One of my favorite activities when I was growing up was spending hours in our dusty, swelteringly-hot-in-the-summer, wood-pine-fragrant attic for hours at a time. In the attic were several old trunks filled with family photographs, both recent and very old. I remember being fascinated by them all but especially by the pictures taken of my grandmother when she was young. She was born around the turn of the 20th century, so when she was a young woman (“lady” back in those days) she was a flapper who could be seen decked out in the loose short sleeveless dresses, long beads, boas, and the short hairdo’s of the day.

Click on photo to enlarge.
My grandmother Earlene with my dad in 1930. I love the cloche hat. She was beautiful and always so fashionable too.

I think every family has certain photographs that capture the imagination of children born generations later. When I think of the future, say about 50-100 years from now, and my grandchildren (should I ever have any), great-grandchildren or great-great grandchildren are scouring THEIR attic (or whatever serves as an attic in 2085 or whatever) THIS is the picture of me I hope they find. It was taken in about 2000 and shows me holding Kimba, my cat at that time (she got run over by a car).

I know the focus is shitty because my camera sucks and the picture is so tiny (that’s a miniature pewter frame about 1 1/4 inches across), but I think this picture captures my personality in a unique way that shows me the way I really am instead of the me my parents wanted me to be in all the family photos (always smiling). I look a bit pensive and far away, but also vulnerable and a bit bemused. That’s what I actually walk around feeling like in my normal-for-me (meaning non-depressed) moods. It reminds me of a photograph of a woman of about 100 years ago–ever notice people in old photos almost never smiled? The men looked stern and mean and so did some of the women (especially older ones), but most younger women looked the way I do in this picture, and that’s why I hope to be remembered this way.

I faded the color a bit to make the photo seem more antique-looking.