There IS life after loss. There is life after abuse.
This post is beautiful, moving, powerful, heartbreaking, transformational, the story of my life…oh hell, just read it. Leave comments under the author’s original.
Today the sun is shining, and this beautiful break from the cold winter of Cleveland, reminds me how much I love and look forward to spring. While my heart yearns to be outside and to run, feeling the air burning in my lungs as I force my out of shape legs to keep moving forward, I am still scared. I am still broken.
I dreamed of him last night. And in my dream I confronted him about his behavior, and his choices. And his cold cruel laugh and his inability to look me in the eye, reminded me that it was all of a lie in real life. Knowing in my heart, that even though he was fake, my feelings were not. That even now, if he came crawling back I would still want him. It made me feel ashamed and angry.
Closure can open new doors, even as one door is closing for good. There are so many other doors we can’t even imagine. Doors that may be right in front of us but we can’t see until we accept that the old door will never open again.
Sometimes just apologizing to someone can lighten your emotional load and bring closure to an uncertain or painful situation.
I had been struggling with severe guilt and shame over some things I said to someone whose views I respect. I never had ill intentions or alternative motives but this individual reacted in (what I thought was) an extreme way to my obliviousness and insensitivity.
While this individual has still chosen to no longer be friends, I respect their views about that and I think that decision is for the best.
For my part, I just feel so much better now that I apologized and had the opportunity to thank them for their friendship when it was needed. It’s no longer necessary, and because I reached out in sincerity and humility, I feel like I can finally move on. I feel so much lighter and freer than I did before I reached out. There has been closure, and that’s always a good thing.