5 more weird things you may see a narcissist do.

narcissist_masks

After I posted my article 12 Weird Things You Might See a Narcissist Do, I thought of a few more things so I am adding them to the list.
I also had fun writing that post, and I’m in a rotten mood so writing this might make me feel a little better.

1. They react to events inappropriately.

laughing_funeral

This is actually one of those things that’s pretty well known about narcs, but it’s so weird and disturbing I had to put it here. Narcissists don’t feel emotions the way normal people do, and often have the opposite reaction to things you would expect. They love it when something bad happens to someone else. They might laugh when someone gets fired, is dumped by their lover, or falls down and breaks their neck, but because they are also pathologically envious, they will sulk or become upset if someone shares good news. They can’t stand it when good things happen to other people and will try to ruin their moment for them. This may get them negative attention, but is effective because it takes the attention off the person with the good news. Narcs don’t care if they get negative attention–it’s still attention and that’s what they crave.

2. They cry without tears.

dawson-crying

This is one of the weirdest things about narcissists. Narcs will shed actual tears for themselves if they’ve been hurt or denied their fix of supply (and they can shed enough tears to float the Queen Mary if that’s the case), but in a situation that calls for crying, such as a funeral or other sad event, they can only pretend to cry, and this means their eyes will remain dry even if they appear to be crying along with everyone else. To hide their dry eyes, they will probably keep their face covered. I’ve also seen psychopathic or malignant narcissist criminals on the witness stand attempt to shed tears to show remorse, but their dry eyes prove this is just an act.

3. Their laughter is strange.

fake_laughing

Narcissistic laughter sounds forced to me, and is usually way too loud or contrived sounding. It’s unsettling to listen to and I also noticed the way everyone in the room goes silent when the narc starts to laugh. They also laugh at inappropriate times (see #1).

4. They either care too much about their appearance or don’t give a damn how they look.

body_builder slob

A somatic narcissist will care way too much about the way they look, obsessing over their weight, hair, clothing, health or makeup, or if a man, over their health, abs or muscle mass. But many cerebral narcissists, including women, don’t give a damn about their appearance. In fact, their personal hygiene and grooming is sometimes downright disgusting. It’s almost as if they think they’re too smart to be bothered with trying to look decent. I’m acquainted with a cerebral narcissist who has lost all his teeth because he never bothered brushing or flossing, his breath stinks, and he has terrible B.O. His clothing looks like he found it at the bottom of a trash bin and his pants are threadbare in the butt, always too big and he doesn’t bother wearing a belt so you can see the top of his butt crack. His fingernails are long and caked with black dirt. He wears flip flops even in the winter and his toenails are thick and brown with fungus. And as a bonus, he keeps a old coffee mug in his bathroom filled with his own hair and refuses to throw it away. I have no idea what he saves it for, but it’s disgusting.

5. They are either neat freaks or their homes are pig pens.

germaphobe dirty_house

Related to the above, most somatic narcissists are neat freaks or germ-a-phobes, and live in houses that look like museums or are so sterile they look like doctor’s offices. But some cerebral narcissists live in squalor, wallowing in their filthy surroundings like a pig wallowing in mud.

Advertisements

12 weird things you might see a narcissist do.

the_color_9

There are some strange things I’ve noticed narcissists do that aren’t usually mentioned as symptoms of their disorder, but seem to be common enough perhaps they should be included as additional criteria for NPD.

If you know someone who does only one or two of these things, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re a narc, but if they do several of them regularly and also seem to fit the more well-known criteria for NPD, these things could be red flags to watch out for.

1. They don’t blink when they look at you.

googly_eyes

Some narcs have a penetrating, predatory gaze. If a person of the opposite sex looks at you this way, you may take it as sexual interest (and it could be), but watch carefully: if they do not blink this could mean they are sizing you up as prey. Whether they blink or not, if their stare makes you squirm, get away. Listen to your instincts.

2. They interrupt you or talk over you constantly.

blah-blah1

If someone only seems to care about what they are going to say next, and don’t even seem to have heard what you said, suspect a narcissist.

3. Whatever you tell them is really all about them.

narc_cards

If you say something to them about yourself, rather than acknowledge you, instead they always relate it to back something that happened to them. The Roz Chast cartoon above illustrates that well. You do not exist.

4. Their eyes look flat or dead.

jodi_arias

This is a “dead” giveaway and those eyes usually belong to someone high on the spectrum–a malignant narcissist or a psychopath. Get away from this person. The above photo of psychopathic murderer Jodi Arias shows how flat and dead their eyes can look.

5. They sometimes act psychotic.

crazy_person

All malignant narcissists are bat shit crazy, and their delusions can rival those of someone with schizophrenia. In fact, narcissists denied supply over long periods of time or who have suffered a severe loss can in fact become psychotic. Schizophrenic-like neologisms and nonsensical conversation that sounds like word salad isn’t that uncommon in a malignant narcissist living in mortal fear of losing their “mask of sanity.”

6. They have dramatic, unsettling mood swings.

young woman holding smiling face

Narcissist mood swings (mask switching) can be so sudden and inexplicable you may think you’re dealing with someone with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). For example, a narcissist mother can seem to be happily playing with her child and suddenly, for no discernable reason, start screaming at or hitting the child.

7. They are bad sports.

bad_sport

They will act like babies if they lose a game. I remember once seeing a grown man in his 40’s get so angry that he lost Monopoly that he picked up the game board and tossed it across the room, while everyone looked on in horror. If they can’t win, they will ruin the game for everyone else.

8. They have dark interests or like things that make most people uncomfortable.

satanist

Narcissists, especially high on the spectrum, walk on the dark side and this shows in their obsession with things like the occult, mass murderers, the Holocaust, or weapons. They may listen to dark music such as death metal or watch slasher movies. Many people are interested in these things, but a malignant narcissist or psychopath, even if they put on a mask of being an upstanding moral citizen, usually have a secret hobby or interest in something dark or evil. They may not talk about it in public, but they have one.

9. They can’t let nature take its course.

facelift

If a woman has had an excess of cosmetic surgery including too many facelifts, she is probably a somatic narcissist living in mortal fear of aging.

10. They have an affected way of speaking.

fake_speaking

Dahhhh-ling, this can manifest as a fake foreign accent, or just a speaking voice that sounds fake and affected, as if they are acting on a stage. It comes off to others as more annoying than glamorous though.

11. They use exaggerated mannerisms, facial expressions, or speaking voice.

silent_movie

Like actors in silent movies, who used exaggerated expressions and mannerisms to make up for fact they couldn’t speak in those films, some narcissists (probably because they can’t feel emotions the way normal people can) overact to the point of being rather hilarious. This is also common in people with Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD), another Cluster B disorder that’s been speculated by some experts on personality disorders to be a somatic form of narcissism and is far more common in women.

12. They have conversations with themselves.

talking_to_yourself

I’ve heard many a narcissist talk to themselves–and actually answer themselves back. Does this mean they are insane? Do they hear voices in their heads? Or are they practicing what they might say to someone in a hypothetical conversation ahead of time (remember, everything they do is fake, so they might have to pre-plan how they will respond to others in advance). Who knows? I just know it’s weird as fck. My ex used to do this all the time–in front of a mirror too.

Also see 5 More Weird Things You Might See Narcissists Do.