I can’t take this anymore.  I’ve had about enough of the crapfest coming from the Trump White House, and the firing of H. R. McMaster, one of the only sane people left in his administration — only to be replaced with the warmonger and Fox News commentator John Bolton as his National Security Advisor — just about sent me over the edge.  It’s exhausting and terrifying, and I think it’s especially upsetting for those of us who were raised or had close relationships with narcissists or sociopaths.

John Bolton wants war.  He wants to nuke both Iran and North Korea.   Such a stupid and dangerous move could set off global nuclear war.   Now, with Trump consolidating power and leaving most abandoned posts empty or filled by people much like himself who will never disagree with him or criticize him,  I’m really afraid there’s nothing left to keep Trump from pushing the nuke button.

I spend a lot of time on Twitter these days, and most people are really afraid we are on the edge of nuclear war —  possibly the end of humanity and destruction of the planet.  I have no doubt Trump would start nuclear war just to distract from the Russia investigation, the Cambridge Analytica fiasco, and the revelations from Stormy Daniels.   He’d blow up the planet just to save himself from having to eat some humble pie.   He is that disordered.

That’s why I hope Mueller decides to go ahead and charge Trump and his cabal now, rather than wait until his investigation is complete, which could be months away.  We may not have months left.  I’m sure Mueller has enough dirt on Trump to arrest him now.    Everything he’s done is being exposed, and it’s 10 times worse than anyone could have imagined.  I’d rather have the Mazda now rather than have to wait for the Rolls Royce and maybe never get it.

Here’s my conundrum.    I’ve had enough of this crap, and continuing to stay “woke” is really messing with my mental health and triggering my PSTD bigtime.     I could save myself a lot of grief by simply deciding not to follow the news anymore.  I could choose to be blissfully ignorant instead.

But I know I won’t do that, because by ignoring the truth and acting like all the crapisn’t happening, I become complicit in the damage Trump is doing to our country and the world.    By writing about it, by calling it out, by talking to people, I’m making a difference, even if it’s a tiny one.   Even if I can only change one mind or get one person to rethink their views, I’m doing something.   I wish I could do more, but being blissfully ignorant is not an option.   It sure is tempting though.   The shit’s flying so fast and furious now that just taking breaks doesn’t seem to help much anymore.

The second reason I won’t give into the temptation to shut off the news for good and pretend none of this is happening is because that’s exactly how Hitler’s Germany happened.   Too many people were either too afraid, or too ignorant, and did nothing.  They went on with their lives as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening.  Hitler took advantage of their tacit compliance to do the unspeakable things he did.  Trump wants compliant, ignorant sheep who turn a blind eye to all the damage he is doing.

Of course, there are good things happening too.  In fact, lots of good things are happening.  Some days I even feel encouraged and hopeful that the tide is turning.  But if Trump vaporizes us all, none of that will matter.   Hiring John Bolton as Trump’s national security advisor just makes that so much more likely now.