The Current Political Situation (reblogged from Nyssa’s Hobbit Hole)


I’m sure my friend Nyssa from the Hobbit Hole won’t mind me reblogging this post she wrote today.    I think politics is dominating many of our minds these days, especially  for those of us who are survivors of abusive families or marriages and are triggered to the point of hypervigilance and paranoia by the constitutional chaos and hatred that seems to have suddenly taken over ever since Trump came into office.  It’s as if the world has gone mad.

Every day since this president took office is more WTF than the last.   Staying glued to the legitimate media (oh wait, I mean ‘fake news’) is almost an unconscious reflex that has its roots in our C-PTSD.    But our morbid fascination and vigilance doesn’t have to be in vain.  It can and should be a call to take action and (peacefully) protest and expose the truth, instead of listening to the shitstorm of hatred, lies (oops, I mean alternative facts), and national-level gaslighting and projection this Hitlerian president and his army of brainwashed ‘deplorables’ is engaging in, while they gleefully gut democracy in their attempts to turn us into a banana republic with a cruel and dictatorial ruler who wants to silence the free press, dismantle all regulations, build walls, shut down the EPA, and run our nation as if it’s a religious cult.

All I know is this:  If I have to die under this new regime (and many probably will, either through acts of internal terrorism and violence, natural disasters due to unregulated plundering of our natural resources, disease caused by “mythical” global warming, or because they lost their health insurance, Medicare, Medicaid, or social security – those are all next on the table to be axed under this administration), I don’t want to die as a victim.  I almost did already and I’m never going there again.  I’d rather die fighting for truth and justice, whatever that might mean.   I’m not going to succumb and die as one of the scared sheep who did nothing.

So, here is Nyssa’s article.

The Current Political Situation.

Nyssa’s Hobbit Hole

So much is going on that I can barely keep up.  My friend Lucky Otter calls it hypervigilance, says that the abuse is now happening on a national scale…. We have the flying monkeys in large numbers….

I’m starting to burn out on news from the White House.  It’s nonstop crapstorm every day.  I spend hours just checking news feeds on Twitter. But I keep hearing that we should all be vigilant so we can protest through various channels and keep our voices heard.  But I do have other things to do….

Then I watch movies of the White Rose Society, and hear how Germans didn’t do enough to stop the Nazis, for various reasons.  We can keep the same thing from happening here, and it looks like we just might do so–but not if we stop watching.  But what about the other things I need to do?

I’m following not just American newspapers, but German and British ones as well, to get more global perspectives.  Der Spiegel is about to publish the English version of a scathing series on Trump.  That’s the magazine which also put a controversial picture on the front cover, of Trump beheading the Statue of Liberty.

It’s all maddening.  Those of us who have experienced narc abuse and other kinds of abuse, we can recognize what’s going on, but the flying monkeys call us “libtards” and laugh at us.


Read the rest of Nyssa’s article here.



Maybe Trump’s election is the BEST thing that could have happened!


I know what you’re probably thinking.  You probably think I must have finally snapped.  That I’ve given into Stockholm Syndrome and now identify with the enemy.   You’re  maybe even thinking about hitting the “backspace” key,  writing me off as a traitor to my left wing ideals — or at the very least writing me off as a typical unstable, waffling Borderline  who blows hot and cold depending on my mood and can’t stick to my beliefs.

None of these are actually true (though I do feel a little crazy!)

Please hear me out.   It’s not what you’re probably thinking at all.   I still can’t stand Trump.  I can’t stand his personality, his racism, his sexism, his entitlement, his malignant narcissism, the way he insults those who aren’t exactly like him.   Hell, I can’t stand his FACE.  I can barely stand looking at his smug orange mug, his bloated body, and his ridiculous peach-colored toupee.

But more than anything else, I can’t stand his LACK of any real principles or ideals.   Donald Trump is a man who cares about nothing.  He has waffled on everything from abortion to Planned Parenthood to gay rights to roles of women to Obamacare to globalism.    The only thing he seems to have any passion about is keeping foreigners OUT.  And even that could change tomorrow.

Why?  Because Donald Trump is a textbook case of NPD.   Narcissists at his level of malignancy have no ideals or real beliefs of their own, because they don’t care about ideals and beliefs.   Donald Trump has no God; he regards himself as God.  Hell, he even admitted he has never asked God’s forgiveness because he doesn’t need to.   Yet evangelical churches are threatening their congregations with hellfire if they didn’t vote for him.

Although I’m a die-hard liberal (not necessarily a Democrat, more of a democratic socialist, third-party voter type, although I did cave in and vote for Hillary at the end), I can still respect a man or woman who has opposite views to my own, no matter how conservative, as long as they truly believe that what they stand for is right.    If they believe that their ideologies are the best thing for all Americans, even if they aren’t.    I didn’t agree with Ronald Reagan’s or George W. Bush’s policies AT ALL, but I believe that deep down, these were good men, trying to do what was best for the country.   They CARED.  They weren’t promoting their policies for their own glory and fame (or at least not completely), but because they believed in those policies.   So I can respect someone like Reagan or Bush, even if I disagreed with them.

