Butchcountry67 gave me an idea for a new post tonight. (By the way, his blog about living on the Canadian prairie with his young son is wonderful, so please follow him.) In my earlier post, “What Do You Like Best (and Least) About Blogging,” a comment of his really got me thinking.

Butch said (as one of the things he likes least),

[…]the uncertainty of just who is reading my blogs … not so much those that follow my blog, but those that do not and read it nonetheless.

My reply:
If I stop and think about the hundreds of strangers every day reading this blog–not fellow bloggers from WP who already follow me–but everyone else (and there’s so many more of them than WP bloggers!) it can freak you out just a little. I try not to think about it when hitting the Publish button, especially if it’s a post about a personal or sensitive subject.

But at the same time, it’s exciting and thrilling, because you never know what sort of important people who can help you (or that you may be helping!) may be reading your words.

I’ve had a few people read this blog or a post on this blog I never expected to in a million years.
Some examples:

1. Sam Vaknin was one of the first, and he even used to comment and helped my visibility so much for awhile (seriously, whether or not you like the guy, this blog would not be where it is today were it not for him, and Sam, if you are still reading, thank you!)
2. a researcher and Ph.D candidate from the University of Georgia who wanted me to help disseminate a study questionnaire. I’m still waiting for the results of that study and will post them as soon as I get the information, which has been promised to me and I do have permission to post the results.
3. Owners and admins of non-WP blogs that are well established in the narcissistic abuse community
4. various other authors of both fiction and nonfiction who I can’t remember the names of at the moment.

Sometimes I don’t find out until I check Twitter and find out someone I never expected favorited, DM’d me with thanks, or retweeted one of my posts (which meant they probably read at least the post concerning them). Two that come to mind are Eric Casaccio, director of the short film “Narcissist” and Christian singer Danny Gokey. Both expressed gratitude for my attention (and in so doing, helped me out too).

The 90-9-1 rule of online community participation. 90% of your readership consists of lurkers.

It’s such a cool feeling when something like that happens. It’s one of the highlights of having a slightly visible blog. You should have a Twitter account connected to your blog. It’s the easiest way to find out who some of your important lurkers may be and helps give your blog visibility.

You just never know who your “lurkers” may be. 🙂 Don’t be afraid of them–love your lurkers! It’s not your friends and followers, but your lurkers, who help your blog gain visibility, and you just might be helping them out too.

And thanks to Butch too, for giving me this idea tonight.