Dry spell.


For the past few weeks, for some reason, I haven’t had a lot of interest in blogging.   Part of it is laziness, but the truth is I’m having trouble thinking of new things to write about.   I’m finally sort of over writing about narcissism, and feel like there’s nothing new to add to the subject.   I feel like I’ve moved on — but where to?  I’m not sure right now.   It’s not really writer’s block.   I can write, but unless I actually care about what I’m writing about, why bother?  I feel vaguely guilty about this but can’t explain why.

I’m deeply interested in political matters these days, and I think that shows.  I’m still reluctant to write a lot about the political situation, but I’ve broken my rule to stay away from politics on this blog several times now.  I’ve toyed with the idea of turning this into a political opinion blog, with a focus on the narcissism of our *cough* president, but for some reason I feel like I shouldn’t do it here.   Lucky Otters Haven just doesn’t seem like the right place to do such a thing, though I have no idea why.

My lifelong education in narcissism has prepared me for this presidency (whether that’s a good thing or not, I’m uncertain because it also tends to make me obsess and analyze things outside my control too much).   My education has certainly kept me from falling for the smoke and mirrors act and I’m shocked at what an accurate BS detector I’ve developed as a result of being a narcissistic abuse victim myself.   I never knew I had such a good one.

Although my interest in blogging has waned for the time being (I’m sure it’s just temporary) I actually had the most activity ever last month — and made more money from this blog than I ever did before (not that it’s a lot because it’s not).  That should be a motivator but I’m not sure it really is.   I don’t want to write just for the views and the cash; I write because I want to and would do it even if I only had an audience of a few people and made nothing at all.

This summer I’m involved in a couple of home projects, including enclosing the porch (the work on that hasn’t started yet).  I’ll be plenty busy with that, but I will post updates with photos as it comes along.   As for other things, I guess I’ll just play it by ear, and write when a good idea pops into my head, whether it’s politics, personality disorders, or anything else.    In the meantime, I will probably reblog or repost some of my older articles that I think deserve to be seen again.


Bloggers’ block.


Every once in a while, writer’s block strikes us bloggers.    Sometimes even the most prolific writers just run out of new ideas. If you blog, how do you handle this form of writers’ block? Do you make yourself write something anyway, post memes or pictures as a substitute, reblog your old posts (or other people’s posts), or just wait until an idea pops into your head?   How long would you allow yourself to let your blog sit idle without adding anything new?   Share your thoughts here!

My blogging mojo is back!


This is my 10th post today. I don’t think I’ve ever made 10 posts in one day before. Yes, I realize they’re all either pretty short or reblogs, but still! I’m very proud of myself. Maybe I should give Jonas the credit though, since he trapped me inside my house all day today.

In general though, my interest in blogging has returned after a couple of months of feeling like it was becoming a chore. I think bloggers go through the doldrums every so often and you just have to keep on writing and wait for them to pass. I think my Seasonal Affective Disorder had something to do with it too. In the fall, I lose interest in pretty much everything. Once the days start getting longer, my mood improves and my interest in things and my creativity returns.

Writer’s block.


I feel like there’s a traffic jam in my brain. Or perhaps, no traffic at all. For some reason I can’t fathom, I can’t work up the motivation to write anything. I feel like my creativity has gone AWOL. I wake up feeling depressed. I go to sleep feeling depressed. It’s a numb, zombie-like depression but underneath that…there’s something coming to the surface. There’s an underlying anxiety and a feeling of impending insanity. I don’t know why. I pray for an answer, some clarity, some ability to process the stuff going on in my head right now, but there don’t seem to be any answers.

I can’t think straight. I had a bad panic attack at work yesterday; it came out of nowhere. I was out of control. I embarrassed myself and was shaken the rest of the day.

I’m using various techniques (prayer, meditation, long hot baths) to calm myself down, but it’s only a temporary fix and I still have no creative ideas for new posts. I forced myself to write this one. I’ve said many times before that writing is at least in part a discipline. You have to make yourself write, even when you don’t want to. Then it gets easier. But I’m ignoring my own advice.

I feel like my small life is growing smaller. I’m isolating myself more. I think about death a lot (not suicide, just the idea of death and it scares me). I keep asking God to intervene and lift my mood but this time he’s sleeping on the job.


I know I have to take responsibility and make myself get out of the house sometimes and make myself write. But when the time comes, I just find it so hard to get motivated. I have problems with the seasons and always get depressed this time of year. But this didn’t happen last year. I wrote like a maniac a year ago and worked through a lot of emotional stuff. I was full of ideas and writing allayed any depression I would have experienced.

I have faith though. I know this is temporary. I know God is there and is sitting back for a reason. He wants me to work through this on my own. I feel like I’m on the edge of an epiphany, something new I need to discover about myself.

I know this post won’t win any Pulitzer prizes and isn’t at all inspiring but at least it’s something. I know I need to just sit down and make myself write SOMETHING every day, even if it sounds uninspired or even stupid. I need to tell my inner critic to STFU. I’m not trying to impress anyone, just get my thoughts on “paper” so I can process them and learn from them. This is only meant to be a journal, after all. Maybe this will even open a discussion about writer’s block and I won’t feel so alone. I’m also going to look into therapy.