Donald Trump is a man with NO principles, NO real beliefs (except in himself), NO ethics, no true ideology.   He stands for nothing.  He is a man without a conscience, without empathy, who thinks nothing of insulting entire populations of Americans who are different than he is.   He has shamelessly pandered to the Christian right knowing they would vote Republican no matter what (especially when he uses the anti-abortion and anti-homosexuality rhetoric to get those votes), but he himself is not a Christian (although he says he is, I do not believe him).  His actions, deeds and words are anything but Christian.    Donald Trump believes in nothing, except perhaps, that he is the Second Coming.

Psychiatrists have broken their own rule to never diagnose anyone they haven’t met in person and given a formal psychiatric evaluation.  The media and Internet is abuzz with respected mental health professionals declaring that Donald Trump is a textbook case of NPD.  One psychiatrist even said there was no better example of a high-spectrum narcissist than Donald Trump, who he believes possesses all nine DSM criteria.  This psychiatrist has actually used clips of Trump’s speeches to use in his graduate and college psychology classes to show what someone with a bad case of NPD acts like.

The exciting week ahead and my fears about that.  

On Sunday night, through Thursday, I will be attending a conference in Chapel Hill and Raleigh that will cover Christian principles in dealing with and healing disorders caused by trauma, such as PTSD, C-PTSD, DID, and personality disorders.

As I described in this post, it’s truly uncanny how every obstacle I was facing to be able to attend  this conference (and there were a LOT of obstacles — the possibility of my being able to attend seemed very remote) were moved aside.    Donations came out of nowhere.   Even my boss gave me her blessing, even though I have no vacation time coming up.   I’ll even get my lost pay replaced by a kind donation.     I prayed a lot about this beforehand and then suddenly all these obstacles were lifted.  I couldn’t believe how easy it was.

But I still had a lot of doubts and misgivings.  Even after I researched the program I’ll be attending (HeartSync) and found nothing negative written about it, other worries began to plague me.   I’m socially awkward and shy in person; what if I didn’t fit in?  What if the other attendees (most who are probably more well to do than me) didn’t like me?   What if they regarded me as too low-class, too poor, too shy, or just too weird?   What if they didn’t like my rather shabby clothes, my unstyled hair, my old car, my cheap baggage?

I also admit I felt nervous about staying in a hotel room for 4 – 5 days with a woman I have only talked to a few times on the phone and in email.   What if we didn’t hit it off, in spite of her incredible generosity and kindness?  Maybe she would change her mind about me and decide we had nothing in common.  As someone who has often been disappointed by others and has often been bullied, dismissed, or rejected by other people, I’m hypervigilant and nervous about those things happening, about not being accepted or included.    I’ve been programmed to think this way, and although it’s slowly changing as I begin to like and respect myself more, I still fall back into that way of thinking so easily, especially when I’m triggered.

I decided that instead of holding my feelings to myself, to approach my new friend with with my concerns.   I felt it was better to get all that out in the open and talk about it, than worry and fret that I might be an outcast or not fit in (and then act in ways that might bring on rejection).  I was reassured that this was a healing seminar, with plenty of people suffering from PTSD and other disorders that caused their self esteem to take a nosedive, and there are Christian therapists there to talk to should I feel triggered in any way.


All this was very reassuring, but when my new friend told me she was happy about Trump’s election, I was initially tempted to tell her to forget the whole thing, return her generous donation, because no way could I room with a Trump supporter when I’m still so triggered by his election a few days ago.

But then my friend told me something positively mind-bending.  What she said was something I don’t think I would ever have thought of on my own, but I believe she’s onto something big here.

She said she couldn’t stand either of the candidates (which I couldn’t either) and like many, didn’t vote for either of them.   She assured me she does not like Trump and agrees that he is a malignant narcissist without principles who doesn’t really believe in anything except himself.

Mass education about NPD is the way out of this mess.

But she said that his election was a wonderful thing, because it will–and already is–educating the general public about NPD and malignant narcissism.   As of right now, only mental health professionals and people who read narcissism blogs on the Internet really know anything about this disorder.  Trump is, by default, going to make narcissism a household word–not in the current misguided belief that it means taking selfies — but the true meaning of NPD–a person so damaged they must project their pathology onto others, develop a false self to fool others and puff themselves up, can tolerate no criticism, and attack anyone they believe is against them.

