My next step.


I’ve always wanted to write a book.   I actually did write a novel, back in 2003, but it sucked and was rejected by several publishers.    It didn’t take me too long to give up trying to get it published.

Today that novel sits in a cardboard box in the back of a closet.  It’s been sitting in that box for 13 years, its 300+ pages becoming brittle with age and the corners of the box  it dwells in now bent and taped together.  A few years ago I pulled out the typewritten pages and re-read the novel.   I cringed with embarrassment over how bad it was.  Not just bad, but atrocious.   It was shallow, self-indulgent, had no flow; was full of cliches, stilted dialogue,  and purple prose; and populated with unlikable, annoying characters.  It will probably never see the light of day again and most certainly will never be published.  But I still can’t bring myself to toss it out with the recycling.  If nothing else, it’s a reminder that I can finish something that I started.

I’ve done a lot of writing in my life, but that one shitty novel was my only attempt to write an actual book.   Although I’ve always wanted to write a book, it just seems so daunting.  I always find excuses:  it would take too long, I don’t have time, it wouldn’t be any good, I’m not really that good a writer, no one would read it, I’m bad with opening paragraphs, I’m bad with endings, I don’t have the money, I don’t have good ideas.

But excuses are just lies you tell yourself.   None of the aforementioned items have any truth to back them up.  I have a blog and a following, these days you can self-publish an eBook on Kindle at little to no cost (a print version can always come later), and after a year and a half of blogging, my writing has vastly improved.   Some days I have so many ideas for new posts that it makes my head spin.  I spend most of my free time writing anyway, so why am I not writing a book?  I really can’t think of any good reasons not to.

So I know what my next step must be.   I  haven’t yet decided whether I’ll do a compilation of my best or most popular posts, or write something from scratch.   I have a feeling I’ll go with the latter, but might incorporate a few of my blog posts into it.   I haven’t decided what my book will be about yet either, even though I do know it will be connected to this blog’s content in some way.

One thing that’s stopped me before is the thought of having to write hundreds of pages of prose.  But with an eBook or even if I self-publish a print version (which I think costs money but I’m not sure), I don’t have to write something that long.  I’ve read or reviewed a few books that were self published by bloggers, and few exceed 100 pages.

Another thing that makes writing a book seem like a chore is the lack of immediacy.   When you write a blog post, you get instant feedback.  Likes, comments, and views start coming almost from the minute you hit Publish.   You can monitor your stats after a very short time.   With writing a book, no one sees it until it’s published, and that could take a long time.   I’m not a patient person, and I hate having to wait for feedback.  But that doesn’t seem like a valid reason not to write one.

So all I have to do is make the choice to sit down and instead of opening up WordPress to write a new blog post, open up Kindle instead and write the first paragraph of my book.  I never thought I’d start a blog either, and one day I just decided to do it.   I think that’s how writing a book is going to work too.

When I do start to write, I will probably not be able to write new blog posts as often and might even have to take a break from it to concentrate on the book, but I’ll let everyone know when that happens.

My bucket list (we all need one).


These are the things I want to do before I die. Of course, these are subject to change and new ones will come along!

1. Write and publish a book about everything I’ve learned from growing up in a narcissistic family and being married to a narcissistic husband.

2. Write a bestselling novel or self help book based on my own experiences.

2. Be able to quit my day job and make an income from this (or another) blog.

3. Go to an exotic or remote country, preferably tropical.

4. Sing in a karaoke contest. (People say I have a decent voice but it’s one of those things I never developed)

5. Learn a musical instrument.

6. Get married again someday to a supportive, fun-loving, non-narcissistic man, who likes to travel and is good at home projects too.

7. Buy a Bengal cat.

8. Buy a small but quaint home near the ocean on the Gulf Coast of Florida.

9. Be completely self confident and at ease with myself.

10.  Get over my fear of dying.

11. Redecorate my home exactly the way I want it.

12. Live for several months among people from a different culture.

13. Finally be able to give up smoking completely.

14. Drive cross country with a good friend or lover in a camper-trailer.

16. Finally be free of all my irrational fears.

17. Make a Beef Wellington.

18. Enter an art show and win a prize!

19. Do something really unconventional or eccentric in public and not worry about people thinking I’m crazy.

20. Hike the entire Appalachian Trail (Georgia to Maine; this takes about 6 months).

21. Be happy.

Now, I am going to ask something of you. I’m inviting my readers to add their own bucket lists in the comments. What would you most like to do before you die?

Can I do it? Can I do it?


“I think I can. I think I can.”
–The Little Engine who Could

Although my blog has been definitely picking up (a couple of my articles even have been appearing on PAGE ONE of Google!!!), September 21st is still my “Best Day Ever”–the day my “I’m Frustrated” rant was reblogged by OM at Harsh Reality and I was swarmed with new viewers and followers (354 views that day to be exact). It was a heady day, especially because I was new at this and had only been blogging for 11 days. Prior to that I had a pitiful 12 followers and almost no comments or views (and that’s why I was so frustrated and wrote that rant).

This month, I’ve noticed my views have been increasing a lot. If I knew how to “screencap” the graph on my stats page, I would. But now I’m getting views and comments even on days I haven’t posted anything new, and I’m getting more views every day. So far today I have a whopping 244 views, which is the most I’ve had since September 21. That’s exciting!

I’m hoping to beat my “best day ever.” I still have a few hours left. I wonder if I can do it?