things I wonder about | Lucky Otters Haven

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This is something I’ve always wondered about. I see so many bloggers take down their blogs when they lose interest or they feel like their blog has fulfilled its purpose. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve visited a blog I like and seen a message saying the blog has been removed.

I don’t get it. Even if I were to lose interest in blogging and stop writing posts, I would still leave my blog(s) up. One, it costs nothing on WordPress. Two, people will continue to stumble on my blog and may be helped, entertained, or inspired by something I wrote. Three, people who already know about my blog want to go back and reread something they already read.

It’s always so disappointing to see that a blog I’ve grown attached to no longer exists. If I haven’t kept in touch with the blog’s writer, it’s as if they’ve disappeared from the face of the earth. I always wonder what happened to them.

I understand people move on with their lives and they often reach a point where they feel as if blogging has served its purpose. I also understand that in certain blogging communities (such as the narcissistic abuse community), the posts may be of a very personal nature. But why remove the whole blog? Just leave it up so others can still benefit from it.

I have no plans to stop blogging, even though I post less than I used to and have moved onto other subjects (less posts about narcissistic abuse). If I ever did stop blogging though, I would leave my blogs alone so others could still read them.

dreaming_person

Have you ever tried to explain something that can’t be explained? Well, this subject came up in my post from last week about my subway dream (I have a lot of subway dreams even though I haven’t lived in a big city in many years ; vast-house dreams probably come in second — my dream houses seem like they go on and on for miles).

Most, if not all, of my dreams have that weird “off” feeling about them. I don’t know how to explain it at all. It’s very strange, but not necessarily unpleasant. It’s a kind of flatness but it’s not really that either. Maybe “otherworldly” but that doesn’t really describe it either. It’s not really an emotion, though it is kind of a “mood.”

My dreams aren’t especially surreal, except for that weird “mood.” Most of my dreams take place in rather boring but realistic locations — like vast houses or subways, or city streets at night. I don’t dream about fantastical creatures, demons or fairies, or fantasy realms. My dreams are prosaic: peopled by real people, or by no one at all. Sometimes I dream about being in space — and in those dreams, the universe seems even more infinite than it actually is. I don’t know how to explain why or how I feel that way either, since real space is freaking huger than any of us can imagine.

Sometimes though, everyday reality in my dreams is experienced as somehow enhanced — the grass in a field is greener, the house I’m exploring is endless, the streets I wander at night are more ominous, the mountains in the distance are higher. But that doesn’t really explain the weirdness either, though it may be a part of it.

It’s not that the dream content itself that’s weird (because usually it is in some way, though you might not realize it until you wake up), because even the dreams I have that take place in everyday places or where nothing really strange happens still have that “off” feeling about them.

On rare occasions, during dissociative episodes (derealization), I get that “off” feeling about reality, and everything becomes very dreamlike. I haven’t had that experience in a while, but when it happens when you’re awake, it’s extremely unpleasant. Not so much in dreams.

What the hell is that “off” feeling? I’ve searched Google and found nothing about it. Does anyone know what I’m talking about? Is it just me who experiences this or does everyone? I don’t even think I can find a graphic for this post that captures that feeling so I’m just using a picture of a person sleeping.

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ETA: I just saw this under “related posts” — I wrote about this same thing almost a year ago. Oh well. I still wonder about it.

The Weirdness of My Dreams