As Trump progresses during his presidency, we are going to witness Trump’s obvious mental and emotional instability as he attempts to fill a role so over his level of experience it’s laughable.  He will almost certainly fail.   My friend believes there are still enough checks and balances to keep him from doing any real damage.   Most narcissists are all talk and no action anyway.   As he blunders about and rants and rages,  we are going to be hearing and reading more and more about NPD and how it was the rise of narcissism that brought this country to where it is and finally allowed its poster boy–Donald Trump–to be elected.

Trump is likely to accomplish nothing except one very important thing: his unstable, borderline-crazy behavior will begin to make people realize that we have sunk so low as to elect a sociopathic narcissist as our president.   That in itself might be a wake up call for us all, and could start the pendulum swinging back toward the support of candidates showing more empathy, compassion, and a sense of fairness and justice, who have real beliefs and care about America and the world.   We are all going to be learning a lot about narcissism.  There is still a lot of ignorance and misunderstandings about this personality disorder.

As the tide begins to turn, and people realize we have elected someone who does not care about anyone but himself,  people will begin to give each other what they hope to see in a leader during other times — compassion, caring, and helping each other.

Education–in this case a worldwide crash course in malignant NPD and its devastating effects when one is allowed to rise as far as Trump has–is what is so sorely needed right now.    Perhaps without Trump’s election, we would never get that far-reaching education and people would remain ignorant.

As depressed as I’ve been over the past several days over Trump’s win, I’m looking at things now in a whole new light and feel completely ready to attend this seminar, which in some way I don’t understand right now, has everything to do with what I just learned.

I’m stuck and scared.


The election happened 3 days ago, and I can’t move on from the shock and grief.  I’ve never reacted like this to any election of a new president.

I had no idea I’d react this badly.  I really didn’t think he had a chance.  But I remember watching that map light up in red state by state and thinking, “this can’t be happening.  What the hell is happening?”  It was very surreal.   I felt dissociated the next day.  I still feel like it isn’t real.

It’s not that I was any big fan of Hillary either.   Both parties are corrupt and neither represents the interests of most of the people.  But with Hillary, we’d just have more of the same, basically.  I could live with that.

What I can’t live with is this.  An America run by a racist, sexist sociopath and malignant narcissist who would stop at nothing to destroy everything we’ve been gained in the last 50 years.

I can’t believe women actually voted for him.   What woman with any respect for herself would vote for a man who talks about grabbing pussies and generally talks about women as if they are sex objects or chattel?  Who even made sexual references to his own daughter?   What woman in her right mind would just look past that?

And yet….53% of white women voted for the orange faced man?   WHY?   I can’t believe that figure is really true.

I think there’s something fishy going on with the votes.   I think they were tampered with. I also think Hillary voters were fooled into “voting” on those websites that told them they could just vote online instead of having to go to the polls.  Those votes were bogus because they didn’t count.  I think those sites were set up by Trump’s goons to fool gullible Democrats.

During his acceptance speech (more subdued than what we’ve come to expect of him), his young son, probably about 10 or 11, stood next to him.  At one point, someone in the crowd could be heard shouting,  “KILL OBAMA!”  A few others joined in.  Trump didn’t even flinch.   He said nothing and just kept yammering away.  But his son did flinch and looked very uncomfortable.   I felt so sorry for the kid.  Why didn’t Trump ask these goons to STFU?  Well, of course he wouldn’t.  Because it’s people like that who are his supporters.   God, there’s a lot of disgusting, ugly people in this country.

This is the whole acceptance speech.  You can hear the “KILL OBAMA” at around the 5:32 mark.  Watch his son’s face.

I’m just sick over this.    I’m also very triggered.   This man scares me to death.  He reminds me of Hitler.  And he reminds me of my own FOO, who know nothing about love or compassion but only care about themselves.  He makes me feel helpless, terrified, and powerless, triggering memories of how my FOO and my ex made me feel.

I have no idea what’s going to happen now.   I just know it’s going to be bad.  Riots are already breaking out because of his racist policies.   Our first black president is being replaced by someone who the KKK has endorsed.   I don’t blame them for taking to the streets.  This is going to escalate into civil war.  California is threatening to secede. If they do, I may drive out there and live in my car until I can get a job and settle somewhere.   I don’t want to be left behind with the crazies.

I couldn’t stand George W. Bush or his policies, but I would kiss him right now if he offered to come back and take the presidency away from Trump.   Reagan too.  Hell, even Goldwater!  At least those men had principles.  They believed in something.  Trump believes in nothing but himself.   He has no principles and no ethics.

And now I’m really appreciating Obama in a way I never did before.   I’m going to miss him and am very scared when he steps down on January 20th to let this narcissistic demagogue take the reigns of the U.S. presidency.

Is it normal to still be in a state of shock and depression three days later?   I can’t even think about anything else.   I’m really stuck and feel like I’m in a never-ending nightmare.  Am I the only one?