random things in didnt work either. Does the license key thing suppose to show up when you run the loader?

Here’s one of those generic spam comments. What makes it hilarious is it was posted under a cartoon.